posted January 15, 2013 06:30 PM            

but what kind of truth can you extract from this one?

Opinions? I was watching another news program the other night where the lady was talking about how kids these days don't even feel like they are alive or that their life is real unless they video tape it and post it on youtube or something.

We are raising a generation of deluded narcissists

A new analysis of the American Freshman Survey, which has accumulated data for the past 47 years from 9 million young adults, reveals that college students are more likely than ever to call themselves gifted and driven to succeed, even though their test scores and time spent studying are decreasing.

Psychologist Jean Twenge, the lead author of the analysis, is also the author of a study showing that the tendency toward narcissism in students is up 30 percent in the last thirty-odd years.

These data are not unexpected. I have been writing a great deal over the past few years about the toxic psychological impact of media and technology on children, adolescents and young adults, particularly as it regards turning them into faux celebrities—the equivalent of lead actors in their own fictionalized life stories.

On Facebook, young people can fool themselves into thinking they have hundreds or thousands of “friends.” They can delete unflattering comments. They can block anyone who disagrees with them or pokes holes in their inflated self-esteem. They can choose to show the world only flattering, sexy or funny photographs of themselves (dozens of albums full, by the way), “speak” in pithy short posts and publicly connect to movie stars and professional athletes and musicians they “like.”

We must beware of the toxic psychological impact of media and technology on children, adolescents and young adults, particularly as it regards turning them into faux celebrities—the equivalent of lead actors in their own fictionalized life stories.

Using Twitter, young people can pretend they are worth “following,” as though they have real-life fans, when all that is really happening is the mutual fanning of false love and false fame.

Using computer games, our sons and daughters can pretend they are Olympians, Formula 1 drivers, rock stars or sharpshooters. And while they can turn off their Wii and Xbox machines and remember they are really in dens and playrooms on side streets and in triple deckers around America, that is after their hearts have raced and heads have swelled with false pride for “being” something they are not.

On MTV and other networks, young people can see lives just like theirs portrayed on reality TV shows fueled by such incredible self-involvement and self-love that any of the “real-life” characters should really be in psychotherapy to have any chance at anything like a normal life.
These are the psychological drugs of the 21st Century and they are getting our sons and daughters very sick, indeed.
As if to keep up with the unreality of media and technology, in a dizzying paroxysm of self-aggrandizing hype, town sports leagues across the country hand out ribbons and trophies to losing teams, schools inflate grades, energy drinks in giant, colorful cans take over the soft drink market, and psychiatrists hand out Adderall like candy.

All the while, these adolescents, teens and young adults are watching a Congress that can’t control its manic, euphoric, narcissistic spending, a president that can’t see his way through to applauding genuine and extraordinary achievements in business, a society that blames mass killings on guns, not the psychotic people who wield them, and—here no surprise—a stock market that keeps rising and falling like a roller coaster as bubbles inflate and then, inevitably, burst.

That’s really the unavoidable end, by the way. False pride can never be sustained. The bubble of narcissism is always at risk of bursting. That’s why young people are higher on drugs than ever, drunker than ever, smoking more, tattooed more, pierced more and having more and more and more sex, earlier and earlier and earlier, raising babies before they can do it well, because it makes them feel special, for a while. They’re doing anything to distract themselves from the fact that they feel empty inside and unworthy.

Distractions, however, are temporary, and the truth is eternal. Watch for an epidemic of depression and suicidality, not to mention homicidality, as the real self-loathing and hatred of others that lies beneath all this narcissism rises to the surface. I see it happening and, no doubt, many of you do, too.

We had better get a plan together to combat this greatest epidemic as it takes shape. Because it will dwarf the toll of any epidemic we have ever known. And it will be the hardest to defeat. Because, by the time we see the scope and destructiveness of this enemy clearly, we will also realize, as the saying goes, that it is us.

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/01/08/are-raising-generation-deluded-na rcissists/#ixzz2I5dWqWoo

posted January 15, 2013 08:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mercuranian:
facebook and twitter are full of attention seekers, and braggarts trying to convince everyone out there that they are happier than they really are.

aquaguy, i think you are confusing confidence with arrogance.

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posted January 15, 2013 09:55 PM            

My then 12-year-old girl helped a friend find a YT vid on the family computer in the living room by accessing the history to find it, but as they got to the vid it was in their mom’s account who was the last one signed in and the mom seeing it as she passed by thought the tween had cracked her account. My girl tried to explain this very simple computer skill but her friend’s mom just didn't have the brains to get it and kicked her out. And soon (after a few more comedic errors and misunderstandings) she was banned from other homes as it spread she was a 12-year-old computer hacker, and the more she denied it the more they believed she was. (I wonder how many of them will see that FOX report and nod at how stupid kids are, too... )

I told her she'd laugh about it one day, and explained how adults used to think I was a member of a Satanic cult shortly before I turned 14 which blew her away (as did the Satanic Panic of the 80s/90s when I explained that briefly).

posted January 16, 2013 12:48 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
well what is confidence exactly? im still trying to figure that one out myself.... all i know is most of the "confident" guys women are pulled to are extremely arrogant and full of themselves. so is everyone getting confidence/arrogance confused? i still say there is a verry blurry line between the two...

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Confidence would be awareness of both one's positive traits and limitations. Arrogance is focusing on the positives and glossing over the limitations. The women attracted to arrogant men that you mentioned have to have their own issues with self-esteem etc. to be attracted to someone like that as well. Two entitled/arrogant individuals just butt heads too much.

posted January 16, 2013 02:13 AM            

As for social media, I'm conflicted. Mainly because I know how to use it properly so I don't mind it for myself or the people I stay in contact with, but I also see people who abuse it to advertise the most shallow parts of their lives. I do blame parents, and want teens to take responsibility for their behavior, but I also look at our education system in America. When's the last time any drastic changes were made to the mandatory courses we had to learn? Considering this day and age why aren't we introducing topics like social media networking, or 'gender, race, and class' in the media at younger intervals? They're so addicted to the attention now we might as well try educating them how they're being affected.

posted January 16, 2013 03:18 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
the way people behave on the internet is not really an indicator of how they behave in real life. on the internet it truly is anything goes and you can say anything you want with virtually no consequences. i have experimented with online dating and it shocked me how rude women can be to you if they dont find you attractive. they have no problem insulting you ... while people can be and are rude irl it pales in comparison to what happens on the internet.

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posted January 16, 2013 03:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I'm ripping my hair out :laugh: I really, really, hope you meet Patti Stanger one day. I mean, if you think we're (on LL) bad at giving you womanly advice... pffft. Those particular women are just as rude in real life, trust me. Even if they don't say verbatim in real life what they say to you on the internet, they are not well-liked people.

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posted January 16, 2013 03:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
No no I know I wasn't tripping out. I was just saying don't feel bad about them being rude to you because they're not nice in real life either.

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posted January 16, 2013 03:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cancer/Scorpio729:
Two entitled/arrogant individuals just butt heads too much.

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posted January 16, 2013 03:31 AM            

have huge egos and tiny consciences. It's not they're actively trying to hurt people; they just never consider other people at all, unless they want something.

LEGENDS IN THEIR OWN MINDS with talent like theirs, who needs performance?
LOOK FOR: Self-proclaimed genius, with membership in MENSA listed as greatest life achievement.
DRAW YOU IN WITH: Talent and potential.
DRAIN YOU BY: Blaming everybody else for their inability to realize that potential.
THE ONE YOU SEE EVERY DAY: Your brother-in-law, the genius who can't hold down a job.
DEFENSIVE STRATEGY: Getting them to do the parts they don't like first, and paying attention to performance rather than talk.

SUPERSTARS do what it takes to climb the ladder of success – whatever it takes, especially taking advantage other people.
LOOK FOR: Success, achieved at all costs.
DRAW YOU IN WITH: Talent, charisma, and acting as if you were as cool as they think they are.
DRAIN YOU BY: Perpetually seeing their needs as more important than anybody else's, and not giving a rip once they've gotten what they want.
THE ONE YOU'RE MOST LIKELY TO SEE EVERY DAY: Politicians, prima-donnas, and hard-driving competitors who throw tantrums when they lose,
DEFENSIVE STRATEGY: Keep a ledger book in your mind. Make sure Superstars pay up front for anything they want from you. Never accept promises or extend credit.

posted January 16, 2013 05:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I do blame parents, and want teens to take responsibility for their behavior, but I also look at our education system in America. When's the last time any drastic changes were made to the mandatory courses we had to learn? Considering this day and age why aren't we introducing topics like social media networking, or 'gender, race, and class' in the media at younger intervals? They're so addicted to the attention now we might as well try educating them how they're being affected.

What's really weird to me is how offended people get if you delete them off Facebook. It's somehow translated into a "F--- you" in real life even though my deleting you off a stupid networking site shouldn't be the end all of what I think of you as a person. So much hate for that connotation.

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Yeah, but I can only think of boomers who actually killed over it (like this guy).

I personally dislike how digital it's all getting, mainly because people aren't communicating face to face which creates problems and it's all too easy to annoy (and even track!) others, and too many thoughtless jerks even text and expect an answer KNOWING the person is driving (though I've known a guy in his 30s who did this, though that was one of the reasons my BFF dumped him). Perhaps my age is showing...though I didn't like IM either when that was the thing (it was so much mindless chatter, people not saying much of anything and yet saying enough that I couldn't do anything else on the computer so within a matter of weeks I swore to NEVER use it, and haven't).

That said, this site shows kids wanting a "cleaner" internet can be driven, gifted, and innovative, originally started by an 11-year-old and with many kids (including teens) on it, though adults oversee it now:
http://www.gromsocial.com/index.php

Unfortunately schools are very slow to adapt, and they're especially slow when it might offend parents (which can hurt the school board, many of whom join as a springboard for a future political election, or at least want to stay a member to further their own agenda), and the media of kids has always been a sensitive topic best ignored.

The reason for that is because many parents aren't as involved with their kids lives as they like, feel guilty, and so blame what IS raising their kids, like TV, music, games, and now social media, and I think it hurts that computers are a big mystery to many adults and easily frightened by the media that makes money by scaring people (including parents) as bad as they can (as that glues viewers which means they can charge more for advertising, especially to those corporations that love frightened parents).

posted January 16, 2013 10:52 AM            

That or they strongly advocate singing/acting/dancing talent as a means for more attention and adoration. So many shows similar to Hannah Montana about kids "making it" in Hollywood exist in which self-advertising is necessary and fans are extremely important. Watching these kinds of inflated and super-popular role models on tv, I can see why kids try and make themselves out to be bigger than they really are. They would like to have their own fan base the way these kids do, and feel special and wanted and adored.

Not even starting on the outrageous displays of overconfidence on those shows, general lack of respect in treatment of others, and romance-centered plot lines. And realize kids 5 and up are watching these kinds of things, such early exposure to that kind of behavior also creates narcisstic children prematurely fixated on sex.

posted January 16, 2013 11:01 AM            

quote:

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These data are not unexpected. I have been writing a great deal over the past few years about the toxic psychological impact of media and technology on children, adolescents and young adults, particularly as it regards turning them into faux celebrities—the equivalent of lead actors in their own fictionalized life stories.

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With the exception of the few, I hold the parents of these young adults responsible as well. The adult/parent generation, generally speaking, was too busy for these children and let others/technology raise them. The lack of positive parental direction is to blame as well.

I`m aware even positive parental interaction isn`t enough but it would have been a darn good place to start.