posted April 14, 2010 09:23 AM            

Anyone else care to share?

------------------

quote:

---

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

---

posted April 15, 2010 02:36 AM            

So when Granny took me to a Baptist church hoping I'd make friends before school started and get introduced and all I was completely unprepared for the hellfire preacher. These are preachers who try to make you claw at the pew because you're scared you're going to slide into Hell for your vile sinning nature, and some people love this kind (but then many love slasher flicks, too), and even take pride in going to one. Granny hadn't been to church for years and she said she remembered why after taking me.

So I went to Sunday school, which was ok, and then I met Granny for church. Granny had me dressed in a very pretty dress and other things to make me look cute. I was also not very pubescent yet (a doctor said I needed to gain weight for that) and was small enough that my head only came up to the preacher's chest (though the preacher was tall).

The preacher stared hard at me (other kids later told me he did this with all the new kids who showed up) and began a rant from the Bible, hellfire & brimstone sermon about the wages of sin, etc. For all his dire shouting & warning (which I just didn't have enough context to appreciate), I thought it very rude that he STARED at me (and he was rude, he was directing it specifically at me, practically calling me the ***** of Babylon).

So I reached into Granny's purse and pulled out a handful of gummi worms and popped them in my mouth. I chewed for a minute to give him a chance to stare at someone else for a change. He didn't. So I opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out with the chewed up worms on them.

My 13-year-old logic was that he'd be so disgusted that he would stop staring at me.

It didn't work. In fact, he went downright thermal. Maybe Hell wasn't opening up beneath my feet, but he sure was channeling it through him. People in front began to turn around to see what had him so worked up and then Granny slapped my leg hard and I swallowed the gummi worms. The preacher never stopped staring & ranting & trying to menace me with Hell.

As soon as the show, er service, was over he made sure to intercept Granny and ask who I was, and Granny tried to make him somewhat sympathetic for me. But after he heard I was from Houston he stared at me and started saying how they in the town didn't like "punks from the big city" and other condemnations and how he wouldn't let someone like me corrupt their town, and he just wasn't stopping. So he didn't like me, I didn't care because I didn't like him either. It was obvious he thought himself impressive the way he stood like a rooster & crowed like one at times.

I finally lost my patience with him and asked snarkily, "Do you know just how boring you are?"

At that his face went red again and he returned to thermal and as he really began a rant Granny pulled me away.

She scolded me hard on the drive home, fearing this would make me an outcast. But I did like at one point where she muttered, "But you ARE 13, what's HIS excuse. Man of God my ass." I was careful to not let her see me smile by looking out the car window.

In some ways Granny's fears were justified in that many gave me a hard time and lied about me being a literal satanist and other crazy stuff. But other kids who saw me there thought I was really cool so I instantly had friends (granted the "bad crowd") as soon as I started school there.

posted April 16, 2010 06:44 PM            

Another time I was up early alone, I set fire in the loungeroom. It was a Satrday and I was watching cartoons. I had moved all the longe chairs closer together and had a big blanket spread over them, so it was like a tent. Anyway, I wanted to have a campfire. So I did. I heard someone moving in the bedroom so I moved the "fire" to the lounge chair and put the cshion over it. When my father came out, the lounge chair was smoking. I really didn't get the fire started. It was just a bit of smoke. But lucky he woke up, otherwise I could have started a real fire. I think I was 8.

Thinking back, in all my memories I seem to be a bit naughty. Maybe my mother was right to be a bit strict.

posted April 20, 2010 07:41 AM            

Then we went to show off to his Mom & Dad.

posted May 10, 2010 02:16 AM            

------------------

quote:

---

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

---

posted February 15, 2012 12:30 PM            

------------------

quote:

---

Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

---

posted February 15, 2012 02:57 PM            

My parents, understandably, we're incredibly frightened. Frantic, they called the police department (consisting primarily of an older gentleman, Sgt Bull). He found me wandering around and playing with the half-feral river cats. When he brought me back home, my parents, still scared but bubbling up towards anger, said, "C___! You know not to go anywhere alone! What were you thinking?!?"
My reply?
"I wasn't alone - I was with Winston."

posted February 17, 2012 11:11 PM            

Next thing I knew there was a police officer in the kitchen interviewing my mother (i was watching, peeking from my hiding place). They had the whole squad along with all their dogs out searching for me.

I came out a little while later, helicopters buzzing around and neighbors about to organize a search. Dogs were already searching the nearby river thinking I probably drowned there.

And there the search ended! and I got a spanking!

posted February 18, 2012 01:45 AM            

lol ;P