Author
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Topic: Why am I so shy, reserved, and almost socially awkward? Idk what’s wrong with me,
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Leo-Cancer98 Knowflake Posts: 1157 From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada Registered: Nov 2014
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posted March 06, 2020 11:01 PM
Aside from my best friend and bf, I’m very quiet and nervous. I can barely start a conversation, I feel like such a loser. You wouldn’t expect this from a 4th Year university student. I have 2 years left, and if I don’t “fix” myself soon, I fear I’ll miss out on that “great college experience” most people between 20-24 rave about. ------------------ Cancer Rising 2nd House Leo Sun 3rd House Leo Mercury 6th House Sagittarius Moon & Pluto 1st House Cancer Venus & Mars 9th/10th House Pisces Jupiter conjunct MC. 11th House Taurus Saturn. IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness Knowflake Posts: 7935 From: Registered: Aug 2012
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posted March 07, 2020 12:07 AM
Just jump in, lolz, put that Venus conjunct Mars on display girl, people will come I'm sure, at first you might fumble a "lot", but slowly that smile will bring in people I'm sure..IP: Logged |
SecretGeek Knowflake Posts: 1839 From: Dallas Registered: Nov 2013
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posted March 07, 2020 12:10 AM
Just be yourself.Don't be like the other kids. Humility is hot. Shy is hot. Work on self-confidence. We all have areas to work on. IP: Logged |
Graham Knowflake Posts: 1069 From: Registered: Apr 2019
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posted March 07, 2020 12:41 AM
Where is natal Chiron/"the gift that keeps on giving"? ... What aspects does it make? ... Who inflicted its wound during childhood? ... And how? IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness Knowflake Posts: 7935 From: Registered: Aug 2012
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posted March 07, 2020 12:45 AM
^ lolMercury is aspecting Saturn right? IP: Logged |
Aries23Degrees Knowflake Posts: 8459 From: South Africa Registered: Dec 2012
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posted March 07, 2020 12:47 AM
11th house SaturnIP: Logged |
Leo-Cancer98 Knowflake Posts: 1157 From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada Registered: Nov 2014
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posted March 07, 2020 08:56 AM
quote: Originally posted by anonymidarkness: ^ lolMercury is aspecting Saturn right?
Yeah, I have Mercury trine Saturn. Why? IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness Knowflake Posts: 7935 From: Registered: Aug 2012
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posted March 07, 2020 09:05 AM
Ahh I thought it'd be a square, can bring some communication "problems" from what I've seenIP: Logged |
charlie Knowflake Posts: 4957 From: Registered: Jun 2012
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posted March 07, 2020 10:14 AM
I have a Leo Saturn 11H (wide conjunction to Mercury )and I had a period between age 15-25 where I was SOO socially awkward but then I “grew out” of it. Don’t fret and let it get to you! You’re a late bloomer that’s all! Saturn will reward you later, when you most need it. IP: Logged |
teasel Knowflake Posts: 14401 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 07, 2020 02:11 PM
This has been me, since I was bullied a lot, although I’m better than I used to be. I have Chiron conjunct my sun and mercury (Graham). IP: Logged |
Kannon McAfee Moderator Posts: 4345 From: Portland, OR - USA Registered: Oct 2011
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posted March 07, 2020 03:30 PM
I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Maybe you're seeking greater confidence to reach out, but that is partly a matter of trusting yourself more and thinking of yourself as a gift to the world who others will appreciate. And you may just be conserving your energies for what matters most -- your priorities: education, boyfriend, best friend. Nothing wrong with that. You don't have to have more friends, at least not now, if that would place too much demand on your time/energy. It sounds to me like you're assuming there's some benefit to having other people's college experience. Just have the college experience that you need. Are you living a balanced life? Are you growing? College students often go out of their way to create an artificial sensation of freedom of being an adult but behave like reckless children in doing so. What's the point? You're much more free if you're not envious of someone else's college experience. Let them rave. Be who you are. ------------------ Soul Stars Astrology by The Declinations Guy Expert birth chart rectification The birth chart is just a starting place. Free will aligned with Unconditional Love does the finishing work. IP: Logged |
DualGemV2 Knowflake Posts: 780 From: Toronto, Ontario Registered: Aug 2016
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posted March 07, 2020 04:32 PM
In my experience introverts are smarter then extroverts and its better just to be who you are.Besides York is a commuter school...so I wouldn't expect the "college experience" to be that great. If it was Western or McGill I could see the "university experience thing" but not York. Its much better to have that experience once your in Grad school and surrounded by a couple serious peers in your field that think the same way as you. My Planets ========================================= ☉‘ ♊, ☽ ♈, ASC ♑, ☿ ♊, ¡÷ ♉, ¡ö ♋ , ♃ ♒, ♄ ♏, ♅ ♐, ♆ ♑ IP: Logged |
hypatia238 Moderator Posts: 13810 From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 08, 2020 02:45 PM
Well one thing I have noticed here is that when you start a thread you rarely engage in a conversation with people that respond to the thread, that is a great start to hone your social skills. A lot of Man are responding to this thread and saying you are perfect already which is sweet don't get me wrong and thank you guys but from a female perspective I have noticed this about you and it comes off like you don't care truly about connecting and developing bonds, is very linear, you post something and then rarely reply to any of the replies, there is no back and forth, you have to nourish the connections, give people compliments, engage occasionally in small talk and I don't like small talk either but is part of been friendly and showing others you think of them and care and are noticing them, paying attention, that you SEE them. Do you start conversations with others here and participate in their threads? This thread is a great example of what I am talking about, your pattern is you usually respond to one person and is typically a super brief response. I am glad you posted this thread bc I feel that is already a step in the right direction, showing your vulnerable side to others is also a big way you develop deeper bonds with others and is very refreshing seeing this side of you. Notice how everyone wants to help and showed kindness. I am trying to offer something different from the other replies so took a different route. I am personally as well in this long journey of developing my social skills, I have saturn right on my 11H cusp and pluto in the 10th ruling my 11H, it doesn't come off as naturally to me like some capricorns or libras but my saggy riser optimism helps me in this area, I lean on it to help me connect with others. Your cancer placements should help you with this A LOT!!!!! but if you don't own your cancer side bc of socialization you are missing out, cancers have a lot going on. IP: Logged |
hypatia238 Moderator Posts: 13810 From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 08, 2020 03:11 PM
quote: Originally posted by charlie: I have a Leo Saturn 11H (wide conjunction to Mercury )and I had a period between age 15-25 where I was SOO socially awkward but then I “grew out” of it. Don’t fret and let it get to you! You’re a late bloomer that’s all! Saturn will reward you later, when you most need it.
I love the way you are framing it and that it comes from your own personal experience very SUN in cancer with moon Cappy! I like the focus on that you grew out of it and that saturn helps you develop those skills over time. IP: Logged |
hypatia238 Moderator Posts: 13810 From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 08, 2020 03:14 PM
Girl Talk to us MORE! Practice those conversation skills with us here, I would truly love that IP: Logged |
Leo-Cancer98 Knowflake Posts: 1157 From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada Registered: Nov 2014
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posted March 08, 2020 05:51 PM
quote: Originally posted by hypatia238: Well one thing I have noticed here is that when you start a thread you rarely engage in a conversation with people that respond to the thread, that is a great start to hone your social skills. A lot of Man are responding to this thread and saying you are perfect already which is sweet don't get me wrong and thank you guys but from a female perspective I have noticed this about you and it comes off like you don't care truly about connecting and developing bonds, is very linear, you post something and then rarely reply to any of the replies, there is no back and forth, you have to nourish the connections, give people compliments, engage occasionally in small talk and I don't like small talk either but is part of been friendly and showing others you think of them and care and are noticing them, paying attention, that you SEE them. Do you start conversations with others here and participate in their threads? This thread is a great example of what I am talking about, your pattern is you usually respond to one person and is typically a super brief response. I am glad you posted this thread bc I feel that is already a step in the right direction, showing your vulnerable side to others is also a big way you develop deeper bonds with others and is very refreshing seeing this side of you. Notice how everyone wants to help and showed kindness. I am trying to offer something different from the other replies so took a different route. I am personally as well in this long journey of developing my social skills, I have saturn right on my 11H cusp and pluto in the 10th ruling my 11H, it doesn't come off as naturally to me like some capricorns or libras but my saggy riser optimism helps me in this area, I lean on it to help me connect with others. Your cancer placements should help you with this A LOT!!!!! but if you don't own your cancer side bc of socialization you are missing out, cancers have a lot going on.
To be honest, I’m quite busy. I don’t have time to respond to everyone who comments on my posts. I ask questions to hear peoples’ opinions & advice IP: Logged |
Charmander1761 Newflake Posts: 23 From: Registered: Feb 2020
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posted March 12, 2020 03:26 PM
Teasel, Ive got chiron conjunct sun and venus. My sun is also opposed by saturn. I would consider myself a hermit. I think it's pretty common for chiron conj. sun people to isolate themselves when they have low self esteem. IP: Logged |
Charmander1761 Newflake Posts: 23 From: Registered: Feb 2020
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posted March 12, 2020 03:36 PM
After a second look, saturn in Pisces is in my 11th house. No wonder I don't get out much... IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer Knowflake Posts: 908 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 12, 2020 08:21 PM
The key to socializing if you're anxious is just keep asking the person questions, anything you can think of, listen to them, validate them, ask follow up questions.This is a great crutch when you're nervous and dont' know what to do, employed by people the world over for centuries to tolerate social anxiety. Questions questions questions. Getting yourself focused on them and not your own anxiety will break the cycle. IP: Logged |
Charmander1761 Newflake Posts: 23 From: Registered: Feb 2020
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posted March 13, 2020 09:50 AM
BlueRoamer, How did you know that's my secret trick? Except my ice breakers tend to catch people off guard. "What is the epitome of comfort for you?" "If you could put any two animals together, what would you create?" "If you could make the moon any flavor of ice cream, what would you choose?" When I get REALLY anxious, then I start complimenting people...and then i run away. Hahaha! IP: Logged |
Leo-Cancer98 Knowflake Posts: 1157 From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada Registered: Nov 2014
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posted April 20, 2020 09:50 PM
quote: Originally posted by Charmander1761: After a second look, saturn in Pisces is in my 11th house. No wonder I don't get out much...
How long have you lived with this placement? Are you in your 20s or 30s? I heard there’s usually big improvements at year 24, 28 & 32. ------------------ Cancer Rising 2nd House Leo Sun 3rd House Leo Mercury 6th House Sagittarius Moon & Pluto 1st House Cancer Venus & Mars 9th House Pisces Jupiter conjunct MC. IP: Logged |
Leo-Cancer98 Knowflake Posts: 1157 From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada Registered: Nov 2014
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posted April 20, 2020 09:51 PM
quote: Originally posted by Charmander1761: After a second look, saturn in Pisces is in my 11th house. No wonder I don't get out much...
How long have you lived with this placement? Are you in your 20s or 30s? I heard there’s usually big improvements at year 24, 28 & 32. ------------------ Cancer Rising 2nd House Leo Sun 3rd House Leo Mercury 6th House Sagittarius Moon & Pluto 1st House Cancer Venus & Mars 9th House Pisces Jupiter conjunct MC. IP: Logged |
Solar_Leo_Queen Knowflake Posts: 3222 From: Planet Earth Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 20, 2020 11:15 PM
The "great college experience" is just a distraction from problems and the pressures of being finally an adult imo. I have Saturn in the 11th like you. Never felt like I belonged and I always hated being around crowds or random people. I tried to do all that college stuff in my first year of uni. Ended up seeing the reality of it. Fun but meaningless unless the people you surround yourself with are good people. Then you end up taking on the bad habits of the people you party with, thus causing you to get held back in your other relationships and career. 11th house Saturn is difficult because we cannot just simply deal with superficial surface-level interpersonal relationships. You can try it if you'd like, but you're already in your 4th year. I don't think it's wise to hang out with people whose bad habits are gonna hold you back once you step into the real world. It's okay to not have that college experience. There's a lot more people who have never had it vs the people who actually had it. There is nothing wrong with you, nothing to fix. IP: Logged |
vansio Knowflake Posts: 1090 From: on the outskirts of Delphi Registered: Dec 2017
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posted April 20, 2020 11:35 PM
@solar_leo_queen 👏🏽👏🏽IP: Logged |
viviette Knowflake Posts: 128 From: FR Registered: Feb 2018
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posted April 23, 2020 05:33 PM
If you’re anything like me, maybe you’re conscious of your Cancer rising, socially. With new acquaintances I can be outgoing (Leo), entertain non stop and make jokes but I still get told I am timid. It drives me up the wall and so I don’t always bother to rev up because I know I will be seen as a homely Cancerian regardless of what I do. Maybe you’re aware of how others perceive you and it influences you to behave in a Cancerian way. quote: Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98: Aside from my best friend and bf, I’m very quiet and nervous. I can barely hold a conversation, I feel like such a loser. You wouldn’t expect this from a 4th Year university student. I have 2 years left, and if I don’t “fix” myself soon, I fear I’ll miss out on that “great college experience” most people between 20-24 rave about.
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