posted September 12, 2009 09:49 PM         

A review it had which was why your link reminded me of it:

quote:

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This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

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posted September 13, 2009 12:23 PM         

I call these my C0ck Fight pants. I know what you are thinking, why C0ck Fight? Why not Zebra Fight pants? Here, let me explain:

The first time I wore these pants, I tried to capture the spirit of the animal print from which they came: the Zebracorn (50% Zebra / 50% Unicorn = 100% real. See Google). I would wear these pants with nothing more than Crocs on my feet and hair on my chest, and prance around the block like the mighty, legendary Zebracorn. It was kind of like skipping, using an intermittent hop, kind of a gallop. Yes, definitely a gallop. And I held my hands in front of my chest like I wasn't exactly sure what to do with them. People would ask if I was gay as I pranced around. I'd smile, wave, and wish them a happy day too. Then one day my friend explained to me that those people used a redefined meaning of that word. I didn't know they did that! (Change word meanings, I mean.)

So I got worried. No more prancing around the block. To help protect myself from the block bullies who changed words, I decided to take Capoeira lessons. I wore these pants to every lesson. For years worth of lessons, my pants never failed me. They didn't fade, and the stripe lines never blurred. My confidence roared, like a Zebracorn! I was so elite that I entered every Street Fighter contest and won!

I became so confident that people began to call me "cocky". I tried to get them to call me "Corny" in respect to the legendary Zebracorn, but it didn't work. Eventually the name "Cocky" grew on me. I decided to officially adopt it and took on the street fighting name of Giant **** . My logo was a **** with a pirate's eye patch. I shaved it into my chest hair! It looked so good with these pants. The women flocked to me like Hens. I asked if they wanted to be my towel girls. They said yes! They were so proud to be able to towel the sweat off the Giant **** after a fight.

In my youth I was strong and stood tall. But after years of fighting, and just plain old age, I had problems staying up against almost any opponent and would get knocked out easily. Usually less than one round. I had to retire. As a sign of my past life behind, I burned my **** Fight pants at sea. There were no ashes, just melted goop.

Now, after breakthroughs in science and bad economies, I'm so happy to see these pants make a come back. I've been going through physical therapy, taking steroids, and have started fighting again. I couldn't find a **** t-shirt to symbolize the rebirth of my career, but I found a wolf one! Breakthrough Wolf T-Shirt - Available in Various Sizes But I still wasn't complete without my Zubaz! I ordered a pair, and am waiting for delivery. Very soon the Giant **** shall return!

Order a pair of Zubaz pants and you too can be a Giant **** !

posted September 13, 2009 12:53 PM         

Also, I love reading those Zubaz reviews and I always hear them in the voice of Rex of Rex Kwon Do from Napoleon Dynamite. It makes me laugh harder.

"Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!"

And I always "hear" the Wolf t-shirt reviews in the voice of Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.

posted September 13, 2009 12:59 PM         

Arrrrgghhhh!

posted September 13, 2009 01:06 PM         

My Other Car Does Not Have Toys And Other Strange Voodoo Objects Superglued All Over It ~

Dammit, where's the cereal aisle?

posted September 14, 2009 09:51 AM         

I also loved that one with droopy pants boy, Z. And the thing is, that isn't the only picture he has of cars with shtuff glued all over them. And if everyone will notice the dates, these aren't compiled over a couple of years or anything, 25 pages of pictures and dang near all from just his September blog. I dare say these pics added a little resolve to my forcing myself out of pajamas before getting in the car and going out to the store.