posted August 17, 2020 06:55 PM            

New Moon in Leo 26'35

this one is making some happy aspects to my big 3 (moon in aries 26'34) plus mercury and I feel fortunate to be able to perceive light in the midst of this unending chaos...

really need to ground and open up to the love available. we all have access to it

as retro saturn and pluto square my moon and retro mars conjuncts it
while uranus keeps conjuncting my MC and opposing my Venus
and neptune continues to dominate my life by squaring my sun/mercury from the 8H

i've gotten really into dissolution and dissolving.
when you feel like you're drowning
dissolve yourself into the water

drowning in a tidal wave?
you ARE the ocean

dissolve fear
dissolve burdens
dissolve resentment

and ground, get into the sun if you can

especially if you wake up every day to feeling like everything matters less and less

like me, i woke up today thinking, yay, nothing matters again today. (even though there is so much outside myself that matters)

waking up to nothing? you are free to fill the void. it's a blessing

we are all free to fill the void with what we love
before it fills us with whatever may come our way

^_~
just my feels

posted August 18, 2020 09:28 PM            

just realized it's square to my Scorpio Pluto at 28 Deg. opposite my Taurus BML at 27 degrees in the 10th.
and sorta conjunct my Mars at 0 Virgo in the 1st.
makes sense

how's everyone doing tonight?
try to enjoy this period

posted August 18, 2020 10:11 PM            

This trines my Aries Sun and opposes my Aquarius Mars.
I feel this Leo energy in the late degrees can cheer up my Sun sign that has been through the ringer with all the Capricorn action.
I have also had to put wedding planning on hold with work and college. I can now start to physically(Mars) start checking out wedding venues.

Leo in the late degrees does not ruffle any of my Scorpio feathers. :P

I am intrigued by your sunset rituals Selinte.

posted August 19, 2020 04:55 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
I feel good tonight. It's in my 10th house, conjunct Eros, trine my Ceres/Chiron/Sun (Mars and Lilith conjunct).

Oh, I'm finally cooking some soup, and I'm meal-prepping, just a little bit. Frozen chips made me sick last night, and half a sandwich did the same thing this afternoon, so I'm just using a few more things up, and making sure I have something when I have an appetite, or I'll put them in the freezer.

---

glad youre doing good, sucks about your stomach though

mine has been ****** tonight too, which kind of sucked but it hasnt killed my high so it's all good

i had literally just put the tabs on my tongue when i started to feel nauseous as **** and just thought "well this is terrible timing"

id feel sick either way and the acid definitely makes that more pleasant, but it's a much better high when you feel better

posted August 19, 2020 05:16 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hikaru29:
The new Moon brought me a strange dream. I dreamt that I was in my wedding dress but without my shoes so I was barefoot. The groom didn't show up or respond to my text which made me anxious as this was very unlike him so I knew something must've happened. I cried towards the end of the dream...

---

weddings can be tied to death in dreams

found that out because i had this dream about a lady who was dying of congestive heart failure on the day she died

it was at my job but it was on a day off, and i knew immediately after i woke up she was dead no question

i found out about it 2 days later because i worked with dementia patients the next day

it was somewhere between bizarre and unsurprising to see her name on a board with the date of my dream next to it

but anyway i found the wedding imagery puzzling because her wedding dress was there and she had a veil over her face

lying in a desert surrounded by vultures at sunset

posted August 19, 2020 05:24 AM            

hope it just stays a dream

posted August 19, 2020 09:09 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i found the wedding imagery puzzling because her wedding dress was there and she had a veil over her face

lying in a desert surrounded by vultures at sunset

so i looked into weddings in dreams and oddly enough the imagery is tied to death

---

Your dream has all the symbolisms of death: veil over face, lying in the desert surrounded by vultures, sunset...

Mine is greater detail was that I was in Bali shopping for my wedding stuff. My guy was supposed to fly over and join me. My relatives were with me and they asked: "Why don't you just get married here?" and I replied: "Ok, why not?" so I text my guy to tell him about the plan but he didn't respond to my messages. As the wedding was about to begin, I started to feel anxious. I thought maybe he stood me up, however, it was very unlike him to do that so I thought maybe something happened to him and I started crying. At this point, one of my relatives started to usher me to the wedding event. I then realised that I had my wedding dress on. It was a beautiful ivory gown and I looked gorgeous, but I was sad because I was missing my groom. As I was walking to the event ground, I realised that I was barefoot...I didn't know where my wedding shoes were (but that didn't bother me much as I was more concerned with not being able to reach him).

posted August 19, 2020 02:52 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
glad youre doing good, sucks about your stomach though

mine has been ****** tonight too, which kind of sucked but it hasnt killed my high so it's all good

i had literally just put the tabs on my tongue when i started to feel nauseous as **** and just thought "well this is terrible timing"

id feel sick either way and the acid definitely makes that more pleasant, but it's a much better high when you feel better

---

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, when I take anything like Tylenol, or ZZZquil, I make sure I'm not longer getting sick, because I know once I can drink some water, without getting sick, I'll be okay, and it will stay down.

posted August 19, 2020 05:02 PM            

Interestingly, a few weeks ago I bit the bullet and found a therapist to get me beyond the anger that's resulted from the last few years (bullying, death of a parent, unemployment, loss of friends/career, aftermath of abusive relationship etc).

We've clicked really well - my Leo moon feels safe and we use laughter to reset - so far so good.

After my second session, I started getting flashbacks to a trauma from 20 years back. Completely caught me off guard. All of last week, I was a mess - appetite gone, stomach problems, not sleeping, exhausted - while my son's battled it out internally as to whether or not we should go there.

At yesterday's session, I was able to reference 'the box' the memory has been stored in, and was able to share some very vague information about it. It was really difficult as I've never properly talked about it with anyone. We've agreed to keep an eye on it and come back to it later.

After the session, I'm feeling so much better. I was worried I'd be all over the shop like last week, but I'm actually feeling a little freer.

posted August 19, 2020 08:35 PM            

Mercury sextile Moon.

Everything just flows naturally into my head.

I left my upper year math classes to the end and everything just seams to finally click.

All the years of doing Stats, Algebra, Calculus, Discrete Math and Proof techniques..it all just comes together.

My Planets
=========================================
☉‘ ♊, ☽ ♈, ASC ♑, ☿ ♊, ¡÷ ♉, ¡ö ♋ , ♃ ♒, ♄ ♏, ♅ ♐, ♆ ♑

posted August 19, 2020 10:27 PM            

The house is on the way to a restaurant that has ducks outside, living on/around a pond. They have machines full of food for them. I finally found the house again, on the site, and the owner had commented four years ago. She left her blog address. I've been skimming through it, and it's brought up all of those feelings about the house. Now I want to do something with ours. I need to get back to clearing and cleaning a few of the rooms. I'm feeling creative, and relaxed.

posted August 20, 2020 03:54 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
glad youre doing good, sucks about your stomach though

mine has been ****** tonight too, which kind of sucked but it hasnt killed my high so it's all good

i had literally just put the tabs on my tongue when i started to feel nauseous as **** and just thought "well this is terrible timing"

id feel sick either way and the acid definitely makes that more pleasant, but it's a much better high when you feel better

---

posted August 21, 2020 11:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Your dream has all the symbolisms of death: veil over face, lying in the desert surrounded by vultures, sunset...

Mine is greater detail was that I was in Bali shopping for my wedding stuff. My guy was supposed to fly over and join me. My relatives were with me and they asked: "Why don't you just get married here?" and I replied: "Ok, why not?" so I text my guy to tell him about the plan but he didn't respond to my messages. As the wedding was about to begin, I started to feel anxious. I thought maybe he stood me up, however, it was very unlike him to do that so I thought maybe something happened to him and I started crying. At this point, one of my relatives started to usher me to the wedding event. I then realised that I had my wedding dress on. It was a beautiful ivory gown and I looked gorgeous, but I was sad because I was missing my groom. As I was walking to the event ground, I realised that I was barefoot...I didn't know where my wedding shoes were (but that didn't bother me much as I was more concerned with not being able to reach him).

I read up on the interpretations and it says that the wedding indicates commitment on my part but I might be feeling insecure about his feelings. Being barefoot also shows a lack of confidence. All these seem more relatable to how I feel in reality.

---

posted August 21, 2020 11:44 PM            

thanks for the recipe though i'm weird with soup though i like certain kinds but most of it is gross to me for some reason

posted August 25, 2020 07:08 PM            

i keep vacillating between being flowing productively with making music and crying hysterically at the mere sight of the moon thinking about how fleeting and futile it all is. i think about suicide every day, just in the sense of 'i don't want to be part of this world.'
but i am with someone i love who loves me dearly and everything's okay i guess. just extreme isolation because i'm on the opposite side of the country from my entire family and i feel like my existence goes into a void that makes no difference. which isn't so far removed from how i usually think, but it makes me sad this time. probably because the world is so ****** up. it's like a heavy subconscious sadness that the sunsets and beautiful moon and nature walks just bring out of me. i start crying over how beautiful his eyes are at the end of sunset and i can't stop.
lmao
but i'm making a ton of progress creatively, sooo.... whaveter

also getting low key deep into another benzo addiction on the DL

i've lost ten pounds and i was only 110 to begin with lol

but yeah my choices i have the power yadda yadda yadda. just TOO MANY FEELS for this aries moon square neptune.

posted August 25, 2020 10:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
@teasel

thanks for the recipe though i'm weird with soup though i like certain kinds but most of it is gross to me for some reason

hopefully you're feeling better

---

posted August 31, 2020 12:47 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
Selenite, where is your Sun?

I think Mars square Saturn is supposed to be affecting all of us in some way, so that might be part of it, too. Mars is on my Sun, and I mostly feel good - I didn't think that I would. Saturn is slowly moving in to square it, Pluto is still square (but moving away for now) - your Moon must be conjunct my Sun.

---

posted August 31, 2020 12:51 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
Selenite, where is your Sun?

I think Mars square Saturn is supposed to be affecting all of us in some way, so that might be part of it, too. Mars is on my Sun, and I mostly feel good - I didn't think that I would. Saturn is slowly moving in to square it, Pluto is still square (but moving away for now) - your Moon must be conjunct my Sun.

---

posted August 31, 2020 06:21 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Your dream has all the symbolisms of death: veil over face, lying in the desert surrounded by vultures, sunset...

Mine is greater detail was that I was in Bali shopping for my wedding stuff. My guy was supposed to fly over and join me. My relatives were with me and they asked: "Why don't you just get married here?" and I replied: "Ok, why not?" so I text my guy to tell him about the plan but he didn't respond to my messages. As the wedding was about to begin, I started to feel anxious. I thought maybe he stood me up, however, it was very unlike him to do that so I thought maybe something happened to him and I started crying. At this point, one of my relatives started to usher me to the wedding event. I then realised that I had my wedding dress on. It was a beautiful ivory gown and I looked gorgeous, but I was sad because I was missing my groom. As I was walking to the event ground, I realised that I was barefoot...I didn't know where my wedding shoes were (but that didn't bother me much as I was more concerned with not being able to reach him).

I read up on the interpretations and it says that the wedding indicates commitment on my part but I might be feeling insecure about his feelings. Being barefoot also shows a lack of confidence. All these seem more relatable to how I feel in reality.

---

To me it feels like your change in course of direction (marrying right then and there metaphorically AKA having your mind set on a certain path for the both of you) affected the continuity of the relationship (no shoes = no direction).