Posts: 3392
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 15, 2010 11:43 PM         

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Go easy on yourself

I think you've come a very long way and are still young...!

I swear tho, your relationship with your parents sounds a lot like mine! My dad was very absent and abandoned me (my mom divorced him and he never bothered to make an effort toward me) but I always ADORED him. My mom, I had to take care of emotionally and 'raise' her. Up until my mid-twenties, my body was pretty much shut down. I had plenty of sex (if anything I was very predatory toward men when I was younger lol) but it seemed like an out of body experience and I pretty much was emotionally shut down. But I did open up...all on my own.

Anyway, I think giving yourself space is a good thing and not putting pressure on yourself. You've already acknowledged it, so I am sure it will get better
Have you done any body work at all?

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Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 15, 2010 11:43 PM         

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Is your chart ruler still Rx or has it progressed out of that?

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Posts: 37
From: Los Angeles, CA, US
Registered: Aug 2009

posted November 15, 2010 11:54 PM         

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MVM- Aw, thank you. I used to be a hot mess just two years ago alone, so the peace I have now for the most part was of a long time coming. I feel like sex is the "final frontier" of my demons to tackle that I had a basket full of once adolescence came around. It's crazy how we have a similar parent dynamic! My dads absence and all the love I had for him really messed me up for a while. I feel like had I not been raised by my Eastern Indian grandmother and not been the prude I was/am, I would have been sexually predatory myself, lol

Raspberri - I just looked at my progressed chart for today and Mercury isn't retrograde, does that signify a more cleared up, rational thought process on my part? I felt very messed up not even a week ago about some guy I thought I could see myself being physically intimate with

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Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 16, 2010 12:03 AM         

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How do you mean?
I'm guessing by your Aqua Moon there is more going on here?
Hey I live in West Hollywood, U?

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Posts: 3392
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 16, 2010 12:09 AM         

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If your Mercury is progressed direct I'm pretty sure it's direct for a while, isn't that right Raspberri? I don't think it changes within a day, it stays for longer.

And jeez, you were raised by your grandmother too? I was as well! LOL and I was totally predatory...but I think it was just my way of dealing with things, thinking if I become the aggressor then I am not a 'victim' and no one can try to 'fix' me (very effed up thinking on my part, I admit. I just disassociated with the parts I didn't like and turned them inside out to keep everyone emotionally at arm's length...still learning to drop my guard. I have a talent for complicating things ).

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