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Author Topic:   Kids Jokes

Posts: 521
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2012

posted January 28, 2012 12:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SaggiMC     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

A wedding story. . . .As only a child could do...

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd alternating between
bride's side and groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear..."

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mom asked "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied, "I think it's printed on the bottom."

Another three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet."

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened a box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother. She said "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail. AMEN"

I love the parable, “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day, BUT if you teach him how to fish, you feed him for life.”

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Posts: 209
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted January 28, 2012 04:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I heard of a Christmas play where preschoolers played the 3 wisemen (don't know if this is true or not). One said, "I bring you gold." The next said, "I bring you myrrh." The third said, "Frank sent this."

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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 28, 2012 04:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LEXX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Posts: 1975
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 29, 2012 02:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
At Christmas Dinner my 5 year old red headed Grandson pointed at me and said
"She can't cook!!, she puts gravy on EVERYTHING"!!

I'd have thumped him if I could have reached him

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