posted October 07, 2012 08:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by C1ND3R:
I feel so fuccking giddy today that i have a feeling i'll probably stumble across someone who's crazy about me... That usually happens after i've made up my mind to spend time and work on myself. Good thing is that s-turn is transiting my Venus right now and i've grown out of the needy Venus in Cancer phase.

I'm gonna enjoy this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI18clt0q-Q

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Boy, oh, boy.. When my intuition comes alive... Is it ever spot on..!

posted October 07, 2012 09:56 PM            

quote:

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When my intuition comes alive... Is it ever spot on..!

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Such an exciting life...

posted October 13, 2012 07:57 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted October 13, 2012 09:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I am percolating on writing an article on why woman want the bad boy. My only problem is it will reveal too much about me

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Not all of us do. Of course many who want a different kind of man tend to think all other women want the same thing, too, so it's an easy mistake to make.

I'm gonna assume you've heard the common reasons given (excitement, taking the lead, skilled liars who know how to tell women exactly what they want to hear, etc), and I think many of them are good points, but here's an observation I've made that I've never seen mentioned before:

Women tend to go after men (or at least marry) men who are either much like their father at a fundamental level (there may be cosmetic differences, like a fireman instead of a cop, or an uptight Wiccan fundie over an uptight Baptist fundie), or near the exact opposite (so one with a bullying father goes for the passive and bullied, or one with a spineless father marries an alpha). And more importantly I think that as children fathers can be both scary yet comforting. On bad days he can reject you, send you away, punish you severely (and physical is likely), and can be scary to others (like seeing a father terrorize and beat a brother to "toughen him up and make a man out of him"), but on good days he's loving, affectionate, protective, you're his little princess, and overall he typically pays the bills and keeps you safe (even if you're sometimes scared of him).

I believe this leads many women to wrongly believe that all men who can be as scary as their father won't hurt them. That's why many will hook up with jerks & abusers and then act surprised when she's the next to be jerked around and abused, because she thought she was different (just as she was for her dad).

Don't know how much is comedic license but Chris Rock once shared in a skit about women loving hip hop artists (and fans of those artists) who sing about carrying out vicious violence on women saying "He's talking about OTHER women, not me." And many romance novels spread this drivel as well (the evil landlord, the abducting pirate, etc, who ends up giving up his bad boy days to settle with her forever, loving & protecting her for the rest of her days), and I think that's much of the appeal of Twilight (with "staying young forever" thrown in, and the tight abs on the guys don't hurt either), but the similar scenerio in the Angel ep wasn't so popular (because it showed a more accurate view of when a woman tried doing what Bella did to Edward, but Angel turned on her as just another victim to be killed with her acting just as surprised as the women who take on the jerks thinking he'll treat her different but finds she's just another **** for him to abuse). And like many men with porn, many women can't tell the difference between real life and their fantasies.

And in extreme cases it leads to this disorder:
http://lovearthistory.hubpages.com/hub/psyhparaphilia

However, I believe at least half of all women lean this way (the many causes of this disorder also still apply, just on a less epic scale), and thus part of the appeal of the bad boys.

Luckily some of us aren't compelled to throw away our self-respect to be with the men who have no respect for us.

posted October 14, 2012 02:20 PM            

Girls with big dads like big guys. A girl with a dad that is 6'4 will never go for a man that is 5'3.

I think it goes against everything she might've grown up to see and expect from a man; being comforted in his big arms, etc. She won't find comfort in a guy who can barely wrap his arms around her.

Mars and Sun are what women would be attracted to.

I read that MARS is the "bad boy" thing that women go for... It's exciting but it may not be what they need from a relationship.

Mars in a sense, wouldn't be the "dad".. Mars would be what would challenge the dad.

If he can trump her father and seem competent, he'll win her over.. Unless Mars has other aspects, it'll just be the schoolgirl thing til she gets a more realistic view on what she needs.

posted October 14, 2012 10:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Not all of us do. Of course many who want a different kind of man tend to think all other women want the same thing, too, so it's an easy mistake to make.

I'm gonna assume you've heard the common reasons given (excitement, taking the lead, skilled liars who know how to tell women exactly what they want to hear, etc), and I think many of them are good points, but here's an observation I've made that I've never seen mentioned before:

Women tend to go after men (or at least marry) men who are either much like their father at a fundamental level (there may be cosmetic differences, like a fireman instead of a cop, or an uptight Wiccan fundie over an uptight Baptist fundie), or near the exact opposite (so one with a bullying father goes for the passive and bullied, or one with a spineless father marries an alpha). And more importantly I think that as children fathers can be both scary yet comforting. On bad days he can reject you, send you away, punish you severely (and physical is likely), and can be scary to others (like seeing a father terrorize and beat a brother to "toughen him up and make a man out of him"), but on good days he's loving, affectionate, protective, you're his little princess, and overall he typically pays the bills and keeps you safe (even if you're sometimes scared of him).

I believe this leads many women to wrongly believe that all men who can be as scary as their father won't hurt them. That's why many will hook up with jerks & abusers and then act surprised when she's the next to be jerked around and abused, because she thought she was different (just as she was for her dad).

Don't know how much is comedic license but Chris Rock once shared in a skit about women loving hip hop artists (and fans of those artists) who sing about carrying out vicious violence on women saying "He's talking about OTHER women, not me." And many romance novels spread this drivel as well (the evil landlord, the abducting pirate, etc, who ends up giving up his bad boy days to settle with her forever, loving & protecting her for the rest of her days), and I think that's much of the appeal of Twilight (with "staying young forever" thrown in, and the tight abs on the guys don't hurt either), but the similar scenerio in the Angel ep wasn't so popular (because it showed a more accurate view of when a woman tried doing what Bella did to Edward, but Angel turned on her as just another victim to be killed with her acting just as surprised as the women who take on the jerks thinking he'll treat her different but finds she's just another **** for him to abuse). And like many men with porn, many women can't tell the difference between real life and their fantasies.

And in extreme cases it leads to this disorder:
http://lovearthistory.hubpages.com/hub/psyhparaphilia

However, I believe at least half of all women lean this way (the many causes of this disorder also still apply, just on a less epic scale), and thus part of the appeal of the bad boys.

Luckily some of us aren't compelled to throw away our self-respect to be with the men who have no respect for us.

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posted October 14, 2012 11:05 PM            

But once you leave heterosexuality it becomes 50/50. The straight guy says male or female, bi or gay, it's all about 50/50, but the gay guy says he thinks fully gay men are about 75% likely to be submissive.

My observations (which includes actual contact with the LGBT community, the most of whom can easily pass as straight if only casually known, not just seeing a few very overt out & proud members who tend to stick in memory) suggest a similar dynamic exist outside the BDSM community as well. For example, I have yet to meet a lesbian or bi woman who didn't think Twilight was crap (and even the "Bellice," or BellaxAlice slash presumably written by females, I've seen doesn't have Alice act anywhere as creepy, disturbing, and controlling as Edward, even though I personally found Alice condescending in the novel).