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Author
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Topic: Bullying
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Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1325
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 08:19 AM
  
What are the rules on bullying here, something that women (and Men) tend to do in a very underhanded subtle way. There have been a few people who have been bullied and left the site. What is the sites attitude to bullying and what can be done, especially if some of the moderators are doing the bullying themselves, like a pack of wolves?A constant theme on this or any site. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8558
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 18, 2011 08:44 AM
Coffee,dear,you have to learn to stand up for yourself.
This lesson will take you a long way in life cuz it is the same,anywhere and everywhere.
Randall is one of the most awesome men I know but he cannot watch every thread for bullying.
It would be a full time job and he has one lol Even ,beyond that,though, you will learn to walk through bullying if you are to persist,here. *I* hope you do. I know you can!
Many people HAVE left. Randall cannot sanitize LL for people JUST as no one can sanitize real life for us,Darling. Stay and ride it out  ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1620
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 08:50 AM
coffee,
You chose a hot-button topic and stated so your self. Many have been hurt by this issues either in childhood or as a parent. It evokes emotions and a challenging post gets challenged.
quote:
They didn't sign up to have a part-time kid, no matter what society says about the male personality (off to earn some cash to raise the family and spread more seed.)
By doing so then saying :
quote:
Thought I might get a reaction. 
encouraged more reactions. I don`t see you bullied but rather you received the emotional response you seemed to invite.  ------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
iQ
Knowflake Posts: 2620
From: Chennai, India
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 08:56 AM
Bullied by ladies? You? A Scorpio Mars? Impossible.IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1325
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 09:00 AM
I do not control peoples reactions. They do. They could have been objective, but they were not, they seemed to take it personal for some reason, when all I was asking for is cold hard fact. Maybe they should learn to use their head instead of heart.It's like all their past history with Men is transferred onto me. Are these people not grown up enough to not take it out out me? have they not got control of their emotions? Is that my fault because I should say something that would get a reaction, just like anything else I, or another might say? Or do you look at a person reaction and think 'this guy is not their previous history' so why are they bugging on him? For grown adults, this is pathetic. Any comments on bullying other than me? If many people are leaving there is a reason for that, if they are still leaving, maybe the bullying is far too much and far too little is being done about it. What needs to be done in order to stop the bullying? Something on this site is very toxic. Do people want this cleaned up? If Randall has no time, then are the mods (hopefully ones not doing the bullying) responsible for stopping the bullying? IP: Logged |
abcd efg
Knowflake Posts: 206
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 18, 2011 09:05 AM
edited as i forgot to quoteIP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8558
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 18, 2011 09:05 AM
Coffee Darling
One MOD left,recently,from Bullying.I tried to tell her that no one can make her feel inferior without her consent.
She could not hear.
She left.
If the environment WERE sanitized,it would be like Communist Russia.
These things are how people ARE.As long as you are in this world,dear, these things are here.
When you walk out your door, they are there.
Learn how to walk THROUGH,not away  ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
abcd efg
Knowflake Posts: 206
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 18, 2011 09:06 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Coffee,dear,you have to learn to stand up for yourself.
This lesson will take you a long way in life cuz it is the same,anywhere and everywhere.
Randall is one of the most awesome men I know but he cannot watch every thread for bullying.
It would be a full time job and he has one lol Even ,beyond that,though, you will learn to walk through bullying if you are to persist,here. *I* hope you do. I know you can!
Many people HAVE left. Randall cannot sanitize LL for people JUST as no one can sanitize real life for us,Darling. Stay and ride it out
 IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1620
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 09:08 AM
quote:
I do not control peoples reactions. They do.
Were you using your head or heart (objective or subjective) when you said 2 members had evil running through them? Two sides coffee and both here has an investment of sorts, yes? What do you suggest I or other mods do to stop perceived bullying here? What do you suggest I or other mods do about hot button topics? What can I or other mods do to force posters to be objective? ------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8558
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 18, 2011 09:13 AM
If *I* ,as a Mod, tried to stop the bullying,it would be a pig pile conflagration.
*I* can ,only, help to strengthen EACH person such as you by being your friend and helping you on an individual basis which I would love to do,if you would have me !------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1325
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 09:15 AM
I have experienced bullying on a grand scale, where, it seems, no-one was helping. I've put up with a lot. You can't get rid of it completely, but you sure can eradicate most of it. How? Providing strict guidelines and sanctions against the bullies. Give them warnings, and don't be afraid of telling them to go. Otherwise, this site would seem to be a little soft on bullying, which makes this a very hostile environment. While this site refuses to do something about the bullying, the message goes out that bullying is ok. How many people have been banned on here for bullying others? There is no way, it seems, to contact someone or report posts other than personal e--mail (if you have friends here) and while heated discussion is allowed, there is no marker to go against when a few people overstep the mark. How many people have been banned for bullying? None? IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8558
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 18, 2011 09:17 AM
If you stay,Coffee,in a year,YOU will help someone who is bullied like *I* am helping you!
You will get strong in your daily life,as well as on here.
It is a blessing Randall does not stop petty bullying.
Then, we would need a Randall to follow us throughout our daily life.
When the Randall went away, we would be bullied,again.
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Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1620
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 09:22 AM
No matter how you look at it, bullying is defined differently by each person,yes? Oh so many times someone starts something then cries bully. They can`t see what started it or how to end it. If this thread becomes abusive, I know how to end it. Your points are taken coffee. ------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 8558
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 18, 2011 09:24 AM
I am glad Coffee highlighted this. It is time it is said outright not kept up in the attic like a mentally ill relative ------------------
Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2240
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 09:29 AM
Telling people that you don't like them, they have evil running through them and calling people stupid can be seen as bullying too Coffee. Such a reaction aggrivates a situation.IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1325
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 09:30 AM
There is talk, and there is action. This is just talk, all forgotten about, then more bullying. Always that pattern. How many people have been banned from this site because they bully?What is the grievance procedure? IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1620
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 09:32 AM
My point exactly Charmaine. Until coffee address the questions I ask, I will see this thread as a grumpyness rather than have serious any intent for change ------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1620
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 09:36 AM
Ami, I know coffee is your friend and I respect that. Please don`t aggravate the situtation. Thanks
edited typo of name.
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~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1325
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 09:50 AM
So, what do you reckon the profile is of a bully? Someone who lacks something? Intelligence, popularity, basic functioning skills?I can bully, but certainly not a bully. Would you preferred I kept quiet and bullied in an underhand way, or just came out and warned the person to stay away from me? Juniper, you seem to be wanting to attract a certain response, no aggravating of the situation going on there. Ami's post was fine. Did you call her Emi on purpose? the E key isn't next to the A key. right in front of our very eyes! Maybe these people do not fear reprisals. Lindland has failed to protect it's members from some nasty ones. It's happening right now. Very underhand. IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1325
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 10:05 AM
quote:
Originally posted by iQ:
Bullied by ladies? You? A Scorpio Mars? Impossible.
They're no ladies! IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 2240
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 10:06 AM
Juni is encouraging a solution with her questions,not trying to attract a certain response.IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1325
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 10:18 AM
When Juniperb says: quote:
Originally posted by juniperb:
Please don`t aggravate the situtation.
She is looking for a reaction, a pre-emptive strike. IP: Logged |
Coffee
Knowflake Posts: 1325
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 10:26 AM
Were you using your head or heart (objective or subjective) when you said 2 members had evil running through them?Objective. Many of the top people in society are aware there are forces at work, dark forces, that can 'take over' a person in order to say or do something bad against another. Maybe it was just the original person, or maybe these 'dark forces' took over another. The earth is a small dot in the vast universe. Many forces, good and bad out there. Objective. What do you suggest I or other mods do to stop perceived bullying here? Warning, then ban them. It's too soft. A clear guide on what constitutes bullying. Agree? IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 3996
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 18, 2011 11:01 AM
The way I see it, Coffee... is that you had this planned out.You expected a negative response to your offensive post. You refused to clarify your position. Then, you proceeded to pretend that your feelings "may have" been hurt by crying bully in order to get more response. Very clever. But, you are looking more and more like a puppet-master with larger motives for evil, than anyone on the other thread. Just saying. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 5122
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 11:03 AM
That's not objective, Coffee. What's evil to one person is good to another. The perception belongs to your mind, not the object itself.IP: Logged |
Topic Closed
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