posted July 19, 2022 05:15 AM            

I have Pluto in my 5th and Neptune and Uranus in my 7th House. It’s precaution. Diligence. Most of the lovely and exciting courting phase is all talk.

I avoid too many squares in synastry (one to two total is fine), or any outer planet harsh aspects to Sun/Mercury/Mars/Jupiter in composite, I bounce. Why settle for a fixed amount of selfishness, conflict and instability? No, thanks.

Their own birth chart I’m lenient towards, unless they happen to have an afflicted (especially by sign) Jupiter, Venus and Moon, or markers for serial infidelity in Navamsa, I will also bounce—character flaw that requires remedial measures. But synastry and composite implicates me.

If a man pursuing a date with me won’t offer his birthdata, or gives me side eye for asking, immediate red flag. Arrogance and trust issues (control freak).

At this point in my life, I’m in no position to being “raising” anyone other than a literal child. Who’s got time for that? avoidable with applied wisdom and astrological discretion.

Even the best synastry and composites can fail, so why bother with poor and lacking ones?

The thing is, I know I have a high standard, so I cut to the chase for efficiency (mindful for both of us). If that means I turn down a romance** because of the charts, ok, my loss. I already have Neptune in 7th; it’s all weirdos, loss and sacrifice for me anyway.

**They aren’t sticking around to become friends.

With my tropical Aries Venus, I so avoid anyone with Saturn in Capricorn. I don’t wish to date anyone younger than 1988 for not wanting Saturn to criticize or patronize (square) my attempts to love them… Two birds, one stone: out of my seventh house and goes into my sixth. The nice thing with dating apps is the option to choose age bracket... Good riddance. I’d rather have a Sagittarius Saturn square my Pisces Mercury (could use some harsh structure there) than to my Aries Venus (becomes instead the trine from Sagittarius).

Saturn square to Venus is also bad for Venus person’s finances. My ex still owes me a couple thousand. I’ll never see it. Same goes for two other girlfriends who’s ex’s Saturn squared their Venus; one of them payed in full for his school fees. Ya live, ya learn.

My guy friend’s Saturn is squaring his girlfriend’s Venus and he owes her so much money. 🙈 Hopefully he pays her back before, if they ever, breakup. I was renting his room while they were traveling and he asked me to deposit the rent money to her account because of how much he owes her. He then moved in with her rather than returning to the apartment to save money I guess. I will run from this aspect. Even the most well-meaning person will generate debt(s). People like to think this aspect bodes for longevity, but I’m compelled to believe it perpetuates codependency.

posted July 19, 2022 08:14 AM            

With my ex, we had Mercury harsh mars, both ways, but Jupiter was conjunct each other’s Ascendent. We fought constantly, weekly, for years. This was terrible but we looked like a solid gassed-up couple. Trust the synastry..

Evolving persons seek out harmony, even if that means solitude. Misery seeks company.

Our battles can be picked… through astrology!

posted July 19, 2022 09:52 AM            

True love is not an object meant for display. It’s too tender and sacred. Protect at all costs.

“Good” synastry is abundance of harmonious aspects in relationship houses. Point blank. The planets involved depends on what business you have being together, of course, one’s own natal charts for matching.

I am generally weary of any outer planet synastry, I think these, even if harmonious (though, that’s generational) should NOT be depended on for “positive aspect” count. Say, two people who have flowing Sun-Neptune positions by sign natally, and this is reflected in synastry, their personal behavior can perpetuate instinctive delusion (“nothings wrong!” attitude)—as it usually shows up as the square in the composite.

So with that said, the more positive aspects between all inner planets, the better, so long as outer planets aren’t lurking in the dark.

The how or why other couples handle squares.. it’s usually compulsive—the feeling of having to do something. Sometimes what also can happen is the native doesn’t have the harsh aspects natally, so they sometimes seek conflicting energy with others for the action, activity. Conflict is not an “evolved” way to grow; imo could be considered avoidant to externalize one’s problems via interacting with a person. Blame games.

I think harmonious inner planet synastry “fails” better.. like well-wishing and compassion. Less “hard” feelings.

I don’t know whether composites overrule synastry. Anytime I’ve studied them, whenever the synastry is lacking but a hyped Sun-Venus-Mercury in composite, these couples are not as supportive of each other, which would be expected in any genuine partnership. Like, yes they’re a couple, the composite is functioning, but do they actually deeply comprehend each other~reverberate? Are they even compatible?

posted July 20, 2022 09:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
No but once I got into astrology and looked into why things went ape-sh1t, I saw why LOL
But I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t gotten slightly jaded..

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posted July 20, 2022 02:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LilyIris07:
I think she meant put off lol

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At least, I need to try to bring it back to earth, lower expectations. Cannot get too excited with all these Neptune, Uranus and Jupiter.

However, I don’t think I’ve ever met a perfect for me chart. I had chart with many nice things, but Uranus screwed up everything quickly.

posted July 21, 2022 01:23 AM            

As of now, I think it prevented me from growing as a person - avoiding is like avoiding self growth to me.

For example, love bombing - I used to fall for that and believed in their potential. Could be my Neptune in 7th + Venus Aries - now I learn to take my time falling in love because when I'm in a relationship I am devoted (Cap in 7H). It didn't matter if we have good or bad synastries or their natal chart isn't my type. The lesson would keep following me until I learned them.

And the person I was avoiding, had like commitment issue looking chart (or at least that's what appears) end up being my soulmate and we had a strong connection. so! yah! but yes he does have trouble being fully committed so blah. 😅 I say it was worth the connection - I grew a lot from it spiritually and for the first time knowing how to love myself. It sucks but I am grateful at the same time.

posted July 21, 2022 01:55 AM            

There are really some things in synastry that I really don't want to go through again, even if I really like someone. I do believe in growth, but how many difficult synastries do you have to go through lol.

posted July 21, 2022 02:56 AM            

With my 1st bf we’ve Sun-Moon in the same sign on my 7H cusp, Moon-Venus conjunct, Sun-NN conjunct…. But also Mercury square Mars DW. He was smitten on first sight but I wasn’t into it becos he wasn’t really my type. I don’t wanna go into how I ended up dating him but just wanna say I regretted it. He revealed his true colours from the 2nd month into the rs and was constantly horrible to me even as I tried to break away. None of those conjunctions saved the rs.

With my current guy of 4yrs we don’t have the typical conjunctions that are highly touted. Our Sun-Moon square, Sun-Venus square… but we have lotsa trines/sextiles too (Sun trine Sun in sign, Moon sextile Moon, Venus sextile Venus, Mars trine Mars, Moon-Venus trine DW with Neptune in the mix). Our composite is also not fantastic. We have Sun-Mercury-Venus stellium trine Moon which is great but also Pluto squares. When I asked people to read our charts I always get bad reviews… but the truth is our rs deepens over time. We love each other more n more as time goes by. We’re definitely better than what our charts show.

Like you I also prefer harmonious Moons… and also Moon-Venus. They’re really sweet aspects.

posted July 21, 2022 03:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
I’ve never chosen someone for their chart because I don’t think we can fully predict how a rs will turn out.

With my 1st bf we’ve Sun-Moon in the same sign on my 7H cusp, Moon-Venus conjunct, Sun-NN conjunct…. But also Mercury square Mars DW. He was smitten on first sight but I wasn’t into it becos he wasn’t really my type. I don’t wanna go into how I ended up dating him but just wanna say I regretted it. He revealed his true colours from the 2nd month into the rs and was constantly horrible to me even as I tried to break away. None of those conjunctions saved the rs.

With my current guy of 4yrs we don’t have the typical conjunctions that are highly touted. Our Sun-Moon square, Sun-Venus square… but we have lotsa trines/sextiles too (Sun trine Sun in sign, Moon sextile Moon, Venus sextile Venus, Mars trine Mars, Moon-Venus trine DW with Neptune in the mix). Our composite is also not fantastic. We have Sun-Mercury-Venus stellium trine Moon which is great but also Pluto squares. When I asked people to read our charts I always get bad reviews… but the truth is our rs deepens over time. We love each other more n more as time goes by. We’re definitely better than what our charts show.

Like you I also prefer harmonious Moons… and also Moon-Venus. They’re really sweet aspects.

Btw both guys have strong Sag/Neptune in their charts but they turned out to be different.

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Honestly, the second synastry looks better anyway - and I have heard that pluto in the composite can add a little bit of spice to the love stellium. I think moon-venus is lovely too...

posted July 21, 2022 04:21 AM            

It takes time for the ugly of squares/quincunx to show up, and by then people are already some kind of serious commitment (invested). 😬 The classic relationship-issue timeline; “problem-solving” madness after honeymoon period.

One can only hope (or decide) that there are more harmonious aspects than disharmonious, implications. I’m choosing to decide. If the other person wants to make their case about being together, despite my detachment, that’s fair game for consideration. Though rarely are men pursuing a new women with the long game in mind—we’d all be building that legacy with our irresistible crushes by now. Women have a hand in settling.

As an astrologer, at least someone incredibly invested in this craft, I’ll be using it to my/our advantage. If waiting for great compatibility keeps me single for now, so be it, more time to focus on developing myself. Going for gold—a 50 years marriage anniversary someday. A lineage, abundance. My Capricorn DC talking. Capricorn rules gold ;)

I sternly believe one can achieve whatever they put their mind to.

There’s a joke in the Vedic astrology community that westerners (to their detriment) wait until the marriage (already in the relationship) to have their charts matched. Technically we should be seeking this intel the moment someone is even potential, without second-guessing.