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Author
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Topic: The First Mov..
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Odette
Knowflake Posts: 694
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted July 05, 2012 07:30 PM
  
*Move..___ I have a question.. Do you guys think a majority of women are bothered by this 'first move' thing?
Like - would they prefer for it to be more socially acceptable so they can go all out and make the first move? I don't feel like on an instinctual animalistic level women actually have a drive to make that first move..
I don't *feel* it... in a majority of women.
Am I wrong in saying this?
It's just my vibe deep down.... For me at least - it just FEELS instinctively "in tune" and perfect for the male homosapein to make the first move... because he has a P***S *ahem* - and he penetrates... so doesn't that just make sense.. since he is the one penetrating me - sexually - that he would initiate? Am I completely wrong in saying this - on a purely animalistic- biological level? Because I know different animals of different species have their own manner of mating. But I thought as - apes... we would fit this pattern - of the male being the one to initiate sex. (in a hetero rel). That being said - on a purely intellectual level - obviously we can make our choices in life.. and if someone prefers making the first move - whether they're male or female etc.... it's their call. I am just asking this question on a more animal-instict level...?
What do you think *feels* right - instinctually? IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 694
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted July 05, 2012 07:35 PM
Aqua guy - I'm curious what you think about this.. from a male perspective.. Do you feel at all deep down - that because you have a drive to *penetrate* sexually... and basically insert your xxx into her... xxx.
Does this drive make you feel like - making a move at all?
Do you feel like it's instinctual at all?
Or not?IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 3189
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 05, 2012 07:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Aqua guy - I'm curious what you think about this.. from a male perspective.. Do you feel at all deep down - that because you have a drive to *penetrate* sexually... and basically insert your xxx into her... xxx.
Does this drive make you feel like - making a move at all?
Do you feel like it's instinctual at all?
Or not?
lol your kinda turning me on XD j/k yea it does feel instinctual, but at the same time we arent animals and it wouldnt make a difference if the woman made the first move, its just whatever.
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ail221
Knowflake Posts: 471
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted July 05, 2012 08:05 PM
Are we not "allowed" to say those words in this forum??
O__O
SKIPS OFF.
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ail221
Knowflake Posts: 471
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted July 05, 2012 11:16 PM
There is no yes or no answer to whether the majority of women are bothered by the first move, rather the concept of a dominate women is "demonized" even the phrasing of a female pursuer is usually a seductress heck look at the synonyms; temptress, siren, vamp, femme fatale (French), Lorelei, Circe, enchantress, succubus etc. Whereas a man is just called a man; on a softer side a Casanova or harsher scale a player or playboy but even those titles aren't really seen as bad.What feels instinctual depends on the moment, my mind doesn't process "ok I am going to wait for him to make a move." Rather I need satisfaction or I want to make such and such feel. Honestly waiting for someone else to make a move points towards lack experience or uncertainty. IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 3235
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 06, 2012 04:09 AM
I don't like people hitting on me or flirting with me. I don't hit on or flirt with people, either. I just don't do dating. Either way would freak me out and make me uncomfortable. As for other people, I think that it's OK for either one to make a move. IP: Logged |
FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 303
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 05:10 AM
Haha this is a funny thread. On a purely biological level- I had a biology teacher that told us that for mammals and reproductive patterns "eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap". Men produce billions of sperm in their lifetime while women have significantly fewer reproductive opportunities. So while males are trying to get their sperm out there so to speak females have to be more selective since they don't have the same number of opportunities and are in a more vulnerable position... (In the animal world just to clarify lol) But I think that's the beauty of contraception, we don't have to consider every date or sexual partner as someone we might have kids with. So I think it doesn't really have to apply in today's world... And I also think if we're going off of biology women have the instinctual drive for sex just as much as men do and obviously a person's personal level of sex drive and ways of communicating/establishing relationships varies from person to person in both genders but there are gender roles that can make it uncomfortable for some people either way and blah blah... I personally don't usually make the first move but if I know someone is interested in me I like flirting/pursuing back and forth instead of just being completely passive about how I feel... IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 3178
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted July 06, 2012 09:35 AM
I don't like making "first moves.". It is either mutual or it isn't. I'm not inclined to "chase" anybody. If there is no mutual interest upfront, then it's a waste of time to me. I don't flirt or hit on others. I speak only for myself, but the way that penetration thing was discribed seemed a little gross. Honestly, if I were a woman and if some guy were to do the "yo baby, how ya doing" routine, I think my drink would end up in his face. I had plenty of dates by just being myself and staying with the tasteful decorum. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 3189
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 11:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
There is no yes or no answer to whether the majority of women are bothered by the first move, rather the concept of a dominate women is "demonized" even the phrasing of a female pursuer is usually a seductress heck look at the synonyms; temptress, siren, vamp, femme fatale (French), Lorelei, Circe, enchantress, succubus etc. Whereas a man is just called a man; on a softer side a Casanova or harsher scale a player or playboy but even those titles aren't really seen as bad.What feels instinctual depends on the moment, my mind doesn't process "ok I am going to wait for him to make a move." Rather I need satisfaction or I want to make such and such feel. Honestly waiting for someone else to make a move points towards lack experience or uncertainty.
ive never heard of a woman being demonized for walking up and talking to a guy, people do it all the time.
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ail221
Knowflake Posts: 471
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 11:33 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by ail221:
[b]There is no yes or no answer to whether the majority of women are bothered by the first move, rather the concept of a dominate women is "demonized" even the phrasing of a female pursuer is usually a seductress heck look at the synonyms; temptress, siren, vamp, femme fatale (French), Lorelei, Circe, enchantress, succubus etc. Whereas a man is just called a man; on a softer side a Casanova or harsher scale a player or playboy but even those titles aren't really seen as bad.What feels instinctual depends on the moment, my mind doesn't process "ok I am going to wait for him to make a move." Rather I need satisfaction or I want to make such and such feel. Honestly waiting for someone else to make a move points towards lack experience or uncertainty.
ive never heard of a woman being demonized for walking up and talking to a guy, people do it all the time.[/B][/QUOTE]
Please take a women's studies course.
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 3189
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 12:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
Please take a women's studies course.
i'm very well aware of those actually. IP: Logged |
ail221
Knowflake Posts: 471
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 12:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
i'm very well aware of those actually.
Actually I don't think you are or else you would understand what I am trying to say. Your basing everything you know about the experience of being women from your experiences as a man. That's like saying I am a cat and your a dog and your saying you know what it is like to be a cat but you've only come across a handful of cats therefore you understand the experience.
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David Bowie Eyes
Knowflake Posts: 144
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 12:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
Please take a women's studies course.
Why? It only represents the agenda and statistics which the course espouses. Please get out in the real world. S_ _ t from college rarely reflects what is really happening. Steve IP: Logged |
David Bowie Eyes
Knowflake Posts: 144
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 01:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
Actually I don't think you are or else you would understand what I am trying to say. Your basing everything you know about the experience of being women from your experiences as a man. That's like saying I am a cat and your a dog and your saying you know what it is like to be a cat but you've only come across a handful of cats therefore you understand the experience.
First, he was speaking from his experience,which informs his view. The former is something unique to us all and one experience is just as valid as the next. His view is equally valid, based upon his experience.
Second, I find in your approach, you to be guilty of the thing you accuse him of. You are basing everything you "know" concerning his view, and the male perspective that stems from it, on your female experience and female view. So, if his experience and view of womanhood is invalid, so is your view that his view is invalid. Because your outlook is colored by your experience and that internal experience of womanhood which you then externalize onto something he said which is a related subject but was not adressing direct, how you see things. So to quiz and grade him on an examination ( how you see things) he didn't partake of is grossly unfair. It's apples and oranges. They aren't the same.Steve IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 3189
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 01:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by David Bowie Eyes:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by ail221:
[b] Actually I don't think you are or else you would understand what I am trying to say. Your basing everything you know about the experience of being women from your experiences as a man. That's like saying I am a cat and your a dog and your saying you know what it is like to be a cat but you've only come across a handful of cats therefore you understand the experience.
exactly! i was simply saying thaym
First, he was speaking from his experience,which informs his view. The former is something unique to us all and one experience is just as valid as the next. His view is equally valid, based upon his experience.
Second, I find in your approach, you to be guilty of the thing you accuse him of. You are basing everything you "know" concerning his view, and the male perspective that stems from it, on your female experience and female view. So, if his experience and view of womanhood is invalid, so is your view that his view is invalid. Because your outlook is colored by your experience and that internal experience of womanhood which you then externalize onto something he said which is related but was not adressing direct, how you see things. So to quiz and grade him on an examination he didn't partake of is grossly unfair.It's apples and oranges.They aren't the same.Steve[/B][/QUOTE] exactly, i was simply saying that i have never heard a guy complaining about being approached by a woman. She was implying that men view those women who take the initiative badly, and i think that is untrue mostly,some men might think that way, but ive never met them. heck i welcome women approaching men, the ladies can do whatever they want.  IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 3189
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 01:51 PM
also,would like to add something else. i think in a weird way it would make things alot less confusing if women took the iniative more often. women are alot more subtle most of the time , and its hard to tell if she would be open to be approached by a guy,but on the other hand guys are very easy to read, if he thinks your hot , you are going to know it. So i honestly feel women would have it easy approaching us, guys are easier to talk to in general.IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 3178
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted July 06, 2012 02:17 PM
Aquaguy,With taking the initiative, it also comes with heightened risk of rejection. I'm not so sure very many women are well equipped for rejection. At least, they would be likely to be more hurt. My experiences with doling out rejection have not been positive as a whole. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 3189
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 02:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Aquaguy,With taking the initiative, it also comes with heightened risk of rejection. I'm not so sure very many women are well equipped for rejection. At least, they would be likely to be more hurt. My experiences with doling out rejection have not been positive as a whole.
exactly, i think it would be beneficial for women to get a taste of what we go through, so they might be a bit more kind of how they reject us. as i have said before some women have been very mean and nasty with their rejections towards me, they have said things i couldnt imagine saying to anybody.
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ghanima81
Moderator Posts: 944
From: Maine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 06, 2012 02:54 PM
That's truly bizzare, aquaguy. What on earth would somebody want to be nasty about a rejection for? It's such an awkward situation and I can't see it being treated any way other than tenderly and kindly.I don't understand that logic, although I have seen it done in my high school years. You are early 20's, yes?
Perhaps that is something that men and women both just naturally grow out of? I'm too shy to make the first move. And I think my Venus in Cap/10th makes me a bit old fashioned. I like to be approached. I have a strange almost Southern lady (although I was born/raised in the Northeast) way about being courted. I don't care much about rejection, I was involved in music and theater for a long time so I have a thick skin there, but I am just shy and awkward so I keep to myself. Actually, as I grow older, I have a tendency to remain very reserved and distant until a LONG TIME has passed before I give anyone the time of day. My SO and I talked for 6 months on the phone before I even met him in person for coffee. And we knew each other transiently before that. LOL IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 3189
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 03:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ghanima81:
That's truly bizzare, aquaguy. What on earth would somebody want to be nasty about a rejection for? It's such an awkward situation and I can't see it being treated any way other than tenderly and kindly.I don't understand that logic, although I have seen it done in my high school years. You are early 20's, yes?
Perhaps that is something that men and women both just naturally grow out of? I'm too shy to make the first move. And I think my Venus in Cap/10th makes me a bit old fashioned. I like to be approached. I have a strange almost Southern lady (although I was born/raised in the Northeast) way about being courted. I don't care much about rejection, I was involved in music and theater for a long time so I have a thick skin there, but I am just shy and awkward so I keep to myself. Actually, as I grow older, I have a tendency to remain very reserved and distant until a LONG TIME has passed before I give anyone the time of day. My SO and I talked for 6 months on the phone before I even met him in person for coffee. And we knew each other transiently before that. LOL
oh yeah! it happens. i've had women call me ugly to my face lol.IP: Logged |
ghanima81
Moderator Posts: 944
From: Maine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 06, 2012 03:15 PM
Who are these harlots? OMG that's smashing my sense of humanity right to bits.. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 3189
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 03:22 PM
also something else i would like to know from ladies who want the guy to make the first move, how do you signal him that you would want him to talk to you? the only hint i have seen women give is a smile, but thats not much to go off of. was she smiling at me or another guy? or was she just being friendly?or did she just happen to be looking in my general direction and think of something funny and it caused her to smile? a smile can mean so many things...IP: Logged |
ghanima81
Moderator Posts: 944
From: Maine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 06, 2012 03:25 PM
Personally, the smile would be really obviously directed at you. There's something to be said of the "showing her feathers" anthropoligical indication of bearing her neck in your direction. Laughing or smiling with eye contact, then a hair toss or stroke or tipping her head back so you see her neck. A smile CAN mean so many things, but a woman that wants you to come to her will make that apparent... IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 3189
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 06, 2012 03:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ghanima81:
Personally, the smile would be really obviously directed at you. There's something to be said of the "showing her feathers" anthropoligical indication of bearing her neck in your direction. Laughing or smiling with eye contact, then a hair toss or stroke or tipping her head back so you see her neck. A smile CAN mean so many things, but a woman that wants you to come to her will make that apparent...
but thats the thing! i have been rejected by women who were showing all these signals to me while i was talking to her. playing with her hair, looking me right in the eye and smiling, also the neck thing too. theres a girl at work who smiles at me and does the hair and neck think, but when i try talking to her, she acts like she doesnt want to talk. Has God created anything more freaking confusing than women?IP: Logged |
ghanima81
Moderator Posts: 944
From: Maine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 06, 2012 03:38 PM
That's very strange. But not every woman KNOWS what she wants, sadly. I think men are simple in their needs and wants, in the most raw sense, which is why the woman is dissected more and seen as more confusing. Although really, we analyze the heck out of every move you men make. Waste of time tbh, generally there are two things they are getting at in their actions, Yes or no. Apply those answers to any question you may have for a man's actions. Women.... you have to add a lot of gray area and what ifs...  You are heavily Aquarian in your chart, correct? I am as well, and spend a disproportionate amount of time thinking about things rather than just coming out and ASKING for clarification. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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