posted July 21, 2021 09:19 AM            

I'm over the hump with this transit.

Fall 2019-Feb 2020 was the worst of it though....only because so much was in Capricorn that year.(especially Pluto and Saturn!) My Aries Sun felt so ganged up on. I cried at work one day.
And I think I was pushed so much to my limit that I got really sick. I sometimes wonder if I had Covid before it was found here. Because I had a hard time stomaching coffee after my fever broke. I was still treated like crap by boss, as soon as I came back. I did start to learn how to work with my boss better before the schools closed down. But oh my gosh the guilt was so real for being relieved that I did not have to work anymore.

Things got better by March though. I got engaged that Month! I could just be left the eff alone most of the time thanks to the shut down. I basically only left to step in for my nieces and nephew. I ended up nannying for them way more hours than I first agreed. (other nanny quit for valid covid reasons)

I finished college by August!

I feel like this transit is like: It's always going to be somebody.

I'll have to see when exactly this transit began for me, but boundaries has been a big theme for me.

I went from being an overworked assistant teacher to the preschool teacher taking college courses in their free time.
So people could not have the same expectations of me.

I have my own life and career. Stop asking me to be a glorified baby sitter in my "free time"

With this square transit I feel like "it's always somebody trying my life" I've felt this since 2015. And it really peaked in 2016-18 and then of course the dates I mentioned above.

When my boss and I worked out our differences. That's when my neighbor below grandkid's where getting bigger. And the lack of structure and discipline really started to escalade. I'm talking running, banging, screaming on work week nights. I had to tell them their $h!t stinks.

It did not go well at all. Maintenance talked to her a bit. I called CPS on the kids and they were not sleeping over there for a month after. I found out their kids were already in the system too. (Sometimes parents lie to case workers about raising them. And then after they see their case worker, they dump them back at grandparents again)
She told me to talk to her first before complaining to apt. management. I did. And then she told me "Don't tell me what to do!"
So that's when I got law enforcement involved. The second time I did this. She had a full on tantrum. Was banging walls her ceiling, cussing me out.
So I moved else where two months ago.

For wedding planning. I had to put my foot down that I am doing my wedding my way. I have no problem doing this with my family. But my future in laws too was sort of new territory. It was very hard to be around my in-laws from June 2020-Apr 2021. Mother in law is an Aries too. LOL

What I mainly deal with now is
I've known my husband and his family for 6 years. I started to pick up on his oldest sister having some kind of issue with me. But I did not dare say anything. Because what is that even going to accomplish. And when it comes to in-laws you want to be 100 percent sure, before making such an accusation. BUT I WAS BOTTLING.
My inner monologue was like
"Did anyone else see her roll her eyes, when husband includes me in the conversation? Did anyone else think that's weird? No one else thought that was rude? Does anyone else notice she is meaner to me when we are not around their mom? When she does something nice for me, it seems like she doesn't enjoy it"
There is so much expectation for us to vibe with each other since I am a part of this family, and we are 5 months apart in age.
Husband is so oblivious too. OMG

But then last year, I snapped. And I blew up my husband's phone and basically told him everything.

Sometimes I try to tone down my own shine. Because she is so insecure, and I think it will keep her from subtly lashing out to me.
But after her disrespect at my wedding rehearsal....I was like she can find out now! I do not give her power anymore to make me feel self conscious.

I will be affectionate with my husband in front of her.
I do not feel bad that I get along better with her husband than her. And I even danced with him at my wedding.

And now that my husband is aware, he can tell she has an issue with me, and he shut her disrespect down when I went to the bathroom.

posted July 21, 2021 04:53 PM            

It's a period of testing of your ego and purposes (Sun), the effectiveness of your thinking and overall mentality (Merc), and your values, priorities, and understanding of love (Venus). All of us who live for a few decades go through at least the square or opposition to those natals.

Such transits are not predictors of outcomes or particular circumstances. It is not Pluto's aim to simply destroy. Think of it in terms of remodeling. You sometimes have to knock out a wall before you can do the creative work of making the space what you want it to be. The loss of the wall is a loss of something you don't need anyway.

These transits mark a period of a few years for each planetary transit in which you are challenged to go deeper and better understand the underlying dynamics of your psyche. Those who just get through it and survive gain little or nothing. Those who press inward with a willingness to change and to learn will have the best results of an empowering nature.

posted July 22, 2021 04:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
I've been through Pluto opposite all those planets. The squares are intensified internally and externally.

It's a period of testing of your ego and purposes (Sun), the effectiveness of your thinking and overall mentality (Merc), and your values, priorities, and understanding of love (Venus). All of us who live for a few decades go through at least the square or opposition to those natals.

[b]Such transits are not predictors of outcomes or particular circumstances. It is not Pluto's aim to simply destroy. Think of it in terms of remodeling. You sometimes have to knock out a wall before you can do the creative work of making the space what you want it to be. The loss of the wall is a loss of something you don't need anyway.

These transits mark a period of a few years for each planetary transit in which you are challenged to go deeper and better understand the underlying dynamics of your psyche. Those who just get through it and survive gain little or nothing. Those who press inward with a willingness to change and to learn will have the best results of an empowering nature.

[/B]

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posted July 25, 2021 12:24 AM            

It is Saturn and Pluto that most often correlate with these karmic patterns.

posted July 27, 2021 05:31 PM            

I read somewhere that for a Pluto square Sun transit people don't get through this transit with out being "battered" in someway.

For death, I lost my grandma on my dads side. We were very close. She lived a long healthy life. Lived to be 96. When she died it was my first year of teaching and it was parent teacher conferences. I also had all these deadlines for job and college. I barely got by in my classes that week. I had to write progress reports for 3 year old kids while the rest of my cousins got to post pictures of Grandma on FB. I really felt like with the timing of my grandma's death with all my deadlines like I had to be a robot and that there is no place in the world for feelings.

Luckily I could do half days with conferences. People understood.

My family cat also had to be put down in the summer of 2018. This was when I was starting to look for a new job too.

Sometimes my now husband would say I think you are still upset about your cat/grandma if I got randomly emotional.

posted July 27, 2021 07:06 PM            

a bit hard to put it all into words these days.. just floating around in this dark matter, in the in between, without much form. the square to mercury stands out a bit. transmutation of a mind that gets stuck is exhausting.. been changing all my life and i can say this is some stuff i was not ready for. sometimes i dont know if im going to make it. difficult situations come and go.. much trial and error with revisions. i never know if i am in alignment or not until after. when i try to form something tangible or concrete, it doesnt hold.

i am currently involved in a plutonian type of human relationship that mirrors this formlessness. although painful in the shadow work sense, there is an underlying divinity to it.

posted August 15, 2021 09:01 AM            

My dad left my mom for another woman, after forty years of marriage. I’ve helped take care of my mom, who has many health issues, since I was young. He didn’t say goodbye to me, and I found out after he left that he robbed both me and her of all of our emergency cash. The strongest emotion that I’ve felt in all of this is betrayal…for leaving me to deal with everything, for forcing me to be so tough, for him making me carry not just myself but also my mom through our own resulting depressions. I’ve had to change jobs so I could make more money for both of us, reduce my status as a student from full time to part time, and I just barely passed one of my classes because I struggled to focus on anything but my own emotions. The kind of depression where you have to remind yourself to take a shower but then when you do it, you’re so exhausted and overwhelmed that it takes a while to recover.

It’s also complicated by the fact that our relationship wasn’t great to begin with. He was abusive towards me as a child, and then when he couldn’t be physically abusive anymore, he became cold and distant for most of my childhood and adulthood. Even so, he was always financially reliable for my mother and helped pay the bills, etc. so I overlooked a lot. I had no choice, and he often refused to admit that he did anything wrong, insisting that I was misremembering a lot. I buried a lot of trauma, and all of that is coming to the surface again. I’ve realized that I’m afraid of my own father and what he is capable of and that it’s seriously done a number on my relationships in the past. His current actions have also sent my once-dormant PTSD into overdrive and it is hard to calm that down once it’s awake. It’s one thing to feel weary and paranoid of a stranger that’s done you wrong…it’s entirely different when it’s someone you know and have depended on for such a long time.

There’s my Pluto hard transit. Yes I’m suffering, and I don’t know how anyone moves through such a sh*tty transit and doesn’t hurt a lot. But I also have no choice but to keep moving and keep trying, and that’s probably the toughest part of Pluto. That you have to continue to function while you also grieve.

posted August 16, 2021 10:28 AM            

Reminds me a bit of my step dad. When my Mom was dying of cancer, he cheated on her with her "friend". I think she somehow knew/found out, and it was then that she realized that he hadn't really/truly changed even though he did stop drinking (at least around her).

posted August 16, 2021 09:43 PM            

Then I actually experienced identity theft for round two of this transit.

posted August 16, 2021 10:07 PM            

I couldn't believe my eyes that Pluto rx moved another degree. This shhh again? Two degrees away from my Sun??? Actually I have been feeling more stable than when it was 25 degrees. I feel like I am doing a lot of shadow work right now. I just remind myself that I am over the hump and enjoy it while it lasts because it's going to square my Moon and Pluto when I am in my 40's I believe.

posted August 19, 2021 11:32 AM            

Even when this transit is over, I'll still be dealing with work crap. Because Uranus is opposing my 6th house planets.

But right now I have both of these transits at the same time.

Right now it takes me all day to put on that face I need to put on for my job.