posted April 19, 2011 05:13 AM            

Lindaland was a case of love at first sight. To someone who cares deeply about spiritual matters, very rarely finds stimulating intellectual conversation in his physical environment, and adores Linda Goodman, Lindaland in mid-2002, in its infancy, was an immeasurable blessing.

Yep, love at first sight. And something in me committed to her, a fact I've just now realized.

Unfortunately -- and this is common enough to have become a cliche -- once she wooed me and got the ring around my finger, she stopped working at the relationship. She started to favor mindless entertainment over actually talking to me. She gained 150 pounds. She let a big old ugly wart grow right in the middle of her forehead. (That's jwhop.)

*Sigh* Chogyam Trungpa was right. "There's no point thinking that a past exists that we could have now."

Mind you, I'm not saying Lindaland doesn't have her good qualities. But with my ruling planet in Virgo, it's really hard not to notice flaws. Especially in those you love.

When your Sun and Ascendant are right on top of each other, it's practically impossible to project any image to the world other than a true one. You just kind of let it all hang out -- because you don't seem to have a choice. And I've certainly done that here. Not that that's a revelation or anything; I've always known I was doing it, as I was doing it. But when you're in love, you think it's safe.

Anyway. I'm kind of rambling (but that's okay tonight). Back to my "trip down Amnesia Lane".

So, reading over my own words. Some of them shocked me for the lack of maturity/insight they revealed, and some made me feel a little proud of myself. You win some, you lose some. Nobody's perfect (but I much prefer those who try).

Here's something I said that was particularly insightful (as the intervening years have proven) and admirably concise (I said it to Randall in a thread about LL): "You've lost so many that meant so much here. Don't you see why? Don't you care?"

And it's true. Sadly, pathetically, true, that a lot of the people this site seems designed for, and who made good use of it, eventually couldn't tolerate what it had become and left.

I miss some of those people.

...just spent another two hours reading old posts, this time going all the way back. Amazing, how free and easy I was with my posts back then! But I felt like I belonged here, like I was welcome here, like I was wanted, like I was thought of as a valued contributor. And I tried to be... I remember how in the beginning I was always trying to add something useful and positive to the place. I need to start doing a lot more of that again...

Heck, Randall once cheered because I showed back up after a period of absence! I just about fell out of my chair with shock a few minutes ago when I came across that post. Years later, I came THIS --->| |<--- close to being banned from this site, which is not an easy trick, lemme tellya.

(Seriously, Randall. I was bullied as a child. A lot. Badly. I know what it feels like when the bigger and stronger (or just quicker of wit) hurt you for no good reason, and laugh while they're doing it because they know they're in a position that allows them to do so with impunity. Now, take that background, which gives me heart-wrenching empathy for every poor, unsuspecting soul that gets emotionally eviscerated in GU, and factor in that I'm a heavy Libra, someone who loves nothing better than to be karma's conduit... you gettin' the picture? The stars may only incline but in this case it's a pretty steep incline.)

...

I see that pixelpixie was here from the beginning, too. That probably didn't stick with me because I initially wrote her off as not very spiritual; then later we were really good friends for a while, and I accepted her Scorpion preoccupation with all things sexual. Then one day (and this has got to be the stupidest reason anyone ever wrote me off) I happened to share the opinion that I didn't like the name she chose for one of her children -- and she hasn't spoken to me since. (But I digress again.) Well, since I can't ask pixie, I'll ask you, Juniper -- why are we still here? What genetic brain defect do we have in common? (That was humor... at least partially.)

...

Well, crap. It's almost 4 a.m. here. Haven't sat up and Internetted this late in quite a while, he he! But this ageless old man can't do the all-nighters like he used to, so I'm going to lay down he last of what's in my head to say and call it a night.

Since my last go-round with this site I've matured some more. I'm a lot more tolerant, because my understanding has deepened. I take it less personally when people say and do things I don't agree with -- I now realize that they're just doing the best they can with what what they've got. None of us (well, very few, anyway) think of ourselves as "bad" people, and when we do something less-than-honorable it's because we don't know how else to respond, or are trapped in a habit pattern due to psychological conditioning by the experiences we've had. The whole good guys/bad guys thing is so played out, don't you think? (Though I still don't like bullies and that's an old sore spot, besides. Hey, I'm human.) What I'm trying to say is that, to put it really simply, from a casual observer's point of view, I've mellowed a bit over time. Or I just don't waste so much of my energy in self-defeating behavior. And I don't demonize people like I used to.

I guess I might as well accept that I'm still here, and "make good use of" the place. Do what Ghandi advised and "be the change you wish to see in the world." (That's a Guru's job, anyway, isn't it?) Hope that's okay with everyone.

Randall, thanks for the spot to babble in.

Catch y'all later, after I've had some sleep.

posted April 19, 2011 06:44 AM            

I'm not sure I understood everything in your post - but am I right in thinking you're hoping to be on LL more? If so, "Hi! I look forward to chatting to you more". I've been reading for a while but only posting recently.

I'm sorry you were bullied as a child, and I imagine its hard to ever really let that feeling go? I do wonder if the people who inflict such pain on others know the effect they are having long term and if they do, if it bothers them?

For what its worth, here in the UK there seems to be a good focus on anti-bullying campaigns recently, and lots of celebrities are putting their weight behind the message. Here's hoping it makes a difference!

Regards,
Rachel

posted April 19, 2011 09:31 AM            

The time flys by quickly and it has been about ten years here this spring.

Now Mac, you don`t think I`ve been sitting here moderating all this time do you?

As much as I love Lindaland, I took some quiet time to catch up on my studies, open my business and grieve for the loss of my Mother and Sister.

...Al tho, from time to time I would peek in to catch that ray of sunshine.

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

I am of the nature , those who spiritually or intellectually rub us wrong, may be the greatest Teachers of all. A gift hidden under a brown paper bag while the prettiest packages may tatter. So truely, there are no warts, just task makers , Human Saturns if you will.

Anyhow, on the other hand, the sturdy, faithful eyes of hope we found here once upon a time filled my heart with a promise that will never diminish. Their joy at just Being flavored LL and filled her with rich's. Without them, Lindaland`s foundation wouldn`t be the place we are posting today.

Time moves, people change with that time and we look at a new era, a new breed.

New Angels among us. A new challenge to fill us with hope, wonder and sorrow.

New rich's, dreams and a place for our personal evolution. We are never grown up, we always have more to learn , understand and goodness to find in others. To say another has lost their path is to point out our own lost footing.

I miss "what was" but I am delighted to live in the Now and watch her unfold and embrace us with the promises of another day, another chance to grow from the old prejudices , mistakes, or that proverbial mote in the eye.

It is not an errant brain cell but a heart that can embrace all that is as an unfolding of the Now. Perhaps a heart cell that can work towards embracing perceived warts as teachers and counts each and every one of us as brothers and sisters under the skin.

Not quite Emerson but a favorite that seems appropriate.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Keep the Faith and be part of the change you want to see.

a long winded juni

posted April 19, 2011 11:28 AM            

I take it as a compliment to have garnered so much of your keyboard time in response!

And, I love your unshakeable optimism. Something to which I have always aspired. Who knows? I might get there some day. (Frickin' Virgo influence... :P )

About teachers, though... what am I supposed to learn? How to ennable abuse by silence? I suppose if I lived in an apartment and heard my neighbor beating the crap out of his wife and kid, I should just take it as a learning experience? (Ohhh, wait... I just remembered: physical abuse is so much worse than emotional abuse that the latter isn't even worth mentioning by comparison [[or so has many a woman opined to me {unless she was trying to get sympathy, and emotional abuse was all she had to get it with. Then it becomes a true sin.} ]]. Well, when I do the math, I get a different answer.)

Speaking of math: boy, I must have been tired last night! 2011 - 2002 = 9, not 7. There's no way to edit the title of a string, is there?

RMChex: Hi! Nice to meet you. I've noticed your entry to the board but you hadn't posted anything yet that I could reply to. I wanted to, about 20 minutes ago, but my comment would have been an aside and I didn't want to chance derailing someone else's string. This one's mine, so I feel justified in taking it in any direction I like at any time. (You sid that CCTV's were really cheap in the UK, and I wanted to say "in the UK, just search your living room hard enough and you can "borrow" one of the government's for free.")

SunChild: being called gorgeous by you has got to be the most ironic thing anyone has ever said.

MoonWitch and lalalinda: try "paras".

posted April 19, 2011 11:36 AM            

Pack mentality, submission, spiritual enlightenment often turns into denial of others humans basic rights to communicate.

Lindaland is just fine. In fact, I feel that peace has been really good, recently. There's nothing wrong with Lindaland. Or the world or the future...

posted April 19, 2011 11:39 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rogue Guru:
"in the UK, just search your living room hard enough and you can "borrow" one of the government's for free."

---

How do you mean?

R

posted April 19, 2011 11:46 AM            

When life is slowly taken from them, and the spotlight moves onto the youth.

But, this is an important cycle of life. The beginnings and the ends... you can't keep anything preserved forever. And, even if you could, it may not be so great.

posted April 19, 2011 12:35 PM            

quote:

---

Just spent the last 2 1/2 hours (shameful waste of time, my superego scolds) reading over my old posts. Truly a boon of the Internet, for those of us that can't seem to be bothered with things like journals and photographs -- to be able to look back and see how far you've come (or not, as the case may be).

Lindaland was a case of love at first sight. To someone who cares deeply about spiritual matters, very rarely finds stimulating intellectual conversation in his physical environment, and adores Linda Goodman, Lindaland in mid-2002, in its infancy, was an immeasurable blessing.

Yep, love at first sight. And something in me committed to her, a fact I've just now realized.

---

LaLa,
that was the first thing that came to my mind as well

posted April 19, 2011 12:38 PM            

quote:

---

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

I am of the nature , those who spiritually or intellectually rub us wrong, may be the greatest Teachers of all. A gift hidden under a brown paper bag while the prettiest packages may tatter. So truely, there are no warts, just task makers , Human Saturns if you will.

Anyhow, on the other hand, the sturdy, faithful eyes of hope we found here once upon a time filled my heart with a promise that will never diminish. Their joy at just Being flavored LL and filled her with rich's. Without them, Lindaland`s foundation wouldn`t be the place we are posting today.

Time moves, people change with that time and we look at a new era, a new breed.

New Angels among us. A new challenge to fill us with hope, wonder and sorrow.

New rich's, dreams and a place for our personal evolution. We are never grown up, we always have more to learn , understand and goodness to find in others. To say another has lost their path is to point out our own lost footing.

I miss "what was" but I am delighted to live in the Now and watch her unfold and embrace us with the promises of another day, another chance to grow from the old prejudices , mistakes, or that proverbial mote in the eye.

It is not an errant brain cell but a heart that can embrace all that is as an unfolding of the Now. Perhaps a heart cell that can work towards embracing perceived warts as teachers and counts each and every one of us as brothers and sisters under the skin.

Not quite Emerson but a favorite that seems appropriate.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Keep the Faith and be part of the change you want to see.

---

posted April 19, 2011 12:40 PM            

quote:

---

I take it as a compliment to have garnered so much of your keyboard time in response!

---

oh no, it's Paris...

posted April 19, 2011 12:48 PM            

RMChex: I mean this and this. I won't be visiting your country anytime soon. How do you stand it?

quote:

---

From what I've learned, love and peace can also be used as weapons... ...It's our own projections and egoic need to control that makes it so.

---

posted April 19, 2011 01:26 PM            

What's your chart? Let us see! We'll show you ours if you show us yours...

You must have a lot of fire in you.

posted April 19, 2011 01:44 PM            

Yeah, lots of fire. But lots of air, too. (jokes about being full of hot air are equally predictable, everyone) Very little Earth or Water. Thank the gods, I wouldn't want to be a stick-in-the-mud anyway. No offense to all you overemotional materialists out there.