posted June 19, 2009 12:40 AM         

That's my observation/vent for the moment.

posted June 19, 2009 01:18 AM         

Not "mean" mean, but you know what I mean.

posted June 19, 2009 01:45 AM         

Yes there are those who do feel more comfortable letting out more when using another name or display certain parts of their personality.

For the most part, many here are down to earth and one can easily pick up that that is the actual person behind the name.

posted June 19, 2009 01:50 AM         

A lot of that is to do with missing out on that vital 60% of communication, the non-verbal part. Look at how humour is taken, sometimes what you write can be taken all wrong.

I read posts on here and I feel sure that the person writing is really not alright. On the other side of the street, there are others, including you, I feel like I could drop into a bar this evening and you would be sat there like an old friend, and I could say just what I liked. But I try and be careful on here, it is is a public website.

All over the 'net you will find people being insulting in the way they wouldn't dare if they were sitting in a bar or on a bus. LL is mild stuff in comparision to a lot of places where people go in and behave like "wild weasels". A quote for you!

But what will it do for the state of their soul?

In non-cyber life I tend to be forthright. But it has been a near 40 year lesson of learning when to put it out there and when to shut up. It is something I still struggle with but I am getting better.

posted June 19, 2009 02:58 AM         

In Central, I feel loose and relaxed. I let myself go and find it hard to be too deep unless someone is really in need of a shoulder to lean on. Central is my 'fantasy' place to escape to.

posted June 19, 2009 03:44 AM         

But it's also easier to misread something or otherwise take offense at something inoffensive, because the reader can't "hear the tone" of voice or see the facial expressions (so sarcasm, silliness, etc, can seem like a serious statement, and an observation can come off as passing judgment, etc). This can lead to extreme defensiveness that spirals out of control. Heck, I've had people blast me for being insulting when I was sincerely COMPLIMENTING them!

As for how I'm different...that's complicated to explain. Short and sweet, I'm much more myself and honest (which can make me blunt--especially when I'm trying to keep something relatively short--which can offend people at times, in addition to the usual misunderstandings), as if I said what I really thought in real life, I'd probably be homeless, because most people like dealing with people who they believe are pretty much like themselves, or at least dumber (so not threatening). Plenty of times when I honestly shared my thoughts in real life, it created problems, so I avoid doing so more often than not. Because I try to keep peace with many neighbors, business relations, etc, this can make me a lot more diplomatic and more likely to shut up and nod to whatever everyone else is saying (even when I find it offensive). (Also, what I say online is extremely unlikely to haunt me by anyone in real life, though I do keep the possibility in mind.)

Also, it can be scary in other ways. Like one guy, who goes to the same shooting range as I do, said how he felt killing gays--especially if they get too close to you--just for being gay should be self-defense "because gays spread AIDS (sometimes on purpose)". You can bet I DIDN'T tell him I had a girlfriend at the time...after all, he might be tempted to shoot me when he saw me drinking from the water fountain since I'm probably spreading AIDS...but online I usually feel much more comfortable sharing that about myself (I may be judged harshly sometimes, but I don't have to worry about my safety).

But on the net, one guy threatened to track me down, rape me, and hack me apart with an ax, and I just shrugged it off because he's a pathetic meth head living with his mom (by his own admission) several states away who has no idea where I live other than I PRESUMABLY live in California. (And I'm very careful about answering "get to know you questions" and absolutely refuse to give out things like my phone number or even area code to cyber stalkers, or anyone else.) So I have a freedom online to be myself that I feel I often don't in real life.

posted June 19, 2009 01:16 PM         

I'm the same here, as I am away from the computer: mostly (genuinely) nice, but I have my moments, just like everyone else.

I can be very shy, both in person and online. Writing more here (and at a couple of other sites), has helped me, too (as someone said above). I always remember that there are real people behind the user names here (or anywhere online) - if I offend someone online, then it's just as bad as if I'd offended them in person.

quote:

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But it's also easier to misread something or otherwise take offense at something inoffensive, because the reader can't "hear the tone" of voice or see the facial expressions (so sarcasm, silliness, etc, can seem like a serious statement, and an observation can come off as passing judgment, etc).

---

I've experienced this myself - I've been on both ends of the stick there.

posted June 19, 2009 02:20 PM         

I think it always depends on how emotionally involved you are.

I am always the same. I don't know how to be different, sometimes I wish I did. Cause the "heart on the sleeve thing" gets old.
If anyone who knew me in real life, came to this board, they would be able to pick me out in a heartbeat.

posted June 19, 2009 03:53 PM         

not perfect, just me.

common sense, touch of humor, touch of temper. no walkover by any means.

sometimes i like to think certain ones who are always sweet, always kind and always comapssionate are probobly the biggest bossiest beotches at home to be imagined.

and i think the opposite as well, some of the contentious seeming people maybe the most kind people in real life, just needing to let off some steam or frustration to keep on keeping on in real life.

not that compassion is a bad thing,...but sometimes when people post about i am cheating on my wife husband whatever, and everyone is blowing smoke up thier butts how it is ok, they need to be reminded of the people they are hurting and KARMA. sometimes they are either looking for a reason to JUSTIFY thier actions and someone to tell them it is all good and ok. no shortage of that around here. i'm not really one to blow smoke up someones butt to make them feel better about doing things that will hurt other people. i know first hand how it triples itself back on you. there is a right way and a wrong way to do most anything.

i take most people on here at face value and actaully treasure some of my friendships here, as they know me better than many in real life as i keep to myself my personal business...but i am no walkover in personal life either.

limited anonimity is better than none. just gotta take it for what it is.