Author
|
Topic: A Poll For The Ladies
|
Randall Webmaster Posts: 24262 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 08, 2011 07:17 PM
How important is confidence in a man...on a scale of 1 to 100? Do you prefer a strong dominant man in the bedroom (or one that can also change it up), or do you like a submissive man? In that same regard, do you like communication in the bedroom, or do you prefer a guy who is quiet? Do you like being directed and told what to do? And lastly, how do you feel about dirty talk? Do share! But keep it clean, ladies. IP: Logged |
EverEvolvingSpirit Knowflake Posts: 954 From: A Place of Pure Love <3 Registered: Feb 2011
|
posted February 08, 2011 07:25 PM
quote: Originally posted by Randall: How important is confidence in a man...on a scale of 1 to 100? Do you prefer a strong dominant man in the bedroom (or one that can also change it up), or do you like a submissive man? In that same regard, do you like communication in the bedroom, or do you prefer a guy who is quiet? Do you like being directed and told what to do? And lastly, how do you feel about dirty talk? Do share! But keep it clean, ladies.
Confidence in a man 100 (without being arrogant) In the bedroom I like a LOVING strong, dominant man. Sometimes he can switch it a little bit, it can be kinda fun but not too much. Submissive men make me nauseous. Eeew. I like to be directed and told what to do in the bedroom, I like communication from his end, but not a whole script. I do minimal talking. Dirty talk is always good as long as he's saying things that I like. ------------------ “You gotta give her up.” – Lisa Simpson “No, no, wait, hear my plan: put up with her for seven more years. Then we’ll get married, once the first baby comes along she's bound to settle down and start treating me right. After all, I deserve it.” – Bart Simpson IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared Knowflake Posts: 4500 From: Mars Registered: Aug 2010
|
posted February 08, 2011 07:26 PM
quote: Originally posted by Randall: How important is confidence in a man...on a scale of 1 to 100? Do you prefer a strong dominant man in the bedroom (or one that can also change it up), or do you like a submissive man? In that same regard, do you like communication in the bedroom, or do you prefer a guy who is quiet? Do you like being directed and told what to do? And lastly, how do you feel about dirty talk? Do share! But keep it clean, ladies.
I am attracted to a naturally confident person - that is someone who genuinely accepts himself and is comfortable. I am not attracted to self-inflated windbags full of conceit and judgment... what is the guy confident about? Sure, a guy can be confident about himself, but if he's a loser, the confidence makes the whole thing much worse. I value FLEXIBILITY in a man. That is, a guy who CAN be flexible and submissive if the situation calls for it - for example - in parenting, peacekeeping, and motivated by a wise leadership. A man who is simply submissive is not a sign of happiness and health, for me. I am an Aries, after all. I like a confident man in the bedroom, because there's nothing more attractive to me than a man who knows what he wants sexually and knows how to get it - a man who is unable to say what he wants, or is always looking for validation in the bedroom can be problematic. A note about that though, there's nothing more gross than an over-sexed and out of control sex-addict. A cheater, an intimacy-phobe, and a guy who can't tap into his emotions enough to truly have empathy and concern for his partner. GROSS. I tend to prefer a directly sexual man, considering the chemistry is right, however a guy who is selfish or not aware of my likes/dislikes or how I'm feeling is a sign of being dense, and not a turn-on in the long run. Conclusion: a guy with a wide-range here is always a +++.
IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 24262 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 08, 2011 07:37 PM
Very well-articulated, PS. I would say that most women would concur with you.IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared Knowflake Posts: 4500 From: Mars Registered: Aug 2010
|
posted February 08, 2011 07:38 PM
In that same regard, do you like communication in the bedroom, or do you prefer a guy who is quiet? Do you like being directed and told what to do? And lastly, how do you feel about dirty talk?If the quiet nature is coupled with direct action, very sexy. For instance, a guy who doesn't like to b.s. talk is not necessarily a confused guy, sometimes the opposite. And, yeah, if a guy has the right intentions, dirty talk and being told what to do is very hot. If the guy just naturally prefers to be that way, and is ALSO considerate to me, then... fine. I'll play that game... you Tarzan, me Jane? IP: Logged |
EverEvolvingSpirit Knowflake Posts: 954 From: A Place of Pure Love <3 Registered: Feb 2011
|
posted February 08, 2011 07:40 PM
quote: Originally posted by Randall: Very well-articulated, PS. I would say that most women would concur with you.
Si. I concur IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 24262 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 08, 2011 07:48 PM
Most women don't want to be told what to do outside of the bedroom, but behind closed doors, that's a different matter entirely.IP: Logged |
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 2432 From: Registered: Aug 2010
|
posted February 08, 2011 07:58 PM
From a male point of view, I can tell you a very difficult challenge, is being able to think clearly while the physical body and `Brain` are in control, all those chemicals and instincts take over and overwhelm.Usually right after, All brain faculties come back. It is just like a trick of nature. That is why smart people have a hard time breeding, You can become all too aware of it, and it spoils the experience. IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 24262 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 08, 2011 08:12 PM
It can be tricky. You have to relearn...or rather unlearn. But if a man's goal is pleasing his mate, then the success of that in and of itself can be pleasurable. And guys are usually afraid to act this way in the bedroom, because we are worried about what our mate will think...when, in fact, this is typically what females like. But if she has to tell her guy to be that way, it takes away the magic.IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 24262 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 17, 2011 07:40 PM
------------------ "Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 5477 From: Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted February 17, 2011 09:58 PM
I prefer a dominate man. Only I will fight it... lol... I fight it to see how dominate he really is.. (not mean or aggressive, just take charge, Im not into pain) but I also like to go back and fourth with dominance. The guy does have to have confidence. Actually I dont like routine. So changing it up is a good thing.. I dont want a quiet guy... I love love love the dirty talk.. Actually its a huge turn on for me.. Especially if he tells me what he's going to do and TELLS me how its going to feel and HOW I will react... OMG!!! My leo loves loves to play dress up IP: Logged |
Virgo-AriesArtist Knowflake Posts: 846 From: MidWest :) Registered: Jun 2009
|
posted February 18, 2011 12:13 AM
Confidence ranks about 95 (I think larger numbers mean I consider it important, right?) I like the idea of a dominant man, one who is not afraid to overpower me nearly all the time and enjoy it but it is also important that he lets me play seductress, and take charge when I'm craving the stage, so to speak. I enjoy being told what to do, and as a Virgo, I aim to serve and please...instruct me pretty please so I can do what I do better. My man should be verbal, but not vulgar.IP: Logged |
Betty Boop Knowflake Posts: 3377 From: Betty Boop Land Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted February 18, 2011 08:08 PM
I like this poll Randall.. But I have a feeling that most everyone who replied is rather fiery (astrologically speaking).. I wonder if you'd get different replies from less fiery women lolHere are my answers: quote: How important is confidence in a man...on a scale of 1 to 100?
I'd say 70.. But that's because it is framed as 'confidence'. What is really important to me is self-love. He has to love himself - That is 100% important.
quote: Do you prefer a strong dominant man in the bedroom (or one that can also change it up), or do you like a submissive man?
Dominant. I could switch sometimes, if the guy was into being submissive.. But this wouldn't turn me on. I'd feel like an actress playing a part.
quote: In that same regard, do you like communication in the bedroom, or do you prefer a guy who is quiet?
I like some well-timed communication but not constant communication. Silence has its virtues.
quote: Do you like being directed and told what to do?[/quoteI see this as part of him being dominant.. but I'd prefer to be physically, rather than verbally - directed. [quote] And lastly, how do you feel about dirty talk?
I like it as much as the next person lol- but it's not a huge turn on for me. I like to feel and experience the physicality of sex. Talking is only mildly attractive. IP: Logged |
mochai Knowflake Posts: 1168 From: Charon Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted February 19, 2011 11:32 AM
I want a guy I can feel safe with most of all. I want a soul to soul connection, someone I can become one with during union with no walls left behind. Whether he is confident or speaks dirty right doesn't matter as much. I don't like dirty talk as sometimes it makes the whole union feel less divine, but that's just me. I don't feel safe with many people. I can't enjoy sex with someone unless there's a lot of love invloved. It really turns me on to think that our connection has been going on for many lives, if not millenia, and this is just a small continuation of something more eternal.. that our souls are always together on a higher level, and they will be with me and support me through the thick and thin of many incarnations. I really really don't want kids, but I like a guy who would want to have kids/a family with me, and who I could see in that manner as I it lets me enjoy sex more. It turns me on to think the guy would be with me when I'm old and gray, on the verge of senility, loving me just as much if not more than when I was 25. I prefer more empathic communciation than verbal. My progressed mars however is in pisces as is my heliocentric mars.IP: Logged |
Lucia23 Knowflake Posts: 2395 From: Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 19, 2011 12:34 PM
quote: Confidence in a man 100 (without being arrogant)
Yes. What I like in the bedroom varies from man to man, because the most important thing is that he's 100% present, really being honest and natural and really being himself--no posturing or pretense. The men I have loved most and had the hottest sex with could also see past my defenses (in every context) and tell the difference between the real me and me being guarded, and tell when I was 100% with them or not. IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 24262 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted March 08, 2011 07:09 PM
Wow, great answers. ------------------ "Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 24262 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted March 17, 2011 05:07 PM
*bump for Newflakes*------------------ "Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan Knowflake Posts: 1245 From: New England Registered: Sep 2011
|
posted November 07, 2011 10:27 PM
quote: Originally posted by Randall: How important is confidence in a man...on a scale of 1 to 100? Do you prefer a strong dominant man in the bedroom (or one that can also change it up), or do you like a submissive man? In that same regard, do you like communication in the bedroom, or do you prefer a guy who is quiet? Do you like being directed and told what to do? And lastly, how do you feel about dirty talk? Do share! But keep it clean, ladies.
Confidence is a must, incredibly important if you're not sure of yourself how can anyone else be (100). Well, I'm Air/Fire dominant astrologically and generally I like an assertive man who has a strong sense of self. Kind, athletic, focused, witty, perceptive, emotionally mature, wise etc. All of this just pours over into the bedroom. It's not that I don't like submissive types or men to be submissive, but I prefer dominance. I'm dominant as well but I don't mind being the follower because I'm just as good at being a leader. I never like being told what to do by anyone, especially not in intimate situations. I've got Mars Rising and issues with control. But, the act itself is so organic and natural to me. It's less about acting and more about just allowing things to flow organically. An unspoken connection. This leads into me not liking chatter in the bedroom. I don't want it to be crickets but I'd prefer not to exchange words, it's distracting and bothersome. And the message will be received based on actions. Dirty talk is an instant turn off during the act. However sexy talk outside of the bedroom is fine, I'd just prefer to focus on the act itself and not get distracted by vulgar words. IP: Logged |
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 2432 From: Registered: Aug 2010
|
posted November 07, 2011 10:44 PM
quote: Originally posted by NativelyJoan: I've got Mars Rising and issues with control.
I'm male. I also have, Mars conjunct the Ascendant http://cafeastrology.com/natal/marsascendantaspects.html The sign position of this aspect plays a big role in how overtly Mars-like this person will be. Whether Mars is positioned in the first house, or behind the Ascendant in the twelfth house, will also play a role. These are noticeable people, particularly for their ability to lead, take action, fight for what they want, and also for their independence. Generally feisty, Mars-Ascendant people are easily riled up and either on the offensive or defensive, with quick reactions to stimuli. They want to be seen as powerful people. Impulsive and assertive, they at least exude confidence even if they don't feel it. Virgo Mars in the 12th. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or AD/HD or ADD) is a developmental disorder. It is primarily characterized by "the co-existence of attentional problems and hyperactivity, with each behavior occurring infrequently alone" and symptoms starting before seven years of age. "I'd rather be doing something with my mind and hands.." My asc is virgo. My mercury(rules virgo) is scorpio, it's ruled by both Mars and Pluto. With Mars-Pluto the heat builds up inside like a pressure cooker. Mars-Pluto people need a way to release pressure on a regular basis or they will explode. KABOOM IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan Knowflake Posts: 1245 From: New England Registered: Sep 2011
|
posted November 07, 2011 11:17 PM
quote: Originally posted by Mblake81: I'm male.I also have, Mars conjunct the Ascendant
Martians unite! As a man in relation to Randall's initial post do you prefer dominating women with Mars Conjunct your Ascendant? And also do you find having Mars in that position to be overwhelming or hard to handle at times? Just curious people tend to think I'm intimidating which I attribute to Mars Rising. And when I was younger I found it very difficult to manage my Martian energies (my Mars is in Aries). I had hidden rage and a bundle of passion. I still have the passion but I've found healthier ways to manage my anger. IP: Logged |
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 2432 From: Registered: Aug 2010
|
posted November 07, 2011 11:41 PM
quote: Originally posted by NativelyJoan: Martians unite!
http://astrofix.net/2010/06/09/killer-instincts-mars-pluto/ Mars-Pluto people are flat-out nicer when they’ve physically exhausted themselves or when they have found a way to satisfy their blood-lust. quote: Originally posted by NativelyJoan: I had hidden rage and a bundle of passion. I still have the passion but I've found healthier ways to manage my anger.
But to answer your question, An assertive woman who has already fought her big battles, she has kicked, and has been kicked in return and thus knows respect. I honestly cannot bear child women with zero respect and little knowledge of how the world works. I start having fantasies of crushing their skulls when I am around it. I do my best to keep away from it. ( My head will begin to ache, It is not exactly a headache either.) The need to reign in and gain mastery over passionate urges while resisting the temptation to crush them altogether. Giving instincts expression, but not allowing those instincts to run wild, is the goal. I like a women who has had her black eyes in life (metaphor), Normally they don't pick at me and I can relax. Just being honest. LOL, some charlie sheen up in here. IP: Logged |
NativelyJoan Knowflake Posts: 1245 From: New England Registered: Sep 2011
|
posted November 08, 2011 12:22 AM
Oh Charlie Sheen. He's so fascinating to study astrologically. As far as powerful Martian placements go, in Scorpio nonetheless, he's become a legend...Thank you for sharing. In a sense I'm similar. The Martian in me no longer cares for unnecessary battles, I'd prefer to peacefully settle any disputes. I'm built for confrontation but at this stage in my life I'd prefer to manage any conflicting situations amicably. With Mars Rising for me it's definitely about having a man who is strong, wise and aware. Having been thrown into the gutters but all the wiser because of it, like myself. I have Mars in Aries/1st Quintile Pluto in Scorpio/8th, I've previously read that article on Astrofix and it's very accurate and entertaining to read. I know all about blood lust and rage, and I'm a demure Libra lady, no one would ever suspect unless they angered me or got very lucky. Mars-Pluto aspects are quite the challenge but they do give many gifts Mars Quintile Pluto You have an exceptional talent for claiming and expressing power and intensity. You have great leadership ability; your natural charisma and fearlessness are magnetic, and people follow you without question. Your drive and perseverance are legendary. You may be quite driven when inspired to action, and are virtually unstoppable when once committed to a goal. You love uncovering all that is hidden. (http://members.wizzards.net/~magyan/Mars_Aspects.html)
IP: Logged |
mir Knowflake Posts: 896 From: Registered: May 2009
|
posted November 09, 2011 11:10 AM
As it takes more time for a woman (euh *me* ) to become sexually just as heated I wouldn't dare to even think about being with a dominant man between the sheets. The biggest biggest biggest turn off is if I'm being told what to do. That's mainly my task and if you can't handle it I can't be yours. So yea.. without doubt I prefer (and always did) the more submissive man which is also what I attract. Dirty talk? Well no .. there are way more intense and subtle roads that lead to hot Rome. Confidence 100. My sun and mars/NN in leo/aqua and moon and venus scorp/cancer. Aqua-Mars/NN square Scorp-Moon could explain something in different ways. IP: Logged |
hippichick Moderator Posts: 2104 From: Registered: May 2009
|
posted November 09, 2011 12:53 PM
Confidence? 100%!!!!!In the bedroom? Dominant, but in a sweet, respectful way. I was watching Oprah once, and she was talking with women, working women on sex. One lovely lady said, she loves to be dominated, sexually, by her husband. She stated she was a caretaker in her daily life, took care of the kids, took care of the husband, took care of her house, she obviously was the matriarch of her family and a worked full time (if I remember correctly an attorney.) She said she loved to be dominated by her husband in the bedroom, cause it enabled her to let go, let her be a woman and that is all, a woman... I feel the same way, and as a RN, and a 19 yr old still at home who was born with a severe heart defect,I am a constant caregiver.. in the bedroom, I like to just be... Great thread Randall!!! O and dirty talk? As a precurser, like sexting, etc...but in the bedroom...I like quiet and focused. I think dirty talk in the bedroom is like a cheap porn movie IP: Logged |
libraschoice77 Knowflake Posts: 559 From: NYC Registered: Aug 2010
|
posted November 12, 2011 04:41 PM
I personally prefer a submissive man. It's a turn on for me to take charge, especially sexually IP: Logged | |