posted August 26, 2009 10:18 PM         

i was just wondering as i'm going through this now, how does it feel for you to carry around someone else's secrets and thus use lies to cover them up? how does this affect you?

i feel very burdened and stressed out knowing what i know...and then having to be all fake as i am not allowed to say. i feel as if i was bitten by some vampire and now i'm infected, too. too many people tell me their big secrets and then they expect me not to judge them and not to tell anyone. that's not fair.

posted August 27, 2009 12:59 AM         

I almost never lie, and never have lied in a way that made me feel dirty (at least not in this way). But I have told people that "I can't talk about it" (or even "I can't break a confidence"), though they may also get my sincere sympathy. This bothers some...but then this is also why plenty probably tell me secrets...because they know I keep them. I should just be glad more haven't thought of the "almost loophole" of asking me what I'd do if in his/her position, knowing what I know, as that's a gray area for me, and I generally try to be as helpful as possible.

If I somehow got trapped in your position, I'd give the said person fair warning that I wasn't going to keep on lying, so he better get his act together before the next time you're asked (maybe giving a grace period of a few days). This assumes I'm actually asked by someone about the said incident who is being deceived, as opposed to my running off to tattle. Granted, in cases where someone innocent and/or helpless is being seriously harmed, like a child, tattling may be the best option anyway, though I generally feel that adults are responsible for their own messes, including in getting involved with people who do them wrong, and so generally don't feel inclined to meddle unasked where it's adults involved (assuming not an invalid, held prisoner, etc). Especially given how sometimes when you try to help unasked (even intervening on a beating going down), the person you try to help will turn on you first or, once free, will race to the next jerk to treat him or her just as badly.

posted August 28, 2009 01:57 AM         

i have a lot of libra friends with lots of scorpio or vice versa. i found out recently another crazy acquaintence who bonded with me very quickly is a scorpio with a lot of libra. and i was like oh god save me! i'm surrounded by them...way too many of them...and it's a libra who's confided in me a very dark secret.