Lindaland
  Sweet Peas In The Rain
  The Allure of Unattainable Men! (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   The Allure of Unattainable Men!
maya-v
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 07:17 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Why do we get so attracted to men who are, at least astrologically, totally wrong for us? So many times on this forum, I see women going crazy over some man who would perhaps never understand them like others, who would be emotionally unavailable or who would just not be the one for them. Like, a fiery forthright Aries girl falling for the intense Scorpio man, or the earthbound Taruean falling for the wandering archer? Do we have a suicide wish or a fool's hope to perhaps work the magic of love and make the impossible a heavenon earth?

Does anyone else see the pattern here?

IP: Logged

Aen
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 07:43 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Personally I've always thought that my Venus conj Neptune, Venus Sextile Uranus aspects & Chiron in 7th are the reason for not having stomach for nice and sweet. Of course, if it isn't fireworks, I may keep busy with other aspects of my life, so I'd rather not complain.

I wonder what Venus aspects are for othe women you mentioned? Anyone care to share?


Aen
Venus in Sag/3rd
conj Neptune, sextile Uranus, trine Chiron

IP: Logged

Aquarian Girl
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 07:46 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I see a pattern. I've fallen hardest for 3 Pisceans and one Virgo, although that was many years ago.

All my male friends are Air and Fire signs. But nothing serious ever comes of it, even where there are very deep feelings (I'm thinking of my Libra sun/moon best friend in particular here).

I've decided I want a man with an Air/Fire sun and an Earth moon and Venus/Mars in Air/Fire too... That's my astrological wishlist!

*sends it out into the universe*

IP: Logged

Aquarian Girl
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 07:50 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aen, I also have Venus conjunct Neptune in the 3rd.

I always thought this had a lot to do with the reason I seem to get idealized at the beginning... The men I get involved with get obssessed and then realize I'm not the "Miss Perfect" they though I was and then it sours from there.

I get put on this pedestal and then rudely knocked off when they crash back down to earth

IP: Logged

Archer
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 08:14 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
opposites attract. taurus and sag are contradicting signs. if they both are evolved then they both would find in the other what he/she lacks. eg...taurs has stability and sustainance while sag has speed and aunique way to think. etc...

IP: Logged

ariestiger
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 09:42 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, I guess we all idealize the unattainable to some extent We all have dreams.
Objectively speaking, there are no right and wrong matches, what is most important is how one vibes off the other person, similar interests, level of maturity, etc. Ultimately, I am not going to tie myself in knots over an astrological chart. It's fun, it's a useful tool, but like most useful tools, it can't encompass the whole range of functions.
And it is important that relationships not be "forced", but that they occur because the partners genuinely like each other, and that each partner goes into the relationship with their eyes open. It is also important not to have any regrets. This of course hangs on making informed decisions. But astrology cannot make all these decisions for us.

LOL

AriesTiger

IP: Logged

maya-v
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 11:49 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh I know what you are talking abt. Its just that it often happens that I will meet men I like a lot but there will be something amiss - we would be talking in different languages, especially if its abt things like commitment and the future. And before you know it, you have said or done something to violate their secret code of righteous conduct. It happened to me with an Aqua guy and it is happening again with an archer. I am a Taurean with a Virgo ascendant so sometimes I wonder if I am doing something wrong or not doign something ... just wondering if others feel that way too!

IP: Logged

The_Toothfaerie
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 12:09 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I hope Im being safe with another Aquarian, although he drives me crazy from time to time with his possesivness, we are best friends, and even better lovers...if you get my drift, I'm Aquarius sun and moon, and taurus ascendant, and hes Aquarius sun, Leo moon, and Cap ascendant...is that a good combo?

IP: Logged

sthenri
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 12:26 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Opposites attract to teach each other something about life, its' painful and deep and the only way to learn is to come together. The challenge with men who are unattainable, is to live with them everyday, be ordinary so they are not fantasy men. if you can't live with one then you are into the fantasy and you are not ready to commit. Many times these men are ready to commit but they sense some kind of fear in you.

The only way to know is to live day to day with one, and then you know him, and he knows you. building a nest will tame a man who wants to be tamed but some women don't see that and prefer to believe in old patterns.

I have chased many such men away when they were ready to commit because I was so cynical about their motives. Have the nest ready:>
After all you are the Mamma bird and he is the baby, otherwise you would be the one under his control. If I can get an Aqua to hang around me all the time, you can get a Sag. The difference is patience for immaturity and an attractive home base with no questions asked.

Just have faith and everything works out. once you stop having faith in yourself to keep your partner, the relationship falls apart. You may not want him anymore and think it's because he's now yours, but it's a lack of faith and security in yourself. Shore up your own foundation and you will always be happy, and he will see that and be happy too.

Speaking as one who always has to guide and have faith in the relationships, it's best to have a drink once in a while and forget the little stuff. If you have faith you can do that.

Like my Grandparents always used to say, love is faith, people have no faith have no love. I would say what if your partner dies and leaves you all alone? Why bother marrying anyone at all? and my Grandfather said you have no faith, you will have to work on that..

Natasha

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 11, 2005 02:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with Natasha. There is always a lesson to be learned, but one also needs to understand what they are getting into. Take the time to really look at the person and their own interchart aspects, then look at how those aspects challenge or complement yours.

IP: Logged

maya-v
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 03:34 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How do you break up with a wall? I tried to call him, but it doesnt work. He freaks everytime I try to break up and disappears on me. Now he is just ignoring my messages and I am not sure if we are on or off and obviously its driving my sweet, simple little bull mind up the wall! And he should know, there is nothing more dangerous than a confused, angry bull.

IP: Logged

pixelpixie
Knowflake

Posts: 396
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 11, 2005 03:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maya~
As long as there are no china shops around, go ahead and charge a bit. Its cathartic. Then you can dis-charge the anger and face him with calm.

IP: Logged

maya-v
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 03:43 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OK I did it ... I gave him a very firm ultimatum to call me or get in touch within an hour or thats it, we're through. Now the wait is on ... I will need all of my patience to deal with this hour - it will be the longest 60 min ever!

Send some strength my way, knowflakes, I really need it today!

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 11, 2005 03:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nothing works better for an Archer than a dose of our own medicine.

Call him up- leave a message and back it up with an e-mail. Tell him

" I am not one that can go without closure. It is obvious that you are too immature to participate in a conversation concerning our relationship. I can only take your silence and an answer that you feel as I do, the relationship is over. I wish you lots of luck with your life".

End it. That is all- if he wants the relationship to continue he will not let you go. Sometimes you NEED to tell us "I am tired of your stupid games and running- JUST GO if that is what you want, but DO NOT COME BACK".

IP: Logged

maya-v
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 04:00 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Pidaua, Thanks for the support sweeite, you guys are my rock! I am just pasting the email I sent him, tell me when you have read it so that I can edit it. I also left him a voice message saying that I would be available for abt an hour online or on the phone, now all thatis left to do is wait! Wish me luck, I really like the stupid moron.

*edited*

IP: Logged

maya-v
unregistered
posted January 11, 2005 04:16 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My previousmail to him was sweeter and it told him how I feel abt him and how i will always love him

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 11, 2005 07:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmmm...well, knowing Archers the way that I do, I would recommend laying off the guilt trip (phrases like - go ahead and leave me- I will survive) those kinds of things make us cringe and validate us leaving.

Also phrases like "I watched you log on and off" feels like a stalker.

Just state:

I am sure that you are checking your e-mail, so I am going to lay things out on the line.

I love you and I always will because you will always hold a special place in my heart. Bearing that in mind, I am not a doormat and I am not about to put up with your fear of intimacy or inabiltiy to express your emotions.

It is NOT a weakness to love and to be able to show love. It IS a weakness to fear love and run from any display of kindness, tenderness and affection.

I am a strong person and I am secure with my needs and feelings. Needing someone in life in a relationship context is quite different than being "needy". I am not needy, but I do enjoy being around you and experiences things with you.

I would like to work this out, either to give us both some closure in order to move on, or so that we can address the issues that seem to push us apart.

If I don't hear from you within a few days, then I will know your answer. Please keep in your mind that I did try, that you are special to me and I wish you the best.

____________________________________
Keep the other letter to remind yourself of the pain. Write more, get it out, write out what you hate.

I love this book "Love, Sex and Magick" by Sirona Knight. She goes over the myths we have about love and how we need to first look into ourselves- what we want and do not want, in order to actually look for love.

If you keep finding yourself with men that cannot express love or commit, maybe in your heart you really DON'T want to commit. I've been down that path before and I know others (men) that are walking that path as well.

Please keep in touch..let me know what happens..I am wishing the best for you!!!

IP: Logged

maya-v
unregistered
posted January 12, 2005 05:00 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you so much Pidaua, for your input. I have a good mind to copy paste the exact thing and what you said before in your previous post! (thank god for sagi frankness!) But I think I might've spoilt the effect by sending the whiny one before ...
Should I still send this one? Do you think it will be still effective?

- you're an

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 12, 2005 04:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
HI Maya,

No worries...I think you did just fine, you followed your heart and one can't be any more honest than that

We all live and learn..hell I have sent my fair share of letters where I didn't quite hit the point LOL..oh well...

I am sorry for your broken heart ( I said something to you on the "sisters" thread). You seem like a great person- one that is strong and has a lot to offer.

Don't give up..The Taurus guy I am with married a Sag (and divorced- she was evil) then dated one when he was in Korea that wouldn't get out of bed or call the cops when he was being attacked by robbers and almost married a Gemini but she turned out to be on medication for her bi-polar disorder and didn't like to take it when she was feeling good. Sooooo....he had to go through a few Archer (and one opposite) frogs to find me...his Princess LMAO...


Luckily for him, I am not on medication, I can speed dial 911 like no ones business (not to mention I have a bat and a 9mm - so I feel sorry should one try to break in our house) and I am not evil..well not too evil

and Trust me...we do still have our HUGE problems LOL...sometimes I need to light a fire under his Bull-butt to get him motivated..he looks at me like I am a bit high-strung (yes..I know..it's true) and like a fly about a bit like a spaz...I have LOTS of energy.

He likes my undying attention..I have Archer ADD...BUT..when it comes to xbox...I do not exist for about 8 hours a day (yeah, my Aries moon put a stop to that let me tell ya..LOL) Okay...here is a funny story..I hope it makes you laugh...

A way to a bull-boys heart is through his...stomach right?

Well, I bought him the xbox as a Christmas present- NOT thinking a person could actually play it for more than a few hours at a time (he can go for about 13 hours). I thought..Hmmm....I am becoming an xbox widow..this better not interfere with my play time. So I dedided...I will BAKE BROWNIES.....yeah, that will get him to come out.

So I did..and he did...to take about 4 of him on a plate TO EAT WHILE HE PLAYED XBOX!!!!! I was like..dude!! Do I need to paste them to my naked body to get your attention...a BIG grin crept over his face..."yeah..that would be nice".

LOL....

IP: Logged

maya-v
unregistered
posted January 12, 2005 04:29 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I love you Pidaua! You guys are so lucky! I can now say for sure I have lost my perfectly beautiful archer - no phone calls, no messages for the last 48 hours. I feel terrible, I look and sound terrible, have no energy or anything.

Bu yeah, you did the right thing by baking those brownies. An even better idea would be to suggest, vey artfully, how you would love some fresh air and the feel of damp grass under your feet - how beautiful it looks outside and how you can just smell the rain soaking the parched earth outside ... as you slowly take your clothes off to slip into going-out gear. Then wink at him, and suggest some of your friends (including guys) are planning a trip to the zoo or park or a picnic or something and how you would probably join them. Believe me, you'll have his attention!

IP: Logged

was weird purple sparkles
unregistered
posted January 12, 2005 04:54 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oh ((((((((((maya-v))))))))))

still can't find those darn hug smilies. i am sad for you, for your loss. but someday, hopefully soon, you will feel refreshed and reinvigorated! as a taurean, you need someone who can APPRECIATE you and your many gifts!! take heart..

IP: Logged

maya-v
unregistered
posted January 12, 2005 04:57 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Sparkles - My Sweet of Happiness!
God bless you - God bless all of you!

IP: Logged

maya-v
unregistered
posted January 12, 2005 05:09 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thinking of sending him an Alanis CD - the one with all those angry songs abt her ex - whaddaya think?

IP: Logged

was weird purple sparkles
unregistered
posted January 12, 2005 05:19 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
baby, maybe you need to SING those songs as loud as you can, and get it all out!!

if you are ready to let him go, then sending anything to him would just give him control and perpetuate and prolong the pain. my feeling is you need to find YOUR strength right now!! you need to love yourself, and not worry about him.. he is insensitive, and probably always will be.. if he hasn't even contacted you in 2 days..

but i am really not good with these things, breakups and such, and i know how much pain you must be in. my heart goes out to you i really hope things get easier for you soon.. you are such a sweet person.

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 12, 2005 06:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you Maya..LOL I will try that when he gets back in March. For now, I am just occupying my time when getting things organized here (since he left for training I don't have to have the heat up to 73 degrees..LOL...and I can SEE the bedroom floor (his gear is now in his office..but used to somehow spread to all over the house).

Yes...you guessed it..I am an Anal Retentive Archer (Virgo rising...LOL)

As for your Archer...

Cut him loose. No CD's (that will be seen as a guilt trip)no peoms, letters...etc....if anything wait a month or so and then just send him an e-mail (if you truly mean it) that there are no hard feelings and you wish him the best. Trust me, his own guilt for doing what was wrong will eat on him. He will end up calling or writing to you to apologize.

BUT...something tells me you have done this before or threatened to do it but never followed through. He may be waiting to see if you will fold..don't..let him sit in his little cave all by himself and think about what a horses a$$ he has been

IP: Logged


This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2011

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a