posted January 30, 2010 05:46 PM         

it's funny to hear things like this from a man's point of view. i don't know why...myself i'm not into clingy, needy people. i grew up with a lot of siblings and relatives and friends so i need my alone time as i never had much of it growing up. i do a lot of things by myself as well as i need to get things done or do them and i can't wait on someone to do them with me.

but then, i don't understand people who can't be by themselves. my friend said that because he was an only child, he was forced to learn to entertain himself. he gets annoyed at people who can't even go to the gym by themselves.

i know a lot of people who can't be alone. whether it's just sitting by themselves at lunch or in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. i don't understand people like that. like one friend of mine, if you leave the table, you'll return to the table and find her talking on her cell or messaging someone. she just can't be alone. and then there are those people at work who are constantly on the phone with their husbands/wives/parents and i'm like when i'm at work my friends and family and boyfriend are not allowed to bother me. it's like um, i'm at work...personal and professional should not cross...unless someone died, don't call me as i'm at work. i don't know why i find that kind of personality or behavior totally annoying...

posted January 30, 2010 05:50 PM         

I never thought of it in regards to growing up. I have 4 brothers, so maybe that is it. I just don't know HOW to be alone?

posted January 30, 2010 06:04 PM         

i can go either way, but i can't be "overboard" or what i feel is overboard as in calling someone because i'm suddenly alone at the dinner table or having my boyfriend call me or text me throughout the day while i'm at work. that annoys me because that crosses the personal and professional boundaries. i don't like mixing personal life with the professional life in that way. like sometimes at work we'll have projects where we need testers and some people will actually bring their significant others to do testing. you won't ever see me doing that.

posted January 30, 2010 06:15 PM         

I used to work with this one girl at a doctors office. She constantly had her phone in her pocket texting (cause if the doc caught you, it wasn't pretty) and she also had her own office. I had to go in there all the time because that is where the fax machine was at, anyway, every time I went in there, she was on the phone with her SO, or her kids, or her sibs.

But, the weird thing was that she would try and bring outsiders into her conversations. So, like whoever walked into the office at the time, she would say, in my case, for example, "OMG, Gypsee, you won't believe what Joe just said/did!"

Seems like people like this are trying to validate that they have a "special" life, different than yours. That sounds weird, but maybe you know what I am trying to say.

Either way, she did draw alot of "groupies" as girls were constantly in her office, chomping at the bit to hear the latest in what Joe, or Jim, or Jane did and said.

posted January 30, 2010 06:50 PM         

sorry this post is digressing into more of one about secretive folks than codependant ones....but my mercury is in cancer. sun/merc cancer, venus/moon gemini. a while back glaucus noted my descendant being in acquarius and mentioned characteristics about that that may explain why i attract aloof/unemotional types...which is ironic because i'm like that. that is probably why i'm annoyed by overly unaloof and emotional types ;-)

posted January 30, 2010 09:24 PM         

She said people who spend too much time alone are wierd and that there is something wrong with them, that people need to have a social life outside themselves because people were not meant to be alone regardless of how hard you try to convince yourself, that you need no one.

She's the kind of person who is so interesting that people just flock to her and they love to be around her even if she does degrade them once in awhile

I think she was prefering to me because I am very distant, I put an emphasis on very and because of that distance, I didn't see myself wanting to be around her often and I guess that struck a cord in her..=S

She's not a bad person, she's quite fun to be around but the whole partying/hooking up life it's just not for me..

posted January 30, 2010 10:56 PM         

i think i was talking more about people who can't handle being alone for two seconds versus those who can be alone. not like a complete loner, but more like they can handle going on break by themselves once in a while or go shopping by themselves once in a while. not always being alone. having a bit of a middle ground, know what i mean?

i can go both ways. i was once reminded by a friend how i'm never by myself when at work. i rarely wander around the building on my own. if i take a break or eat lunch, i'm always with people, but i don't ask, i just have a bunch of people i rotate to hang around with. however, i can handle going to get my own lunch or going to run errands alone. i need social contact and i need space like most everyone else.

posted January 31, 2010 12:28 AM         

Actually I have no idea why some people can not fathom solitude, I've seen some people go through a depression when their bf/gf/s.o were away at work or school.

I have a friend who breaks up with a guy if he is not constantly calling/texting/e-mailing/iming, she gets very lonely when she has to be single for too long.

I've come to accept and understand that she finds comfort and security with being in a relationship and I am use to meeting or hearing about a new boyfriend whenever we hang out.

I've noticed these kind of people are attracted to me and my closest friends are what you would call "clingy and needy" but I am sort of use to it...

..Except it is very difficult for these kind of people to accept that things do end for a reason, people grow up and move on. It is like they can not let go and accept change in life for "another person" because it is only acceptable when "they" are ready for it.

I think the attraction of people like this has something to do with my Capricorn North Node/Cancer South Node..

posted January 31, 2010 01:37 AM         

i have a few male friends who are clingy and needy. if anything i find clingy & needy can also mean possessive and jealous. one male friend is surprisingly clingy and needy in a relationship. maybe not in friendship but in a relationship it's a different story. he's the one who will be on the phone a few times a day with his loved one and will get mad and stuff if he doesn't have constant communication.

i don't know if i can handle that. even for my one true destined love. my twin soul. my other half. my one who completes me. it's like he better not disturb me when i'm at work because he couldn't stand not hearing my voice for 2 seconds or i'm gonna have to get rid of him.

i like the feeling of knowing that our love is so strong that even in absence of communication or even being at each other's side....the feeling is still there and just as strong. off topic, but i find that kind of love or whatever feeling much more powerful and much more romantic.

i prefer that kind of love as opposed to like "proving" it in terms of multiple calls and texts. i absolutely hate IM and text messaging. i don't do either. i can't stand facebook either. people will text me or call me on my cell and i won't receive them until days later.

posted January 31, 2010 02:41 PM         

I don't mind it when people need to be around other people because I completely understand. Sometimes I need it too. I have a Libra Moon, after all.

posted January 31, 2010 04:15 PM         

i do enjoy others' company too, but in serious MODERATION!

i have a pisces moon...and pluto on the sun + scorp MC, which means taurus IC (love of the outdoors and affinity with natural friends)

posted January 31, 2010 05:42 PM         

I've realized that, I want to have people around me all the time, but I want to do my own thing while they are there.
If my kids aren't home, I feel edgy, and...umm...it's like a lack of security or something.
Yet, when the house is full, I'm much more content, although, I don't sit in the living room watching tv with them. Cause they watch stuff I hate, and won't compromise, darn kids.
But, it's ok, I stay in my room on the computer, or reading/writing, whatever.
We interact sporadically when I go into the kitchen to cook something or put a load of laundry in.

Not saying I never spend time with them, I do. I help with homework, and always listen to "what happened at school today."

posted February 01, 2010 02:37 AM         

Pets. That's me. Never without 2 or 3 dogs, 2 or 3 birds. Always noise around me.