posted March 31, 2012 08:08 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
its situations like these that make me not take people seriously at all, i think people should only flirt when they have geniune interest in someone,because it leads people on,and thats not cool,thats my opinion anyway.

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posted March 31, 2012 08:14 PM            

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Originally posted by Dee:
I had a few incidents when i used to hang out. one guy followed me to my car he was all over me no one was around i finally talked him off telling him to call me and i would see him the next night, of course i gave him a wrong number..i ended up running into him about a month later in a crowded bar and he tried to attack me screaming all the time... that B!tch gave me a phony number.. the guys blocked him and i never saw him again after that.. still i gave more guys the wrong number because sometimes its the only way to get rid of them

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How scary and awful. Though not surprising to me, unfortunately.

And I understand why you would do that sometimes. I have had to too, a couple of times. Some men don't realize how scary they are to us. And yes, sometimes you have to do things like that just to get them off your back.

Now, I take a stronger stance because I can't deal with pushy guys or b*llsh*t anymore. My fuse if very short for that kind of thing. Tell them, you don't give out your number anymore after some bad experiences, but you will take theirs.

If they get pushy about it, be firm and let them know that they arent getting your effing number. Be polite (because they could go psycho on you) but firm.

posted March 31, 2012 08:26 PM            

I've been through it all.

Usually best to let them down gently as possible as not to ruin your night at the same time.

posted March 31, 2012 08:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dee:
I had a few incidents when i used to hang out. one guy followed me to my car he was all over me no one was around i finally talked him off telling him to call me and i would see him the next night, of course i gave him a wrong number..i ended up running into him about a month later in a crowded bar and he tried to attack me screaming all the time... that B!tch gave me a phony number.. the guys blocked him and i never saw him again after that.. still i gave more guys the wrong number because sometimes its the only way to get rid of them

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posted March 31, 2012 09:08 PM            

But you will meet people like that anywhere you go.

I also really dislike how a female can't go out to a pub and have a drink or two by herself, without all the guys in there thinking she must be looking to go home with someone and creeping up and offering to buy her a drink or feel like it's open game for conversation.

I'd often be waiting for friends and have this happen. Sometimes, I'd feel like getting out of my apartment and walk to a local pub. Usually I'd see people I know there, but not always. And I'd begin to get irritated with the "What's a pretty girl like you doing all alone?" "out by herself" etc.

UM I'm an adult. I can be out alone or by myself whenever I want to. And wipe that eager, dirty look off your face, because I'm not going home with you.

Why is it that a guy can go out and get a beer or two after work and no one thinks anything of it? But a female doing the same thing, must be out cruising for some **** or someone to go home with. I wanted to get out, have a cold one, and maybe some decent conversation with someone and that's it. Do you mind???

It's disgusting to me and I don't do it anymore.

Occasionally, you'd meet a normal person or couple and engage in some decent conversation, but usually it's like flies on **** and rather than relax and have a nice night and go home by yourself, you end up swatting the whole time.

I miss not having anyone around to go out with anymore, because it usually was fun and when you are with a friend, everything is funnier or you are able to joke about the goings on and not have people assuming the wrong things and harrassing you all night.

posted March 31, 2012 09:16 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:

I also don't like the whole concept of see a person, start talking, try to get a date. I don't know. It seems like other people think that it's normal, but I don't like it, probably because the whole goal is sex and it's all about lust.

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Why does it often automatically have to go there?

And as in the situation I described above, I can't stand how that is assumed. It shouldnt be. I can understand how it is, but it shouldnt be. It should go both ways, male or female. But it doesnt.

posted March 31, 2012 09:18 PM            

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Originally posted by T:

Why does it often automatically have to go there?

And as in the situation I described above, I can't stand how that is assumed. It shouldnt be. I can understand how it is, but it shouldnt be. It should go both ways, male or female. But it doesnt.

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posted April 01, 2012 12:15 AM            

But yeah, I think most men who harass women actually mean well and don't realize how scary or annoying they can be, especially as they can be just as loud and overbearing with other men the same way. They're pressured to be the ones to initiate contact but at the same time many don't want to come off stalkerish (similar, but not the same, to many women trying to find that fine line between being sexy but not slutty), and if they pay attention to women's magazines they'll see that a great many women ARE interested in sex, want men to desire them, and not always against even one night stands. I've looked at men's magazines out of curiosity and while they do focus more on sex more than relationships (though I've seen a few women's magazines, including Cosmopolitan, get real close to being as vulgar), it's assumed that the readers want to please women rather than simply use them. Of course they can be as petty as any woman when rejected, but unfortunately that pettiness can come off as surly, aggressive, and even threatening rather than shunning as a woman is more likely to do. (As someone once said, men are afraid women will laugh at them while women are afraid men will kill them.)

One disturbing thing I've noticed, however, is that plenty (don't know how many, but more than I like) of men assume that if he's attracted to a woman then she knows he's attracted and therefore is "doing it on purpose" (and thus when she turns him away she's a "tease"). This is so bad that I even once met a guy who complained angrily that little girls of about 10 were trying to sexually excite him on purpose and saw nothing strange when I pointed out that no one else of any age was also turning him on (and when I asked around I was unsurprised to find he was a registered child molester). I read the Malleus Maleficarum, a once well respected book (and even in the 20th century as women were gaining the right to vote there were people who wanted the church to start living by it again) that flat out said that women inserted lust into men, and they did it on purpose (and in their demonization of women and why they were dangerous even said, "For the rape of a woman, Troy fell"). I find men like this especially disturbing as I consider them mentally unstable (akin to paranoia) and potentially violent as they believe they're being "teased" without mercy and sometimes respond with vengeful violence.

posted April 01, 2012 12:22 AM            

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Originally posted by T:
Big part of the reason why I don't go out anymore.

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posted April 01, 2012 12:55 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I recall many years ago a politician named Cody of NJ went on the record saying women should walk in large numbers, stay in well lit areas, and I think not even go out after dark. I recall thinking his view was distorted by the silver spoon in his mouth because he didn't realize women pull night shifts among other things and I was just overall offended by his "men suck, you just have to deal with it and stay out of our way so we don't have the opportunity to hurt you" discourse. I'm glad to say the public backlash was so intense that he took down his public letter that said these things.

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It seems that's the answer many of us get. I know that's what I've always gotten from men too. "Youre female, good looking, men are men, DEAL WITH IT."

or "calm down" it's just men being men.

Okay! You try saying that as a female knowing most of them could overpower you and some are too hungry to get in your pants. Check out most of the news headlines. How insensitive and insulting. Shows how much they don't put themselves in our shoes.

Sorry. Not good enough for me. And no, I will never "deal with it" or "get over it" and "learn to live with it". just because that's how most men are. I'll never suck it up and "deal with it". I'll ***** and moan about it to you aholes until you realize just what we go through. And I won't feel bad about it either. You deal with it.

posted April 01, 2012 12:58 AM            

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I also dislike the idea that many men have that if they do anything for you or buy you anything then you "owe" them. Many of these types will just get angry and bitter if they feel "ripped off" but at least a few will sexually assault a woman to get what he's "owed." For this reason I almost never let strange men do anything significant for me or buy me anything. I've learned harsh lessons on this one.

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posted April 01, 2012 01:00 AM            

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One disturbing thing I've noticed, however, is that plenty (don't know how many, but more than I like) of men assume that if he's attracted to a woman then she knows he's attracted and therefore is "doing it on purpose" (and thus when she turns him away she's a "tease").

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posted April 01, 2012 01:25 AM            

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Originally posted by T:
Same here. I never accept a drink or gift from a strange man. They are always expecting something sexual in return. I'll buy my own drinks or whatever else. Thanks anyway.

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posted April 01, 2012 01:34 AM            

Well, okay, then go buy that lonely guy at the end of the bar a drink then. I think he needs one more than I do. When you politely tell them you are all set, thank you anyway, but you are buying your own drinks, they seem to get miffed or insulted.

posted April 01, 2012 01:42 AM            

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he worst is when some guy tries to force one on you,

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The desperate dumb@ss thinks all he has to do is get you one more drink in hopes that it will get you drunk enough to get what he wants. Don't worry too much though because it's most likely not the first time he's been turned down. They will try, try again though.

It's unfortunate when you are the one they finally go ballistic on.

posted April 01, 2012 01:51 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
whats that got to do with anything? lol

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