Posts: 931
From: 49N35 34E34
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 12:18 PM         

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If a person that is in a relationship has a profile on a dating website saying they are single and are looking for someone, is this cheating or not?

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From:
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posted November 19, 2009 12:21 PM         

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cheating with the truth, certainly, cheating as "cheating", well not yet, but it looks like it's a matter of time to me.

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From: Maine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 12:41 PM         

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They have the intention of cheating, so I guess it's up to whoever it is happening to to decide if they feel it's a violation of the relationship, i.e. cheating.

Personally, yes.

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posted November 19, 2009 01:02 PM         

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its Dishonest, you have not 'cheated'

but thats the direction its going in.

if you meet some one else, you should at least end what you are involved in before you go further with another.

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Posts: 1816
From: acousticgod@sbcglobal.net
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:14 PM         

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Or there is a possibility that since they're no longer single, they're not paying attention to the dating site they've signed up on, so naturally they haven't changed their status.

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Posts: 931
From: 49N35 34E34
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:19 PM         

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no when the last time they logged in they already were in a relationship, yet they havent changed the status

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Posts: 323
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:22 PM         

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quote:

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Or there is a possibility that since they're no longer single, they're not paying attention to the dating site they've signed up on, so naturally they haven't changed their status.

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This is what I was thinking. I've never been a member of a dating site, but I've heard that some show the last time a member was signed in.. (though if that were the case, and the person hasn't signed in for a while, then there would be no reason for suspicion). An online friend of mine was dating one man, and felt distressed when she saw that his profile was still open, and he was still browsing the site.

I wouldn't disregard cheating. I know someone who found their (long-time) married neighbour on another site. I would be suspicious.

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Posts: 662
From: Meet Me In Sofia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:27 PM         

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Wanna find out? Create a fake account and flirt with him.

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Posts: 1816
From: acousticgod@sbcglobal.net
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:32 PM         

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Indeed (Deux).

I would say that if he's logged on since being in the relationship, then it could be just that he's not confident in the relationship working out. Keeping options open. It doesn't necessarily indicate cheating.

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posted November 19, 2009 01:33 PM         

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in the interest of fairness sometimes if you don't do your own profile those sites do it for you....i know from firsthand experience, a site i signed on to see if someone else (specific) might be there, and never made a profile at all. if i cared i would be outraged by what they put down for me but WTF!

i'm sure lots of people just forget about these sites after signing on...is this person in a relationship with you? ie is it your business?

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Posts: 931
From: 49N35 34E34
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:35 PM         

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no this guy is not in a relationship with me but a friend of mine, I am hesitant whether I should tell her, she seems so much in love

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Posts: 662
From: Meet Me In Sofia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:37 PM         

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AG, maybe he's there just for the quizzes/tests? (OkCupid's tests are good)

Yes, technically the account per se is neutral UNTIL it is used to flirt and audition prospects.

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Posts: 416
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posted November 19, 2009 01:38 PM         

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thats what i think too AG.

i also considered that possible, (not keeping up status) but this has already been confirmed the opposite.

i would make a fake account too.

or i would atleast keep an eye on it, before i jump to any conclusions.

finding this out is An advantage to one, you will know where you stand in a more honest way if you watch what they are up to.

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Posts: 931
From: 49N35 34E34
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:40 PM         

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if he is just for tests or friends or whatever there, he would have changed his status for 'in a relationship' no?

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Posts: 662
From: Meet Me In Sofia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:41 PM         

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Peri, send him a message "Are you sure you're single?"

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Posts: 931
From: 49N35 34E34
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:42 PM         

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LOL Deux, do you think I should tell my friend about her bf or I should just mind my own business?

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Posts: 1816
From: acousticgod@sbcglobal.net
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:44 PM         

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I had posted at OKCupid a request for information on how to close my account when I was in a relationship. Never got an answer....so it was open the entire duration of my relationship (and I'd logged on).

I've never known a guy to even get a date from a dating site.

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Posts: 662
From: Meet Me In Sofia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:44 PM         

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I think it's better to "wake up" the guy, not the girl. Make him realize that someone is watching him.

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Posts: 871
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:57 PM         

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Tell her.

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Posts: 323
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 01:59 PM         

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I would want to be told, but if there's nothing going on, then I wouldn't want to cause any trouble where none exists. I would ask him about it first.

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posted November 19, 2009 02:52 PM         

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Peri,

I agree with Deux. Talk to him first.

But if he does it intentionally, he is clearly being dishonest, not a good sign for his relationship.

The exgirlfriend of my best friend`s husband (now he is her husband, he wasn`t back then) would be doing similiar things online, but she went further than that. In her case it led to actual cheating.
Not saying that this is the case for everyone.

Anyway, I would let him know what you know. And then see how he reacts.

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Posts: 1775
From:
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posted November 19, 2009 02:58 PM         

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I'd nicely ask him about it too. Awhile ago, when my ex and I got back together, he never changed his status to 'in a relationship' even though he was and i brought it up to him kind of jokingly - only because I knew him so well and that he just didnt get around to changing it. He wasnt looking for anyone else and I had complete trust in him. I'm not sure why one wouldnt want to change their status to whatever it really is. It does seem dishonest and shady.

Though I have said I was in a relationship when I wasnt. I thought of it as a 'working on a deeper relationship with myself time/not interested in a relationship with another right now time'. Which it was.

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posted November 19, 2009 03:03 PM         

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Sorry, just realized you said dating site, not social network.

I've never joined a dating site. I think that makes a difference.

If i was in a relationship, I'd delete my profile on a dating site.

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Posts: 2563
From:
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posted November 19, 2009 04:29 PM         

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could it be that SHE has run this relationship into the future and HE has not? ie it is not a solid, established item at this point? i mean since when do we have a leash for all our "dates"? i would be very careful about interfering here. you may lose a girlfriend whether you are right or wrong. if he is a creep it will show soon enough...

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Posts: 615
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2009 06:49 PM         

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It all depends on the motives behind.. but honestly, it's a turn off for me if a guy would go for dating sites.

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