posted September 29, 2023 03:54 PM            

Yesterday late afternoon I announced my resignation to my team leader and it became official today. I am basically 'breaking up and divorcing' my manager due to his disgusting and inhumane treatment I received from him which happened a month ago during the Pisces Full Moon conjunct transiting Saturn... it was a very karmic 1-hour long conversation... Now karma will pay it back to him as I was a highly important person at the department from a strategic point of view, it'll be very hard and take very long to replace me.

posted October 04, 2023 12:59 PM            

This venus retrograde zone return was like how many challenges can I throw at this two moving in together, how many tests can I send out, how many obstacles and delays can I throw at them...

I suppose with venus squaring uranus and it being retro it was bound to be a freaking roller coaster this past 3 months!

Is just crazy how now that the direct version of the venus return happen as soon as it started to separate is like the calm after the storm and it feels right all of a sudden and easy...even though technically there are a few more days of venus being in the retrozone but since is post retrograde shadow and it started to separate my venus I feel a definite shift and my relationship feels solid again.

Honestly like wtf happen with tr venus retrograde return? This reaaaaaaaaally resonatessssssssss and explains a lot specially the month of September for me:

"Astrologically, Venus rules love, kindness and peace – but during a Venus retrograde period, these things become harder to attain. Love relationships may be more tetchy, people are less inclined to be nice to each other and it’s easier for antagonism and anger to get a foothold in the world. Some relationships will breakdown while Venus is retrograde; others may have a bumpy ride but emerge from the difficulties stronger and healthier."

It felt it was going to break down but somehow we appear to be coming out of this stronger.

For me venus retro is like the shadow side of venus it makes venus energy behave like is at fall or in detriment, compassion and forgiveness and repairing are harder. People are less understanding, patient and shorter and more prone to anger or grudges or misunderstandings.

I would recommend you avoid moving in during a venus retrograde zone but then again that is what pushed us to finally decide to move in but it just felt like a very long process with challenges and delays to take this step during this time but venus retrograde can also be about karma and working out karma so perhaps this past 3 months were just supposed to be hard and challenging but I think that is what venus retro is like; makes things hard and challenging and causes delays..

I suppose with natal mercury in virgo rx ruling my 7th and northnode there are a lot challenges for me with communication and relationships yet I have been told I communicate very clearly twice this past week but is when I am triggered or feel very emotional that I don't communicate effectively and that then leads to relationship issues escalating (moon in the 3rd house opposite mercury rx)......yet I feel I can communicate clearly and effectively but sometimes is my partner that seems to be committed to misunderstanding me and interpreting what I am saying in a self serving way that hurts the relationship so IDK my mercury rx ruling my DC and northnode I don't feel is just about me learning to communicate alone, the communication breakdowns sometimes happen bc of my partner and sometimes bc of me, I think mercury rx ruling my DC and northnode is karmic and has to do with two people needing to work through karma around communication together and sometimes my partner communicates well and I drop the ball and sometimes it feels like he is purposefully misunderstanding me etc...perhaps mercury rx ruling my DC tends to result in more misunderstandings that lead to conflicts in relationships which means I have to work extra hard at communicating and or being selective about what I choose to discuss or respond to and mindful how I respond to it to avoid conflict; ideally you want to have a discussion not a conflict or just have the person say how they feel and then you let them know you hear and understand them and respect were they are coming from then very diplomatically express how you feel or wait for another time to do that part or let it go..that is the northnode in gemini and DC in gemini talking now I suppose.....I am forced in this life to learn to be very diplomatic and subtle and soft spoken in how I express myself and this will lead to the kind of relationship I need but I sometimes come off as too passionate, reactive, "loud" and impulsive or feisty in how I express myself (southnode in saggy, AC in saggy trine venus conjunct mars in LEO, moon in the 3rd house opposite mercury) and that is not welcomed by the partners I tend to go for, they want me to communicate like a grounded gemini or virgo without anxiety; measured, constructive, intentional, mindful, and in a soft spoken tone.

posted October 04, 2023 01:50 PM            

I have also gotten rid of things and bought more clothing and jewerly etc...and I have gotten rid of some expenses but I also bought tickets to go to Mexico this month with Scott.

so I have venus in the 8th in LEO so crisis happens and mom passes away and it becomes clear I need to separate assets with my ex and close loose ends..

I read about the 8 cycle thing but I swear I don't remember venus retro being impactful in the past but in 2015 my career as a counselor started but it was not in the summer during venus retro but VENUS does rule my MC and falls in the 8th and I am counselor and I had 5 classes to go and graduated late in 2014 and then got a job in early 2015 so I finally finished this degree I had been putting off which is fitting with tying up loose ends and retro energy in that sense.

Then in 2007 I started dating my ex but again it was not during the retrograde zone phase but venus does rule my 5th house and conjuncts my mars which rules my IC and I was constantly staying over at his place, leaving with him essentially part time.

^^However the solar return can be felt up to 6 months in advance and it can carry that VENUS retrograde zone energy so you can feel its impact earlier in the year potentially so that would definitely explain both venus retrograde zone phases in LEO for 2015 and 2007 and in that case yes it was also very impactful. In 2007 I started to date the person I ended up marrying and being with for a total of 15 years and in 2015 my career as a counselor began which was my dream since I was a teen.

Now in 2023 well my mom died and new partner moved in with me day after and I have to divide assets with my ex which became evident while he got in a huge crisis while I was at funeral home with fam planning celebration of life and the cops call me about his truck which is under my name, I have had sex two days in a row though so one more thing that can happen is me getting pregnant which has always been a dream of mine and I always wanted to be my mother's mother and in her death bed expressed that, it would be cool if I get pregnant and my mom reincarnates as my child.

posted October 05, 2023 12:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
Thank you Mir for taking the time to share this with me

This relationship has had saturn on our ass from the start, first through my chart opposing my venus and mars and squaring his moon and our composite/davison IC, in fact saturn was on our composite ascendant activating all our angles when we met, now saturn is opposing our composite and davison venus conjunct mars in the 7th and next year it will oppose both of our DC rulers....add he has an avoidant attachment style to the mix and a bunch of other things...

It just has been hard, I have had to fight every step of the way for this relationship to move forward bc all the barriers causing delays/blocks and his attachment issues; honestly is incredible we made it this long but I think you are right, I don't think we are going to survive this, I just never could have predicted that I would be that person that would move in with someone and for it to fall apart immediately.

I am at awed at how deeply transits have impacted my life this year, my toxic positivity would never let me see this coming.

I literally met him the month I saw my mom after not having been able to see her for several years bc of covid and I was at the airport crying silently thinking of her bc I was in shock at how much her health had declined so yes us meeting coincided with me reuniting with my mom post covid and learning her health was declining in a way that we did not understand fully yet then. Then come a little over a year since then and her health starts to rapidly decline around when we decided to take the next step in our relationship and move in together and then she dies the day before he officially moves in full time with me while I am in FL and I come back and I think his avoidant attachment style is acting up and clashing with my need for support right now and we are both handling our conflict we had very poorly but he is putting it all on me when he is just as much to blame.

I do think we are done and thank you for sharing this, basically I am planning on breaking the lease this week as they need two months notice so I would be moving to FL in November but lord not looking forward to living with him in the meantime, that is going to be hard. I have given him the heads up so unless he starts acting again like he wants to be with me I am moving forward with this. It will disrupt my practice to some extent as I work on getting my FL license and will only be able to see clients virtually and will need to refer out my face to face clients which sucks.

I really wanted this to work despite my internal conflict around wanting to move to FL to be close to my family and I will be grieving two losses but I am turning 40 this week, I am not 19 and can grieve, let go, accept and move on which is something back then I did not know how to do (in reference to romantic love, will always grief for my mom naturally).

But thank you for your words of wisdom around making decisions about moving in with someone. I will certainly take that more seriously next time and really consider if the timing is right. The thing is that I needed us to move in so I could feel I gave this my all and move back to FL knowing it truly was not meant to be and feeling at peace with my decision to move back. I love him so I wanted to honor what we have and truly give it my all. We shall see it doesn't look good right now but we keep lasting somehow.

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I remember looking at your chart and his, and noticing the strong Uranus influence both in synastry and transit.