posted May 13, 2010 02:22 PM         

around 3pm, thursday, a 7-8 mo. pregnant woman came into my office, which is second floor in a suite, and said she was looking for so and such company, she thought they would give her 7 bucks for her diabetes medicine. so i gave it to her and told her that I prayed that God would send me someone to bless. and she got big tears in her eyes and told me she had been praying for two days that she would have the money for her medicine when it ran out. I have no doubts that he led her straight to me, so He could give her what she asked him for.

Isn't life Amazing!

posted May 13, 2010 02:26 PM         

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What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world is immortal"~

posted May 13, 2010 02:34 PM         

However, doesn't Medicaid still pay for Diabetic meds and all?

posted May 13, 2010 02:36 PM         

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"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with in us."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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posted May 13, 2010 02:48 PM         

all i could think of, was I asked Him for something, and she asked Him for something and He connected the dots. He must love her a whole lot.

posted May 13, 2010 06:05 PM         

It's people like you cpn, who are literally a God send. I'm agnostic, so I have different beliefs, but the universe gives us what we need sometimes. May not be what we want. And I so believe it comes back to you.

I had a time once when I had a very common looking little black hand purse. I went shopping during christmas season at the mall and I tucked the purse under my arm so I could have both hands free to look at some shirts. After I was done looking, I looked down at the stack of shirts and saw what I thought was my purse. I tucked it under the other arm and didn't even realize I had 2 purses until I went to the cashier to pay for my things. I then realized I had 2 purses and noticed the one that I picked up was buldging with money. I bit my toungue and turned it in to the cashier.

I can't remember how much longer after that, but I was heading out for the night and I put that same purse on top of my truck when I got in, only I forgot I put it up there. So I drove to where I was going and realized what I had done. Thinking I was screwed because I had a good amount of money in it as well as my ID. I went home and my mom stood at the doorway holding my purse. She said someone saw it fall off my truck and drove it home to me...money included.

That was my karmic pay back...

posted May 17, 2010 09:21 PM         

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People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I'm sure the people in group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the situation is a fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there's a whole lot of people in group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they're looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever's going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?

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From the film "SIGNS"

I'm in group number one, even without astrology.
The group that believes people are good, God is very much watching, and that people don't just stand back and watch someone get hurt.

I guess all are in that group, the ones who do astrology. Otherwise, why the hell are you here?

On a side note, and without preaching (People should do more of that) ....
who cannot look at themselves, look at the world, while seeing the creation in everything. and come to the conclusion that we are not alone and no-one can hide from what happens after this life in the body ends.

posted May 17, 2010 09:49 PM         

As for how I understand it, astrology can be good and bad and gives a frame of reference to work with. It doesn't mean that we believe everything that happens will be to our benefit or that all will be good for all people (or even that everything is written in stone, with no other factors and randomness at work--I myself see astrology as more seeing which way the winds prevail, not Unbreakable Fate, which gives it purpose and also admits to a certain element of unpredictability).

Btw, as a Libran, I'd also point out that not all people who believe in a certain amount of randomness live in fear, some of them are especially pleased when things work out for them and can be driven to make sure they're capable of handling themselves in a crisis, which I see as a good thing (as long as it doesn't become obsession).

As for those who believe God watches over them, they can come to feel entitled and bitter when life turns against them, and some people really do contribute to their own (and others) misfortune with the attitude of "God is bigger than any mugger." Like wasn't it Laura Bush who ran a stop sign and killed someone because she was sure God wouldn't let anything bad happen?

It also raises the questions of many abused and victimized as children why God didn't love them, if God watches over them and makes sure a miracle is there to protect others but not them...I know that the idea of a loving God watching all that actually more creepy than comforting.

posted May 17, 2010 10:59 PM         

Dervish have you thought of taking a holiday? I would but it's Taurus birthday time & there's loads of chocolate cake to be had so, you see. I just can't leave.

posted May 18, 2010 05:46 AM         

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If God is watching and dishing out the miracles, etc, then why are you into astrology? God is running the whole show anyway.

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If the show is your life, then you are running it. Otherwise, yeah. Big picture an all that!
If you can tell someone an accurate prediction and/or keep guessing correct ASC, that would mean some order and structure to life. Not everyone can see them miracles daily because of ignorance on astrology.

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As for how I understand it, astrology can be good and bad and gives a frame of reference to work with. It doesn't mean that we believe everything that happens will be to our benefit or that all will be good for all people (or even that everything is written in stone, with no other factors and randomness at work--I myself see astrology as more seeing which way the winds prevail, not Unbreakable Fate, which gives it purpose and also admits to a certain element of unpredictability).

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Btw, as a Libran, I'd also point out that not all people who believe in a certain amount of randomness live in fear, some of them are especially pleased when things work out for them and can be driven to make sure they're capable of handling themselves in a crisis, which I see as a good thing (as long as it doesn't become obsession).

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As for those who believe God watches over them, they can come to feel entitled and bitter when life turns against them, and some people really do contribute to their own (and others) misfortune with the attitude of "God is bigger than any mugger." Like wasn't it Laura Bush who ran a stop sign and killed someone because she was sure God wouldn't let anything bad happen?

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It also raises the questions of many abused and victimized as children why God didn't love them, if God watches over them and makes sure a miracle is there to protect others but not them...I know that the idea of a loving God watching all that actually more creepy than comforting.

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A little creepy that thought. Lets not mention ghosts either, in case you wanted to entertain the idea. Or go down that rabbit hole. We started off stark bollock naked, so if someone really watches, he (or she) is seeing us in our purist and original form, without all the clothes and whatever layered over.

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And I could go on, but I'll defy my Libran sun now and shut up.

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posted May 18, 2010 05:57 PM         

Though I recall reading of one woman's account (from her own perspective in first person--this was real, btw, not fiction) how she had been camping with her lover when a man murdered her lover and kidnapped her, raped her, stabbed her several times, and she finally escaped, naked and bleeding, into the snowy woods at night. Even though she had escaped the vile man who had her, she realized her chances were still unlikely that she'd survive. And then she said (in her writing) that what kept her going is that God hadn't let her die yet, he wasn't going to let her die now.

That worked for her. Great. But that utterly gobsmacked me. A god that would allow people you love to be murdered, you to be horrifically tortured and scarred, but not let you die, doesn't sound like a good god to me. In fantasy lit, the gods that do that are considered evil, even something demons do.

But I can accept what wouldn't work for me did work for her. But I have to add that I still have a permanent scar from where I was slashed and I had been held prisoner once by someone who would almost certainly have killed me. But I didn't call out to any god, I simply didn't give up. Perhaps if I had believed in a god to save me I might've wasted precious time praying for deliverance rather than working to free myself of my bindings (which took hours of nonstop effort).

An interesting experiment I did once was pray, to see if it would make a positive difference in my life. What was so interesting is that EVERYTHING I prayed for went wrong, even that which shouldn't. That was just as amazing and against the odds as if everything I prayed for had happened as I asked.

Conversely, I used to cast spells, too, and that actually worked very well for me, even to the point that I stopped thinking of magic as mere a mere booster of a positive attitude and started thinking of it more as "coinci-dance."

I eventually came to think of it as my own early life affecting this: when I was young I found adults scary and untrustworthy, but I COULD depend on myself. One of the most vivid memories that I know shaped me into who I am today was when I was 5 and my parents were hungover (and I learned better to wake them to feed me), I scooted up a chair, grabbed a spatula & wooden spoon (2 trips) and pried open the cereal cabinet and managed to coax out a box of Cheerios. The rest was easy and a glowing feeling of "I can do it by myself!" filled me and I never wanted to lose that.

So maybe my mind affected the prayer experiment subconsciously by shaping it to be like my early childhood so that spells worked great for me, but prayer did not.

Another possibility is that a goddess prevented my prayers, too, as I had a vision when I was 15 (I don't feel like sharing that story right now) of Freya telling me She Sung me into Existence and wanted me to be strong, not some "eternal child" as others seek to be of the gods (this was actually all song and music that I understood as words). Perhaps then She sabotaged me in that just to keep me independent. Who knows?

posted May 20, 2010 09:38 PM         

i thought a lot about this and hope i dont get interrupted while i try to answer you, because it is important to me.

first of all, i don't have all of the answers. i dont even pretend to. i, like you have had many experiences that other people would not even comprehend. things that have happened that i don't even like to think about let alone talk about, i could never do is freely as you do. who could beat a toddler to the point of almost killing? unheared of. i have experienced horrendous things..as a child and as an adult..i look at little kids and say in my heart who could ever hurt a child? who could do such a thing? many many things i have been through. bad things. things in my life that even made me so mad at God that while i still believed in him, i was mad because i didnt understand how he could allow these things to happen. i dont have those answers. nor can i explain how most christians leave a bad taste in my mouth, becasue of hypocracy and religion. i don't even like organized religion. as far as astrology, i believe that he mapped out the heavens. i would never try to make another believe as i do, as i dont like people trying to make me believe what they believe and have a real problem with that. so i would never do that to someone else.

i was told god hated me all of my life. as in he wanted me to suffer and was happy when i suffered because that is what i deserved. it took me so long to realize that it is not the case at all. that god isn't like that, people are like that. not god. we all have free will.

i cant say exactly when i realised that he loved me so much. why did he allow me to suffer horrible things, i don't know. i studied near death experiences and all had one thing in common, the most accepting love like no human could know or explain, i have felt that love and that is how i want to treat other people, with the accepting warmest, look past faults love that i experienced.

my dad almost dies last night and is terminally ill. tonight at the hospital he told me that he had such an experience last night. his heart stopped and he quit breathing and he saw angels all around singing. i believe him. i have seen spirits, angels and entitiies, and know there is more to this world than we can see touch taste feel. i cant question my own experiences.

all i know for sure is, god's love, devine love and acceptance, changed something inside of me. it isnt like anything i had been taught. it isnt like anything i ever heared in a church, because i find most christians, or profess to love god, dont even know who he is, and the pure love that he has. i realised i was a precious person in his eyes. why he allowed someone precious in his eyes to suffer, i have no idea. but i can't not believe something that i know and something that is so real to me.

i don't ask anyone to believe as i do, and i lived with an athiest for a while, who would say to me, why do you pray, no one is listening, and i always thought to myself, never said it to her, i would rather be worng in my shoes believing... than be wrong in your shoes when all of this is said done and over.

but i neer said a word, because how shebelieves is her business. i cant help it i love god. i am not afraid to die, becasue i know he loves me to. and he brings me comfort that nothing else could ever bring. no one can take that away from me, sometimes it is all i have.

i dont have all the answers, but i dont question anymore, its just something i know, i am loved, i am precious and that means something to me. everything.

posted May 21, 2010 03:49 AM         

I like how detailed you went, ty. I am ever trying to understand the human condition, it's just something I'm driven to do even though I realize it will do me little good if even that. So even when it's not some philosophical essay heavy on reason and all that, just personal experience as can be best understood, I find it interesting.

Anyway, a few comments, some trivial, some not...

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i was told god hated me all of my life. as in he wanted me to suffer and was happy when i suffered because that is what i deserved. it took me so long to realize that it is not the case at all. that god isn't like that, people are like that. not god.

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This reminded me of a quote I came across recently:

"Men rarely (if ever) managed to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child." -Robert A. Heinlein

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i would rather be worng in my shoes believing... than be wrong in your shoes when all of this is said done and over

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I can see how this works for you. But others believe in God and suffer endlessly for it, in some cases it appearing their belief in God drove them to suicide.

For example, Romans 1 says God will turn those he hates gay, and some raised on that who ARE gay are not only afraid to tell their family & friends, but wonder why did God make them this way? And a friend of mine voted against an antigay measure in 2004 and though she felt she had done the right thing she felt God was horribly disappointed in her and that she may be going to hell for doing what she knew to be right.

I'm also reminded of how a church group got rid of Huckleberry Finn from a school I went to because of the scene where Huck realizes that by helping a slave escape, he is a thief (like someone who helped a cow escape a farm) and writes a letter to let the slave's owner where the slave can be found and to pray for forgiveness for having stolen...only to find he can't pray for forgiveness and he rips up the letter saying he'd rather burn in Hell than return Jim to slavery. And the church group was scared we'd get the idea that we could decide for ourselves what was right & wrong rather than what the Bible said (btw, the Bible itself does condone slavery).

The point being, sometimes a belief in God can make people suffer as well as be exploited, so sometimes it's better to not believe at all, at least no more than an agnostic anyway. And when people tell me what god wants, I say if that's true then let that god come tell me personally rather than sending someone who I don't know if is sincere or lying, a true messenger or just deluded (for that matter, whoever said a god would have my best interest at heart or would tell the truth when myths, including the Bible, show the gods or God willing to lie when it suits them to do so?).

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the more i give, the more i am blessed

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As long as it doesn't become an example of the widow who became a burden on society by giving all she had (unless she intended to die in short order), I think I can understand this. I do nice things for people all the time and feel better for it, though I get annoyed when others think I'm OBLIGATED to. I used to give to the homeless directly until some started to treat me disrespectfully and worse because of it.

An odd story you'll probably like, though it's just an enigma to me. An agnostic friend of mine was staying at a motel when he saw a panhandler. So as he ordered a meal he got a special that gave him more than he wanted to go, took whatever he wanted out and ate it on the spot and then went out and let her have the rest of it. She showed enough gratitude for even that so he didn't regret it (though he was close to homeless himself and thought he shouldn't be giving anything away), and when he got back to his motel he got bored and flipped through the Bible randomly and the first page it opened up to was Jesus saying as you help the least then you're being Christ-like or words to that effect. He was agnostic then but he got bumps over the synchronicity of it.

And a personal experience of mine is when I seemed to have trapped kundalini and I was given an exercise to clear it, and without meaning to I spontaneously had very vivid memories of past lives (as I felt the trapped kundalini shoot up my spine and out of my head). In one I was a pirate and when I was killed I left that form and was simply Love. But this was hellish because I felt the pain I had inflicted both directly & indirectly on loved ones and enemies alike, purposely and otherwise, and even though I knew my enemies, including the soldier who killed me, would also face this same terrible reckoning of looking back and knowing only love & compassion--which becomes hellish viewing the suffering, especially when it was you that inflicted some of it in a tragic dance--I could only cry for them rather than take comfort that I wasn't going to be the only one to endure this. Actually, it was hellish enough that I think it was worse than the hellfire many others imagine, and the possibility that this is an accurate memory (I was convinced at the time it happened) gives me pause at times when I wonder what to do next.

posted May 21, 2010 08:19 AM         

yeah i understand that first hand.

posted May 21, 2010 09:05 AM         

I feel like I had to lose my religion to experience the fullness of my soul and acceptance of Spirit.

I've had many personal experiences that are "odd" and I wonder why I am still here.
I had one odd experience of being approached by a homeless man telling a very heart grabbing story yet I "had a bad feeling" about him. The instant I denied him he lunged toward me. Luckily I was in the car with my husband and we ended up okay.

The experience left me quite shaken, wondering if I had done the right thing. Like what if this was a test and I failed. The bible tells that both good and evil are of God and so it can ALL be very confusing.

For instance the lowest of the low prey upon givers through clever disguise, wolves in sheep's clothing. To me enlightenment is knowing that we are, at the Godseed and root level capable of all acts, from the lowest of the low to the highest of the high.