Posts: 37
From: Los Angeles, CA, US
Registered: Aug 2009

posted November 15, 2010 10:27 PM         

---

To the point where they've spent years abstaining from it for no real moralistic reason other than the fact they just get paralyzed with terror at the thought? But they are a ridiculously social/charming person with no awkwardness except in that arena in life. How would they overcome this obstacle?

IP: Logged

Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 15, 2010 10:34 PM         

---

I think it's the luminary square with Pluto. Especially because the Moon is in Aquarius.

IP: Logged

Posts: 270
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 15, 2010 10:37 PM         

---

It depends. What are they scared of?

Mars in Pisces could choose no sex - simply because it is not that necessary to them. They can enjoy a spiritual connection sans the physicality.

But they probably do watch a lot of sex and fantasize.

Are you sure this is fear and not something else?

I mean Neptune/Pisces can also get phobic for strange reasons because the Piscean imagination runs wild.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 15, 2010 10:38 PM         

---

I have Mars in Pisces and I love sex.

IP: Logged

Posts: 37
From: Los Angeles, CA, US
Registered: Aug 2009

posted November 15, 2010 10:41 PM         

---

Sex was never an issue that was made a big deal out of because it was so easy to push it off to some later date where it would actually matter (clearly a late bloomer as far as desire was concerned), but it wasn't until being 20 years old rolled around and once a date would escalate to that point, there would be this manic resistance to everything relating to physical touch. It is truly bizarre because there is no history of sexual abuse, either. And there is burgeoning desire, too, my friend has admitted this to me. But she finds it hard to bring herself to get to that point with another person. Kind of reminds me of Greta Garbo in that sense.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 15, 2010 10:45 PM         

---

I have to say that when a luminary is afflicted by Pluto or Saturn there was most likely abuse in the childhood. What kind, I don't know.

But that Aquarius Moon gives a clue. Where was mommy?

IP: Logged

Posts: 270
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 15, 2010 10:46 PM         

---

quote:

---

manic resistance to everything relating to physical touch.

---

I do love sex..

But to be honest - When I feel very strongly about someone.. When I actually fall in love - I have a similar fear and resistance to being physically close to them.

My Sun is conjunct her Venus.. and I have Mars conj Neptune, Venus trine Neptune - Pisces Merc (on her Mars) & Jupiter. (AC in Cancer). My Venus is in Taurus, but far away from her Sun.

sigh

For me - it's just that the intensity is too much at times. And I want to stay away. It's hard to explain.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 15, 2010 10:47 PM         

---

You are actually scared of yourself not the other person.

IP: Logged

Posts: 270
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 15, 2010 10:49 PM         

---

hmmm I'm scared of us being that close.

I don't know if I'm scared of myself. I'm scared that if I get that close - I'll never be able to let go again.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1095
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 15, 2010 10:54 PM         

---

I'd agree with the above statement, that it's likely the square with Pluto to the Aquarius Moon in 5th house...

The 2nd being the house of Taurus (in Scorpio), she probably has an intense need to be in control and have control over tangible things... material and sensuality...

However, Pluto in the 2nd house means abrupt and unforseen changes and losses in the material realm.

She is going to need to get over her need to control "tangibly" her love affairs, get over her need to control money and material posessions.... it is inevitable for her that this area she will lose and regenerate, with or without her permission.

Her Aquarius Moon in 5th house wants to express itself freely and without restraint in romance...

But, her need to control is putting an end to that.

Pluto is also conjunct Juno, so this need to be in control may become an issue in the future regarding marriage... where there are issues of control and abrupt loss played out in that arena, as well.

This square sounds painful, but obviously this is an area of her chart that she will need to come to terms with...

Issues of freedom of expression and sexuality vs. control, loss, abrupt endings...

IP: Logged

Posts: 3392
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 15, 2010 11:01 PM         

---

Wow, I'm not really into asteroids, but look at all those tsquares Eros is at the apex of!!!
Eros is also squaring Chiron, AND Ceres. I'm sorry, I think this person is frightened to lose themselves in intimacy, but I don't think it will always seem this way.
They are very set in their ways and might even think their abstaining is like 'spiritual' or something (or tried to).

Just looking at the tsquares, the 'outlet' they get smooth aspects to is actually Pluto, and in the 2nd of all places... the house of self-worth. So cathartic, intense personal transformation of their self-worth is what is needed in order for them to feel more comfortable with their sexuality.
Maybe just not being scared of the primordial body, or put off by it thinking it is too base or nasty (it might be like that now). The ruler of the 8th house, house of primordial things, is Aries, and Mars is in the 6th in Pisces...I would say it's not a great place but it's part of a grand trine, so some internal stuff just needs to be tweaked

Just my two cents!

IP: Logged

Posts: 3392
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 15, 2010 11:04 PM         

---

Looks like I am seeing it the opposite of some here. To me Pluto is the solution, and not the problem. It might just feel like the problem because it's forcing her to address things she is very uncomfortable with.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 15, 2010 11:07 PM         

---

Well Pluto is the Problem because when you are a child, the actions of your superiors shape you, and when Pluto afflicts a luminary it means hard core emotional problems rooted from that.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3392
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 15, 2010 11:11 PM         

---

Looking at it from another angle, Pluto gets very positive outlets. It maybe a bad square but if a planet gets no outlets then it is negative, if it gets smooth aspects, then it will eliminate any further bottlenecking. She might be able to make some peace with Pluto eventually! I mean, she HAS to lol

The Eros tsquares are hitting me dead in the face here. Im just going by my intuition and what my gut tells me

IP: Logged

Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 15, 2010 11:17 PM         

---

Well Saturn is about to trine that MOON so maybe it will help.

IP: Logged

Posts: 37
From: Los Angeles, CA, US
Registered: Aug 2009

posted November 15, 2010 11:18 PM         

---

raspberri - Raised by a single mother, the father was absent for the most part, the thing is that the mother was emotionally abusive and immature herself, forcing the person this chart belongs to to grow up at a young age and inevitably "mother" her own young, beautiful mother and numerous boyfriends that went in and out of her life for years. I mean, I might as well admit that this is my own chart as hugely embarrassing as it is to talk (or even think about).

MVM - there is DEFINITELY this notion that the abstinence is masked as some kind of spiritual overcoming. For a while throughout my late teens I was truly convinced I was asexual, because it was just so easy to repress the thought of sex because as it "simplified" my life, even though it was the path of least resistance. By the time I was around 19 it was unbearable to pretend that these feelings didn't exist anymore, so they've been embraced SOMEWHAT but the thought of legitimate intercourse is still some far off.. thing. That feels like it'll never be accomplished. And I mean, I want it to! I hate not being able to progress, but this is just the greatest long standing demon I have yet to conquer in my life. It's hard to articulate.

IP: Logged

Posts: 285
From:
Registered: Aug 2009

posted November 15, 2010 11:19 PM         

---

To me this looks like a couple of different things. All of which though, stem from that Pluto. Pluto in Scorpio automatically has a very sexual tone to it and expresses itself deeply in that area. Especially true in the 2nd house which relates to sex, which adds a layer of aesthetic and self esteem based concern to the whole thing. It is quincunx Venus in the 7th, which is a pretty tight orb and the first red flag to me. This means that the person's sexual compulsions (we all have them) are not in harmony with their sense of being loveable and/or loving another. They might be really scared that their sexuality will scare their partner (even more so true since Venus is in the 7th) and this sets up a fearful dynamic in their psyche where they deny themselves love and sexuality by not allowing these two energies to interact. Quincunxes are like a difficult fit/major tension and I think a lot of times there's a tendency to just give up altogether with this aspect because the two planets seem to really be coming from places that make no sense to one another.

I think the close square from the Moon in Aquarius to that Pluto is also probably making matters worse. Aqua moons appreciate cold objectivity and tend to not like to get too involved with deeper, more complicated and enigmatic emotional issues which might be beyond their interest or comprehension. The Moon is about comfort so its square to Pluto means that the person's sexual compulsions are also a threat to their sense of comfort in a big way. Since the Moon is in the 5th, which relates to what we like in romance, again another layer that probably deepens the whole issues emerges- namely that what the person is comfortable with romantically is not in harmony with what they need sexually. Since it's the moon this might be unconscious which exacerbates that tension since they are less likely to be rational about it or be able to look at it as a "fixable" issue- they feel it really deep down and that can be very scary and make things seem insurmountable. Since the Moon also relates to the past it's likely they have had experiences in their early life which strongly justify the tension they feel between their comfortable and romantic needs and their sexuality.

I think the sextile between the Moon and Venus, and their interaction with that Pluto probably doesn't help matters either. The Moon and Venus understand each other here, and their energies work in harmony. So the person most likely "sides" with their Moon and Venus since there is a back-and-forth with the sextile that leads to justifying and solidifying both planets behaviors. It's like they team up against Pluto in a way by making so much sense to one another and both not really being in harmony with Pluto.

But what is working for them is the trine from Mars to Pluto. It's in the 6th in Pisces which I think might mean if they can approach sex from there (which shouldn't be TOO hard, it's Mars after all) they can begin to have healing experiences through sexuality (also enforced by Pluto's trine to Chiron in Cancer). Pisces and the 6th house have in common the notion of losing yourself- with Pisces it's a spiritual thing and with the 6th house it's a very physical thing- literally tending to servicing all the little physical things that make up sex. This could activate the Pluto from a different perspective and allow Pluto and sex to actually help heal and deepen one's self esteem (2nd house), their sense of loveability in relationships (Venus) and their sense of comfort in romance (Moon in the 5th). All Mars/Pluto aspects though, even those that are soft, have a sense of domination and power struggles related to sexuality. And in my experience they tend to hold off from sex for long periods of time until they think someone is truly worthwhile. Mars in the 6th is very picky too- so that probably also adds to all this- they want cleanliness, physical neatness...but they are also very kinky and like to approach sex from there. I think that if they embrace that part of themselves that might help.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 15, 2010 11:20 PM         

---

Don't worry Hun, we all have problems because of our parents. I had an abusive mother as well, but I learned to overcome it at a young age, when I learned that I was in charge of the quality of my life.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3392
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 15, 2010 11:21 PM         

---

Yes hopefully it will.

I just remembered a friend of mine with a similar aspect with an Aqua Moon and some challenging stuff. She didn't have an issue with sex as far as I know - she didn't like being touched or hugged by people though. She felt very uncomfortable with it. Recently she's gotten into massage therapy and is studying it and has to get massages herself and it's like her whole world is exploding (in a good way) open. It's been very cathartic and healing for her. Maybe just body work is the way to go for this stuff.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 15, 2010 11:23 PM         

---

Your father may have been absent, but you have Sun trine Jupiter exact which means you have the power inside of yourself; you developed this positive quality on your own.

Your NN is conjunct your MOON you're gonna have to get through your fears.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3392
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 15, 2010 11:25 PM         

---

Ahh, my alarm bells were going off when I saw this chart, I'm sorry it's been so hard for you

My mom too was single and raised me and was very emotionally cold. Later over the years she'd try to hug me and I'd be like EW it feels wrong to be touched by you lol.
I've kind of gotten over it but I do not associate my mother with good touch at all.

I'm sure you'll come out the other side as well

IP: Logged

Posts: 3392
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted November 15, 2010 11:25 PM         

---

Aww jeez so many of us here with mom issues present and past

IP: Logged

Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 15, 2010 11:28 PM         

---

Find something creative to do with yourself and find fulfillment in that as that path can guide you to happiness and your destiny.

I left my mommy issues in the dust when I was 16...

IP: Logged

Posts: 37
From: Los Angeles, CA, US
Registered: Aug 2009

posted November 15, 2010 11:36 PM         

---

staborgi - That was definitely an epic response. I relate so deeply with what you said about Pluto quincunx Venus in the 7th and how I deny myself my sexuality out of fear. There's something about giving myself up to abandon that feels so "irresponsible", as I've always had to deal with taking care of my mother and all her emotional coldness all my life, I had to find pleasure in more intellectual things like reading and the arts in order to not go insane for a very long time. Plus I'm sure a lot of here grew up with the notion that boys were "only after one thing" that may have tainted romance at an early age, or something of that sort. It's a hard notion to get rid of, that ridiculous conditioning at such a young age.

Raspberri - Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate them. My father being absent used to wound me in a deep way (he was my favorite person for so long), but I've always been big on platonic/spiritual relationships, and I feel like I've had so many father figures throughout my life to help fill in that hole he left, and everything is pretty at peace in that chapter in my life (thank God, that was an epic saga I never thought would end)

MVM - It's so creepy how they suddenly want to be buddy buddy out of nowhere! It's like hello, do you not remember all that unhealthy business you inflicted on me back in the day? lol it's so nuts. But all you can do is forgive and forget at the end of the day. I have forgiven my mother. I definitely have to go the route your friend did and learn to appreciate the human body. I've always been very clinical as far as that's concerned.. everytime I found myself in "that moment" where things were about to go down, it's always so hard to turn off my mind and go into cruise control, you know? That's when panic starts to set in and I have to get out of the situation as soon as possible. I just get so irrational, and I'm normally pretty well poised which is why that bothers me..

IP: Logged

Posts: 1504
From: venus
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 15, 2010 11:43 PM         

---

dp

IP: Logged