posted October 13, 2009 09:33 PM         

No use complaining to his doctors. their just concerned that he quits smoking.

I'm at my end he's 50 and most people take him for mid 60's.

I think also he is in the early stages of brain damage. just by the way he acts and i think he's giving it to himself with all these drugs.

posted October 13, 2009 10:20 PM         

sex, food, money, alcohol, drugs, exercise, work etc...

no difference.

i LOATHE pop psychology for replacing one addiction with another.

i have the same opinion regarding "aa" just re-focuses one's addictions.

till the individual comes to terms with the root cause of the addiction, the addictive personality will always be such... addicted.

i hear ya, dee, been there done that with many, many folks in my life.

tis frusterating.

comes a time when you have to do what is good for you and just trust another is on his/her own path.

blessings

posted October 13, 2009 10:21 PM         

I'm just popping out. but will be back later today...

posted October 13, 2009 10:31 PM         

You know that no one will change unless they want to. No amount of love will fix something that is broken in someone else.

But I am reminded of a loved one who was abusing prescriptions drugs and what was done was, the family contacted all the possible physicians and pharmacies that the lady was going to, and told them of the things she was doing. They put her name in the computer and that really put a damper on her being able to get the scripts.

Also at my docs office ( I worked there for a year, a year ago) she has random drug testing for people on controlled substances. If your called you have to come in and take a urine test. If the levels are too high (as in your over using your meds) or they are not there (as in your selling your meds) then the doctor takes certain actions from that point.

I was there when she dismissed patients or called the police on them, it wasn't pretty.
If your husbands physician doesn't have this practice in place, perhaps you could suggest that he/she do it for your husband.

Hippa laws prevent the physician from discussing your husbands case with you, but not from you discussing it with them, and I have found that in the case of spouses, they tend to bend the rules of HIPPA.

I wish I knew what to tell you, but I don't know much about your situation. I do know from a whole life of experience that being co-dependant on someone else's addictions is nearly as bad as being the actual addict.

posted October 13, 2009 10:35 PM         

when i was younger i took pretty much everything that came my way. lucky for me i don't have a particularly addictive personality, i managed not to go too far down any of those roads.

by the time i was 40 i was pretty moderate in my substance use, but my mother and sister were strung out on prescriptions...my sis has a pain patch, after managing to get off the anti-deps etc...my mother had prednizone, pain pills, you name it. she could hardly keep track of them!

they weren't technically abusing these drugs but they were more dependent on them than i ever was on morphine or any of the other famous "one taste and you're on the road.." drugs.

posted October 13, 2009 11:25 PM         

This is a very hard situation to be in....for both of you.

I don't know what you should do...
Maybe you just needed to vent. Ive lived with a number of addicts and know how difficult that can be. You must be feeling immense saddness, anger, helplessness. Deep down, he probably is too.

Send loving thoughts to him if you can. That will be more beneficial to the both of you. He is clearly not in a very good place. Miracles happen. Addictions to prescription painkillers is a very serious issue and he probably wont be able to get a handle on it without major professional help.

Love and strength to you and him.

posted October 14, 2009 07:39 PM         

It's no easy task to solve this one. I'm so glad you didn't say 'I feel like killing myself'. You have a great sense of self-preservation. That's a good place to start.

Your husband has options. AA and counselling are just starters. I really like GypseeWind's doctor idea. But really, you really living with someone who needs to acknowledge some truths. There is hard work ahead of him. Is he aware of any consequences at all?

Have you thought of support for yourself? Counselling to work out what you do from here? Is leaving an option?

posted October 14, 2009 08:21 PM         

I feel for you

posted October 15, 2009 02:49 AM         

It still amazes me how much help he has had always a second third and temth chance.