posted November 06, 2010 08:28 PM            

quote:

---

Well there ARE objective realities, Lucia, as far as distortions such as "I am worthless"
See what I mean?

---

I think the idea of "worth" is philosophically complicated, potentially contentious, often culturally inscribed, and deeply, deeply subjective.

"It is four pm, eastern standard time"=objective.

"This is worthy/valuable/beautiful/ugly/exciting/boring/dumb/smart."=subjective.

posted November 06, 2010 08:31 PM            

Children are usually sane if no one messes with them
These distortions are simple,not complicated,IME

posted November 06, 2010 10:50 PM            

quote:

---

What I'm starting to realize, at almost 30 years of age, is that healing seems like an endless path.

At times, you patch up the holes that are too old to cry over anymore. And, then you lose someone again, are hurt again, get old, feel lonely at times, etc... you're back where you started...

And you are back in the water.

I've started to accept that life is a process of treading water. It's a matter of survival and trying to find peace in the midst of chaos and the reality that you will eventually lose everything - even your own life.

I feel so deeply that it paralyzes me, at times. When I love, I love with everything I am. When I am hurt, I hurt like it's the first time I've ever hurt...

Sometimes it's easier to try to shut it all out and just survive. Then, somedays after spending so much time in that fortress I take a peek outside and there's nothing out there but the afternoon sunshine on the lawn and a bunch of happy fireflies... I ask myself how I ever grew to be so afraid of feeling pain.

Pain and life are hand and hand. You can't have one without the other. As scary as the thought, that is what I believe to be truth.

---

I let panic attacks shut me down in my teens/early-mid twenties. Had I even gone to the library once a week, the bookstore, to my mother's office - anything - I would have been better off than I was (anxiety-wise - I would have overcome it a lot sooner). My sister's therapists were useless, so I didn't go that route (I was wary, anyhow). I listened to those with Social Anxiety, who said that talk therapy didn't help, support groups wouldn't help (because they didn't know how to deal with SA people, other than pointing out that everyone gets shy, once in a while). I knew about Receovery Inc. in 1997, but couldn't get to a meeting - I bought the book a few years ago, when met with fresh anxiety and wanting to deal with it in a healthy way - and their way of dealing *makes sense*. I wish I'd bought it years ago. It doesn't matter what the problem (at least with anxiety), people have been helped. So, I need a smacking-head icon, because I knew about them when I was twenty-two, and I didn't find a way to get there. (Tonight, I found myself envying a twenty-two-year-old, her job working with kids, her wanting to make the most of her twenties).

Saturn Return + transiting Uranus hitting my chart all over the place, helped me. I wanted to be in charge of my own life.

I had someone tell me that he didn't think I wanted to get better (when I was twenty-two); he was wrong and I told him so (because he was). I could somehow see where my fears were silly- I knew that there were good people in the world, but the panic beat anything else. I could be feeling great, only to have it hit and leave me a mess, once I was trying to face it.

posted November 06, 2010 11:09 PM            

quote:

---

Lots of families are characterized by toxic, undermining patterns even without overt, "bad" abuse. But also, IMO, the various societies people live in can be corrosive to self-esteem! I think it takes creativity, love, and perseverence for ANYONE to have a fun, happy, healthy life, even if they are not victims of overt abuse. I wish a fun, happy, healthy life just came naturally--it ought to be everyone's birthright--but it seems we have to work at it.

---

posted November 06, 2010 11:19 PM            

Jane (?) mentioned her brother, and what she or he associated with his Chiron. (It was something I related to.) I have Chiron conjunct my Mercury/Ceres/Sun in the 6th.

posted November 06, 2010 11:57 PM            

quote:

---

And the other two planets whofve also been making us dig around in the emotional muck of our contribution to society shift direction this week and start to move forward. Itfs all part of our getting ready to start the next chapter. Chiron and Neptune in Aquarirus have been going retrograde since May. This week, they both stop, station and turn direct.

Stopped Neptune can be VERY emotional. Stopped Chiron can be VERY wounded or wounding. They stop within two days and 1 degree of each other, stimulating them both as well as you.

BUT they both are shifting and getting healthier and better once they move direct. So watch for a fast shot to your soulfs wound from the world this week. It is about the universe trying to transform you. Watch for sudden emotional awakenings this week. It is about the universe connecting you to your soulfs path ~ or perhaps reconnecting you. Watch for transcendence and evolution and understanding as they both stop and talk to each other and you about why, exactly, you are here.

---

posted November 07, 2010 05:50 AM            

He shows a clear, loving , healing, supportive and STRONG way out of all this mess.

ANYONE--e mail me if you want his name . You can order his things his site.

posted November 07, 2010 06:00 AM            

I was so blown away by the power of her post that I remembered it ,too lol

posted November 07, 2010 06:05 AM            

Neptune rules distortions. I am very Neptune dominant, the strongest influence in my chart.

There is the flip side of every planet.Neptune rules distortions but also creativity and imagination etc.

As I see more distortions( displace Neptune from places it should NOT be) my Pluto and Mars come out to the proper place .

I can feel that. This past week, I pulled my Pluto out 3 times in my heal life.

3 people violated my boundaries. My Pluto pushed them back, strongly but firmly.
This,ONLY ,happened cuz I am putting Neptune back to it's proper place.

I cannot live in a fairy tale world( Neptune's distortions)
It won't work as an adult.

posted November 07, 2010 06:42 AM            

Jane's comment was on Chiron and her mother, I think.

She had to deal with the Chiron wound with her mother .
She saw her mother's woundedness, I think.
She was able to detach from her mother and become her own person.

Jane is a total gift
I love her!!

posted November 07, 2010 06:45 AM            

I wish I'd had different, more positive things to talk about though - other than things like Chiron. I can be a mess at times, but I also love my life (most of the time).

quote:

---

Teasel
As far as distortions, there HAVE to be distortions at the root of your social anxiety( distortions are at the root of everyone's problems)
We say things to ourselves but are not AWARE of what they are .
These things run( and ruin ) our lives.
Once you see them( take off Neptunes fog), you can be free.

---

Oh, yes, I know. I've worked on that for a long time, I just don't always get to be out around people - in a work or school environment - for a long period of time, to build up my social skills once again (properly), and enjoy myself in that way, more often. I've seen the distortions for years, but the damage was done, and I would want to avoid nice people, because I made them uncomfortable. When I was nineteen, I remember taking a chance on speaking up about something - joining in with my dad's friends and their daughter - and they looked visibly relieved.

posted November 07, 2010 07:10 AM            

Spoken from a Gemini stellium in the 8th house