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Author
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Topic: Love Fades?
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mochai
Knowflake Posts: 748
From: Charon
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 31, 2011 06:22 PM
  
Lechien, I know what you are talking about. It's the chemical for infatuation and it's amphetamine like in the quality of it's addictiveness. It's called phenylethylamine (pea for short). It is supposed to fade within the first two years. However there are rare circumstances documented where it never fades. Eventually it's replaced in importance by vasopressin (male) and oxytocin (more for women) and the quality of the love changes.Dopamine also contributes to the beginning stages of infatuation, but the shelf life if you will, is different. Our neurochemical understanding of love is in it's infancy. I would like to see them study gurus and sages that have a pink auras and see the differences neurochemically in love there. We still have many limitations in studying neurobiology. As far as googling on neurobiology is concerned, I've learned the hard way there are many eager people writing articles wanting to look smart who have a limited understanding. I've even seen this happen in books written by reporters on plasticity in the brain and neurochemical changes with buddhist monks and seasoned meditators. They got a little ahead of themselves a few times, which is very easy to do in that field as it is changing exceedingly fast.. IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 874
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 31, 2011 07:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by mochai:
It is supposed to fade within the first two years. However there are rare circumstances documented where it never fades.
wow i so wish i had the privilege to be that one!  but then, my partner also has to have that privilege otherwise it would be quite difficult...  IP: Logged |
mochai
Knowflake Posts: 748
From: Charon
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 31, 2011 09:38 PM
I think the couple had a hard time functioning in real life because they were too obsessed with eachother. o.O Still.. would be fun IP: Logged |
wavelink
Newflake Posts: 19
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 01, 2011 09:57 AM
If the guy can't connect south with north lunar nodes of the gal it's bound to fade. Gals can't do this themselves nor they want to.It's kind of test of nature and when not passed bodies could be easily exhausted (the chemicals/energy mochai speaks about) so the love promptly says goodbye. But if while suffocating the gal with touches and kisses lol in some dark corner (north node) he can make her deeper nature (south) merge with he experiences and she discover herself with every new pleasure meridians open and energy is conserved and expanded. Love never ends.
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 9067
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 01, 2011 10:06 AM
quote:
Originally posted by wavelink:
If the guy can't connect south with north lunar nodes of the gal it's bound to fade. Gals can't do this themselves nor they want to.It's kind of test of nature and when not passed bodies could be easily exhausted (the chemicals/energy mochai speaks about) so the love promptly says goodbye. But if while suffocating the gal with touches and kisses lol in some dark corner (north node) he can make her deeper nature (south) merge with he experiences and she discover herself with every new pleasure meridians open and energy is conserved and expanded. Love never ends.
Could you explain this more, in astrological terms.
Thanks so much! ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 9067
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 01, 2011 10:07 AM
Dear Lechien
What is going on with you and your guy/marriage/not  ------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 874
From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat!
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 01, 2011 11:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Dear Lechien
What is going on with you and your guy/marriage/not
Ami, sweet of you to ask me.  i don't know yet. we have loads of problems beside this, and it's quite overwhelming. i just decided to focus on balancing my inner self that needs lots of working for the moment so not to lose myself in the scary reality. i understand now he's not doing this on a selfish term. he really loves me dearly. things are not always black & white... IP: Logged |
wavelink
Newflake Posts: 19
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 01, 2011 12:34 PM
Sure Ami  This is the guys part of the game. It explains why girls always seek confident or even older men hoping they can make this magic works. Confused, dumb or defeated guy can never do. If the sun is the higher self moon is mostly what we think of ourselves evolving. But moon is "here and now" which is very elusive while nodes mark her orbit, home or extended self. Like ppl. identify with tastes, experiences, etc. South is the conscious part or learned lessons while the north is the action. Between them are the veils of self-denials, stupidities sucking the daylight of us. In east is called sushumna nadi. We are love but need to consciously realize and enjoy this while the action happens (north +south). If while lovemaking or in relationships generally man points the attentions and arouse only the body (north node) without equally awakening her soul, channels of sweet self-knowing remain busted. No any space for the expanding energy and it's wasted out.
Man actually should "know" her, his intelligence should be able to pierce the veils and make the flower of soul blossom. Sounds kind of fishy but actually works Every touch, move, gesture should be full of intimate meaning and new discovery&self-realization.
Why guys are responsible - man are the aspect of intelligence while women the body like the yang and yin play. Things could seem a lil bit unfair but when things work out nicely everyone agrees that this is the best
IP: Logged |
abcd efg
Knowflake Posts: 266
From: India
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 01, 2011 01:58 PM
Love is the expression of the Soul. How can it fade? What we talk of 'love' between any two persons could be attachment,desire,attraction, need,affection etc which after sometime fades. Or a karmic give and take which when balanced, people go their respective ways. But LOVE Is.Light = Love = GOD IP: Logged |
rajji
Knowflake Posts: 641
From:
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted April 01, 2011 09:48 PM
Are we Talking about carnal love or platonic love?IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4249
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 01, 2011 10:02 PM
quote:
Originally posted by rajji:
Are we Talking about carnal love or platonic love?
Either, or. IP: Logged |
BearsArcher
Moderator Posts: 596
From: Arizona with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2010
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posted April 09, 2011 04:48 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
True Love never fades.
I agree.. The lust fades, the excitement phase dwindles, but the love, if it is real, stays and grows. I look at my husband and every day I love him more. Things change as people grow but the love, the real true hardcore love.. well, it is like a plant. If you care for it and you take care of it, it will keep growing. If you neglect it, if you treat it horribly (say never weeding the plant or putting in food in the soil) it will wither and then die. The same holds true (at least to me) for love. We may not always have that super passionate "let's make out right here and now in front of people" but instead we have the "I love the slow kisses, holding my hand as we fall asleep, our snuggle time". That doesn't mean the fireworks don't go off.. they DO.. but there is so much that leads up to the fireworks. I love how we can sleep in on a Saturday, watch the news, have our coffee, hold hands, smile and kiss each other. Love grows, lust fades. I also want to add. Bear and I work on the same post and we still talk on the phone and e-mail a few times a day. We spend time together cooking and laughing. He still brings me flowers for no reason and I still surprise him with the things he likes. We have friends that have been married for more than 40 years and they all say the same thing "I love him / her more today than I did when we got married". I see the way they still look at each other and know that love never fades unless there are other reasons. IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Moderator Posts: 4249
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted April 09, 2011 12:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by BearsArcher:
I agree..The lust fades, the excitement phase dwindles, but the love, if it is real, stays and grows. I look at my husband and every day I love him more. Things change as people grow but the love, the real true hardcore love.. well, it is like a plant. If you care for it and you take care of it, it will keep growing. If you neglect it, if you treat it horribly (say never weeding the plant or putting in food in the soil) it will wither and then die. The same holds true (at least to me) for love. We may not always have that super passionate "let's make out right here and now in front of people" but instead we have the "I love the slow kisses, holding my hand as we fall asleep, our snuggle time". That doesn't mean the fireworks don't go off.. they DO.. but there is so much that leads up to the fireworks. I love how we can sleep in on a Saturday, watch the news, have our coffee, hold hands, smile and kiss each other. Love grows, lust fades. I also want to add. Bear and I work on the same post and we still talk on the phone and e-mail a few times a day. We spend time together cooking and laughing. He still brings me flowers for no reason and I still surprise him with the things he likes. We have friends that have been married for more than 40 years and they all say the same thing "I love him / her more today than I did when we got married". I see the way they still look at each other and know that love never fades unless there are other reasons.
Thanks for contributing, Bear. It's nice to see you around. And, I definitely LOVE the idea of love lasting forever... but, it just seems like the modern standard relationship falls very short of that. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 7975
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 09, 2011 02:57 PM
You give me hope, BA.------------------
"All deaths are suicides, do you realize that? Every single one. The only distinction is that, with some people, suicide is a subconscious choice, and with others it's a conscious choice. Otherwise, those who commit suicide and those who succumb to accident, illness or "old age," die for exactly the same reason: belief in the inevitability of death." Linda Goodman IP: Logged |
abcd efg
Knowflake Posts: 266
From: India
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 12, 2011 07:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
You give me hope, BA.
Yes. All around me i have watched couples going on for 40+ years in marriage. Most of them lovingly, ofcourse with their healthy fights and differences. But still i can see that they care for eachother. So they consciously work for it. Also, old couples holding their hands for support and walking down the footpath with love. The trust, and childlike loving togetherness can be seen in their body language and felt in the surrounding environment. I have observed that Love between couples is like vintage wine. It brews as they get 'old'. IP: Logged |
abcd efg
Knowflake Posts: 266
From: India
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 12, 2011 07:50 AM
dpIP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 9067
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 12, 2011 09:34 AM
quote:
Originally posted by abcd efg:
Yes. All around me i have watched couples going on for 40+ years in marriage. Most of them lovingly, ofcourse with their healthy fights and differences. But still i can see that they care for eachother. So they consciously work for it. Also, old couples holding their hands for support and walking down the footpath with love. The trust, and childlike loving togetherness can be seen in their body language and felt in the surrounding environment. I have observed that Love between couples is like vintage wine. It brews as they get 'old'.
You are so dear abcd efg 
Where are your Moon,Venus and Mercury?
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Life is lived in the sand box.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs IP: Logged |
abcd efg
Knowflake Posts: 266
From: India
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 13, 2011 02:05 PM
Thx. I am glad you liked it. I hope Randall notes it too for further contemplation.  By the way my moon is in virgo conjunct Jupiter and Uranus in 10th house. Saturn is opposite these two so it keeps them in check. Venus is in Capricorn in 2nd house and Mercury in Sagi in 1st. Its i.e. Mer 2 degrees in Sagi while Sun is 28 degrees in Scor. Can they be considered as conjunct since they are so close but different houses. I dont know much about astrology. Just learning little bit as i read this site and the links. IP: Logged |
CrazyAquarian
Knowflake Posts: 698
From: US
Registered: Jan 2010
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posted April 13, 2011 10:29 PM
I agree with Randall!  
I think many people don't believe that because a relationship for them they feel the love died and don't want to say it wasn't real. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 7975
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 14, 2011 12:07 PM
What CA said.------------------
"All deaths are suicides, do you realize that? Every single one. The only distinction is that, with some people, suicide is a subconscious choice, and with others it's a conscious choice. Otherwise, those who commit suicide and those who succumb to accident, illness or "old age," die for exactly the same reason: belief in the inevitability of death." Linda Goodman IP: Logged |
Alma Sun
Moderator Posts: 119
From: East Coast
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 14, 2011 05:34 PM
Interesting vid about love. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqAEfBMlJoc ------------------
"Lock up your libraries if you like, but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind." — Virginia Woolf IP: Logged |
Alma Sun
Moderator Posts: 119
From: East Coast
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted April 14, 2011 05:57 PM
quote:
Love can last, but not necessarily the relationship.
It may end or change dramatically, like mates becoming just good friends;
if the love is real,
the love remains.
The love can even deepen but simply under new parameters;
as in no longer lovers/mates but still deeply caring good friends.
I think that's part of the message in the documentary.. also, that people give up too easily. ------------------
"Lock up your libraries if you like, but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind." — Virginia Woolf IP: Logged |
CrazyAquarian
Knowflake Posts: 698
From: US
Registered: Jan 2010
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posted April 15, 2011 03:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Alma Sun:
Interesting vid about love. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqAEfBMlJoc
wowzers over an hour, gonna need to be in a certain mood to watch that  IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 7975
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 16, 2011 11:56 AM
 ------------------
"All deaths are suicides, do you realize that? Every single one. The only distinction is that, with some people, suicide is a subconscious choice, and with others it's a conscious choice. Otherwise, those who commit suicide and those who succumb to accident, illness or "old age," die for exactly the same reason: belief in the inevitability of death." Linda Goodman IP: Logged |
LEXX
Moderator Posts: 5988
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 18, 2011 06:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Alma Sun:
quote:Love can last, but not necessarily the relationship.
It may end or change dramatically, like mates becoming just good friends;
if the love is real,
the love remains.
The love can even deepen but simply under new parameters;
as in no longer lovers/mates but still deeply caring good friends.I think that's part of the message in the documentary.. also, that people give up too easily.
Lovely!
And I agree!
Ex#3 and I are talking about alternatives to our lives and as best friends we are thinking of unconventional solutions.
No,
real love does not die or wither.
Oh yes the ways in which it is can most surely change!
But if the love is real and soul deep;
that never withers and dies.
One of the first errors folks make is in thinking the love is gone if sex is gone.
That is not true.
The dynamics change, the living arrangements change, and the only thing I have noticed is
the sexual factor clouding the issues, in couple relationships and poly relationships.
One thing I have observed in monogamous polyamoury relationships situations is that if all love and trust each other, no one is left out.
There is always someone to talk and share with and hug.
I think in those situations the biggest hurdle is in the sexual arena.
Folks seem to do just fine with shared duties, playing, conversations, watching movies and so forth;
but bring in the sexual and it can get complicated unless all can let go of jealousies and understand that that sexual expression does not diminish the love each has for each one as individuals. Also in some I have known of;
One or more be not as libido driven as the other(s). These poly relationships are actually perfect for such folks because they do not have an urge to cheat because they do not need to.
So no,
real love never fades or withers, but may require a different outlook and way of living to express the love.
I hope that made sense.
PS.
The poly relationship I knew of involved 5 people, 3 men and two women.
The age gap spread was about 45 years betwixt youngest and oldest,
the age difference between the two women was I think, about 34 years, the younger being added last, and the original 3 way had lasted like 20 years before the 4th. person was added.------------------
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Nikola Tesla
~There is no box.~H♥
~Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself.~Felipe
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~It is far better to regret wrong paths taken than to regret the paths not tried~Giselle
}><}}}(*>~ IP: Logged |
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