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Author
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Topic: I dislike Alpha Males
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blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 548
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 07:18 AM
 
Back in the day I think they would get the tag 'macho'. I never liked them much then, either. Having to be in charge, to have control, to be the final word, to be right. The way you can sit back and watch them fight it out with other men like they are baboons in a jungle. My interpretation of Alpha Male is probably a bit out, feel free to disagree. Not that it is likely I will like the type of man any more. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 127
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 08:15 AM
So do I, which reminds me of another thing that annoys this Mars in Pisces: men telling me that all women love jerks. IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 548
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 09:15 AM
No, we don't. I like men who are capable of being sensible and sensitive. IP: Logged |
Valus
Knowflake Posts: 781
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 11:16 AM
Sounds like you dislike type-A personalities. I tend to find them more disagreeable in women than men (probably sexist of me, but, hey, what are you gonna do?), but they are all generally distasteful to me. As far as the man-woman angle... Melody was telling me about how arguments between men and women are typically patterned: Man starts arguing "X", woman argues "Y", man argues "X against Y", woman argues "Z" (which has to do with man's method of arguing, rather than the original subject of the argument). I think, often, women are more attentive to the way in which a discussion or debate is conducted, and less concerned with the actual logic being presented on either side of the debate. And because it is so difficult to concede a point, particularly when it is being argued for aggressively, they will refuse to admit when the man's logic is sound. So they both go on, having two totally different arguments and not understanding each other. I also think that some people just dont really care to know the truth, and they resent any attempt -- particularly a serious one -- to get at the heart of things. They see it as a contest of wills, with the other person just trying to be right, because they cannot understand why he would sincerely be interested in proving the truth, rather than the strength of his own ego. Passion for truth is foreign to them, and they interpret his passion in terms they are more familiar with. It is silly, though, when people squabble over the most insignificant details and side-issues, seizing hold of the slightest things in order to take advantage, as this is clearly not for the sake of truth, but purely egoistic. The person I know who does this most is a woman. She takes every disagreement or misunderstanding as a personal affront, and immediately throws herself into the fray with such aggression that nobody cares what the heck she is arguing about. Then she thinks she has dominated, but really everyone is just thinking, "Eh, let the baby have her bottle." My mother, ladies and gentleman, lol.  Career woman extraordinaire. Wife and mother? Hardly.
IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 127
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 11:40 AM
.IP: Logged |
Valus
Knowflake Posts: 781
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 11:46 AM
quote:
Assertiveness and honesty is one thing;
being a dominant, controlling a-hole is another.
Absolutely.  But sometimes we mistake one for the other, when, in fact, the truth is just that we are not in sympathy with the person's ideas, or personal style.
IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 548
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 12:25 PM
The kind of person I am thinking of wouldn't concern themselves to argue with me, would they? I should know my place, do what I am told, and be glad when I am called up to be used for sex. Obviously I go along with this finding it incredibly attractive. It's more a thing with men who get the opportunity to vie for power and control in some significant capacity but I guess it works for the tin pot dictator as well. I am, of course, being very cynical and jaundiced. I have some (minor) health problems here that are making me cranky.
IP: Logged |
Valus
Knowflake Posts: 781
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 01:38 PM
quote:
It's more a thing with men who get the opportunity to vie for power and control in some significant capacity but I guess it works for the tin pot dictator as well.
I hear you. I guess it depends on your definition of real power. An armchair philosopher may be reclaiming power over internal and external pressures by dragging up and unravelling the knots in his/her own unconscious mind. This is power on some of the deepest levels, where the person is able to shed, like a snakeskin, familial and cultural prejudices which most people don't even realize they're being influenced and controlled by. Then there are people who appear to be working with real power, but who are really just shuffling sums of money around and enforcing their wills by the threat of violence. And many people have a semblence of power only because they align themselves with the flow of popular opinion, or with some group which currently holds the economic and/or ideological high-ground in their society. Strength in numbers is not real strength. It takes tremendous energy (and real power) to swim alone, against these currents. The more unpopular your stance, the more people will accuse you of being stubborn and trying to force your views. For some reason, many people seem to assume that allegiance to a popular view is acceptable, even admirable, while allegiance to any other view is just bullheaded and ego-driven. Its clear that the person supporting a popular view is rarely as interested in debate as the nonconformist, simply because popular views have very little need of defending; they are already popular, and already directing the flow of social currents and attitudes. If, however, your position is a more rare one, it stands to reason that you will have to fight for it, in order for it not to be completely eclipsed by popular demand. I hope your health improves,
and you are feeling better soon.
IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 548
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 02:53 PM
Thanks, I have a problem with migraines, they have come and gone over the last few weeks. Talking over these kinds of things help. Emotional stress is one of the triggers. I think my problem is what Teasel says about the attitude of someone else being beneath you or unworthy. I don't mind people arguing, getting aggressive or opinionated in itself. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 803
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 26, 2009 03:14 PM
I guess I'm just used to them. Working in a bar, you'll meet lots of alpha males, and you will also meet "regular joes" who become alpha males when they drink alcohol.
It always amuses me to see peoples personalities morph. The quiet ones become noisey, the noisey ones become morose, the shy ones flirt, etc. I love Tyler Durden. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 718
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 28, 2009 09:27 PM
Hm...I don't think all alpha males are aggressive, sport loving, beer guzzling, fighters.  Can someone be the alpha male but laid back or quiet? Ive known a few over the years that I tend to think of as the alpha male in a group of guys, but they arent violent, loud or pushy - yet they are still clearly "top dog" in the group. They have a strong presence or energy and dont need to be obnoxious about it. The other guys look up to and respect him. And the chicks dig him.Could someone like this still be an alpha male?
They are the alpha types I like.  IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 718
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 28, 2009 09:32 PM
I'm way too laid-back, quiet and mellow so I pair well with an alpha male. A NICE one. lolIP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 718
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 28, 2009 09:32 PM
quote:
So do I, which reminds me of another thing that annoys this Mars in Pisces: men telling me that all women love jerks.
teasel, I know!  IP: Logged |
future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 96
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 28, 2009 09:57 PM
My brother is pretty alpha. I went to his house once while his wife was gone and he offered me a slice of cake. I asked him where the forks and plates were and he said, "I don't know. That's her job." Yuck!IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 718
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 28, 2009 10:06 PM
That's alpha? Sounds like a jerk! This is interesting:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071204111126AALZPLJ IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 841
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 28, 2009 11:22 PM
T, I like 'alpha' men too - but when I think of alpha males, I don't think of sexist, arrogant pricks with a Napoleon Complex.
That's just a douchebag to me.
Instead, I think of confident men who know their self-worth and are not afraid to speak their mind, and who know what they like and go after it.
That's sexy to me.
I don't think self-confidence and assertiveness in a person excludes their ability to be sensitive.
Those men who think masculinity excludes feelings and vulnerability obviously have a lot to learn!IP: Logged |
Valus
Knowflake Posts: 781
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 29, 2009 09:06 AM
Yeah, T, you just described my bestest friend, Dan.
If I was a chick, I'd be all up in his biz-natch.  MVM, IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 29, 2009 09:34 AM
I agree with MVM.
An Alpha male is not a jerk. It's the type of male all women wish to mate with to strengthen their gene pool.
Men who don't know where knives and forks are, are just badly brought up by over indulgent mothers.
My son is an Alpha male and he could iron his own clothes at 11, whip up a great meal and is unfailingly polite and respectful to women.
But if you were a belligerent male who decided to threaten him I would suggest otherwise.
Alpha just means natural leader not a half witted Neanderthal.IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 718
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 29, 2009 12:50 PM
MVM, exactly! Valus, is he single? He might dig me with my Sun falling in his 7th. IP: Logged |
eve
Knowflake Posts: 190
From: jane
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 29, 2009 05:13 PM
Valus -
Your bestest buddy has all his angles exactly on mine! I've never seen someone else with those placements before. And I already know where his Name Asteroid falls in my chart...it's a hot spot.  I see his Sun opp my Moon at 22 Leo. Maybe all these matches indicate that you and I would really hit it off, too.  T -
If I may, as someone who shares this gentleman's angles, I can assure that he would dig you.  ASSURE!! As far as Alpha Males go, my definition is more in line with T's, MVM's & bunnies, and that's also my type. Confident, good-hearted leaders, not domineering ones. I find men who have a sense of responsibility for the group very sexy.  IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 718
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 29, 2009 06:44 PM
Why thank you my dear!  Though I imagine Valus might be thinking something like: 'I said he was my best friend, T. Not my enemy.' lol  Come on V. Hook it up!  IP: Logged |
aquarian/scorpio
Knowflake Posts: 148
From: Middle Earth
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 30, 2009 06:05 AM
Exactly what MVM and Bunnies stated! I think Alpha males are very attractive and is part of primal nature for a female to be attracted to those qualities in a male.IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 548
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 30, 2009 10:44 AM
quote:
Sounds like you dislike type-A personalities
LOL I checked out what that was all about and it sounded just like my husband. But I never said I liked him. The biological imperative to reproduce I decided a while ago, when I pondered on it, was that he was the darkest man around at the time. I'm glad my children don't burn in the sun like their mother. They got his nose, too, wow, was I glad about that.
IP: Logged |
Valus
Knowflake Posts: 781
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 30, 2009 01:09 PM
I always thought we did hit it off, eve.Alas, my friend isn't into white chicks. It's kind of a thing with him. Sorry, you two. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 803
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 30, 2009 03:50 PM
I didn't mean to imply that alpha males are beer drinking sport lovers, I was just using that as a reference since it came to my mind from my work.Watch animals sometimes, you can figure out who is the alpha male pretty quickly, lol. Doesn't make them any less lovable, just makes them who they are. If a girl is really girly, high maintenance, needs to shop often, have her hairdone, nails done, cares about clothing labels and such, what do you guys think of her? I know a girl, very pretty, does all the above, and whenever she meets a man she says, "Hi, my name is Kim, how much do you make a year?"
The guys love her.
Is she an alpha-female or a gold digger? lol. IP: Logged |
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