posted January 11, 2020 03:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
@Aries23Degrees

i wonder if your feeling invalidated stems from your cancer moon, the more i think about it i think that might be a big part of it because i've noticed he's actually pretty good at dealing with my feeling....

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Ehmm..i think so.There is a self centred way that Cancer moon view their emotions. Its like I actually believe that few feel as deeply(true or not)

I am not always in my feelings. And far from that occasional disagreement, I actually get on well with Cap Moon.

Its when I am in "crisis" mode that I find their impassive style unsatisfying.I interpret the "healthy distance" you speak of as "disinterest" in me.

Yeah I know that I dont expect them to make me feel better.But I often don't get sensitivity and empathy that I expect to get. Not when I need it.

I think its the fundamental difference between water and earth.Earth will reason at all times and its about context.

Water will sway with feelings to a point of exaggeration. But this is also natural before they pull back.

With Cancer and Cap, Cap reasons at times when Cancer is swinging between Oceans. This "reasoning" comes across as judgment or inability to understand or empathize.

Cap may also see the moodiness of Cancer as "childlike". Everyone is responsible for themselves right?

No, not to Cancer. We scratch each others back and the role of nurturer and caregiver is expected from the partner too. There is "mergence" that they believe should happen.

posted January 11, 2020 04:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Your understanding of him may come from your Mars in Cap.

I have Mercury in Cap and even with this, I can find it difficult to understand where Cap and I seem to clash....a lot.

Last argument i had with one(and it seems to happen with many of them) he said "you are not the only one who feels stuff.And just because we are all not walking around all up in our feelings to NEVER see another's point of view, doesn't mean our own point of view is invalid."

Admittedly I can have a "tunnel vision" about my own emotions. True. But i think i am prickly to how unkind they can be when they get dismissive-or atleast I perceive them as being "dismissive". Lol

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must be, because i don't really clash with them

maybe the moon-uranus-mercury trine is helpful there too in my case because i'm pretty dismissive of my own feelings moreso than any cap moon has ever been

this guy in particular tries really hard to know exactly what i'm feeling and takes it all very seriously, but im good friends with another cap moon who makes saying he cares a point when i've talked about things

my biggest issue is more that it's like pulling teeth to know what he's feeling because he's not verbal about it it's all based more on his actions and he can be a bit too pragmatic

i actually do understand what he means ive noticed a lot of people who get very emotional tend to treat their emotions as deeper somehow which is pretty unfair, at the same time it's not really ok to invalidate another person's feelings without hearing them out so both parties are part of the issue really

@teasel

just finished having to live off smoothies for a bit, back to actual food for however long that lasts

posted January 11, 2020 04:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Ehmm..i think so.There is a self centred way that Cancer moon view their emotions. Its like I actually believe that few feel as deeply(true or not)

I am not always in my feelings. And far from that occasional disagreement, I actually get on well with Cap Moon.

Its when I am in "crisis" mode that I find their impassive style unsatisfying.I interpret the "healthy distance" you speak of as "disinterest" in me.

Yeah I know that I dont expect them to make me feel better.But I often don't get sensitivity and empathy that I expect to get. Not when I need it.

I think its the fundamental difference between water and earth.Earth will reason at all times and its about context.

Water will sway with feelings to a point of exaggeration. But this is also natural before they pull back.

With Cancer and Cap, Cap reasons at times when Cancer is swinging between Oceans. This "reasoning" comes across as judgment or inability to understand or empathize.

Cap may also see the moodiness of Cancer as "childlike". Everyone is responsible for themselves right?

No, not to Cancer. We scratch each others back and the role of nurturer and caregiver is expected from the partner too. There is "mergence" that they believe should happen.

I never feel Cap has my back.I feel they think me too "demanding".So it never ends well between us.

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my father is the only cancer moon i can think of and i find him very irrational and explosive with his feelings and for most of my life found it easier to just not interact with him unless it's to talk about movies or make fun of something

i find when people feel like their own feelings are deeper than mine that i'm put off because it just seems like their inability to reign them in makes things count more and like other people have to cater to it, which is too unfair

it's interesting that you feel that way because i can honestly say i find him really comforting when i've been at my most upset, and i know another cap moon ive always had an easy time discussing things with

i find him in particular very calming though and when i've been in a really bad place i can honestly say i feel like he handles it all better than most people do

i find other people pry too much or react too much and i like that just listen then either say something reasonable and logical and thought out approach

it actually makes me feel better and generally that kind of thing really cheers me up

i do feel like there's a sensitivity there in the willingness to listen and offer constructive advice

that all being said i understand the feeling judged bit because they are judgemental, in a lot of ways generally

and there's something about them where even if they never outright judge you sort of feels like they are (at least i can get that sense anyway)

i havent been called too demanding though ive been told to be more open and to not close off and detach as much as i do

i could definitely see how our differences change the experience though

i have no doubt that if i was the way you describe yourself i'd find cap moons very frustrating and dismissive

this guy in particular though i find easy to talk to, there have been times where i wouldve drank or something where i've found talking to him instead more helpful than my usual detach or escape mechanisms

it's like getting to understand what feelings are in a safe non reactive environment because im awful with feelings (mine in particular)

posted January 11, 2020 05:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
my father is the only cancer moon i can think of and i find him very irrational and explosive with his feelings and for most of my life found it easier to just not interact with him unless it's to talk about movies or make fun of something

i find when people feel like their own feelings are deeper than mine that i'm put off because it just seems like their inability to reign them in makes things count more and like other people have to cater to it, which is too unfair

it's interesting that you feel that way because i can honestly say i find him really comforting when i've been at my most upset, and i know another cap moon ive always had an easy time discussing things with

i find him in particular very calming though and when i've been in a really bad place i can honestly say i feel like he handles it all better than most people do

i find other people pry too much or react too much and i like that just listen then either say something reasonable and logical and thought out approach

it actually makes me feel better and generally that kind of thing really cheers me up

i do feel like there's a sensitivity there in the willingness to listen and offer constructive advice

that all being said i understand the feeling judged bit because they are judgemental, in a lot of ways generally

and there's something about them where even if they never outright judge you sort of feels like they are (at least i can get that sense anyway)

i havent been called too demanding though ive been told to be more open and to not close off and detach as much as i do

i could definitely see how our differences change the experience though

i have no doubt that if i was the way you describe yourself i'd find cap moons very frustrating and dismissive

this guy in particular though i find easy to talk to, there have been times where i wouldve drank or something where i've found talking to him instead more helpful than my usual detach or escape mechanisms

it's like getting to understand what feelings are in a safe non reactive environment because im awful with feelings (mine in particular)

i dont have any personal water planets though

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BINGO! That's where the detachment from your emotions may come from no? Your Dad seemed to crowd the room with his. There was no space for anyone elses feelings? Yours?

Its interesting because I find Cancer Moon people hit/miss with me also. My sister has Moon in Cancer conj Asc.And she has a tendency of filling the room with her emotions and allowing not much feelings when she is sad.

When I am sad,I talk it out. It soothes me. And so when I dont get a receptive sounding board,I feel the feelings pent up within and implode.

I think water signs can be "energy vampires" .In that when they feel bad, everyone must feel like they do.Thats the ishtty part about it.

Your Dad probably made you and everyone else responsible for his mental state. You were exposed to a very misdirected and emotionally volatile Cancer Moon(you get plenty of those).

The opposite of that is the protective, nurturing energy that this Moon provides. Many(like Cancer Mars) love to spoon. But men generally have a harder time with this Moon than women.

Conor McGregor is Cancer Sun,Moon,Mercury and Chiron. He looks like he has tons of anger issues what with the Chiron-Mars in Aries square. Not a Cancer Moon I would be all that interested in getting to know.

posted January 11, 2020 07:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
BINGO! That's where the detachment from your emotions may come from no? Your Dad seemed to crowd the room with his. There was no space for anyone elses feelings? Yours?

Its interesting because I find Cancer Moon people hit/miss with me also. My sister has Moon in Cancer conj Asc.And she has a tendency of filling the room with her emotions and allowing not much feelings when she is sad.

When I am sad,I talk it out. It soothes me. And so when I dont get a receptive sounding board,I feel the feelings pent up within and implode.

I think water signs can be "energy vampires" .In that when they feel bad, everyone must feel like they do.Thats the ishtty part about it.

Your Dad probably made you and everyone else responsible for his mental state. You were exposed to a very misdirected and emotionally volatile Cancer Moon(you get plenty of those).

The opposite of that is the protective, nurturing energy that this Moon provides.Many (like Cancer Mars) love go spoon. But men generally have a harder time with this Moon than women.

Conor McGregor is Cancer Sun,Moon,Mercury and Chiron. He looks like he has tons of anger issues what with the Chiron-Mars in Aries square. Not a Cancer Moon I would be all that interested in getting to know.

Keanu Reeves is also Cancer Moon/Ven & Mars-a different kettle of fish altogether. He seems a lot more laid back and self deprecating than many celebs. I think the added Virgo supports this. He seems to me more interesting.

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partially that was definitely a thing (with him and my older brother actually), but it was also just pushed (my father is a leo sun leo mercury too, and has an out of sign moon-mars square virgo mars)

i wasnt really allowed to have feelings if they were negative had to always compromise etc because i was seen as the more reasonable one so that's just how it went

it was either that or get punished or hit or whatever, lot of fun **** there is what it is

i just remembered my niece is a cancer moon too, but she's 5 so it's hard to tell what that'll be like

really ******* sensitive though so far everything makes her cry

my brother took her to the movies to see some dog movie (told him he'd regret it) a while back and she cried through the entire thing because the dog got separated from its family or some **** , she can be sweet though it's just not something im used to

it's interesting though to see my parents really coddle her feelings, i think they needed that tbh, made them better people having her as a granddaughter

i can handle people who want to talk about their **** im fine with listening even if they have a lot of feelings so i cant really fault you for that

my ex was like that but she had an aries moon (square neptune) and a scorpio stellium

she'd actually pick fights and then tell me it was because she was in a bad mood and wanted me to feel like **** too, and that her feelings were deeper than mine anyway so it wasnt a big deal i'd just get over it

my father definitely did that yeah, really big on scapegoating

cancer mars grates on me, i can deal with cancer placements (my grandfather was a cancer sun and he was probably one of my favorite people) but even if i otherwise like someone if they have a cancer mars i find them sort of annoying

it's like they try to control the most frivolous dumb **** and will explode over nothing and then when something actually matters they bend over backwards and submit and it ******* drives me crazy

my mother has a cancer mars, and i love her but i find half of what she does misdirected and nonsensical

i have no idea who conor mcgregor is btw

could be the ic i suppose i dont really think about it much

i generally like cap moons, find taurus moons alright too virgo moons are hit and miss for me as far as earth moons go (also don't care for virgo mercury generally, it's like you need to have a 10 hour semantics discussion to have what couldve been a 5 minute talk with one in a lot of cases)

with water signs cancer moons seem hit or miss, pisces moons i can enjoy, scorpio moons are too intense for me though even when i like one i find that they're way too much and we clash

fire moons i prefer other aries moons but i get along with the other 2 alright and with air moons i usually get along with them all fine but tend to prefer aquarius

posted January 11, 2020 07:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
I caved. My own moon square mars just needed some food (chicken sandwich and fries). My stomach was growling, and we weren’t going right home. I ran to the loo three times, in about thirty minutes. I didn’t plan this well.

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that's unfortunate and miserable sounding, sorry to hear it

i just wont eat at all if im going out on days i feel like **** and im careful the day before

hunger is just a feeling that subsides if you ignore it anyway, doesnt take long either

i'll just substitute food with coffee or tea if i end up in a restaurant or some **** with people on a day like that or if i feel like i need something

if im home and giving into an impulse is reasonable (given pain levels and whether or not i have to do anything the next day) then i will and suffer

but i guess that doesnt quite count as being impulsive

im weird with that kind of thing i have to pre-decide there's nothing to care about then i'll go with whatever

i think that's why i'll do dumb **** in certain frames of mind but not in others

i used to think i would never be able to handle being sober but now i realize it was just escapism because now i have alcohol around and just havent even bothered with it

so it wasnt really self control so much as it was being **** with having feelings

posted January 12, 2020 02:27 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
partially that was definitely a thing (with him and my older brother actually), but it was also just pushed (my father is a leo sun leo mercury too, and has an out of sign moon-mars square virgo mars)

i wasnt really allowed to have feelings if they were negative had to always compromise etc because i was seen as the more reasonable one so that's just how it went

it was either that or get punished or hit or whatever, lot of fun **** there is what it is

i just remembered my niece is a cancer moon too, but she's 5 so it's hard to tell what that'll be like

really ******* sensitive though so far everything makes her cry

my brother took her to the movies to see some dog movie (told him he'd regret it) a while back and she cried through the entire thing because the dog got separated from its family or some **** , she can be sweet though it's just not something im used to

it's interesting though to see my parents really coddle her feelings, i think they needed that tbh, made them better people having her as a granddaughter

i can handle people who want to talk about their **** im fine with listening even if they have a lot of feelings so i cant really fault you for that

my ex was like that but she had an aries moon (square neptune) and a scorpio stellium

she'd actually pick fights and then tell me it was because she was in a bad mood and wanted me to feel like **** too, and that her feelings were deeper than mine anyway so it wasnt a big deal i'd just get over it

my father definitely did that yeah, really big on scapegoating

cancer mars grates on me, i can deal with cancer placements (my grandfather was a cancer sun and he was probably one of my favorite people) but even if i otherwise like someone if they have a cancer mars i find them sort of annoying

it's like they try to control the most frivolous dumb **** and will explode over nothing and then when something actually matters they bend over backwards and submit and it ******* drives me crazy

my mother has a cancer mars, and i love her but i find half of what she does misdirected and nonsensical

i have no idea who conor mcgregor is btw

could be the ic i suppose i dont really think about it much

i generally like cap moons, find taurus moons alright too virgo moons are hit and miss for me as far as earth moons go (also don't care for virgo mercury generally, it's like you need to have a 10 hour semantics discussion to have what couldve been a 5 minute talk with one in a lot of cases)

with water signs cancer moons seem hit or miss, pisces moons i can enjoy, scorpio moons are too intense for me though even when i like one i find that they're way too much and we clash

fire moons i prefer other aries moons but i get along with the other 2 alright and with air moons i usually get along with them all fine but tend to prefer aquarius

cancer mars and virgo mercury are probably the placements i like the least in all of astrology, generally speaking, aspects and other **** can change it or balance it out and make the individual decent at the very least

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Yeah.In families where adults act like children & are volatile-letting their emotions run all over the place etc. Children are forced to be young adults by parenting themselves & learning emotional independence from their parents.

At worst the child can condition themselves to avoid feeling vulnerable, to "toughen" up etc.Or to regurgitate the upbringing by being
volatile,rationalize things away or even detach (in your case)- whichever of the said reactions proves effective for them.

Conor McGregor is a MMA champion btw . And I think he learned to respond to feelings by "toughening up"-what with the Chiron in Cancer square Mars in Aries. Weakness is tied to feeling vulnerable or being emotional.

And as can be expected from him and many of these wannabe "macho" types of guys,he uses homophobic slurs as a tactic to intimidate opponents in the ring(Aries Mars)

Misogyny and Homophobia seem to be the consistent "go to" areas for angry muscle-heads am afraid.Its just convenient.

I also had a father (Cancer Sun/Cap Moon/Leo Mercury-Uranus-Mars-Pluto) who was so tense to live with.We walked on eggshells around him because his temper was so volatile.

My family life is filled with repressed resentment and my siblings and I seem to still harbour latent feelings of anger, helplessness and victimisation by that upbringing.

I have learned to rationalize feelings.And that's what makes this transit so challenging I guess, because I dont have the opportunity to do that. My feelings are very much "at the entrance door" now.

My Mom(coincidentally) also has Mars in Cancer. I also see the "submission" thing you speak of. But i think in her case, she has learned to regurgitate her upbringing too( my grandma faced abuse from grabdpa)

So she defended my father's rotten behaviour-which caused mixed feelings within us. And still does.And she expected us to "adjust" to him and "love" him regardless of his bull*** (practically improbable for all of us)

My love affair with Cancer Mars started with an ex. He has his Mars trine my Moon & Venus and we just "got" each other with very little effort.

Curiously,even the square Mars/Mars aspect did only to increase sexual tension-maybe because I had my Mars conj his Sun in Lib?

But the sexual chemistry was great. I really enjoyed him physically(pity he was conflicted internally and eventually married a woman)

However, I am aware of what you speak of and do understand your distaste for Cancer Mars. It could also be that Cancer Mars directly opposes your Mars( by sign) and the way you both assert yourselves is very different?

When we have a direct planet to planet contact with a sign, it feels all up in our face. With you, its Cancer Mars opp your Mars.And with me,its Cap Moon opp my Moon.

Virgo Merc can be a headache with all the specifics. But i have not interacted with many enough to form an opinion on what goes on with them upstairs.

Aquarius/Scorpio and Cap (barring aspects to contradict the energy)are my least fav Moon signs. Aqua is too detached,Scorpio too intense & Cap too cold. I can't

#btw gour girlfriend was flat out manipulative. You don't crush others and get them to feel bad so that you can collect miserable company thag aligns with how you feel. That's messed up.

I do the "punishing" through silent trestment thing too. Its an aggressive tactic to get others to "tow" the line.But I have learned that physical and emotional distance works best.

So when mad, I stay away from the said person and only confront them when ready.I dont allow most people to get close enough to hurt me like that anyways emotionally( well,that's not until this damne transit).

posted January 12, 2020 12:46 PM            

yeah you're right, for me it's been what it is and in my ex's case it made her volatile (just like my father's upbringing made him volatile and her mother's made her volatile) only so many outcomes ultimately

i'm nearly entirely cut off from media in general tbh, so i don't follow much of anything outside of news and even lately i've been rather cut off from that

yeah both are pretty common outlets for insecure masculinity because attacking femininity over developing a sense of self becomes the way, no different than the way women who hate femininity can take it out on men (though they also usually hate other women as well)

eggshells were common around my father too, less so around my mother who was fairly abusive when i was a kid though in an emotional context remained that way for a very long time (my mother excels at gaslighting and guilt trips etc she has a scorpio stellium with neptune conjunct her scorpio mercury)

my older brother can be volatile, my younger brother blames himself for everything and went the overachiever route but emotional eats and such (he was my father's favorite and got the least amount of **** ) and well you about all my drug use and such

my mother also reflected her childhood issues except it was my grandmother who was abusive (she had a stroke that altered her personality) and my grandfather in the caretaker role even after they separated

my mother was odd in the sense where she just sort of encouraged us to deal and openly stayed with my father for security reasons (theyve become closer now as theyre older but when i was younger hearing my mother discuss things with her friends like elaborate joke plans to kill their husbands and live off the money they'd get was very normal for me)

i had a fwbs who was a cap sun cancer mars and that never got much of anywhere he had an on/off gf and eventually had a kid etc we were never in a position where his issues came up but i'd see the cancer mars behavior in the way he was with that chick

his sun was conjunct my mars

i think it's partially due to my mars (though i can like other cancer placements, though not coupled with too much leo ive noticed) yeah because the way they assert themselves is grating and frivolous to me

i think my aries moon also comes into play there i hate being told what to do by someone who i think lacks the sense and ability to tell me what to do because they focus on **** i find dumb and submit to things i cant respect them for

maybe it's because i have squares to cap natal but things from that direction bother me less

i'm fine with cancer suns (usually if they have gemini placements) and cancer venus though in particular

i can spot a virgo mercury based on the migraine i get when i talk to them usually, not even joking

even when i like them i can find them very annoying and i think that's partially due to my leo mercury tbh

because i'll speak in generalizations and whatnot and don't care for the details where it isnt necessary (and i dont think it is for casual conversation) and so there's just always a mutual conflict and lack of understanding from each other

i like the detachment of aquarius moons for friendships because **** can be really casual and fun and just this exchange of ideas go our separate ways come back and pick back up and well you know i enjoy cap moons already, but yeah scorpio moons are too intense

i find their feelings suffocating and overwhelming and i cant stand how obsessive they can get, it makes me want to chew my arm off to get away from them and i cant even imagine dating one i think i'd rather shoot myself in the face because being friends can be difficult enough

their lives are either a constant crisis or they make me feel like theyre trying to eat my soul, in both cases i don't enjoy it

yeah my ex could be a really terrible person and has been spiraling and becoming worse since the break up to a point where i'm having to not only cut her out but take action in ways i didnt want to in order to get/keep her out of my life

i don't see anything good for her unfortunately, but she's also just becoming increasingly toxic and already was on/off for a long time

it's a shame because she does have some good qualities but theyre buried under a lot at this point

silent treatment ****** me off like nothing else, she used to do that

there's literally no way to get me more mad than the silent treatment, but it doesnt ever result in people getting what they want out of me and always makes the situation worse

if something is wrong i want to talk about it, deal with it, and be done

my ex was big on the silent treatment **** and honestly i'd never deal with anyone who did that again

i see it even once i'm out

i can handle someone needing a little time to come back and deal with something in a less emotional state of mind, but that's different

it's odd for as much as this transit has been affecting me it hasnt felt negwtive even when bad **** 's happened

i feel better than i have and like self control has been at an all time high in a lot of ways and i'm appreciating it

posted January 13, 2020 01:11 PM            

Consistent meditation, taking Ashwagandha herb, a more vegetarian diet, and much time spent out in nature.

Then, the mental attitude and realization that most who hold racist, homophobic, and narrow, separative, and hateful beliefs of all kinds, are often spiritually, children.

When you think of them as like being children, whatever the age of their body, it helps to tolerate their shenanigans more. Most of these are probably trying to grow and mature on a Soul level, but just are towards the beginning of it. Some are also conditioned from an early age as actual children to believe in this crap i.e. familial brainwashing.

posted January 14, 2020 07:55 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
@Aries23Degrees

yeah you're right, for me it's been what it is and in my ex's case it made her volatile (just like my father's upbringing made him volatile and her mother's made her volatile) only so many outcomes ultimately

i'm nearly entirely cut off from media in general tbh, so i don't follow much of anything outside of news and even lately i've been rather cut off from that

yeah both are pretty common outlets for insecure masculinity because attacking femininity over developing a sense of self becomes the way, no different than the way women who hate femininity can take it out on men (though they also usually hate other women as well)

eggshells were common around my father too, less so around my mother who was fairly abusive when i was a kid though in an emotional context remained that way for a very long time (my mother excels at gaslighting and guilt trips etc she has a scorpio stellium with neptune conjunct her scorpio mercury)

my older brother can be volatile, my younger brother blames himself for everything and went the overachiever route but emotional eats and such (he was my father's favorite and got the least amount of **** ) and well you about all my drug use and such

my mother also reflected her childhood issues except it was my grandmother who was abusive (she had a stroke that altered her personality) and my grandfather in the caretaker role even after they separated

my mother was odd in the sense where she just sort of encouraged us to deal and openly stayed with my father for security reasons (theyve become closer now as theyre older but when i was younger hearing my mother discuss things with her friends like elaborate joke plans to kill their husbands and live off the money they'd get was very normal for me)

i had a fwbs who was a cap sun cancer mars and that never got much of anywhere he had an on/off gf and eventually had a kid etc we were never in a position where his issues came up but i'd see the cancer mars behavior in the way he was with that chick

his sun was conjunct my mars

i think it's partially due to my mars (though i can like other cancer placements, though not coupled with too much leo ive noticed) yeah because the way they assert themselves is grating and frivolous to me

i think my aries moon also comes into play there i hate being told what to do by someone who i think lacks the sense and ability to tell me what to do because they focus on **** i find dumb and submit to things i cant respect them for

maybe it's because i have squares to cap natal but things from that direction bother me less

i'm fine with cancer suns (usually if they have gemini placements) and cancer venus though in particular

i can spot a virgo mercury based on the migraine i get when i talk to them usually, not even joking

even when i like them i can find them very annoying and i think that's partially due to my leo mercury tbh

because i'll speak in generalizations and whatnot and don't care for the details where it isnt necessary (and i dont think it is for casual conversation) and so there's just always a mutual conflict and lack of understanding from each other

i like the detachment of aquarius moons for friendships because **** can be really casual and fun and just this exchange of ideas go our separate ways come back and pick back up and well you know i enjoy cap moons already, but yeah scorpio moons are too intense

i find their feelings suffocating and overwhelming and i cant stand how obsessive they can get, it makes me want to chew my arm off to get away from them and i cant even imagine dating one i think i'd rather shoot myself in the face because being friends can be difficult enough

their lives are either a constant crisis or they make me feel like theyre trying to eat my soul, in both cases i don't enjoy it

yeah my ex could be a really terrible person and has been spiraling and becoming worse since the break up to a point where i'm having to not only cut her out but take action in ways i didnt want to in order to get/keep her out of my life

i don't see anything good for her unfortunately, but she's also just becoming increasingly toxic and already was on/off for a long time

it's a shame because she does have some good qualities but theyre buried under a lot at this point

silent treatment ****** me off like nothing else, she used to do that

there's literally no way to get me more mad than the silent treatment, but it doesnt ever result in people getting what they want out of me and always makes the situation worse

if something is wrong i want to talk about it, deal with it, and be done

my ex was big on the silent treatment **** and honestly i'd never deal with anyone who did that again

i see it even once i'm out

i can handle someone needing a little time to come back and deal with something in a less emotional state of mind, but that's different

it's odd for as much as this transit has been affecting me it hasnt felt negwtive even when bad **** 's happened

i feel better than i have and like self control has been at an all time high in a lot of ways and i'm appreciating it

---

posted January 14, 2020 08:04 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:
If you truly want to change your temperament to a more even keeled and calm one, I would suggest engaging in a combo of these activities and attitudes.

Consistent meditation, taking Ashwagandha herb, a more vegetarian diet, and much time spent out in nature.

Then, the mental attitude and realization that most who hold racist, homophobic, and narrow, separative, and hateful beliefs of all kinds, are often spiritually, children.

When you think of them as like being children, whatever the age of their body, it helps to tolerate their shenanigans more. Most of these are probably trying to grow and mature on a Soul level, but just are towards the beginning of it. Some are also conditioned from an early age as actual children to believe in this crap i.e. familial brainwashing.

I'm not addressing the rare, minority subset of "dark Souls" that are purposely on a path of consciousness devolution but less entropy via control and power. These are twisted, and many of their destinies is true, permanent Soul death. They are sort of metaphorically like the "Sith lords" of Star Wars.

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Yes to meditation and acts of affirmation.
Yes to spending time outdoors.
Yes to vegetarianism

I fear if i take the ashwagandha herb capsules,I may grow dependent on them. But i will take note.

I have heard of "Child souls" -regardless of the age/body they come in. And souls that are "Old" in a likewise way.

I didn't know however that there are souls that are meant for doom. No light of love can modify them as they turn away from it?

My Grandma used to say that there are those born and are not created by the heavens. I used to find that odd ;"are there people out there who really want to doom themselves knowingly?"

posted January 14, 2020 10:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Yes to meditation and acts of affirmation.
Yes to spending time outdoors.
Yes to vegetarianism

I fear if i take the ashwagandha herb capsules,I may grow dependent on them. But i will take note.

I have heard of "Child souls" -regardless of the age/body they come in. And souls that are "Old" in a likewise way.

I didn't know however that there are souls that are meant for doom. No light of love can modify them as they turn away from it?

My Grandma used to say that there are those born and are not created by the heavens. I used to find that odd ;"are there people out there who really want to doom themselves knowingly?"

Thank you for that.

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I suppose it's possible that one could get overly dependent on the herb, and agreed, if that is the case, it would not be well. I take it cyclically (not every day). I have a rather mild/pleasant temperament despite having Leo Rising, but my job can be stressful both in the specifics and in the general, so I usually, but don't always, take it on the days that I work. It's a subtle influence, but also definitely noticeable (which, for all I know, may be partly placebo). For self, it's also part of my health regimen.

Interestingly, that particular herb is known to increase free testosterone in the body, and yet it is also known for a calming and anti-depressant like affect. I probably wouldn't take it if I already had unusually high levels of test going on though. But it's generally known as a system balancer and adaptogen. Meaning, one could have too much or too little activity of a gland etc, and it will help to balance and correct the extreme.

As to the dark Souls, it's not like they have to experience this destruction, it's just that there is a rare, small minority of Souls that become so stubborn and so fixed in their negative ways, that no amount of outside help ever reaches them (and believe me, helpers try and try even to the end).

The good news is that it's pretty rare of a process/event. And really, in most cases, it's them doing it to themselves. Spiritual will (sometimes called "freewill" which I find a bit of a misnomer) is a double edged sword in that way.

Tom Campbell is one of the sources that I respect more than not (this doesn't mean that I agree with everything he says--this is extremely rare to non existent) that talks about such things.

Whereas Edgar Cayce's guidance and Bruce Moen talks about the Souls doing it to themselves, Tom Campbell talks about this "big cheese" character (the title is suppose to be humorous) who is sort of the leader/facilitator of this larger system and who was invested with a certain amount of power and authority by someone or something metaphorically above himself (Tom says he gets a primary "male" like vibe from this big cheese character), and who can and has done this to particularly hard case, repeat offender dark Souls.

Tom has a free book on the I-net called "My Big TOE" (TOE being an acronym of theory of everything). Tom was educated as a physicist, though didn't fully finish his degree due to being recruited by an employer. In his younger college years, he became involved with Robert A. Monroe and Monroe's experiments and searching to find better ways of helping people to know that they too are "more than their bodies" (their research and experiments eventually led to focusing most on audio binaural beat tech back in the 70's). Tom became one of Bob's volunteers and "explorers" (of consciousness and the nonphysical).

Tom initially had a very "left brain" and skeptical type attunement, but he was also a natural at the psychic, OBE, deep meditation, guidance communication, etc type stuff.

He also has a lot of lectures, interviews, etc online on Youtube, as well as a forum, which last I checked he barely ever communicates on anymore. But, he is a typical Sag Sun in that once you get him talking, sometimes he won't shut up, though at other times he seems rather reserved and reticent (he has Cap Mercury opposed Cancer Saturn).

He is definitely an unusually mature, service oriented Soul, but I have been a bit turned off by how much his followers put him on a guru pedestal and seem to think in a very strong and fixed way that he is a living, breathing, full master. Tom doesn't actively encourage this, but from what I can tell he doesn't necessarily actively discourage it either other than telling people that it's very important to be both skeptical and open minded in general, including to himself.

(I don't know what his Rising Sign is, but I suspect it's Aquarius from the combo of his looks and temperament).

P.S., though 3 different sources that I respect more than not talk about this, I don't take their word for it and have asked my own guidance directly about the issue and it's been confirmed that it is something than can and does sometimes happen. I have not specifically gotten guidance about a "big cheese" type authority figure doing this though. Interestingly Tom says that there was a sort of changing in the guard "recently" (recently can be very relative) from one big cheese to another. The old big cheese wanted to retire or move onto to bigger things and so another took his place. I have no idea why, and don't know if it's true, but for some reason, I've gotten the sense that the old big cheese was the one we know as the Buddha. Tom has hinted that the old big cheese was a little over passive and the new big cheese is a little more active/take charge, which so far, has been a good thing.

posted January 21, 2020 02:17 AM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
^^Thank you for that. I re-read it thrice. Very interesting. I would like to delve deeper into the ideas mentioned. Soon though

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