posted October 06, 2012 04:40 PM            

I was thinking about this after remembering Christina Christian on American Idol.

I thought that i may be "too" available and that it may be a reason as to why i'm single..

I considered faking being in a relationship to see if i can attract one. I'd change my facebook relationship status and watch the magic work.. It seems that people want what somebody else has, right?

Had you never seen a nice kitchen set, would you worry much about eating out of plastic? Probably not.

People measure the worth of something by how desirable it is by everyone else; particularly, those who seem to embody things that they would like to be..

BUT, on the other hand, Christina Christian was voted off the next episode after Simon mentioned he found out that she was engaged.. All of her adoring fans just dropped her like a fly... So, what would be the perfect balance when it comes to something like this?

I know a guy who has been a very casual acquaintance and i met his friend the last time i saw him... His friend and i have been keeping in touch and as we have similar interests, we get along... Suddenly, the guy who introduced us is now being extremely caring and friendly. I know that they talk about me because messages get swapped, apparently... I find it so interesting. Before, i actually might've considered being with him but he was such an assshole. Then, he does this 180 once he finds out his friend finds a lot of things about me to be attractive...

I wish i had a pretend wingman or girl with me wherever i went so that i could pretend we never met and have them flirt with me to attract the attention of someone else once they realize from the fake interaction that i'm approachable.

Is increasing desirability factor a lot like trying to build credit? Do you always need a co-sign?

posted October 06, 2012 06:16 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
this is sad but true. I've experimented with it before, I was talking to this girl who I had lots in common with but she wasn't interested in me in a sexual or romantic way. so I started telling her I was going to the clubs and hooking up with lots of girls( which is a lie from hell because I don't go to clubs at all) and suddenly she's blowing up my phone everyday and she comes out and says she's in love with me. she wasn't interested in me when I was available and wanting a relationship but suddenly she's in love when she thinks I'm a man ***** , wtf?? I dont understand people sometimes. ...

---

that is pretty messed up

I think Cinder is onto something--(some) people want something more if it's off-limits/if other people have it.

Me, personally, I view it like this: would you really want to eat off of someone else's plate, or take a bit out of someone else's food? You don't know where they've been or what they have. Ick. Why not get nice, freshly-made food that's all yours, and that you don't have to share?

(Side note: one of my pet peeves when I go out for a meal is when people either reach over my plate and take something, when they take my leftover food, or when they try to "share" food/pass food all around. I don't mean like food in the bowl that you're supposed to pass; I mean like off their plate and then they take off of mine...unauthorized plate access...yuck yuck yuck).

Back on topic:

So, basically, my food analogy minus rant summed up: I see no point in going after someone who's been with everyone and their brother, or who is highly promiscuous/seems that way, nor do I see the point in going after someone taken. I don't see the appeal of people who already belong to someone else, or if they are the 'village bicycle'.

posted October 06, 2012 06:33 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
that is pretty f'ed up

I think Cinder is onto something--(some) people want something more if it's off-limits/if other people have it.

Me, personally, I view it like this: would you really want to eat off of someone else's plate, or take a bit out of someone else's food? You don't know where they've been or what they have. Ick. Why not get nice, freshly-made food that's all yours, and that you don't have to share?

(Side note: one of my pet peeves when I go out for a meal is when people either reach over my plate and take something, when they take my leftover food, or when they try to "share" food/pass food all around. I don't mean like food in the bowl that you're supposed to pass; I mean like off their plate and then they take off of mine...unauthorized plate access...yuck yuck yuck).

Back on topic:

So, basically, my food analogy minus rant summed up: I see no point in going after someone who's been with everyone and their brother, or who is highly promiscuous/seems that way, nor do I see the point in going after someone taken. I don't see the appeal of people who already belong to someone else, or if they are the 'village bicycle'.

Apparently a lot of people differ from me on this one, but I don't get it. Intellectually, I understand that some people like competition or whatever, or "forbidden fruit", but I don't really see the allure.

---

Neither do i. I actually bark at people and tell them off the bat that i do not share food so there's no funny business.

As for the "taken", i feel the same way. On the contrary if i feel thatni have to compete or in any way keep my eye on them, i just won't want it. I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's my leo moon, venus in Cancer or Mars in Aries.. I just don't like to play any games. I'm upfront about everything. If i don't have their undivided attention and devotion, i'm just not on for them.

My mom used to tell me about a lady she knew who cheated and once she started cheating (her husband didn't know) her sex life in the marriage suddenly had a great boost. She told me that the lesson was: "nothing bring a man home like the milk of another man".

I was really devoted to a guy i was very interested in and it wasn't til he saw me click with his friends that he lit up and started taking me serious..

How do you show or constantly remind someone of your worth so that they don't forget it?

It reminds me of my dog.. When i started training him, i would have to keep him hungry for a bit an then hold the bowl of food at a distance from him while he was on the chain so that he'd understand that he needs permission from me to even eat. I felt horrible doing it but it worked.

It really takes a lot of the magic out of romance when it all boils down to teaching commands..

They did it in American Pie.. Remember how finch lied about his sex to seem like a badasss in bed?

I tried doing something like that with a girl and no one would cone up to me thinking we were a couple..

When i'm with guys and i try to make it obvious that we're only there as friends, the guys that i'm with suddenly want to be all touchy.

When i'm by myself, i get a lot of looks and a lot of heads turning but they never come up to me.

Maybe i'm intimidating..

I have to figure out the science of this..

I guess we're all seeking to validate ourselves by comparison til we feel we're receiving the almost exact reflection of what we feel we're worth on the inside.

I think that unconditional love is just a crock.

The only way that i can think of relationships at the moment is like the one of nicole and tom cruise in eyes wide shut. They almost didn't trust or even like each other but by the end, they almost committed to each other out of sheer fear.

posted October 06, 2012 06:38 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Padre35:

Sort of depends, on one side people do want what other people like, on the other as soon as you commit then you have reduced ones value.

---

YES!!!!!!!!!! So where's the happy medium? That's happened to me more than once and i felt stupid afterward.. That i should've made them beg for it like i did my dog. Long enough til it became hard-wired in their brain and i was never taken as a sure thing.

Even though it sounds so awful.. If it were done to me, i would never trust enough to be myself around them. I'd just be a masochist.

I did it before and that wasn't fun. I can't help but wonder if i liked it. After all, i was pining for 3 years til my pluto conj descendant did a switch and turned the tables at the drop of a hat.

posted October 06, 2012 06:52 PM            

quote:

---

Factors in Depreciation

When you drive a car off the lot, you have agreed to pay the dealer a certain amount of money for the car. Even if you only drive it down the road and change your mind, you are now looking at a car that is only worth the wholesale value. The wholesale value is always less than the original retail value of the car. For a brand new car this initial depreciation can be in the thousands.

How well you maintain a car, the model of the car and the mileage of the car also affect the depreciated value. Some cars are more sought after, and therefore retain a higher value throughout their life.

How Much Can I Expect My New Car to Depreciate?

A new car depreciates or loses value almost immediately after you drive it off a dealer's lot. As a quick rule of thumb, a car will lose between 15% and 20% of its value each year according to Bankrate.com. A car in its second year will be worth 80% to 85% of its first year value and a car in its third year will be worth 80% to 85% of its second-year value.

Influences on a New Car's Depreciation
The amount that a vehicle depreciates varies depending on the make, model, year, type and other factors associated with the car. If you are looking to retain as much value as you can for your new car, there are some tips that will influence the rate of depreciation for your vehicle.

The Color of Your New Car
Believe it or not, the color of the car will influence the rate of depreciation. Cars that have a neutral paint color such as black or silver retain more value than those with more exotic paint colors. This is because neutral colors tend to remain popular in the future, resulting in a higher resale value than those that have been customized to fit the personality of the owner.

Maintenance and Reputation
New cars with low maintenance and a reputation for high quality also have good resale values and lower depreciation rates. Brands such as Toyota and Honda enjoy good maintenance records and have a reputation for being very well built cars.

How to Retain the Value of Your New Car

Lots of new car buyers are always looking a few steps down the road to the time when they eventually want to re-sell their vehicle. This is only natural, as not all drivers want to keep a car or truck for the entirety of its driving life (which may be several decades). Rather than drive around in an outdated model, they rely on a good solid used car private sale to get them into a newer vehicle. Others trade in at dealerships. Either way, there are some guidelines for getting the most out of your used car.

---

posted October 06, 2012 07:18 PM            

Apparently a lot of people differ from me on this one, but I don't get it. Intellectually, I understand that some people like competition or whatever, or "forbidden fruit", but I don't really see the allure. To me, taken people are strictly off-limits and non-taken people who shack up with anybody and everybody don't really have a sense of value or exclusivity. If
someone will take just about anybody, how are you
special if you go with them? You're not, really. [/
QUOTE]
I don't get it either.if I found out a girl was really promiscuous I would run the other way. it wouldn't make me want her lmao

posted October 06, 2012 07:28 PM            

And then the married can be especially attractive. The way it was explained to me is that some men preferred going after married women because such women are seen as probably being bored with her husband and more likely to engage in NSA sex as if she gets pregnant or whatever then she can pass it off as legite (and yeah, spouses DO pass on STDs to each other this way). And this is supposedly why I had a few men very attracted to me whenever I used to wear a ring and claimed to be married.

(And I've met women who said outright it was better to be a mistress than a wife because a mistress gets treated better while wives are sometimes taken for granted and so target married men for that reason.)

And there may be a kink factor, especially when it comes to marriage. I'm recalling a fairly recent Republican convention where ads for gay sex went up while Republicans were at the convention seeking discrete (and NSA) gay sex. One said he was married (presumably to a woman) and wanted to have sex with another married man.

And that reminds me of a Republican (and antigay one at that) who donated his sperm to a lesbian couple in NZ, the reason he gave was he MUST conceive children, and he just couldn't conceive enough. He didn't even have sex (IIRC, he didn't even meet them face to face, he donated at a fertility clinic for them to pick up later), he just wanted to know a child was born from him. And with that in mind maybe some go after married women believing if he gets her pregnant then she won't get rid of the child, and that's enough.

Hey, I don't claim to understand it, just that's how it looks to me.

posted October 06, 2012 09:48 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by C1ND3R:

YES!!!!!!!!!! So where's the happy medium? That's happened to me more than once and i felt stupid afterward.. That i should've made them beg for it like i did my dog. Long enough til it became hard-wired in their brain and i was never taken as a sure thing.

Even though it sounds so awful.. If it were done to me, i would never trust enough to be myself around them. I'd just be a masochist.

I did it before and that wasn't fun. I can't help but wonder if i liked it. After all, i was pining for 3 years til my pluto conj descendant did a switch and turned the tables at the drop of a hat.

Here's a question: By how much does a brand new car drop in value as soon as you drive it off the lot? How can we duplicate what the banks do and make sure that they'll be going NOWHERE?? My Venus in Cancer would like to know.

---

That is for you to decide, "happy" is a very subjective thing.

For myself, I'm quite happy just flirting until I find someone I'm in to.

Funny thing is though, that also makes my presence "mysterious" as I don't do what men usually do and chase after sex.

Not that I'm utterly opposed to a fling, but it does mean the cards are on table if it comes down to it and both people know what that is about.

posted October 07, 2012 12:32 AM            

Their wanting me / or me wanting them to want me because they want me.. Make any sense?

It's been tricky sorting it out.

posted October 07, 2012 04:40 AM            

His logic being that a married woman is more likely to be sleeping w only him & the husband while a single girl w more time and freedom can sleep around with many more men. Plus he says it feels like he is her one and only w exception to the douche husband while a single girl has the space to play the game.

This guy is a water sign and very emotional with an alleged connection to the mistress. He found one he cares for and in a weird way they have some sort of relationship as she is allegedly his only on the side and he is hers.

As for myself, not sure if being married amped by attraction factor. Never had any concerns w finding dates when single, and now I don't pay really pay attention. I did form a close bond to a guy friend (not the cheater) and started feeling emotional.

After working through it all, we are still friends and am on a better place w my spouse for having learned that lesson. I really don't think my friend saw me as a hook up as he never made perverted comments or gestures. He is still single and to my knowledge doesn't have a fetish for married girls.

As for the spouse taking you for granted, yes that's certainly a real possibility but it works both ways. Spouse and I both began neglecting each other in the demands of raising a family and cultivating high paced careers.

Sometimes I'd find myself surprised to glance at him and realize my husband is a handsome man. You get used to going through the routine, and sadly forget to really look at each other. It takes effort, understanding and a lot of commitment.

Tonight husband surprised me by asking me out to a movie. I was about to thrown on something cute but simple and changed my mind. I thought to myself, why not surprise him? I came out in my most beautiful little black dress & BCBG stilettos well he took one look and went back in our room to change out of his grimy shirt and put on something that did justice to his Mars in Scorpio

I was so proud to be on the arm of such a handsome man and could see he was more than happy to be reminded of why he made me his wife. In a nutshell taking our loves for granted is so easy to do, and its so hard to get back on track if it goes on too long. Sometimes repair attempts are too little too late

posted October 07, 2012 06:19 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by C1ND3R:
Neither do i. I actually bark at people and tell them off the bat that i do not share food so there's no funny business.

As for the "taken", i feel the same way. On the contrary if i feel thatni have to compete or in any way keep my eye on them, i just won't want it. I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's my leo moon, venus in Cancer or Mars in Aries.. I just don't like to play any games. I'm upfront about everything. If i don't have their undivided attention and devotion, i'm just not on for them.

---

haha..I feel relieved now.

I honestly feel like growling when someone reaches over my plate or messes with my food. I'm very territorial about it lol. I just give people a big glare when they violate food rules and personal plate-space. I don't do that whole "Lady and the Tramp" spaghetti-sharing business. Again, I love to cook for people, but my plate is MINE. And don't even get me started on drinks. I hate when people want me to take a sip of something. At church I can tolerate it because they wipe the glass, and hey it's free wine, but other than that, no. Not even if you're family. None of that.

I basically feel like Roxy (Jasmine Guy's character) in this scene from "Dead Like Me" (it happens at about 1:00 into the video, around that mark--it's just under a minute and a half long), when someone takes, reaches over, or otherwise gets into my food:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Msok3KD_P84

(if you haven't seen the show, it is GREAT)

**

I don't date, but I've thought a lot about relationships and personally, I'd be similar to you with the part that I quoted. I do admit to being a bit of a prima donna at times (at least internally; I try not to express it or let that out). In many situations, I like being the top dog, or at least in the top triangle of the pyramid (though not if it means having a ton of responsibilities that I don't want; it depends on what I have to do to be in that spot).

With a married/taken person, you could never be #1. Even if you're loved more, you're still never the "official" one who gets the top spot. To use yet another food analogy, you never get to eat the nice souffle or the beautiful salad because you can't eat at the table or even be seen there. You're the stray animal who wanders in and gets the scraps--what's leftover. Even if it tastes pretty good, it's still not the same. I would never go out (knowingly) with someone who was married/taken, or even whose spouse had died. I wouldn't go out with someone was divorced and still in love, someone non-divorced but still in love with another, or someone who had kids. You could never be #1 in any of those situations; someone else would always have the person's heart and beat you out for that spot.

If I were ever to date (and that's highly unlikely as I just don't want to), I could only be with THE one or with no one. I just can't settle. The idea of settling literally is gross to me. Being anything less than the love of someone's life is useless, pointless, a waste of time, and worthless, as far as I'm concerned. Even if someone cares about you, if you're not #1, you're nobody and nothing. (Venus in Scorpio here).

posted October 07, 2012 09:11 AM            

And do to singles, unless you get into the spirit of sharing and sacrifice for another, please don't get into a relationship. You're only going to frustrate yourself.

posted October 07, 2012 09:21 AM            

I call it: my power suit.

posted October 07, 2012 10:57 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Being oogled and lusted over loses its charm very quickly, especially when all parties know you are accounted for.

And do to singles, unless you get into the spirit of sharing and sacrifice for another, please don't get into a relationship. You're only going to frustrate yourself.

My loved ones eat off my plate all the time. They share everything I have and own.

---

Sharing is fine, but so is personal space.

Again, I love cooking for people, but it's very, very invasive--and maybe this is just a cultural thing and how I was raised/how my family is--when people are all up in my space. It makes me intensely uncomfortable. I do share my food, but not my personal space. My way of sharing is to make you your own to enjoy and then I have my own and all are happy.

Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

I feel the same way about being hugged too much/by the wrong people/at the wrong time/when I don't want to be hugged (which is most of the time). I also feel the same if someone stands too close to me. I would NEVER let someone use my bath stuff or brushes or personal care products (which is highly unsanitary; sharing makeup, for example, carries a risk of eye infection): I'd maybe get them their own for Christmas or give them a recommendation, but again, personal space. I hate it at church when people try to hug me or want to hold hands during prayer; it's too hippy-dippy-trippy for me. I like people. I just don't like people in my personal space.

Having a need for space isn't a bad thing, and not being the huggy-kissy sharey-carey type doesn't mean that you're cold or unfeeling. It doesn't mean that you don't care about others. Some people just have a higher need for personal space than others. And, again, culture might play into it, plus some families are just not the "touchy feely" types.

I think the main thing is just to respect people's boundaries, and if someone has a higher need for space, not to take it so personally. It's not personal and isn't meant to be offensive.

Again, different strokes, different folks.

posted October 07, 2012 02:31 PM            

Especially feel weird when my father in law's girlfriend hugs me, as a hug should be mutual w someone you know and really care about. I don't really feel a bond for this woman and it smothers me to feel her arms around me in embrace. She is also big on pressuring everyone to hold hands and pray nearly every time we visit. Annoys me as neither my spouse nor I truly subscribe to her beliefs, and we'd never pressure any guest to join us in something like that.

I could understand a lot of your views on being the one & only, as my Venus is also in Scorpio. I am curious to ask, if you found your one true love., would you feel having a child together would minimize your place as the one and only?

I hope the question isn't too intrusive, and feel free to disregard if it comes across as too uncomfortable. I'm genuinely interested, as I used to wonder about how I'd feel w a child holding a special place in my loves heart before becoming a parent.

I also know a couple in which she is dying for a child and hasn't been able to carry to term. She wants to adopt but he refuses because he wants to be her only love and is very needy of her affection

. She is a Scorpio sun he is a cancer, she is terribly unhappy and miserable as being a mother is her highest desire but feels trapped into staying w him. They've been married 20 years and he smothers her and follows her around constantly, needing to take all work breaks and lunch hour together everyday. I could see the passion of wanting to be number one, but in their case it feels unhealthy.

posted October 07, 2012 02:39 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PhoenixFire:
RP, I can relate to the personal space examples you listed. I feel weird w my husband's family being touchy as my family is very much into space. I only touch & embrace people that truly mean much to me and even then w respect to space. Ditto on food off the plate. I ll share what's on my plate by placing it on the other persons plate, but don't want them eating off my plate and vice versa.

Especially feel weird when my father in law's girlfriend hugs me, as a hug should be mutual w someone you know and really care about. I don't really feel a bond for this woman and it smothers me to feel her arms around me in embrace. She is also big on pressuring everyone to hold hands and pray nearly every time we visit. Annoys me as neither my spouse nor I truly subscribe to her beliefs, and we'd never pressure any guest to join us in something like that.

I could understand a lot of your views on being the one & only, as my Venus is also in Scorpio. I am curious to ask, if you found your one true love., would you feel having a child together would minimize your place as the one and only?

I hope the question isn't too intrusive, and feel free to disregard if it comes across as too uncomfortable. I'm genuinely interested, as I used to wonder about how I'd feel w a child holding a special place in my loves heart before becoming a parent.

I also know a couple in which she is dying for a child and hasn't been able to carry to term. She wants to adopt but he refuses because he wants to be her only love and is very needy of her affection

. She is a Scorpio sun he is a cancer, she is terribly unhappy and miserable as being a mother is her highest desire but feels trapped into staying w him. They've been married 20 years and he smothers her and follows her around constantly, needing to take all work breaks and lunch hour together everyday. I could see the passion of wanting to be number one, but in their case it feels unhealthy.

For myself, I must say once my children were born it was totally fine to not be the only one in my loves heart. I love my children so much and see it as a good thing that they are loved by us both, and its not a competition it's just a different type of love. I also realize that even without kids, its always possible to not be the one and only as some folks are especially attached to their patents or a sibling etc.

---

I'm very strongly childfree, so I'm not having kids under any circumstances. I'm not going to debate that issue. My reasons are myriad and are not exclusively because of the need to be #1--that's one reason of many. I'm very, very solid on that one, so please don't think that I can be persuaded on that one. I don't say that to be hurtful, and I hope I'm not being hurtful (as I'm saying this aloud in my head, my tone is gentle but firm), but I do like you and don't want to have bad feelings/tension/aggravation; that happened to me before with other people and it really upset me. Don't want to go through that again.

If that offends you, I'm sorry, but I have to set a boundary on that because I don't want to get catty or mean. I tried to put that in a tactful way and hope that I succeeded. I do like talking you/don't want to ignore/avoid you altogether; I'm just asking you not to try to persuade me to your way of thinking, so feel free to discuss other topics with me.

I would honestly say that yes, children would undermine my spot as the #1. One big reason why I don't date is that too many people want kids or already have them, and that's a dealbreaker right off the bat. You really do have to have the same outlook, goals, and values to be compatible, especially on the non-negotiable things.

In all honesty, I feel very positive about my decision to not date. I don't feel incomplete or unfulfilled as a single person (i.e., because of being single) and I hate that stereotype. I wish people would be more open-minded on that and not just see us as these hopeless, tragic, "lost" people. That's not who we are or what our lives are like, and I wish people would understand that. I did explore the possibility of dating at one time, and it didn't work out, but, honestly, I'm glad that it didn't. The whole experience was meant to teach me that I was on the right path (being single), and it's been a blessing.

I would also have to ask, since you asked me what you asked me, the flip side of this: has your friend ever tried accepting that she can't have kids, and maybe going to counseling to help her move forward, if this is holding her back from being happy? Maybe volunteering with children or mentoring children who are already here and in need? I hope that I'm not being insensitive or unkind, as that's not my intent. My thinking is that she might not be able to change her circumstances about not being able to have children, but if it is to the point that her marriage is being affected, I think that working with someone might help her to decide what is best for her, and who to choose (i.e., choose to be with her husband, or choose to get a divorce and go the child route either by herself or with someone new).

posted October 07, 2012 04:04 PM            

Thanks for responding, totally respect your views, was just curious about the child angle. I'm totally accepting of different views, and can vouche for child raising to be very hard and not everyone's cup of tea. All my siblings are single & child free, and sometimes I do wistfully wish for the peace and quiet they enjoy

It annoys my sister very much when some people negatively judge her for choosing her lifestyle. Some people, even family members make stupid judgemental remarks about why she can't find man and such. It's really stupid, especially as its not that she can't find dates its just her choice not to be tied down right now.I admire that she is true to herself and doesn't settle for something that doesn't make her happy.

I think my friend and her husband did go to counseling but the hurtful feelings and smothering remain. I feel sad for her and hope they work things out and feel happier soon.

I'm not sure if she volunteers for children's activities, but she is also in my field of Social Work and doing her part to help service our children & families within foster care. I do notice she has an innocent child like demeanor, her whole office is decorated with Disney princess decor much like walking through the girls toy aisle in toyrus.

posted October 07, 2012 06:00 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PhoenixFire:
Hi RP,

Thanks for responding, totally respect your views, was just curious about the child angle. I'm totally accepting of different views, and can vouche for child raising to be very hard and not everyone's cup of tea. All my siblings are single & child free, and sometimes I do wistfully wish for the peace and quiet they enjoy

It annoys my sister very much when some people negatively judge her for choosing her lifestyle. Some people, even family members make stupid judgemental remarks about why she can't find man and such. It's really stupid, especially as its not that she can't find dates its just her choice not to be tied down right now.I admire that she is true to herself and doesn't settle for something that doesn't make her happy.

I think my friend and her husband did go to counseling but the hurtful feelings and smothering remain. I feel sad for her and hope they work things out and feel happier soon.

I'm not sure if she volunteers for children's activities, but she is also in my field of Social Work and doing her part to help service our children & families within foster care. I do notice she has an innocent child like demeanor, her whole office is decorated with Disney princess decor much like walking through the girls toy aisle in toyrus.

It makes me sad when some people make mean remarks to her about being in a fruitless marriage, as if the only point to being in a relationship is to procreate. Really dislike that mentality, its mean and narrow thinking. I'm baffled that sort of thinking exists in this day & age, as there are many reasons why one wants or doesn't or can or can't have children and all views/paths should be respected

---

OK, Phoenix; thanks for clarifying. I'm sorry if I came off as harsh; didn't mean to, but I've had negative experiences in the past (with different people), so I tend to be a bit 'claws-out-ish' on this issue. I really hope I didn't hurt or offend you, and I appreciate your willingness to engage me.