posted December 18, 2010 05:50 AM            

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quote:

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Being loved by all is little fun
Unless you're also loved by one.
~Robert Brault

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posted December 18, 2010 02:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cappy1277:
i didn't start seeing a therapist until 5 years had passed and everything came back with a blinding fury that really took me to the edge...(pluto transit i would think...the art of letting go).
I too went on with life trying to hold on to maintain some normalcy. I am a single mother also, so it feels that sometimes you don't allow yourself to process the emotions that come from a negative experience as you have experienced because honestly you just don't have the time, lol.
My ex tried to ask for repentence and forgiveness so he could go on with his life but I couldn't give him that. Deep down inside I forgive him to give me the ability to move on with my life but I would never give him the satisfaction of thinking I could ever offer his soul perfection. He made me live through my own personal hell, its time he lives it...sidebar: he is now in prison serving time for stabbing his girlfriend multiple times...its never us..its the abusers that have the problem.

i wish you much luck in your journey. its a hard one but one that will be well worth it.

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Im so glad you got away from that before it was to late... You knew you had too, and did.. KUDOS!!

I also feel the forgiveness is the ultimate key, although very hard.. Once you achieve TRUE forgiveness, its so easy to move past it.. Acceptance first then forgiveness.. Knowing its not your fault.. I am not mad at him, I feel sorry for him... Hopefully I wont agree to met him in a next life..

I feel his karma will take care of it.. The universe will show him...

I have learned what I needed to know, so I can ensure it never happens again..

posted January 05, 2011 10:00 PM            

Im glad to hear others stories (you know what I mean) Im glad about everyone learning from it, and moving on to bigger and better...
Knowing that your worthy of better...

What strong women here on LL....

posted January 08, 2011 10:48 PM            

You must leave. Plan it out. Leave without a trace. There are numerous funds for women in your situation.

Call on friends to help you, even though you don't want to impose. Friends and family.

posted January 08, 2011 11:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by heatherlc:
Would appreciate any advice or input.in the midst of inner turmoil.got out of abusive marriage I was in from age 17 to 24.few months after that I met my now husband we've been together 10years have 2kids.80percent of time he is sweetest best friend ever than out of blue he becomes someone else and mentally physically emotionally abuses me.feel I'm walking on eggshells I am terrified but on other hand most times he is loving and kind and my best friend.I know I should leave he has been in and out of jail for domestic violence on me and for abducting me.I know he is bipolar or some mental illness,abuse runs in his family.on other hand a few years back I was diagnosed w lifethreatening illness have had 6surgeries 2colostomys he has never left my side changes bandages,bags,etc.but on the reverse he is very controlling and jealous I can have no friends etc can do nothing but be w him for fear of him hurting or killing me.than again most of time we r best friends.I know the obvious choice is for me to leave but if I did I would have to disapear and hide and never let him c kids he loves bcuz if I left I'm afraid I'd b killed.is this happening bcuz of how I left 1st husband and I'm repeating cycle bcuz somehow I need to find another way than to disapear??Very confused.there is more to all this but all I can write for now.

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Honey Im so sorry your going through this.. What he's doing is not love.. He's controlling you to stay. Hes putting fear into you... It will not get better.. You deserve better.. This is in no way your fault, and you are not worthy of such actions, neither are the kids...
I admit its a long tough road, but its something that you need to find the strength and courage to do.. Not only for yourself, but also for you kids..
Come up with a plan of action that works for you, than act on it... Also search the net for help... Outside sources are very good at hiding you..
You can do this!!! I can survive this terrible man.. He is not worthy of YOU...

posted January 10, 2011 07:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by heatherlc:
Thank you lioness and plutosquared.-Ive finally had someone to talk to about this and am making plans to leave,get on with my life and discover more of my higherself then being degraded and fearful in this marriage.I was afraid this was my karma but now realize it need not be anymore and to learn from this experience try to forgive aand in the meantime get my children and I to a safe place where we can experience the beauty of life and let the horror and fear go.I know it will be a long hard road but you all have set me in the right direction

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posted January 10, 2011 08:07 PM            

JOHNSON CITY

Interfaith Hospitality Network
210 W. Fairview St.
Johnson City, TN 37601
423-929-9967

Safe Passage, Inc.
"Shelter for Women, Children & Men"
423-926-7233 (24 HOUR HOTLINE)
423-232-8920 (office, M-F 9-5)
P.O. Box 162, Johnson City, TN 37605

Provides a safe, secure and confidential haven for victims; lodging for up to 2 weeks; transportation, food, and clothing when needed; assistance as a liaison between client and JCPD, DHS, Housing Authority, School Systems, Health Department, physician, and utility companies to establish new living arrangements; advocates to gain orders of protection and other legal documents; on-site individual and group counseling; support groups in the community for after care; referrals to off premises counseling for individuals and families who do not need protection of a shelter.

KINGSPORT

Hope Haven for Women & Children
hopehavenkpt@embarqmail.com
423-246-7843

Safe House Shelter for Victims of Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 3426
KIngsport, TN 37664
423-246-2273

Salvation Army
423-246-6671

God speed. juni

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What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world is immortal"~

posted January 10, 2011 08:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by juniperb:
heatherlc,
You will need help and I strongly urge you to seek it immediately.
Here are some quick resourses I found in your area.

JOHNSON CITY

Interfaith Hospitality Network
210 W. Fairview St.
Johnson City, TN 37601
423-929-9967

Safe Passage, Inc.
"Shelter for Women, Children & Men"
423-926-7233 (24 HOUR HOTLINE)
423-232-8920 (office, M-F 9-5)
P.O. Box 162, Johnson City, TN 37605

Provides a safe, secure and confidential haven for victims; lodging for up to 2 weeks; transportation, food, and clothing when needed; assistance as a liaison between client and JCPD, DHS, Housing Authority, School Systems, Health Department, physician, and utility companies to establish new living arrangements; advocates to gain orders of protection and other legal documents; on-site individual and group counseling; support groups in the community for after care; referrals to off premises counseling for individuals and families who do not need protection of a shelter.

KINGSPORT

Hope Haven for Women & Children
hopehavenkpt@embarqmail.com
423-246-7843

Safe House Shelter for Victims of Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 3426
KIngsport, TN 37664
423-246-2273

Salvation Army
423-246-6671

God speed. juni

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Your a real Angel

posted January 10, 2011 11:11 PM            

We are a haven for your emotional and spiritual support yet you must move to a safe haven for your physical and mental health. You and your children deserve it.
Bless you and do share with us your ups, downs , progress and concerns.

juni

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What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world is immortal"~

posted June 01, 2011 03:30 AM            

I would like to say...... what an amazing bunch of incredible women!!

I cannot remember everyones names so I'll speak generally.

On an astrological note, not wanting to do the counseling, telling strangers your "secrets", does this sound like Pluto in the 7th to anyone else?

On the main point though, I have also come out of an abusive relationship and have begun a group therapy support course that will run for 16 weeks - I finished the 3rd week today. It is run at the community center, which is where I initially went for help.

I want to say, it has truly helped enormously (I was going to put this in capitals but it looked like I was yelling. I don't know how to do bold either.. you get my drift of the importance I hope). I didn't know where to start because I was only 1/2 a person when I was in the situation. I couldn't think straight either, for the full-on mind games, manipulation, and stress. I also am ill, with the big C that always takes a lot of my life focus. I couldn't believe that someone could treat someone else (me), so vulnerable so badly. Initially he told me to move in with him and he would take care of me, as the focus must be on me getting well. Within 2 weeks I realised what a mess I was in. But, I had nowhere to go (no family). It took me a while, but, I planned it, step by step, and really had to pace myself. If I acted up, he would've left me with rent I couldn't pay, as well as I was practically a basket case, could hardly face a day. I had to slowly get strong.

Anyhow, what I'm saying is, get the support. There are heaps of women out there in this situation, it's frigging amazing how powerful we can be when we start talking and networking (even online). Take the first step because, it will lead to other steps, and ultimately the course out of there and to safety. The road will unfold for you, just all by itself. You just have to allow it to by making the first step.

I will be posting his chart sometime soon to see what might indicate psychopathy ( I believe that he is such. I had also had sort of premonitions of him having strangled and murdered someone lately, in his past. I then later got the feeling it was me - past/future life maybe?) As well as both of our charts - it all being very interesting when you look at the astrology side of anything.

posted June 01, 2011 06:44 AM            

I am very glad for all of you who managed to get out. It takes a lot of courage and I am proud of all of you even if I don't know you personally.

I have dated women that have been in these types of relationships and it is very hard because of everything they went through. To those who have been there please do not close yourself up and not trust any man. We may be few and far between but we are out here.

Lioness thank you for sharing your story first that takes a lot of courage.

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Joe

posted June 01, 2011 08:53 AM            

I'm incredibly happy to read and hear that a lot of women do have the courage to escape such destructive relationships and find the strength to move on and leave those people behind. There is always an organisation around that can and will help, thankfully, our society takes domestic abuse very seriously even if it is only mental abuse (which should never be underestimated because repeatedly telling someone they are worthless does have the same traumatic effect as being beaten up for not doing things his way... )

Thankfully, I too realize that there still are good men out there. I do wish that every person gets what they deserve though, and that no good woman should ever end up with a wife beater...