posted December 16, 2010 05:07 PM            

1. why did you choose to pursue your education in your major (program of study)
2. What are your long-term personal and professional goals as well as the qualities and characteristics you possess to reach these goals?
3. What personal and professional accomplishments and experiences have had the greatest impact in developing your goals and aspirations?
4. How will this scholarship and attending our school help you reach your goals?

*Essay*
Everyone has a dream, that’s destined for greatness. All my life there has been this desire inside me to give more, be more. I’ve always wanted to make a difference in the world by helping others. I feel that becoming a nurse will give me the opportunity to give to others in a way in which I can help and heal them. I want to pursue the phlebotomy certificate program at the Graduate School because I feel that it will help me get one step closer to becoming a nurse and it will allow me the chance to build my experience in the healthcare field while I pursue a nursing degree.

I cannot remember a time in my life in which I was not fascinated with people and body mechanics. When I had first found the Discovery Health Channel on TV, I fell in love with nursing. I saw the roles of the staff and how they all work together to help make life for patients easier and I knew I wanted to become a nurse and own my own women’s clinic.

As a phlebotomy technician, I will develop medical skills in laboratory testing so I can help mankind through providing research and aid, in the medical quest to find cures for today’s deadly infectious diseases that plague our community. On a more personal note, my great-grandmother died of cancer several years ago. I remember feeling helpless, as I watched her suffer and wanted to help. If I could become a phlebotomy technician, I would be able to help my patients and save lives.

In addition to my regular academic work at the College of Southern Maryland, I have also completed a Certified Nursing Assistant Certificate (CNA) and Geriatric Nursing Assistant Certificate (GNA). Utilizing my nursing certification, I obtained employment in a nursing facility which allowed me to express my skills of dedication and compassion through diligence. My job as a GNA was a very beneficial experience for me because it allowed me to see all the work involved in nursing and managing a nursing center. I learned teamwork on the job and I saw how important teamwork is for running a nursing center free of problems.

I know that I have sets goals that require focus and determination. With the recent economic struggles facing our nation today, which has affected my family, obtaining a good quality education has become even more of a financial burden. The scholarship program at the Graduate School will help alleviate some of the financial costs associated with pursing my college education. Together with the help of the Graduate School and their scholarship program, I will achieve certification as a phlebotomist, thus, making my dream of becoming a nurse a reality.

posted December 20, 2010 02:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MiaMammy08:
Everyone has a dream, that’s destined for greatness. All my life there has been this desire inside me to give more, be more. I’ve always wanted to make a difference in the world by helping others. I feel that becoming a nurse will give me the opportunity to give to others in a way in which I can help and heal them. I want to pursue the phlebotomy certificate program at the Graduate School because I feel that it will help me get one step closer to becoming a nurse and it will allow me the chance to build my experience in the healthcare field while I pursue a nursing degree.

I cannot remember a time in my life in which I was not fascinated with people and body mechanics. When I had first found the Discovery Health Channel on TV, I fell in love with nursing. I saw the roles of the staff and how they all work together to help make life for patients easier and I knew I wanted to become a nurse and own my own women’s clinic.

As a phlebotomy technician, I will develop medical skills in laboratory testing so I can help mankind through providing research and aid, in the medical quest to find cures for today’s deadly infectious diseases that plague our community. On a more personal note, my great-grandmother died of cancer several years ago. I remember feeling helpless, as I watched her suffer and wanted to help. If I could become a phlebotomy technician, I would be able to help my patients and save lives.

In addition to my regular academic work at the College of Southern Maryland, I have also completed a Certified Nursing Assistant Certificate (CNA) and Geriatric Nursing Assistant Certificate (GNA). Utilizing my nursing certification, I obtained employment in a nursing facility which allowed me to express my skills of dedication and compassion through diligence. My job as a GNA was a very beneficial experience for me because it allowed me to see all the work involved in nursing and managing a nursing center. I learned teamwork on the job and I saw how important teamwork is for running a nursing center free of problems.

I know that I have sets goals that require focus and determination. With the recent economic struggles facing our nation today, which has affected my family, obtaining a good quality education has become even more of a financial burden. The scholarship program at the Graduate School will help alleviate some of the financial costs associated with pursing my college education. Together with the help of the Graduate School and their scholarship program, I will achieve certification as a phlebotomist, thus, making my dream of becoming a nurse a reality.

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posted December 20, 2010 11:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MiaMammy08:
Any help is appreciated.
* 400-500 words
* use proper grammar and spelling
* address all the questions

1. why did you choose to pursue your education in your major (program of study)
2. What are your long-term personal and professional goals as well as the qualities and characteristics you possess to reach these goals?
3. What personal and professional accomplishments and experiences have had the greatest impact in developing your goals and aspirations?
4. How will this scholarship and attending our school help you reach your goals?

*Essay*
Everyone has a dream, that’s destined for greatness. All my life there has been this desire inside me to give more, be more. I’ve always wanted to make a difference in the world by helping others. I feel that becoming a nurse will give me the opportunity to give to others in a way in which I can help and heal them. I want to pursue the phlebotomy certificate program at the Graduate School because I feel that it will help me get one step closer to becoming a nurse and it will allow me the chance to build my experience in the healthcare field while I pursue a nursing degree.

I cannot remember a time in my life in which I was not fascinated with people and body mechanics. When I had first found the Discovery Health Channel on TV, I fell in love with nursing. I saw the roles of the staff and how they all work together to help make life for patients easier and I knew I wanted to become a nurse and own my own women’s clinic.

As a phlebotomy technician, I will develop medical skills in laboratory testing so I can help mankind through providing research and aid, in the medical quest to find cures for today’s deadly infectious diseases that plague our community. On a more personal note, my great-grandmother died of cancer several years ago. I remember feeling helpless, as I watched her suffer and wanted to help. If I could become a phlebotomy technician, I would be able to help my patients and save lives.

In addition to my regular academic work at the College of Southern Maryland, I have also completed a Certified Nursing Assistant Certificate (CNA) and Geriatric Nursing Assistant Certificate (GNA). Utilizing my nursing certification, I obtained employment in a nursing facility which allowed me to express my skills of dedication and compassion through diligence. My job as a GNA was a very beneficial experience for me because it allowed me to see all the work involved in nursing and managing a nursing center. I learned teamwork on the job and I saw how important teamwork is for running a nursing center free of problems.

I know that I have sets goals that require focus and determination. With the recent economic struggles facing our nation today, which has affected my family, obtaining a good quality education has become even more of a financial burden. The scholarship program at the Graduate School will help alleviate some of the financial costs associated with pursing my college education. Together with the help of the Graduate School and their scholarship program, I will achieve certification as a phlebotomist, thus, making my dream of becoming a nurse a reality.

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Hi MiaMammy,
I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of editing this piece mostly as an example. It still needs to be modified and given a bit more punch but you can use it if you like. You'll have to add about 157 words to it.

The first thing I did, I took out what are called weak words. Things like I feel, I know this is...but oh, the ecomony sucks. I need a better job. When you're writing a piece to convince you have to come across as stronng and confident. You have to let them know you deserve what you're asking for. Not a time to be humble.

The other thing I did was I moved things around and took out/fixed the clunky sentences to give the essay a nice flow. And to make it more comprehensive.

That said, I kept a lot of what you wrote I just played with it a bit. Again, hope you don't mind, just trying to help you out.

All my life I’ve had a desire to make a difference in the world. I want to help people, to be a part of their healing. The certificates I hold as a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) and Geriatric Nursing Assistant (GNA) reflects my dedication to people.

The Phlebotomy Certificate Program at the Graduate School will build upon my experience in the healthcare field. As a phlebotomy technician, I will develop medical skills in laboratory testing and research. I will be aiding in the quest to find cures for disease. This is very important to me because my great-grandmother died of cancer. I watched her suffer and we were both so helpless. I want to be helpful, I want to save people from the suffering my great- grandmother went through.

My ultimate goal is to be a Nurse Practioner (? Specify) and open my own women’s clinic. My experience as a Geriatic Nursing Assistant was most beneficial because it allowed me to work closely with patients and on a more practical note I got to see first hand what it takes to operate a nursing center well.