Posts: 535
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted August 19, 2009 06:22 AM         

---

Is it a failing to say I can't be bothered with people? Or is it merely realistic?
I don't really make very many demands of people, I feel, I plough my own furrow, pay my own rent and I expect them to be self-sufficient too. But I get a bit blindsided by the level of their expectation. I find myself asking people a lot "What do you want from me?"

I feel I don't want the responsibility of being invested in people.

My sister said last night that I just can't be bothered with people and I'm not interested in spending any time with them. She has a point. She thinks it's a failing, I think that's just the way it is. Certain people bore me with their expectations and I just want to run out the door.

Does anybody else feel this way? I admitted to myself last night that I do feel this way and what I felt was.... relief.

IP: Logged

Posts: 337
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 19, 2009 06:39 AM         

---

yup. i feel like pretty much every one i know wants *something* from me. often that thing tends to be emotional commiseration. the kind that would necessarily involve me in their personal dramas and pit me against their enemies, whether perceived or real. this i find to be especially the case with women. and men seem to usually want to get in my pants which is equally annoying. i don't think this is a reflection on my appeal personally; i just find men more and more to be like walking penises, without discernment or awareness of their deeper emotional needs. (generalization that doesn't apply to all men of course, but i would say about 70% of the men i'm friends with and encounter frequently. it seems like the endless quest for sex is what drives most males, and when you think about it, that is so boring and pointless).

i love to be social, but only as a way to enjoy life and take every moment freshly. not to be enmeshed in peoples' weird agendas, and i am finding pretty much everyone seems to have one, and somehow they see me as indispensable to further them. so for the most part i am a loner. i don't like 'barter' friendships. love, time and energy should be freely exchanged, not expected. and when people try to get me to fit into their expectations, oh man that peeves me. i was just thinking about this tonight.

eta: i live on my neptune line and i know this is a big part of my frustration with people in general these days.

IP: Logged

Posts: 535
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted August 19, 2009 07:03 AM         

---

THANK GOD I'M NOT ALONE!

I would give you a hug woah city but, you know, I don't want to.

What you wrote really rang a bell. Especially about the bartering friendships thing. "I visit you, now you visit me, even if you don't want to". And modern technology, phones. I feel I'm "on call" 24/7 and every text message makes me want to hide under a rock.

I am lazy too, granted.

IP: Logged

Posts: 337
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 19, 2009 07:17 AM         

---

awww.. i really don't want to hug you too!

yeah laziness is a big part of it too.

i dunno. i've always been the kind of person to have a best friend and one or three good friends and many acquaintances whom i hardly see or make an effort to see, and to be perfectly happy with that.

i do feel like a giant snob, though, but oh well.

oh and i'm so embarrassed. that should have read 'penii'. of course

IP: Logged

Posts: 337
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 19, 2009 07:24 AM         

---

wait, isn't saying 'thank god i'm not alone' kinda ironic? how about 'thank god i am alone and at least i'm not a TOTAL freak'?

haha, 'thank god i'm alone' would be a great bumpersticker. only the true Loners would get it.

or maybe i'm just really effin tired and should sleep now.

IP: Logged

Posts: 535
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted August 19, 2009 07:25 AM         

---

God, you know, I just look on each new person much as I would a puppy. I'm thinking "My god, this person might want feeding for like, 18 years... must think seriously about this before giving out my number".

Some of my friends are great. Some of my friends are delightful no matter how crap I've been because I give them license to be crap too. Which they often are. And that is fine. I hate any guilt tripping about "effort".

I've never seen more than one penis at a time and therefore rarely find the need for the word penii. Maybe that's my problem?

IP: Logged

Posts: 644
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 19, 2009 07:26 AM         

---

Age comes into this, Wheels. The older blokes are less likely to be panting all over you like a terrier let out of his kennel for the day.

Again, we are in generalisation land, there are some around who don't have the appopriate level of emotional maturity for their years.

Overall I don't feel the same way. I am a simple soul and work on the basis that either someone wants to spend time with me or they don't, and vice versa.

Favours, well, we all have our skill sets and I don't mind helping out by doings something someone finds suits them ill. I don't expect to be paid back in kind each time but neither do I expect them to start taking the p!ss. It's not much of a basis for a friendship either, it's just something that comes along with the package.

IP: Logged

Posts: 535
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted August 19, 2009 07:30 AM         

---

Yeah, it's like that Bill Hicks stand-up thing about "The People Who Hate People"

There's a new party being born: The People Who Hate People Party. People who hate people, come together! "No!" We're kind of having trouble getting off the boards, you know. Come to our meeting! "Are you gonna be there?" Yeah. "Then I ain't coming." But you're our strongest member! "**** you!" That's what I'm talking about, you ******* ! **** off! Damn, we almost had a meeting going. It's so hard to get my people together.

IP: Logged

Posts: 535
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted August 19, 2009 07:34 AM         

---

Nobody's panting over me Blue, that was woah, who uses the word penii like she knows what it means.

I should be more philosophical maybe. I feel like I'm getting spread quite thin even when the demands are few.
Arghh, maybe I'm just having a bad day.

IP: Logged

Posts: 328
From: Wonderland
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 19, 2009 08:22 AM         

---

I don't if it's so much as people's exspectations as it's people that always rely on me to have the answer and people know I have a hard time saying "no"..

In other words I am a opportunistic/optimistic/self motivator for other people but I do none of the three for myself or rarely and when I do it seems to bother people because it's taking away from them or I am doing it for someone else other then them..

Though I blame this mostly on myself as I need to really set up boundaries and to learn to say "no" lol.

IP: Logged

Posts: 222
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 19, 2009 08:55 AM         

---

IP: Logged

Posts: 1095
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 19, 2009 09:00 AM         

---

sounds like you need some time to yourself. take it. turn your phone off and do whatever you want and make no excuses or explain.

IP: Logged

Posts: 542
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 19, 2009 10:08 AM         

---

quote:

---

I find myself asking people a lot "What do you want from me?"

---

Emotional support?

I feel this way too. More often than I care to admit.

But... people need compassion and understanding and help... I feel compelled to provide it any time they ask it of me which is not that often because I tend to isolate myself for long periods of time.

Giving what I can is my way to redemption. My job is all about support too.

Yin,
Neptune tightly conjuncts Sun in Sag in the 10th

IP: Logged

Posts: 1254
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted August 19, 2009 12:41 PM         

---

yes, it seems like everyone has an agenda, even in the most innocent things.
Lunch with a girlfriend isn't really lunch, is it? It's a b*tch session about her boyfrined/husband/child/job. I feel terribly jaded sometimes when I think like this. I'm also accused of not reaching out, not telling people when I need something....guess I am just used to dealing with it myself.
But then again, maybe we want company on our own terms, cause we're all here....

IP: Logged

Posts: 542
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 19, 2009 01:05 PM         

---

quote:

---

yes, it seems like everyone has an agenda, even in the most innocent things.

---

Yes, Gypsee, I believe that too.

But... once you accept that everyone has an agenda, then you can be really in the moment to enjoy the conversation/exchange for what it is with all its perfect flaws.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1264
From: acousticgod@sbcglobal.net
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 19, 2009 07:25 PM         

---

I try to be fair with people.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1197
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted August 19, 2009 09:51 PM         

---

Meh, people get on my nerves sometimes. I get tired of helping and being all 'there' and then need time away.
GypseeWind, I totally can relate to the whole B*tch Session with people ... I have a friend who called me exclusively for years for this alone, especially when I was married. When I got divorced and moved on and tried to reach out ... lo and behold, she didn't 'feel she could relate' to anything in my life. How odd.

Also, sometimes I feel like I am always needing to help people. I help people for a living but sometimes it feels like it extends beyond my work hours and it bugs me immensely. It's like, I'm there for friends as much as I can be, but sometime I just don't want to bothered because I feel so damn DRAINED.

IP: Logged

Posts: 337
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 19, 2009 11:50 PM         

---

hmm. the thought of encountering many penii attached to many men in a room (or other small space) actually does nothing for me. i do however have a fantasy that involves one particular man with multi-endowment. but which i will not entertain here as much as i'm sure you'd all love to hear.

awww, people are wonderful. i love to care about people and help them out and be there for them and everything. i just find again and again that it's never quite enough for some people and then there's the guilt tripping that accompanies the inevitable backwards-shimmy i feel the need to do in these situations. i think i just need to be more assertive or something. also i cannot ask for help myself, and i think that's a huge part of it.

blue, you're right about the fellas and their ages, of course. i think i just live in a particularly loinlorn town. and it's making me blue. a lotta these guys seem to think we have some great connection and can't read that i am sincerely not interested. and then i feel like they think i've lead them on and/or our friendship falters because of this weird thing that's not a thing between us. it sucks. i'm pretty sure it's neptune on my AC and living on my neptune line. people see what they want to see in me.

IP: Logged

Posts: 687
From: canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 20, 2009 12:23 AM         

---

haha wheels i feel the same way i cant be bothered by most people unless there not my friends like people on LL and of course my real life friends.

but too strangers and most others i really just dont want you to expect anything from me because most likly i wont care what they are. and secondly i wont do any of your expectations that you want me too do.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1197
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted August 20, 2009 12:36 AM         

---

" i do however have a fantasy that involves one particular man with multi-endowment..."

Well, he sounds perfect to me - I'm sold

"... but which i will not entertain here as much as i'm sure you'd all love to hear."

awwww.....

IP: Logged

Posts: 337
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 20, 2009 01:01 AM         

---

i should probably make clear that is it my *fantasy* that he be multi-endowed, not reality. fortunately we share the same fantasy, so we adapt.

i would share but i'm darn certain that would be a breech of the rules.. for what it's worth i also wish he had an extra head sprouting out of his real head with a very long neck if you catch my drift.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1197
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted August 20, 2009 01:26 AM         

---

Oh my god, I'm catching more than a drift there

IP: Logged

Posts: 337
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 20, 2009 01:37 AM         

---

i blame you and your taurus mars. you bring out the raunch in me, lady.

IP: Logged

Posts: 535
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted August 20, 2009 04:58 AM         

---

Woah City I pretty much cried laughing at everything you wrote in this thread. I am so cheered up that you've made me like people again, you swine!

For some reason "backwards shimmy" tickled me senseless.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1095
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 20, 2009 05:09 AM         

---

theres a new dance
i been waitng to do
the backwards shimmy
you'll like it too

one step back...now shimmy
lets all do the backwards shimmy
get to the door
as fast as we cannnnyyyy

i can't hear you, no i cant
what your selling
i ain't buying
you can't take up all my tiiiiime

one step back, now shimmy
big ending now big ending
raise your hands up n shake em
when you see the outs.... take em

IP: Logged