posted May 25, 2013 03:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
I sense a Modship in her future.
You are soooo kind, Randall.
You know that my life is so uncertain... I've been dealt life with a raw hand, and I make that 'okay' some how. It's not that I've never been without SOME recourse to start again, but NOW I'm at a point of 'not knowing' what I can do. Things are REALLY truly 'stuck' in my life, have been been for a decade...and with the affairs and events of our world, seems my survival falls by the wayside and I get "Trump-ed" by catastrophic geographical and economic events ... 
Feel like the mythological Sisyphus, rolling rock up cliff, over and over, and never get the Rest that would come of making it over the lip of that edge of the ledge. I get up, but I fall down... and stupidly (or obediently to the spirit/Soul) I do it again.
And this is what it "seems" like to me.... It feels as though my life is sooo fraught with weights, that it scares people away. They stand back and fear to get involved because this 'could' touch THEIR life too, by association. In a weird way, somehow, I feel like a booby-trap? At least, that's how I've read/misread other's energies in my life?
A guy I knew named Ernie says people are scared because I'm growing up in a litter of housecats... and when I try to stretch and play, I roar huge like a mountainlion. I can't see it myself, but watch the reaction of the others freaking out. (I loved him! Knew him when I was 24-25yrs old. Learned just a few things from him back then, that seems to have an impact on my life right now... He himself had very unique gifts as a person.)
The Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius (5th degree) in the very early morning (12:24am EDT) happened today, in my 12th (CollectiveUnconscious, hidden enemies) on asteroid 944 Hidalgo-rx (to assert, to promote, to defend) [conjunct BML 3s; and Narcissus 2s]. Hildalgo/BML is opposite my 6th house Sun (subconscious matters rising into lumination?)
I'd like to ask your indulgence, and allow me to use an image or metaphor to describe.... It's as though I live in an invisible wonderful-awful burning fire. There are people who are attracted to the phenomenon of a light, but they come to in order to 'conquer', and possess it, and place it under their thumb... The thing is, that 'I'm a person' and not a trophy. They seem to want to crush and control me, even subtly make threats. Almost like 'if they can't have it on THEIR terms, then I won't have it EITHER! But I am not a "thing"... I am "alive"..... I am a VERY flawed 'human' beginner-person.
Strangely in my life, it's as though I've had a 'protective seal' around me [big over-arching astrological configuration involving most of my planets, and involving the ones left by aspects to it]. When others want to "take" it front me, or to "control" the way it expresses, they feel that fire-sting. Then they accuse "me" of burning THEM! I can not perceive how that happens? Mystically, do they approach out of an entirely "Unconscious" wrong intention? That they are NOT 'aware' is in them??
-
Remember the ruby slippers in Wizard of Oz? The witch wanted those slippers, and she held Dorothy 'responsible' for the house that unfortunately fell on top of her sister.... The guardian angel caused those ruby shoes to stick tightly to Dorothy's feet. When the witch went to touch the slippers, she got shocked. She "only" wanted the shoes, and Dorothy was ready to "give" them to her! BUT, then the good witch said to Dorothy, 'there must be great power in them, or they wouldn't want to possess the shoes for themselves.'
They thing is... they only want "what" the shoes can do for THEM, and don't want the "who" is wearing them. They don't want anything to do with the girl (person) who wears them.
Randall, Ami, Emeraldopal, everyone...
I humbly ask your feedback (ONLY if you are prompted inside to say it). I "feel" blind to what I can do about my circumstances of my life. It's as though I'm 'wearing the shoes' and endeavor to walk the walk, but feel I fail, and I feel I can't step out of them-- and I can't see the path in front of me....
I desire and long with great longings for things that I WANT to do, but I feel stranded and tight and can't move (literally). My vision focusses and gets unfocussed. I'm scared that it means my dream is wrong. I hide my light under the bushel because of blind attacks. I don't know if I'm being attacked because I'm right, or is it that I'm wrong? (Metaphysically, I laugh-- of COURSE, the 'answer' is "BOTH"... 
---
[right now the next-wall neighbor is attempting to ramp up his powerful sound-system... gotta wrap up my writing, here]
I am in the valley of decision, but can't see in front of me. Enemies are very close and want to cut me off. Please help support me with you good powerful energies?? It is a tight place to be, and I feel all alone.... but I know I am FAR from being Alone.
THANKYOU with the DEEPEST PART OF MY HEART for your encouragements you've been showing me! Please don't leave me.... I know I am in 'good hands'--- and will make it through this.
THANKYOU for letting me share with you....
-----
This song matches the history and story of my life, right now.... I say THIS to myself--
(music) "Like A Rolling Stone" Seal & Jeff Beck [9:19] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSixn8MeN_s
---
I know that my "job" is to just to "BE" right now--, to BE in the Present through it all.... MUCH love to ALL of you!!
(music) Lift Me Up - lyrics (The Afters) [3:35] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6UAGhJHmOw
Your Mystical Mirage is signing off! With Gratefulness and Love....
(music) Whitney Houston & Mariah Carey, "When You Believe" [4:50] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7qX3eQVnQ0
Lindaland
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posted May 23, 2013 10:36 PM
posted May 25, 2013 12:22 PM
posted May 25, 2013 01:28 PM
}} & Emeraldopal {{ 
}}} 
posted May 25, 2013 03:52 PM