posted September 28, 2005 12:27 PM              

Sexuality is determined by early childhood experiences, it's easy to deny that and go straight to a past life rationalization.
I made out with girls when I was four or five, it's normal to be in touch with sex at that age.

We rationalize everything but I am sure my preference to be assertive as to do with early suggestions from friends to be the assertive, bold, and risk taking friend.
That includes sex, male or females.
I am Gemini Mercury/7th house, Aries Venus, 5th house, and attract lots of Virgo, Pisces, Libra, Scorpio, Gemini, and Aqua people.

posted September 28, 2005 12:54 PM              

quote:

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It's survival of the fittest, we breed with the best.

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Simon Le Bon (lead singer of duran duran) was asked why all pop star married top models. He answered "because we can".

posted September 28, 2005 05:04 PM              

Anyhow, actually, air signs are sometimes thought as *bisexual*, meaning sexual ambiguity and andrygony. In each sign there is simultaneous expression of traits deemed more predomiant in either gender:

Gemini - masculine mental facilities and agility with feminine sensitivity and fragility

Libra - masculine sense of juctive and balance with feminine creativity and aesthetics

Auqa - masculine cerebral detachment and objectivity combined with feminine humanitarian concern and compassion

Earth signs on the other hand are sometimes thought as *asexual* is the sense that they are not significantly oriented either male of feminie in traits, often exhibited traits common to both and not necessarily exclusive to either gender. Confusing, yes, I know, and this tends to p*ss off people (especially earth types), which is why I rarely bring it up here.

I have heard some people speculate that air sign are asexual, but I have found they usually mean bisexual - usually they refer to air sign's adaptibilty and flexibilty when it comes to changes gender roles and and expressing different gender traits. Transexualism and the intersexes would fall into this area. This is simply a confusion of the terminology, as in our popular culture we've confused the word "bisexual" to refer to *sexual orientation* and not to gender identity, which are distinct. Hence way the term "intersex" is being used by people who are *by gender* bisexual (frequently these are hermapherdites, but sometimes this also includes transexuals or other people who have made to choice to live witha ambiguous gender identity). Intersex people are not necessarily bisexual in sexual orientation, and in fact often aren't.

In contrast to an air sign's flexiblity and adaptibily genderwise, earth signs are far more rigid. This also means theiy are more rigid in adapting social constrtucts of gendr traits and roles. So they tend never fully adopt the gender traits or role of either gender, and hence are more truly "asexual." This sounds counterintuitive to the idea that earth signs are sensual and material, but the logic here doesn't exclude an earth sign's sensuality. A sign can be *very* sexual without being having a strong gender orientation, and in theory, without strong constrictions of social constrructs concerning gender roles, earth signs may be more capable of expressing the act and understanding of sex in a purer form than other signs.

Now as a disclaimer (and a big one), I am talking exclusively about the SIGNS themselves, and not their natives. When you are talking about a person who is an air or earth types, it's vastly more complicated. The signs simply inform the native and infleucne them, but other things also have influence upon the native as well, including their biological gender, their culture, their upbringing and their free will.

Having said all of that, let me use myself as an example:

I am an air persom with a strong Mercurial-Aquarian theme. As a norm, I function in society is a andrygonus way. I can behavior as female or male, but unusually in a ambiguous mixature of both. I have often be accused of trying to be male, although I have no desire to be exclusively male. I have no desire to be exclusively female either, and openly reject a number of social constructs that apply to women, including the roles of mother, wife and "the girlfriend."

I having Virgo rising, and a Virgo Pluto in the 1st and acts a bit like a singleton, especially with my gender identity. I often wish that I asexual in gender orientation because my airy gender ambiguity has caused me so many social problems and resulted in a lot of psychological injury from me (god, people can be so cruel). In a form of self-protection, I try to project an asexual facaded, which keeps people from reaction so strongly or negatively to my gender ambiguity.

As for sex itself, I can be intensly sexual or completely celibate and detached. I have Aqua Mars (known for its sexual detachment) in the 6th (an earth house). Sex is very fascinating and enjoyable or me, but I can easily live without it.

And while I don't believe in past lives, if I did have a past life, I'm sure that not only I regularly changed biological gender, I would have been a man in the last life.

posted September 28, 2005 05:23 PM            

Natasha you said ,"Sexuality is determined by early childhood experiences, it's easy to deny that and go straight to a past life rationalization."

I just wanted to clarify that this statement, most likely based on Freud's theories, is false. Scientists do not yet know what determines sexuality. Most likely it has both a biological and an environmental component, but to claim it is determined in early childhood is only a weak theory at best. Some research suggests that varied fetal hormone levels can affect sexual behavior in mammals.

posted September 28, 2005 06:19 PM              

I do know that it's not a weak theory,
early childhood experiences teach us what to trust and what to fear and not to fear. Your anatomy does not guide you, the emotional experiences that shape you do because we change ourselves through what we learn is normal.

The only time we are exposed to purely normal society in our minds is in childhood and it's very hard to change those messages. Once change is accepted, the road gets easier.

So many problems come from people who do not want to risk judgement by talking about their childhoods, and then the fears become more rigid and deeply buried. Change becomes impossible in any way, shape or form until a crisis.

I know many people from my childhood who were affected by the same things, and refuse to admit it. They use every other idea, to avoid the reality of my parents and aunts and uncles. I never pull any punches and talk about it like it was, and I know that's why I don't hate my sexuality or dislike being who I am. Woman or man, g/f or wife, mother or child, I like who I am today.

Very few people deal with this.
I really was looking for fun and new people, and it was kind of scary-and fell into sexuality. I really wanted to play dress up both ways, with cowboy hats and dresses, play make believe and play all the parts. If a girl had a pretty dress I wanted the dress too so I was easily swayed by glamour. Then again I was around 8.

(My message is good self esteem=happy sexuality. Who we sleep with is pretty random depending on who we meet, but we can control how we feel about ourselves.)

It's tough for me if I am not having sex in a good relationship I tend to feel awful about myself. I battle that all the time, but I am getting much better at focusing on my soul and the souls of others because nobody wants to believe this anymore. I feel this world does not look at emotional experience as significant, only sexual ones.

Took me a while to discover, I am happy with a less overly masculine partner. I dont' like belching, dishonesty, back slapping, all that stuff, bragging, pride.
I have learned I do better with a friend who is not overly bossy, male or female. I know Mars conjunct ascendant women are a bit bossy and I have accepted that in myself.

Natasha

posted September 28, 2005 09:16 PM            

Sorry Natasha, but you are only partially right. Your intuitions are on track, but you cannot disregard biology in the choices we make. Are you a woman by choice? Do you have a monthly cycle because of things you learned as a kid? Your emotions are different simply BECAUSE you were born a woman, but they are ALSO different because society treats you as a woman. You cannot discount the biological anymore than you can discount the environmental, ask any psychologist. In fact, if you do any reading, you will find that the human mind is biologically wired to absorb/respond to the environment. However, I see nothing other than intuition/anecdotal evidence to back up your claims that sexuality is chosen at a young age. If you do any reading on the subject you'll see that the answers are still inconlusive.

posted October 01, 2005 09:33 PM              

Some truths are self evident, that is you don't need to read about them, they are everywhere, only experience in the world can teach us this. Once you have learned, how to adapt in the world, the way many people have, you will learn that we do control our anatomy, it does not always control us.

Eventually the truth and intuition become one, if you are exposed to enough people/realities.

I am not being arrogant when I say I have truly adapted beyond what most people can or want to, but it's very difficult. 98% of the friends you know will play out a script-but we can change-through experience and acceptance. It helps that I have an 8th house moon, and the 8th house is about other people. I am open to other people always.

One thing I have learned though, is that most people, have trouble accepting differences when it comes to seuxality. It's the one place where things get weird, because they have to risk everything they are and change.

In reality, we can change a million times in one lifetime, what other people see is just a picture of our real selves. You could sleep with 200 people, men and women and it wouldn't make any difference if you decide to join a monastery tomorrow.

Both are true, and normal since it's normal to try new things and change. Anatomy isn't destiny anymore, we know so much more about ourselves than we did in Freud's time.

Natasha
Chiron Aries/4th house

posted November 10, 2010 05:16 AM            

quote:

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So we're sharing a pillow and he confesses he has always secretly felt he was a girl; and I confess I have always secretly felt I was a boy.

So we lay there in the dark and both understood.

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THIS is intimacy, to me.