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Author
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Topic: WHYYYY am I an idiot magnet??!
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Fondue Knight
Knowflake Posts: 396
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 08, 2012 09:10 PM
  
So, I got an email from one of those dating site thingys notifying me that I have a new message. I haven't logged into this site in months because I just don't think I'm at the point with my life that I should be going around dating people. ANYWHO, I log in and the message read, "Hi! How are you?" which is just lazy as far as I'm concerned. After replying, against my better judgement, with generic pleasantries, I get a response that reads, "In doing ok, a bit ****** but whatever. How's your night?" Now... I don't get around much, but I WAS paying attention during Dating 101. WHY WOULD YOU OPEN A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE AND 2 SENTENCES IN MENTION THAT YOU'RE ****** ?! WHY is anyone in their right mind going to want to continue said conversation? I don't want to talk to someone in a shite mood unless they're already a friend, and even then... Ugh... This is like that date I went on last year in which conversation took a fatal turn down Daddy Issues Lane.  /rant IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 25726
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 08, 2012 09:11 PM
LOL IP: Logged |
ElizabethO
Knowflake Posts: 462
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 08, 2012 10:26 PM
Dude, Daddy Issues Lane is soooo much better than a guy with Mommy Issues! All that comes to mind is this dude: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wayne_Gacy IP: Logged |
NickiG
Moderator Posts: 5243
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted January 08, 2012 10:36 PM
at least its people in a bad mood....i always get people who want to talk about sex...i even had one guy ask me to bounce on a balloon until it pops because it turns him on.......O__________O ------------------
I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 25726
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 08, 2012 10:39 PM
quote:
Originally posted by NickiG:
at least its people in a bad mood....i always get people who want to talk about sex...i even had one guy ask me to bounce on a balloon until it pops because it turns him on.......O__________O
------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Fondue Knight
Knowflake Posts: 396
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 08, 2012 10:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by NickiG:
at least its people in a bad mood....i always get people who want to talk about sex...i even had one guy ask me to bounce on a balloon until it pops because it turns him on.......O__________O
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!! You know, if they're not bitching about whatever issues they have, they're talking about sex. I just wanna be like...  quote:
Dude, Daddy Issues Lane is soooo much better than a guy with Mommy Issues! All that comes to mind is this dude: ]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wayne_Gacy
While I think any such issues should be avoided when first getting to know someone, I suppose it does help me filter through guys. IP: Logged |
Cancer/Scorpio729
Moderator Posts: 1294
From: 6,000 feet above sea level
Registered: Feb 2010
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posted January 09, 2012 01:02 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Fondue Knight:
I am determined to use that one day, complete with martini and dismissive turning.
Males...pshaw...
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teasel
Knowflake Posts: 3665
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 09, 2012 01:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by NickiG:
at least its people in a bad mood....i always get people who want to talk about sex...i even had one guy ask me to bounce on a balloon until it pops because it turns him on.......O__________O
Okay, that made me laugh out loud. Creepy, though. I received more responses to my online profile, when I posted something about not being up for dating, that I was feeling bitter and defensive, etc. I did have a couple of sweet responses then, though - in amongst the mostly "sexy lady" comments - like one guy who told me that I was too pretty to hide (and for years I felt so ugly - probably my best years, looks-wise). I've been feeling like hell, and thought I looked like hell, so that was nice to hear. So, I've been "that girl" that Fondue Knight refers to, briefly.  IP: Logged |
Fondue Knight
Knowflake Posts: 396
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 09, 2012 01:35 AM
quote:
Originally posted by NickiG:
i even had one guy ask me to bounce on a balloon until it pops because it turns him on.......O__________O
You know... I actually saw a program on TV about sexual taboos, and one of the dudes on there had a balloon fetish. He said that he'd never be able to have a girlfriend unless she was into popping balloons with him.  To each they own... IP: Logged |
Fondue Knight
Knowflake Posts: 396
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 09, 2012 01:39 AM
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
Okay, that made me laugh out loud. Creepy, though. I received more responses to my online profile, when I posted something about not being up for dating, that I was feeling bitter and defensive, etc. I did have a couple of sweet responses then, though - in amongst the mostly "sexy lady" comments - like one guy who told me that I was too pretty to hide (and for years I felt so ugly - probably my best years, looks-wise). I've been feeling like hell, and thought I looked like hell, so that was nice to hear. So, I've been "that girl" that Fondue Knight refers to, briefly.
There's a difference, though, between putting it on your profile that you're not into dating at the moment, and actively messaging someone out of the blue and making a point within the first couple of exchanges that you're p1ssed about something. At least you're not leading anyone on. Here I was thinking I might have a somewhat interesting conversation (my first mistake) when, lo and behold, I have a whiny diva on my hands. Ohhhhh gays.  IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 3366
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 09, 2012 03:46 AM
I think "Sofia" from Golden Girls sums it up quite nicely. I'm equally turned off by online idiots who will message a "hi" which means they are missing the "conversation gene". Oh, I know!
I also get the other type of idiots who cut and paste a long message about themselves which always somehow ends with "take care". And I'm left wondering "yeah, all this alright, but WHY are you messaging ME all this crap about YOU and why SHOULD I CARE?!" When I want to get sb's attn, I don't approach them and start talking about ME! I approach them and talk about THEM, what made me approach them, why I'd like to get to know them better. Only if you are a narcissistic prick you will approach sb you like and start talking about YOU and YOU alone right from "hi". It's just beyond me. As I said elsewhere, if you want to find even a bedroom partner (forget about anything more complicated), you need to be at least smart enough to know how to approach them. I'm not talking about lying! I'm talking about common sense, flirting/complimenting/being courteous, ways to get to know someone, ways to open a line of rapport, you know, what Fondue called "Dating 101". How do these guys EVER get laid is beyond me!
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NickiG
Moderator Posts: 5243
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted January 09, 2012 11:10 AM
quote:
Originally posted by anongrl10:
I think "Sofia" from Golden Girls sums it up quite nicely. I'm equally turned off by online idiots who will message a "hi" which means they are missing the "conversation gene". Oh, I know!
I also get the other type of idiots who cut and paste a long message about themselves which always somehow ends with "take care". And I'm left wondering "yeah, all this alright, but WHY are you messaging ME all this crap about YOU and why SHOULD I CARE?!" When I want to get sb's attn, I don't approach them and start talking about ME! I approach them and talk about THEM, what made me approach them, why I'd like to get to know them better. Only if you are a narcissistic prick you will approach sb you like and start talking about YOU and YOU alone right from "hi". It's just beyond me. As I said elsewhere, if you want to find even a bedroom partner (forget about anything more complicated), you need to be at least smart enough to know how to approach them. I'm not talking about lying! I'm talking about common sense, flirting/complimenting/being courteous, ways to get to know someone, ways to open a line of rapport, you know, what Fondue called "Dating 101". How do these guys EVER get laid is beyond me!
i sometimes like it when a guy gives this huge introduction about his likes and hobbies..because for one, if i like those things then i'll have something to talk to him about...plus, it gives me an idea of what kind of person he is (i dont mean narcissistic, lol) ------------------
I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
sand
Knowflake Posts: 2138
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted January 09, 2012 11:15 AM
i felt i just needed to click on this.. dunno why.. don't even remember the title of the thread..IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 3366
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 09, 2012 11:26 AM
quote:
Originally posted by NickiG:
i sometimes like it when a guy gives this huge introduction about his likes and hobbies..because for one, if i like those things then i'll have something to talk to him about...plus, it gives me an idea of what kind of person he is (i dont mean narcissistic, lol)
No, Nicky, that's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about guys you never saw before on online dating sites. For me, when I want to approach someone for the very 1st time, I will write something like this "Hi, I liked your profile. Esp. impressed about X. I also had done Y. and are you interested in Z?" Something along these lines! The starting point is WHY you are contacting them. The motivation, say you liked their photo, or you found their profile cool, or whatever. The VERY first email to a complete stranger cannot be a simple "hi" or a long insane email about yourself. Nobody cares at that point about YOU. Let's put it this way.
If I get an email from someone whose profile I've never seen before and this is the very 1st contact, that says: "hi". I might respond with a "hi back". Not much conversation at that point, right? You hit a WALL. Instead, let's say I get a message that reads like this: "Hi, I really like your photo and find you profile very interesting! How long have you done XYZ? Would you like to chat sometime?" My first reaction will be to look at his profile and see if I like him too. If I do, I will respond to his msg and to his very specific q's about ME and ask about HIM as well. Conversation guaranteed! See the difference? There is a time when you have to talk about you and that time is NOT when you first approach someone who is a complete stranger. Like in real life, if I am approached by someone and he starts talking about himself, I will assume he's nuts and leave running!
If, instead, he approaches me with a compliment or something he noticed about ME, and I like what I see, I will respond with a smile and take it from there. See what I'm saying?  IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 3918
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 09, 2012 11:50 AM
omg Nicky & here i thought i'd heard it all. Gross. IP: Logged |
Fondue Knight
Knowflake Posts: 396
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 09, 2012 12:32 PM
See? Anongrl paid attention in Dating 101, too.   IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 3366
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 09, 2012 12:44 PM
^^ I aced it, man!!!!!!!!!
Perhaps the most lucrative job for me is teaching online dating manners for idiots.
Or, "Idiot's Guide to Online Dating 101".
Perhaps: "Online Dating for Idiots"?IP: Logged |
Fondue Knight
Knowflake Posts: 396
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 09, 2012 12:57 PM
I think we could go into business together teaching in tandem. I'll take the American market and you take the European market.  IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 3366
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 09, 2012 01:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Fondue Knight:
I think we could go into business together teaching in tandem. I'll take the American market and you take the European market.
Done deal!! IP: Logged |
NickiG
Moderator Posts: 5243
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted January 09, 2012 09:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by T:
omg Nicky & here i thought i'd heard it all. Gross.
lol...i can copy and paste the messages..it was...weird but not going to for privacy reasons and anon...i think we just respond differently to different first posts...i too dont respond to the singular "hi" but i might respond if a guy talks about his likes and hobbies ------------------
I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
tautomer4314
Knowflake Posts: 178
From: Oregon
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted January 10, 2012 06:20 PM
Fondue if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? The reason I ask is that younger guys are usually a bit crappy on sites. They haven't reached a good level of maturity yet. I find that I end up connecting with guys in their late 20's more often then not. Seems like almost anyone I end up liking is 28 or 29, and I am only 22. Also which dating sites are you using?Seeing that we bark up the same tree, I can understand your frusterations with dating sites. It can be one bad thing after another. The things I have learned that are key to making dating sites work is to be SUPER clear with intentions, right away, and listen to your gut instincts. If you get a bad vibe from a guy and don't want to talk to him anymore, then why would you continue to do so? Simple as that. If someone can't communicate in a way that you can understand and work with in the beginning, then why would it work when you meet in person? Stick to your convictions and do not lower your standards. ------------------
It's All Elemental
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My Chart if relevant IP: Logged |
Fondue Knight
Knowflake Posts: 396
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 11, 2012 02:19 AM
quote:
Originally posted by tautomer4314:
Fondue if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? The reason I ask is that younger guys are usually a bit crappy on sites. They haven't reached a good level of maturity yet. I find that I end up connecting with guys in their late 20's more often then not. Seems like almost anyone I end up liking is 28 or 29, and I am only 22. Also which dating sites are you using?Seeing that we bark up the same tree, I can understand your frusterations with dating sites. It can be one bad thing after another. The things I have learned that are key to making dating sites work is to be SUPER clear with intentions, right away, and listen to your gut instincts. If you get a bad vibe from a guy and don't want to talk to him anymore, then why would you continue to do so? Simple as that. If someone can't communicate in a way that you can understand and work with in the beginning, then why would it work when you meet in person? Stick to your convictions and do not lower your standards.
I'm 26.  This encounter took place on OkCupid. BELIEVE me, my Virgo moon does not allow me to settle. The reason I insist on carrying on conversation is the Uranus/Aqua in me. I'm just so curious about how they'll go about their online dating messaging methods! Even if I've made up my mind that there's no way in hell I'd even meet up with this person, there's still something to be gained by continuing to converse with them. I'm just amazed that some people think they can unload their baggage within the first couple of interactions with someone. The dramatics of my OP can be blamed on my Venus in the 5th sextile Mercury.  IP: Logged |
birdy
Knowflake Posts: 48
From:
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted January 11, 2012 02:44 AM
The reason for meeting idiots is because when you finally come across one who isn't, you know to cling on for dear life.
Basically you come to appreciate people when you get along with them. It's much more rare than people realize.IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 3366
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 11, 2012 09:31 AM
I don't think it's an age thing.
I'm 42, although I look younger than my age, and have encountered the same idiotic behavior with men from 28 to 50.
Immaturity has no age limits. IP: Logged |
Fondue Knight
Knowflake Posts: 396
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 11, 2012 10:27 AM
^Oh yeah. Big time. My personal favorite are the 50+ year old men who will message me looking for sex when I state perfectly clear that is not my thing and then get pissy when I either ignore them or reject their advances. God forbid people actually READ. My profile could say that I'm a leper with a raging case of herpes and I'd still have horny older dudes trying to hit it.  Again, this is poignant...
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Lindaland
