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Author Topic:   Guys Vs Real Men!
rajji
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posted October 06, 2011 10:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Could'nt stop myself from posting here.
Okay I came across two people in my life.
One is my father and the other A a close friend who have similar ideas but the only diffrence is that one is married and the other is not.
The friend I spoke to happened to reveal his future plans to me.
I was hurt and gob-smacked when I heard him say-
That he does not want to get married because it is a headache.He does not want to shoulder any responsibilities.He says he has seen it all!
He even says women are bitches.He has seen and slept with all varieties of them!and not a single one matches up to his standards of being a wife!otherwise he would have been married by now.

Well it did remind of my father.I have seen people for whom marriage and hooking up is just fun or is financial and a business transaction!
I mean they are not worthy of being called as husbands, fathers,sons or brothers or rather as responsible men.

Have you come across such men?What do you think of them??

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rajji
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posted October 06, 2011 10:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here are some quotes by irresponsible men!
"I've never believed in marriage. It was only because I loved the women that I went through it to please them. Marriage, like religion for me, is an imposition."

"All I can say is that marriage is a folly that is slowly becoming redundant."

"I have four vaccination marks. In our time, they were a necessary ordeal. It's different today. I'm hopeful that one day like the vaccinations, the institution of marriage too will go away."


I would say-There is no particular reason to say that one needs to stay single. It depends on experiences one has had in life.
But I do not want to ridicule marriage. It may work well for some, not so well for others. And many who are unhappy with marriage may be inspired to get back hearing stories of people living happily
Marriage was and is a sacred institution.It will always serve to be an inspiration no matter what!

in order to justify his failed marriages or relationships, man is blaming and discounting the institution of
marriage itself, comparing marriage with vaccinations. Men will be men.
Freedom to them means living with other women while they are married to one,
making other women pregnant and then they don't want the hassles of divorcing one to get another.
What they don't see is how many dreams they have shattered, how many lives they have destroyed.
Today, women have survived all, and are still standing on their feet.
Because they are strong, financially and politically. It doesn't work this way for all women.
Wishing the institution of marriage to go away so that they can live with as many women as they wish,
without any responsibility and blames, is both childish and corrupt.


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rajji
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posted October 06, 2011 10:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here is an excerpt I would like to share.

Not so long ago, the average American man in his 20s had achieved most of the milestones of adulthood: a high-school diploma, financial independence, marriage and children. Today, most men in their 20s hang out in a novel sort of limbo, a hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance. This "pre-adulthood" has much to recommend it, especially for the college-educated. But it's time to state what has become obvious to legions of frustrated young women: It doesn't bring out the best in men.

"We are sick of hooking up with guys," writes the comedian Julie Klausner, author of a touchingly funny 2010 book, "I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters and Other Guys I've Dated." What Ms. Klausner means by "guys" is males who are not boys or men but something in between. "Guys talk about 'Star Wars' like it's not a movie made for people half their age; a guy's idea of a perfect night is a hang around the PlayStation with his bandmates, or a trip to Vegas with his college friends.... They are more like the kids we babysat than the dads who drove us home." One female reviewer of Ms. Kausner's book wrote, "I had to stop several times while reading and think: Wait, did I date this same guy?"

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rajji
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posted October 06, 2011 10:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
After all, popular culture has been crowded with pre-adults for almost two decades. Hollywood started the affair in the early 1990s with movies like "Singles," "Reality Bites," "Single White Female" and "Swingers." Television soon deepened the relationship, giving us the agreeable company of Monica, Joey, Rachel and Ross; Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer; Carrie, Miranda, et al.

Image Removed.

Close.But for all its familiarity, pre-adulthood represents a momentous sociological development. It's no exaggeration to say that having large numbers of single young men and women living independently, while also having enough disposable income to avoid ever messing up their kitchens, is something entirely new in human experience. Yes, at other points in Western history young people have waited well into their 20s to marry, and yes, office girls and bachelor lawyers have been working and finding amusement in cities for more than a century. But their numbers and their money supply were always relatively small. Today's pre-adults are a different matter. They are a major demographic event.

What also makes pre-adulthood something new is its radical reversal of the sexual hierarchy. Among pre-adults, women are the first sex. They graduate from college in greater numbers (among Americans ages 25 to 34, 34% of women now have a bachelor's degree but just 27% of men), and they have higher GPAs. As most professors tell it, they also have more confidence and drive. These strengths carry women through their 20s, when they are more likely than men to be in grad school and making strides in the workplace. In a number of cities, they are even out-earning their brothers and boyfriends.

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Betty Boop
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posted October 07, 2011 12:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't know... but I'm a woman.. and I kind of feel the same way:

quote:
"does not want to get married because it is a headache." - "has seen it all!"

Although - if we were in love and he absolutely insisted that we get married, I wouldn't go against the grain.


I think it's more likely for people who come from broken marriages... to be skeptical of marriage. It's not all that gender based. My mother has been married three times. My father twice. They are both happy in their current relationships.
My grandparents were in love, but *un-happily* married.

I don't see anything positive in marriage.. because it is a piece of paper ultimately.

And in terms of the convention in "living together".... that won't happen in my life, not per se.

I would prefer to live separately - or in a house that is LARGE enough for us to be mostly separate - including having separate bills to pay.

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rajji
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posted October 07, 2011 12:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
More from the same article...

Still, for these women, one key question won't go away: Where have the good men gone? Their male peers often come across as aging frat boys, maladroit geeks or grubby slackers—a gender gap neatly crystallized by the director Judd Apatow in his hit 2007 movie "Knocked Up." The story's hero is 23-year-old Ben Stone (Seth Rogen), who has a drunken fling with Allison Scott (Katherine Heigl) and gets her pregnant. Ben lives in a Los Angeles crash pad with a group of grubby friends who spend their days playing videogames, smoking pot and unsuccessfully planning to launch a porn website. Allison, by contrast, is on her way up as a television reporter and lives in a neatly kept apartment with what appear to be clean sheets and towels. Once she decides to have the baby, she figures out what needs to be done and does it. Ben can only stumble his way toward being a responsible grownup.

Unlike adolescents, however, pre-adults don't know what is supposed to come next. For them, marriage and parenthood come in many forms, or can be skipped altogether. In 1970, just 16% of Americans ages 25 to 29 had never been married; today that's true of an astonishing 55% of the age group. In the U.S., the mean age at first marriage has been climbing toward 30 (a point past which it has already gone in much of Europe). It is no wonder that so many young Americans suffer through a "quarter-life crisis," a period of depression and worry over their future.

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rajji
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posted October 07, 2011 01:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Given the rigors of contemporary career-building, pre-adults who do marry and start families do so later than ever before in human history. Husbands, wives and children are a drag on the footloose life required for the early career track and identity search. Pre-adulthood has also confounded the primordial search for a mate. It has delayed a stable sense of identity, dramatically expanded the pool of possible spouses, mystified courtship routines and helped to throw into doubt the very meaning of marriage. In 1970, to cite just one of many numbers proving the point, nearly seven in 10 25-year-olds were married; by 2000, only one-third had reached that milestone.

American men have been struggling with finding an acceptable adult identity since at least the mid-19th century. We often hear about the miseries of women confined to the domestic sphere once men began to work in offices and factories away from home. But it seems that men didn't much like the arrangement either. They balked at the stuffy propriety of the bourgeois parlor, as they did later at the banal activities of the suburban living room. They turned to hobbies and adventures, like hunting and fishing. At midcentury, fathers who at first had refused to put down the money to buy those newfangled televisions changed their minds when the networks began broadcasting boxing matches and baseball games. The arrival of Playboy in the 1950s seemed like the ultimate protest against male domestication; think of the refusal implied by the magazine's title alone.

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rajji
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posted October 07, 2011 01:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In his disregard for domestic life, the playboy was prologue for today's pre-adult male. Unlike the playboy with his jazz and art-filled pad, however, our boy rebel is a creature of the animal house. In the 1990s, Maxim, the rude, lewd and hugely popular "lad" magazine arrived from England. Its philosophy and tone were so juvenile, so entirely undomesticated, that it made Playboy look like Camus.

What explains this puerile shallowness? I see it as an expression of our cultural uncertainty about the social role of men. It's been an almost universal rule of civilization that girls became women simply by reaching physical maturity, but boys had to pass a test. They needed to demonstrate courage, physical prowess or mastery of the necessary skills. The goal was to prove their competence as protectors and providers. Today, however, with women moving ahead in our advanced economy, husbands and fathers are now optional, and the qualities of character men once needed to play their roles—fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity—are obsolete, even a little embarrassing.

Today's pre-adult male is like an actor in a drama in which he only knows what he shouldn't say. He has to compete in a fierce job market, but he can't act too bossy or self-confident. He should be sensitive but not paternalistic, smart but not cocky. To deepen his predicament, because he is single, his advisers and confidants are generally undomesticated guys just like him.

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rajji
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posted October 07, 2011 01:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Single men have never been civilization's most responsible actors; they continue to be more troubled and less successful than men who deliberately choose to become husbands and fathers. So we can be disgusted if some of them continue to live in rooms decorated with "Star Wars" posters and crushed beer cans and to treat women like disposable estrogen toys, but we shouldn't be surprised.

Relatively affluent, free of family responsibilities, and entertained by an array of media devoted to his every pleasure, the single young man can live in pig heaven—and often does. Women put up with him for a while, but then in fear and disgust either give up on any idea of a husband and kids or just go to a sperm bank and get the DNA without the troublesome man. But these rational choices on the part of women only serve to legitimize men's attachment to the sand box. Why should they grow up? No one needs them anyway. There's nothing they have to do.

They might as well just have another beer.

—Adapted from "Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys" by Kay S. Hymowitz.

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PixieJane
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posted October 07, 2011 05:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My granny was a beatnik, nature's child, and finally hippie and while she has good memories of the time she also recalls a commune that was really bad. She'd had children by then and as a single mother found it hard to care for them so she accepted an invite to a commune where children were cared for communally. Unfortunately, she and other women had to care for the male hippies almost as if they were children (cooking, cleaning, farming, jobs) while the men were tuning in and writing their manifestoes, and expected the women to have sex with them when they wanted it (to refuse was to be uptight and an ice queen, and for a woman to want sex, or affection, when a man didn't want to give it made her needy and clingy). Despite that women bore the responsibility only men got to make the decisions (they'd meet together and exclude the women). And she'd said that while she had help of other women there in taking care of her children they all had to take care of men as if THEY were children, and children who had authority over them at that. It's even worse than I'm saying (it really helped me understand why 70s feminism was so hostile to hippies) and it burned Granny out on the hippie lifestyle.

As for me, I've encountered enough guys who were seriously flawed but expected perfection from women (or at least look hot) before they'd consider being with her (there was even a shooting at a gym because a total loser couldn't get "hot chicks"--the only kind he'd accept and felt entitled to--so he went to find some women in good shape and gun them down for not having sex with him, and said on his blog that he expected to be with Jesus after he did that and killed himself). I told one really flawed guy the problem with his looking for the perfect woman is that she was looking for the perfect man, and he ain't it, but I don't think he understood. Another thing about the guy I told that to is that he said once a woman was moving next door to him and found herself struggling to get a couch from her U-Haul in so she asked him for help. He said he refused because he knew she wouldn't have sex with him after he helped her so she'd just be "using" him and he wasn't a "chump" (IIRC the word he used). He really can't understand why his idea that a woman would "owe" him sex for a little help is offensive to me (a woman) or why, with that attitude, he's so alone and bitter (hating women).

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hippichick
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posted October 07, 2011 12:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I love this thread! Thank you rajji!!!

So much info that my head is spinning now...

I will be 50 next March and through the generations this is what I have observed.

(and I think this whole issue with men is a generational/evolutionary thing, and nurture as well)

My grandpa, will be 90 next year. Served in WW2, found my VERY HOT grandma while walking down the street one day when he came home after the war...they married, no kids, but my mother was his step daughter and he quite raised her right. My grandpa took care of my granny till her dying day...last December 8th.. of Alzheimers...at 94. This was/is an honerable man...

My father in law (the dad of my late husband who opted out himself...) got his girlfriend pregnant while they were both still in school, (my mother in law) got married, he had his fun, partied, ended up in Mexico in jail, once for stealing a car..but always took care of the kids and mama..They now live a life of way above midclass. He owns his business, is quite well to doand they are happy, despite the baggage of their son killing himself. Another man of honor, ableit now after alot of growing up...

My brother, 3 years my junior. A millionaire, self made with his computer skills...On his second marriage, they have been married for around 10 years....stood beside his wife when her mother died, when her family (also well do to) decided to purchase her parents a home, cars, etc...MY BROTHER purchased a home for my mother, offered to fix up my old house when late hubby opted out...has two very bright boys, both enrolled in a Military school...Yet another honerable man...

The man I was married to....not so honerable, an unfortunate alcoholic that cared more for the booze than the family...a DIS honerable man...(raised by a father who,, while taking care of his family was not ever there for him and a young mother...)

The males my daughters have dated..

My eldest, only one, shortly after Josh, she came out and is now in a long term relationship with her gfriend, who I love alot...however Josh was an honerable young man....took care of my daughter, he is 23ish now...took care of his parents, etc.

My youngest does not like being in a realationship, (Aqua sun/moon) but in her first and probably last at 16 got pregnant, and her bfriend was there to support her all the way...

The men I have dated...well we already know I attract the crazies!!! The husband who opted out, the creepo who has stalked me for 9 years, the guitar player who was on disablility and came to find out he could not handle me and in his weak-ass way eventually broke up with me...All very DIS-honerable men...

Then I found my current love...raised wonderfully by a single mom..I can not even start to describe this man's honor....now, he does not want to get married due to poor married role modles in his past, but I am ok with that, neither do I (cept for when my silly Pisces soul gets all romantic! LOL!)

My point?

Back in the day men were raised with honor...Almost always in a two parent home, with a positive male role modle, most probably the father....values were instilled, morals were established and men were honerable...

Through out evolution, the rate of divorce increased, men were raised with less and less positive male role modles, spend more time with their brethern, that became their male role models...spiral downward.

Then this silly are in the 80's about child empowerment....tell them they can do anything...tough love went out the window...males were growing up in a culture of letting kids get away with everything and NO accountability, largely due to the increased need for both members of the parenthood having to work and/or the single mom or dad at work all day and having huge guilt issues of not being there for the kids...

Then we enter the 90's and 20's....kids just dont give a **** anymore...the family value system has all but collapsed, there is no honor, pop culture has it ok to cheat, lie steal...etc.If these young men are raised with mothers and fathers with an old value system...they turn out ok..but these youngsters are being raised by the ones who grew up in the trasitional era...

Hippies...new age gurus, etc.

There is still hope..in my profession and in life in general I encounter many individuals...I am So impressed when I meet a young man of honor...I often tell them they are men of honor....

There is NO excuse for these men in question to be like they are...grow up guys time to put on the big boy pants!!!

O and to add to my (sorry so long manuscript) back in the day...WAY back in the day the woman was heralded..then the onset of Christianity...expectations were put on men, too many expectations....men stepped out of themselves and into a faux role of "man"...I think they are still bewildered as to what to do in life...

Sorry for rambling...hope some of this makes sense!!!

t~~~

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sand
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posted October 07, 2011 05:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sand     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Fight Club: A generation of men raised by women

Fight Club may seem an odd choice to review on a site about gender: it’s got one female character, and it’s all about a man’s search for identity in the form of manhood in a world of men. But one line of dialog says it all:

A generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is the answer we really need.

This is the finish to a conversation about the rather underwhelming guidance the two main male characters had gotten from their fathers: go to college, get a job, “I don’t know – get married”. In other words, follow the formula.

But the point of the whole movie is that the system is breaking down. What once supposedly guaranteed a life of rewarding employment, a gold watch at retirement, and hopefully a reasonably nice family life just doesn’t cut it. Employers would rather deal with cheap hires who don’t know what they’re doing than pay for talent. They punish loyalty because they’re too busy looking at the steady raises and earned retirement benefits they’ll have to pay. And even if a man makes enough to keep a wife and kids in nice style, his family will want more. In fact, they want the same elusive thing he wants: identity.

Fight Club is the story of a nameless man (nicknamed “Jack” by fans for convenience) whose system is literally breaking down. He’s got a job, he’s got a condo and the complete Ikea package to furnish it, he’s finally got his whole life together, according to the system laid out by prior generations. And yet he can’t sleep, and it’s starting to interfere with his life. When he goes to the doctor, the doctor doesn’t want to give him drugs – no, no, he recommends chewing Valerian root: a cunning woman’s cure, a witch’s cure. The doctor’s solution is a “feminine” one which doesn’t even begin to address Jack’s real, underlying problem: that he has a second personality which is getting well out of hand.

(I’d like to note here that I don’t believe in hard and fast definitions of “feminine” and “masculine” as a rule, but our society does, and it is these values that the movie is playing with to make a point.)

Misplaced “feminine” energy is as much a part of the problem as displaced “feminine” energy. And the men in Fight Club have all experienced an odd feminization process, due to a society which has tried to diminish feminine energy, only to have it bubble up and fill the vacuum, ready to explode: the equal but opposite reaction to be expected in any system of balance. Jack’s boss is heavily into the color “cornflower blue”: a soft, desaturated shade of blue (the color for infant boys), the name of which combines the ideas of “corny” and “flowery”. Jack’s own fascination with setting up house properly represents sensibilities to his surroundings that are traditionally considered something only women concern themselves with. Notably, his alter ego’s first serious intrusion into his nicely mapped out little life is to blow up Jack’s condo – a hugely “masculine” gesture.

And it’s Jack’s fascination with a self-help group for men who have literally lost their balls to cancer that gives Tyler (the alter ego) a starting point for creating Jack’s identity. Tyler and Jack start their own self-help group: Fight Club. Where men go to beat the living crap out of each other and find out what they’re made of. Neither had ever actually been in a fight before.

As the Fight Club gains members and progresses, Jack and Tyler find themselves looking at Calvin Klein ads and asking snidely, “Is that what a man looks like?” They no longer need to be told: they have become men of their own making – not of their fathers’ making, or society’s making. Fight Club answers the question “If men run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties?” It’s because those neckties running the world aren’t really men: they’re just power mongers. And there is nothing positive, impressive or masculine about someone who only feels empowered by standing on the shoulders of others.

I relate to this completely, despite the Orwellian lack of corresponding feminine terminology: being a real man means being self-reliant. Doing what you believe you should, not what you’re told. Cooperating because you see the benefit, not because you’ve been trained like a monkey. And fighting when necessary, not to prove a point.

There is no way in the English language to express these things for women. Grow up and be a woman! That’s what separates the women from the girls. She’s really got balls! Girls are presented with no goals for adulthood. No matter what a great woman they become, it’s hardly worth the trouble because only the achievement of manhood is respected in our language – and therefore, in our thinking.

So I vote we steal the terminology, or at least the concepts from the men. Fight Club’s message about becoming a real adult instead of the adult you were programmed to become speaks just as well to women as to men. Fight Club portrays a society that is completely breaking down, and taking individuals of both genders with it. It’s going to take both genders to turn it around.

Tyler Durden issues a rallying battle cry to the men of Generation X, the smallest generation of the 20th century, the tiniest target audience in a society driven by demographics. But consider how much it sounds exactly like the complaints women have been making for decades:

I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived. I see all this potential; and I see it squandered. God dammit, an entire generation pumping gas and waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy **** we don’t need. We are the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no great war, no great depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised by television to believe that we’d be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars – but we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very ****** -off.

Our society hasn’t just broken its promises to women; it’s broken trust with all of us. And the people at the top are neither men nor women; they are genderless piles of insecurity in the form of human flesh. They are as afraid of real men as they are of real women, and tricking us into thinking we’re pitted against each other has been their greatest weapon all along. Our language doesn’t bother giving us a way to talk about the importance of growing up to become a real woman, because it’s not considered a laudable goal. It’s up to all of us – women and men – to change that. It’s in our best interests to put individualism ahead of “manhood” because “manhood” has always been defined by the folks who are in power. You think the folks in power are going to train you on becoming powerful enough to challenge them? Think again, boys.

And I’ll take one part of Tyler’s speech and raise it by a point: advertising does a lot worse than keep us chasing crap we don’t need so that we’re too busy to actually achieve anything that might overturn the powermongers at the top of the food chain. It has been pandering to the weakest instincts in young men and boys for a couple of generations now. 18-25 year old white boys don’t want to see strong women? Solution: don’t put a strong woman in your movie! For heaven’s sake, don’t show them that a woman can be strong and traditionally “feminine”. Or that a woman can be rather manly and still extremely sexy and attractive to manly men. Or that a woman can be a failure, and the failure have nothing to do with her gender.

No, don’t show them these things, because then they might become strong and secure. And they might in turn encourage women to be strong by not running from strong, smart or secure women in terror. And then the power mongers at the top might suddenly find themselves in their proper place on the evolutionary ladder.
http://thehathorlegacy.com/fight-club-a-generation-of-men-raised-by-women/

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LEXX
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posted October 07, 2011 06:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LEXX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
sand
I have not seen that movie yet,
but very good observations on men and women
and what is a good life or not and more!
Great article!

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~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла
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LEXX
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posted October 07, 2011 06:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LEXX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
PS.
sand
I am posting this at facebook!

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~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла
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sand
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posted October 07, 2011 07:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sand     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
the book is loads more fun!

and single white female is a doppleganger thriller btw very far to reality bites and the others listed

quote:
They are more like the kids we babysat than the dads who drove us home

looking like the kid or the dad is neither ideal IMO.

quote:
The story's hero is 23-year-old Ben Stone (Seth Rogen), who has a drunken fling with Allison Scott (Katherine Heigl) and gets her pregnant. Ben lives in a Los Angeles crash pad with a group of grubby friends who spend their days playing videogames, smoking pot and unsuccessfully planning to launch a porn website. Allison, by contrast, is on her way up as a television reporter and lives in a neatly kept apartment with what appear to be clean sheets and towels. Once she decides to have the baby, she figures out what needs to be done and does it. Ben can only stumble his way toward being a responsible grownup.

i've seen this in real life. very close scenario. IMO the girl is similarly just as lost as the guy before she got knocked up despite the facade of competence and professionalism.

quote:
It's been an almost universal rule of civilization that girls became women simply by reaching physical maturity

so i can kinda say that in the 90's at the peak of heroin chic women refused to grow hips and therefore refused to grow up?

quote:
They might as well just have another beer.

oops wait lemme get a star wars beer mug for that.

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teasel
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posted October 07, 2011 09:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I liked Fight Club, when I first saw it, but when I watched it again a couple of years ago, it bugged the hell out of me. The men switched from the supposed sameness and boring everyday lives, but they didn't change the fact that they were minions looking to one man for how they should be living. They were following his instructions as though he were a god. They had nothing about them that set them apart from others. It was disturbing, and I didn't find it at all inspirational.

I also find it disturbing how many men worship this movie, and Tyler Durden, wanting to mimic/mirror this character who I wasn't attracted to at all - I thought he was boring, and needed to take a shower. I much preferred Jack, and how he reacted when he realized what was going on, at the end of the movie.

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rajji
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posted October 08, 2011 01:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:

I told one really flawed guy the problem with his looking for the perfect woman is that she was looking for the perfect man, and he ain't it, but I don't think he understood.


Pixie Jane I appreciate that!...
I myself have told a few guys something along the same lines-
1.Even if you get millions of girls you will never be able to choose 1 among them to finally settle down with.
2.You deserve the best!if you choose me, you will be compromising!And I dont want you to do that.

I know it might not have made any sense to them as usual.

I would also like to mention that these Hippie lifestyles are mostly propogated by psycho men because they understand that women are fragile and can become easy targets to those men!

Hippie lifestyle really sucks...the present term for it is swinger lifestyle.
One famous example of hippie family lifestyle is that of Charles Mansons Family Who murdered Sharon Tate!
If you read about those who murdered her particulary what Susan Atkins had to say after she had realised that she had done a terrible mistake during her years of serving her jail term about charles manson and his cult.One will understand how these cults work their way into
attracting womenfolk and destroy them completely!

I adore their 'Bell Bottoms'! though many of them prefer to go 'Bare Bottomed'!

Shucks!

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rajji
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posted October 08, 2011 01:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Terri Love ya!
I get you.
You are soooo soooo right!
I must say you are blessed to have such a Wonderful and Wholesome bunch of men as your relations.
Your daughter I suppose has taken the right stance by choosing a lesbo.
Well I chose to be a spinster you probably can understand why.
Like Betty says- if i truly love somebody and if that special someone asks my hand in marriage.I would definitely oblige.
But I would never get married to a man who thinks that he has to marry in order to please a woman!
And yes I will never loose hope!even if it takes a whole lifetime for me to have to wait.Yes I have seen Real men out there even in todays ever changing world who will sacrifise their lives for the sake of their family.History repeats itself!Real men will overtake these worthless guys once again and again and yet again!
Men who protect and fight for their family.Men who persever to preserve their moral values down the generations.
Real men who are devoted to their families who bring them up and stand by them through thick and thin!

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rajji
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posted October 08, 2011 01:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
I liked Fight Club, when I first saw it, but when I watched it again a couple of years ago, it bugged the hell out of me. The men switched from the supposed sameness and boring everyday lives, but they didn't change the fact that they were minions looking to one man for how they should be living. They were following his instructions as though he were a god. They had nothing about them that set them apart from others. It was disturbing, and I didn't find it at all inspirational.

I also find it disturbing how many men worship this movie, and Tyler Durden, wanting to mimic/mirror this character who I wasn't attracted to at all - I thought he was boring, and needed to take a shower. I much preferred Jack, and how he reacted when he realized what was going on, at the end of the movie.


Thanks teasel!Im happy you realised it as much as you made us realise about it!

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rajji
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posted October 08, 2011 01:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What im trying to say is that A Man does not necessarily have to become polite,loving,gentle,honest in order to prove himself as a gentleman!
My Version of a complete man is one who follows his passions,Chases his dreams and yet does not loose his moral character!
Lives up to his commitments lifelong, no matter what.Takes over his Responsibilites head on.Helps his kith and kin and still finds more room to grow!
I guess it takes a lot of moral sense and will power and guts to say-"I AM A MAN HEAR ME ROAR!!!"

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rajji
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posted October 08, 2011 01:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Since we have taken the movie approach here.
I would like to quote a few examples of a perfect man!

I have seen so many gangster movies in which the head of the gang is portrayed as a hardcore criminal who kills, steals and does so many offensive things.
But there is certainly a Difference between gangsters and Guys.The former are Real men!
They give their lives for their family!

They are not men with mean characters!They are passionate about their family!Thy are men who are true to their hearts!


So, without further ado, here is a starter list of some of the greatest lessons ever taught in the history of film:


1."The saddest thing in life is wasted talent." (A Bronx Tale)

2. "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." (The Godfather Pt. I & II)

3. "Don't ever rat on your friends...(Goodfellas)

4. ...and always keep your mouth shut." (Goodfellas)

5. Sometimes, you do good things for bad people. (A Bronx Tale)

6. "Give love and get love unconditionally...(A Bronx Tale)

7. ...Accept people for what they are...(A Bronx Tale)

8. ...The choices that you make will affect your life forever." (A Bronx Tale)

9. "A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man." (The Godfather Pt. I)

10. "Don't ever take sides with anyone against the family." (The Godfather Pt. I)

11. "Good health is the most important thing. More than succes, more than money, more tham power." (The Godfather Pt. II)

12. "You can never lose your family. Never." (The Godfather Pt. II)

13. "Never hate your enemies; it affects your judgement." (The Godfather Pt. I)

14. "Women and children can be careless. But not men." (The Godfather Pt. I)

15. The importance of family. What your family tells you is in your best interests. Love is sometimes given in harsh ways, but it's still love. Your family will always be there to support you, so never forget how important they are. (A Bronx Tale, The Godfather Pt. I & II)

16. In non-family relationships, it is better to be feared than loved. (A Bronx Tale)

17. Nobody cares...nobody cares. Worry about yourself, your family, and the people who are important to you. (A Bronx Tale)

18. Never underestimate your enemy. Patience and a gentleman's demeanor are not signs of weakness. (A Bronx Tale)

19. Guns don't make you a tough guy. Getting up every day and working for a living makes you tough. (A Bronx Tale)

20. The "Door Test:" When you take a girl out for the first time, pull up to where she is, lock your door, get out, go around to her side and let her in. Then walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and unlock your door for you, then she's a selfish broad who can't be trusted and you need to dump her right there. (A Bronx Tale)

21. "A man makes his own way. No one gives it to you. You have to take it." (The Departed)

22. "Everyday above ground is a good day." (Scarface)

23. Don't be a product of your environment; Let your environment be a product of you. (The Departed)

24. "When you love someone, you've gotta trust them. There's no other way. You've got to give them the key to everything that's yours. Otherwise, what's the point?" (Casino)

25. "Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in."(Godfather-3)

26."I never wanted this for you. I work my whole life - I don't apologize - to take care of my family, and I refused to be a fool, dancing on the string held by all those bigshots. I don't apologize - that's my life - but I thought that, that when it was your time, that you would be the one to hold the string. Senator Corleone; Governor Corleone. Well, it wasn't enough time, Michael. It wasn't enough time."(Godfather-2)

27."When they come... they come at what you love."(Godfather-3)

28. "I've lost the lust for women, and now my mind is clear."(Godfather-3)

29."You touch my sister again, I'll kill you." (Godfather-1)

30. "There is nothing more important to a man than his Family... these men too, these men of honour, they are also my Family."


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GypseeWind
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From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
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posted October 08, 2011 06:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nice thread Rajii!

Sand, wonderful movie synopsis. I love writing about films.. I wanted Randall to make a forum for movies/media cause I adore reading things like what you just wrote.. and I like writing them as well.

Hippichick, nice! You've had some lovely role models and men in your life, you are blessed, but you probably know that!!

Raj- it bugs me when people say that Charles Manson murdered Sharon Tate. He wasn't even there. He may have told them to do it, but why do people do things others tell them? Why don't they think for themselves?
It's a big question isn't it?
This is why I despise Scientology and similar such cults, *shudder*

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I am all for marriage, a hundred percent.
It's very easy to walk away when you haven't much invested.
When you have to think of lawyers, and details, and children (if you have them) it changes your perspective, and suddenly whatever your deal is *the bug in your bonnet* doesn't seem all that bad, or unworkable.
It serves a purpose, IMHO. Several..

I just wanted to add that even with advertising, and reality shows that glorify single life, or shows like 'Sex and The City', even though we have all these things, I believe, truly believe that we as humans are mostly wired to want to hook up with one person and have a life mate.
Not everyone, but the majority.
If you don't let yourself feel pressured,
then you will do just that.

Today's women are ragged from trying to be everything. They insist it can be done.
Maybe they can do it.
I can't.

I made a choice when I became a wife and Mom.
It doesn't mean I can't be or never will be anything other, but
whatever you decide to do, you should do your best at.
Maybe that's my Cap MC talking, IDK..

I can say that when I make something from scratch with my own two hands,
with love in my heart, and the anticipation of the gladness it will bring others..
There is no kind of reward to compare to that.
No gold watch or designer whatchamajigger compares.
Simple as that.
I made my family red beans and rice with homemade cornbread yesterday.
My son closed his eyes when he put it in his mouth.
That image will stay with me for a long time.

There is no shame in loving what you do.
There are no "justs," as in:
She's just a house wife,
he's just a waiter...

Life is what you make it.

I hope to do my part to raise an honorable man.
People learn by example, so that is something to keep striving for.

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rajji
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posted October 08, 2011 07:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sand:
the book is loads more fun!

and single white female is a doppleganger thriller btw very far to reality bites and the others listed

oops wait lemme get a star wars beer mug for that.


Would you like a Hippie to serve it to you when you get back with your Star Wars beer mug???

quote:
so i can kinda say that in the 90's at the peak of heroin chic women refused to grow hips and therefore refused to grow up?

Dont get Blown off...Thats Just a Painting of a Hippie.

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LEXX
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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted October 08, 2011 12:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LEXX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Please folks stop trashing ALL Hippies.
I was and am still a Hippie in many ways.
Sure there were and are over the top drug/sex crazed ones......but those were not true Hippies but degenerates copying the "LOOK" not the philosophy.
Manson etcetera were not Hippies!
No true LOVE and PEACE true Hippie would resort to violence, murder, and wars.
Anti war, anti violence, love for all humankind, the planet......were true Hippie ways of thinking.
Sure some were wild sexually but that goes for any people, its nothing new.
It was a time of birth control pills, and women found a new freedom for a few years. People actually seem more promiscuous nowadays even with the dangers of deadly STDs.

So please;
Stop lumping all Hippies in with the fake ones who are like some of the violent rappers now who are also criminals.
Does listening to Rapp/Hip Hop music make one automatically a teen raping, cop killing, murderous, robber.....etc?
Of course not.
Does having many body piercings make one a freak or a social deviant?
Of course not.
Are all fat folks lazy worthless slobs?
Of course not.
I could go on and on.
So please,
no stereotyping.

.........

quote:
Originally posted by rajji:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I would also like to mention that these Hippie lifestyles are mostly propogated by psycho men because they understand that women are fragile and can become easy targets to those men!

Hippie lifestyle really sucks...the present term for it is swinger lifestyle.
One famous example of hippie family lifestyle is that of Charles Mansons Family Who murdered Sharon Tate!
If you read about those who murdered her particulary what Susan Atkins had to say after she had realised that she had done a terrible mistake during her years of serving her jail term about charles manson and his cult.One will understand how these cults work their way into
attracting womenfolk and destroy them completely!
<<<<<<<<<<<



That has nothing to do with real LOVE and PEACE Hippies.
Those people were psychos and would have been no matter how they lived or dressed.
They seemed closer in my opinion to the Jim Jones Christian cult with the Kool Aid murders......not peace and love no violence true Hippies.
And no the Hippie lifestyle is not swinger.
Swingers can be any group including Christians for example. Or upper middle class
folks who can afford that kind of party life financially. Being a swinger costs lots of money.
I am saddened that such a bad erroneous view of All Hippies
is still being had.


------------------
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла
}><}}('>~

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sand
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posted October 08, 2011 01:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sand     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Sand, wonderful movie synopsis. I love writing about films.. I wanted Randall to make a forum for movies/media cause I adore reading things like what you just wrote.. and I like writing them as well.

oh i didn't write that gyps, i put the link to the actual entry below..

but i do love films as well and it would be cool to yammer on about cinema somewhere on here. but then it kinda might turn into "the astrological signs of reality tv stars" kinda forum.

izit coz i mentioned hips that we're now talking about hippies?

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