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Author
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Topic: Men who would want a housewife
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Belage
Knowflake Posts: 6718
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 03, 2023 10:36 PM
  
quote:
Originally posted by kani:
I didn't see any anti housewife comments per se. It only becomes an issue if the man demands this from his wife and she doesn't want to do it intrinsically. If a woman naturally wants to be a housewife, all power to her. The problem is in my eyes the financial dependence on the husband and that if the marriage doesn't last, many housewives have issues finding a job again since they've been gone from the job market for a long time.
This is 2023, and when people divorce, in most of the states in the US (can't speak for anywhere else) the judge typically split in half the money and assets earned during the marriage==> So the wife gets half. And if she gets the kids for most of the time, she is also awarded child support. As for alimony, I know for a fact that in California, any wife that had been married for 10 years or more gets alimony for life, unless she remarries. Basically, I don't think housewives are financially badly off when a marriage ends. Providing that the man was earning decent money to begin with...
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 170775
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2023 09:32 AM
Bump!IP: Logged |
kani
Knowflake Posts: 1205
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted April 16, 2023 05:52 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Belage:
This is 2023, and when people divorce, in most of the states in the US (can't speak for anywhere else) the judge typically split in half the money and assets earned during the marriage==> So the wife gets half. And if she gets the kids for most of the time, she is also awarded child support. As for alimony, I know for a fact that in California, any wife that had been married for 10 years or more gets alimony for life, unless she remarries. Basically, I don't think housewives are financially badly off when a marriage ends. Providing that the man was earning decent money to begin with...
I live in Germany and it's nothing like that here. So many women fall into financial hardship once the marriage is over if they were housewives during the marriage. Also, child support gets paid only by 25% of fathers in full. 50% of fathers do not pay any child support at all and further 25% don't pay sufficiently so adding to the fact, that she has trouble finding a decent paying job after being out of the job market for so long, she also has the added financial burden of caring for her kids without financial support from the other parent. I have seen it happening so many times and I got warned by older women to always keep my financial independence. Not that I ever had any other plans anyway.
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teasel
Knowflake Posts: 24133
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 16, 2023 10:17 AM
quote:
Originally posted by kani:
I live in Germany and it's nothing like that here. So many women fall into financial hardship once the marriage is over if they were housewives during the marriage. Also, child support gets paid only by 25% of fathers in full. 50% of fathers do not pay any child support at all and further 25% don't pay sufficiently so adding to the fact, that she has trouble finding a decent paying job after being out of the job market for so long, she also has the added financial burden of caring for her kids without financial support from the other parent. I have seen it happening so many times and I got warned by older women to always keep my financial independence. Not that I ever had any other plans anyway.
They do here, as well. It isn’t bright and breezy, with women living off their ex-husbands. IP: Logged |
kani
Knowflake Posts: 1205
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted April 16, 2023 12:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
They do here, as well. It isn’t bright and breezy, with women living off their ex-husbands.
Yeah I thought so, too.
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Belage
Knowflake Posts: 6718
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 17, 2023 11:53 AM
quote:
Originally posted by kani:
I live in Germany and it's nothing like that here. So many women fall into financial hardship once the marriage is over if they were housewives during the marriage. Also, child support gets paid only by 25% of fathers in full. 50% of fathers do not pay any child support at all and further 25% don't pay sufficiently so adding to the fact, that she has trouble finding a decent paying job after being out of the job market for so long, she also has the added financial burden of caring for her kids without financial support from the other parent. I have seen it happening so many times and I got warned by older women to always keep my financial independence. Not that I ever had any other plans anyway.
Again, as I stated, the sentiments and the facts I listed were regarding housewives in the US. I should have added that the US is a nation with Sun, Mercury, Venus and Jupiter in Cancer, a sign that is in general favorable to home, hearth, nurturing and thus housewives by extension. I would suggest you look at the chart of the country you are in. And more importantly, your own chart, the chart of the man you are interested in having a home with... Housewiving is not for everyone, but it is certainly not a bad thing per se.
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kani
Knowflake Posts: 1205
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted April 18, 2023 04:54 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Belage:
Again, as I stated, the sentiments and the facts I listed were regarding housewives in the US. I should have added that the US is a nation with Sun, Mercury, Venus and Jupiter in Cancer, a sign that is in general favorable to home, hearth, nurturing and thus housewives by extension. I would suggest you look at the chart of the country you are in. And more importantly, your own chart, the chart of the man you are interested in having a home with... Housewiving is not for everyone, but it is certainly not a bad thing per se.
There are enough US women who complain about what I wrote. And it doesn't really matter what the US is astrologically when you have really subpar maternity regulations. There is no long paid maternity leave anywhere like there is in Scandinavian countries for example. And the men are more often than not able to get away from paying child support, so I don't know where the "nurturing quality" the sign of Cancer represents comes into play..? IP: Logged |
FairyTells
Newflake Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Apr 2023
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posted April 18, 2023 10:57 AM
Earth moons could. On an emotional level the comfort to them eating home cooked meals and feeling comfort ready when coming home. Sun in Earth be about status maybe. Practical means are so good that a stay at home spouse might look good to others.IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 6718
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2023 07:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by kani:
There are enough US women who complain about what I wrote. And it doesn't really matter what the US is astrologically when you have really subpar maternity regulations. There is no long paid maternity leave anywhere like there is in Scandinavian countries for example. And the men are more often than not able to get away from paying child support, so I don't know where the "nurturing quality" the sign of Cancer represents comes into play..?
Um... ok. And you don't know where the "nurturing quality" of the sign of Cancer represents comes into play... Well, that is basic astrology, and I really do not want to take time to explain it. Maybe someone else will have the patience... IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 24133
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2023 08:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Belage:
Um... ok.And you don't know where the "nurturing quality" of the sign of Cancer represents comes into play... Well, that is basic astrology, and I really do not want to take time to explain it. Maybe someone else will have the patience...
She's right. Republicans are trying to repeal child labour laws. I can't remember if I posted the latest that I saw last night. Letting fourteen-year-olds work six-hour shifts overnight, and 17-year-olds serve alcohol. Things like that. Fourteen years old, and working overnight shifts? Taking away women's rights, the lack of maternity leave, the lack of pre-natal care for a lot of women. I have a friend who had to find a way to get insurance, in order to have pre-natal care for herself and her baby. Plus, abortion care is healthcare. There are places that republicans want to shut down, because they provide things like abortion care, and birth control, but they also help out women like another friend of mine, who found out that she had cancer, when she went to them for a health check-up. IP: Logged |
Librapurr
Knowflake Posts: 2096
From:
Registered: Jul 2019
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posted April 19, 2023 12:27 AM
quote:
Originally posted by kani:
There are enough US women who complain about what I wrote. And it doesn't really matter what the US is astrologically when you have really subpar maternity regulations. There is no long paid maternity leave anywhere like there is in Scandinavian countries for example. And the men are more often than not able to get away from paying child support, so I don't know where the "nurturing quality" the sign of Cancer represents comes into play..?
Yes, maternity regulations are horrible. I was terrified to find out some companies might not give maternity leave at all,
But abortion is illegal in many states now. They want women to give birth and keep going to work. Children should care for themselves. Here’s the nurturing nature of country’s chart. Also, it’s not truth all women get financial support after divorce in US.
Strangely, I have heard the opposite that Germany is more generous with it.
Once we met a woman on a gas station who couldn’t figure out how to fill her car because only her late husband did it before.
It’s a little different story, but that what might happen when you fully depend on someone. It was good she knew how to drive; otherwise, she would be completely lost.
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Belage
Knowflake Posts: 6718
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2023 01:19 AM
Sigh~...I made it clear I was not talking about men who cannot afford to have a housewife. So please spare me the not enough maternity leave, abortion and alladat. That is besides the point here!!!!!
There are plenty of sane reasons why a man of means would want a housewife, instead of a woman who would rather give her time and energy to a job. Leaving your young children to the care of paid strangers while the mother is off to work by choice can be problematic. How many daycare abuse scandals do you need to see before you realize that too many children are abused in daycare and the parents will never know about it because the children do not have the language capacity to report the abuse? Just google "daycare abuse"...
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PlutoWasHere
Knowflake Posts: 834
From: The Nether World
Registered: Mar 2021
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posted April 19, 2023 08:14 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Belage:
Sigh~...I made it clear I was not talking about men who cannot afford to have a housewife. So please spare me the not enough maternity leave, abortion and alladat. That is besides the point here!!!!!
There are plenty of sane reasons why a man of means would want a housewife, instead of a woman who would rather give her time and energy to a job. Leaving your young children to the care of paid strangers while the mother is off to work by choice can be problematic. How many daycare abuse scandals do you need to see before you realize that too many children are abused in daycare and the parents will never know about it because the children do not have the language capacity to report the abuse? Just google "daycare abuse"...
Belage, both the sigh and your opinion are coming off as judgmental. Children are the responsibility of both parents, not just the mother. So instead of claiming it’s dangerous to leave kids in care while “the mother” is off to work, this should be “the parents”. The same with while “the mother” is off to work by choice. It’s not always the father who has the most earning potential and even then it’s a personal choice of both parents not just the mother. You talk about “choice” but having the opportunity to have just one parent work is very limited. It really is the minority. Not only based on income but also the options you have when that person loses their income. It’s like betting on just one horse. That’s risk. The same for divorce, health care and pension. The cost of those risks should also be taken into account (priced) to see if it can actually be afforded to just have one parent work. And all in all it will be only a very select group of people that actually have a “choice”. And these are also usually the people that don’t let their kids go to daycare but can afford a “nanny”. IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 6718
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2023 09:45 AM
quote:
Originally posted by PlutoWasHere:
Belage, both the sigh and your opinion are coming off as judgmental.Children are the responsibility of both parents, not just the mother. So instead of claiming it’s dangerous to leave kids in care while “the mother” is off to work, this should be “the parents”. The same with while “the mother” is off to work by choice. It’s not always the father who has the most earning potential and even then it’s a personal choice of both parents not just the mother. You talk about “choice” but having the opportunity to have just one parent work is very limited. It really is the minority. Not only based on income but also the options you have when that person loses their income. It’s like betting on just one horse. That’s risk. The same for divorce, health care and pension. The cost of those risks should also be taken into account (priced) to see if it can actually be afforded to just have one parent work. And all in all it will be only a very select group of people that actually have a “choice”. And these are also usually the people that don’t let their kids go to daycare but can afford a “nanny”.
The sigh is tiredness that I have to repeat the premises of my argument. Judge me! As for the rest, maybe you should change the title of this thread to better suit your argument. Or start a new thread. The current title is Men who would want a Housewife, not Women who would want a Househusband, or People who would want a Houseperson. This is what we are discussing. And of course, in our current topsy turvy gender role climate, the knifes are coming out for the traditional roles. I am not understanding your beef about my argument on having money and choice. Yeah, money gives you choices, including being able to have your wife be a housewife instead of working to help pay bills. Is that something you did not know about the world, or about having money?
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Belage
Knowflake Posts: 6718
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2023 10:25 AM
I looked back at my original statements, and I realize I had not made it clear enough that I thought the man has to make enough money to afford a housewife. I did say something about the man "making decent money to begin with", but I realize that did not register. So let me say it loud and clear: The man who would want a housewife has to make enough money to afford one. Let him find a woman who wants to be a housewife and they will be a good fit. There is nothing wrong with this arrangement. Planets in Cancer and Taurus, and maybe even some well placed Capricorn would be helpful in natal, synastry, and composite charts. IP: Logged |
PlutoWasHere
Knowflake Posts: 834
From: The Nether World
Registered: Mar 2021
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posted April 19, 2023 01:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Belage:
The sigh is tiredness that I have to repeat the premises of my argument. Judge me!As for the rest, maybe you should change the title of this thread to better suit your argument. Or start a new thread. The current title is Men who would want a Housewife, not Women who would want a Househusband, or People who would want a Houseperson. This is what we are discussing. And of course, in our current topsy turvy gender role climate, the knifes are coming out for the traditional roles. I am not understanding your beef about my argument on having money and choice. Yeah, money gives you choices, including being able to have your wife be a housewife instead of working to help pay bills. Is that something you did not know about the world, or about having money?
I think I made it very clear that my reaction was to your post by using a quote. There are no forum rules that say I can’t do that and you’re doing this as well so it is really petty of you to try and shut me down like that. People have children together and both mother and father share equal responsibility. How they choose to divide time is a personal choice of both people. Using the argument that it’s only women who “choose” to work and that they are indirectly to blame for their children getting abused in childcare is absolutely terrible. And no, you do not write this literally but it’s clearly implied. That’s my beef and not how people choose to divide paid labor versus unpaid labor, that’s a personal choice and everyone can decide for themselves. You’re being extremely defensive. It’s not our fault that you never had to chance to be a housewife. And neither is it yours. Sometimes life takes a different direction but it can be difficult to let go of the things we want. IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 6718
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2023 01:58 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PlutoWasHere:
I think I made it very clear that my reaction was to your post by using a quote. There are no forum rules that say I can’t do that and you’re doing this as well so it is really petty of you to try and shut me down like that. People have children together and both mother and father share equal responsibility. How they choose to divide time is a personal choice of both people. Using the argument that it’s only women who “choose” to work and that they are indirectly to blame for their children getting abused in childcare is absolutely terrible. And no, you do not write this literally but it’s clearly implied. That’s my beef and not how people choose to divide paid labor versus unpaid labor, that’s a personal choice and everyone can decide for themselves. You’re being extremely defensive. It’s not our fault that you never had to chance to be a housewife. And neither is it yours. Sometimes life takes a different direction but it can be difficult to let go of the things we want.
If you insist on seeing implication where there were none, it's your problem and right now, I really no longer care what you think.
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PlutoWasHere
Knowflake Posts: 834
From: The Nether World
Registered: Mar 2021
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posted April 19, 2023 02:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Belage:
If you insist on seeing implication where there were none, it's your problem and right now, I really no longer care what you think.
You’re clearly not open to feedback. That’s your own loss. IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 6718
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2023 03:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PlutoWasHere:
You’re clearly not open to feedback. That’s your own loss.
LOL What am I losing? Your respect and appreciation? LOL Stop flattering yourself, I don't even know you. I shared my opinion. You shared your opinion of my opinion and I do not care about it. Moving on...
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