posted June 30, 2009 05:40 PM         

On the subject - I am into T's description of an Alpha Male. Yes, I prefer Alpha males. Although it sounds primitive, I like a guy to be a guy and a woman to be a woman. Although assertive and direct, I am still feminine. I also like a man to be gentle and accommodating while still retaining his masculinity. And, it may be disappointing but I want a guy to be in charge of certain things that I personally find tiresome, things that alpha males prefer to be in charge of.

E.g. Providing. Not money, but service. Alpha males love to provide a service of sorts. So, I let them provide drinks for me, pay the bill if they like, or whatever it is that makes them feel manly.

Protection. Yes, I like feeling protected and Alpha males love to protect their "girl". They will ward off any guy trying to talk to you. Some girls will see this as being smothered or see the guy as being possessive. I don't see it that way.

Proclamation. They like making proclaiming statements like, "this is my girl" or "she is mine" and some feminists will say that they are being objectified, but I don't see it like that. I see it as the guy being territorial. It is actually a compliment because Alpha males don't do these proclamations often. It's how they show affection. I am comfortable with this form of public affection rather than the feminine, soft kind (publicly). Privately things must soften

_________________
*Ideas derived from a book by Steve Harvey called, "Act like a lady, Think like a Man"* I haven't read it, but that's where you can read about the 3 Ps.

posted June 30, 2009 11:29 PM         

And then there are the guys like the one that started talking me up recently, who like to brag about how much they make, what they drive, their high-paying job and all that, to try and "wow you".

This guy was nice but I was more in awe of how wrapped up he was in his material things and 'story' and trying to impress me than what he had. He really thought he was something! I felt a bit sorry for him because he seemed nice enough, just a little lost. I think a lot of women go for that though?

An ex coworker was there and she was ga-ga over this guy. She always makes her boyfriends pay to get her nails done and take her out to eat at nice places a couple times a week, buy her expensive handbags etc.
I dont get all that. She's a nice girl...not much depth, just sucked into materialism and how she sees relationships on TV I guess.

posted July 01, 2009 02:34 AM         

Providing -> mr bm brings home the bacon.

Protection -> I've got brothers for this job. I wouldn't really like my boyfriend warding off male friends if I am trying to talk to them.

Proclamation -> I can't stand possessiveness. Checking up on what I am doing or who I am talking to sends me over the edge.

Maybe it's a Mars in Aqua thing.

And I ain't saying I'm a goldigga, but I ain't goin' with no broke

The guys probably like that girl because she is straight about what she is after. She wants to look pretty whilst they pay for everything. They find that attractive.

Because of my husband's job he gets hit on by girls like this all the time. He can't stand them, he likes aggressive women that stand up to him intellectually. My mother says he has stayed interested in me all these years because I tell him to get stuffed when he tries to boss me around.

Horses for courses.

To each their own.

posted July 01, 2009 11:04 AM         

quote:

---

And I ain't saying I'm a goldigga, but I ain't goin' with no broke

---

posted July 01, 2009 11:38 AM         

But then... my dad is a small man near 70. He would get aggressive if someone tried that around me, as well.

Not sure exactly what an Alpha Male is any more, I feel confused.

posted July 01, 2009 01:07 PM         

"Sorry, you two."

Wait, am I one of the two? I wasn't looking for a hook up. Besides, I'm not interested in your friend. I'm interested in you. I was only using his chart to see how we'd get along.

"I always thought we did hit it off, eve."

You felt it too, huh?

We're close in age. I think you would've been only a year or two ahead of me in school. Maybe that's part of why you feel familiar.

When I said hit it off, I meant in person, best friend style.

If I was your best friend
Would you let me take care of you and do all the things
That only a best friend can...

posted July 01, 2009 02:25 PM         

I could use a friend like you
on this side of the Atlantic.

posted July 05, 2009 01:14 PM         

In the situation which irked me, the men continue to argue in a strutting manner, as they tend to when they are deluded into thinking they know everything and are in charge. Meanwhile, the women are quietly wresting power and control.

posted July 05, 2009 04:57 PM         

FYI: Tyler Durden ROCKED MY SOCKS!

posted July 05, 2009 05:49 PM         

There isn't much consensus on here about how to define an Alpha Male. The definitions are getting rather diluted.

No-one likes arrogant and controlling jerk-offs though, there seems to be consensus on that point.

If I had said that, it would have saved us all this agony.

posted July 07, 2009 08:59 PM         

But I've heard since then that the entire point of the book AND film was to show the danger of seeing violence as a positive means to an end. That is, the viewer was SUPPOSED to be disturbed, and the ending wasn't supposed to be seen as a victory but as a warning regarding the end of civilization & society could come about if such means were embraced.

Palahniuk has said that he has had quite a few people over the years tell him that they have founded fight clubs, or have done some of the other things described in the book and movie, and he has said that really scares him and frustrates him, that people could be taking away from his book the exact opposite of what he wanted to say. At least that's what I'm told he said, I never verified it.

That said, I do understand the concept of war and brutality as one means of progress, concepts I explored in this chapter of a fanfic of mine:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4180791/7/Shades_of_Grey

Also this chapter:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4180791/14/Shades_of_Grey