posted October 09, 2012 07:44 PM            

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Originally posted by ail221:
So many words for this thread.....
1. Neediness and Attentiveness are two different things.
2. Both men and women like attention from someone their in a new relationship until they get to that phase when they're like GTFO of my face, when the honeymoon phase is over.
3. Technology has made it easier to communicate with one another despite distance i.e. Skype, texting, ims, cellphone call etc. so if you don't wanna talk to someone just say it, unless you one of those weirdos that like having a girl or guy constantly text or call you because that's how you feel needed and or loved.
4. Communication is the foundation of any good relationship, no communication **** gets awkward really fast unless your having mind-blowing cosmic s e x and even then you have to speak to one another at some point.

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posted October 09, 2012 07:47 PM            

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Originally posted by RedScorp:
aquaguy, is this a problem that you face? I don't know if you stated and I don't wanna look.

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posted October 10, 2012 07:49 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
i get what your saying, people can definitely go overboard but i'm talking about men being labeled as needy and having a negative stigma attached to them because they actually value having a real relationship and spending time with their partner, it really puzzles me. i have heard alot of women complain about getting a lack of attention from their men but when they get a man who is attentive they end up hating him too and say he is too needy, lol so whats a guy to do? i was labeled as needy once which is laughable because i'm anything but needy, i needd my space and freedom to an extent but at the same time i'm not a complete space cadet and enjoy quality time with the girl i'm dating. every girl who has been interested in me has been very needy texting me 24/7 and if i dont respond within like 10 minutes they freak out, but yet i'm needy if i try to keep in touch on a regular basis psh.

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I think, though, that maybe guys who try to give attention go overboard. Like, they try too hard.

posted October 10, 2012 01:18 PM            

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Originally posted by redshift:
Gawd, where do you live Aquaguy? From your posts, it sounds like you live in a town with the most shallow, immature, air-headed, flakey concentration of women on the planet. Maybe you need to move to Alaska or Newfoundland or Quebec, where the women are too busy wrestling bears and building their own log cabins to waste time doing all this petty behavior you encounter.

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posted October 10, 2012 02:10 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
haha maybe. alaska? that would make matters worse, haven't you ever heard the term alaskan queen?

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Willow Palin may still be available rofl

posted October 10, 2012 02:26 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by redshift:
[b]Gawd, where do you live Aquaguy? From your posts, it sounds like you live in a town with the most shallow, immature, air-headed, flakey concentration of women on the planet. Maybe you need to move to Alaska or Newfoundland or Quebec, where the women are too busy wrestling bears and building their own log cabins to waste time doing all this petty behavior you encounter.

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posted October 10, 2012 04:49 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
this seems to be a word that is thrown around alot to describe people who value relationships and togetherness, especially men who are this way. if a man is interested in keeping in contact with the woman he likes on a daily basis and wants to spend time with her he is invariably labeled needy ,why is that? most women fit that description, they get very upset and emotional if they guy they like doesn't call or blows them off, so why is it such a bad thing in our culture for a guy to be like that? what gives?

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Aquaguy, this I think is a very air sign thing. Communication is HUGE to air signs. We're supposed to be able to rarely see our partners as long as we can talk to them/communicate with them often and they can keep us mentally stimulated. Other signs (earth signs let's say) might demand more physical prescence but air signs can carry on an almost ephemeral relationship as long as we're getting our life blood - chatter.

posted October 10, 2012 04:55 PM            

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:

Aquaguy, this I think is a very air sign thing. Communication is HUGE to air signs. We're supposed to be able to rarely see our partners as long as we can talk to them/communicate with them daily. Other signs (earth signs let's say) might demand more physical prescence but air signs can carry on an almost ephemeral relationship as long as we're getting our life blood - chatter.

Anyway, you combine the air sign need to talk with the fixed sign need for stability/sameness, and you get Aquarius - the need to talk consistently/everyday.

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posted October 10, 2012 05:22 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
yes. btw I don't consider myself needy at all , I can do my own thing but i'd like to keep in touch with the person I'm dating on a regular basis, otherwise what's the point? if you don't like communicating or spending time with someone why are you with them in the first place?

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just how often, though, is "regular basis" for you?

every day? a few times a day? every week? once a month?

posted October 10, 2012 05:33 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
yes. btw I don't consider myself needy at all , I can do my own thing but i'd like to keep in touch with the person I'm dating on a regular basis, otherwise what's the point? if you don't like communicating or spending time with someone why are you with them in the first place?

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posted October 10, 2012 05:40 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
just how often, though, is "regular basis" for you?

every day? a few times a day? every week? once a month?

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posted October 10, 2012 05:44 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Not reporting in once a day - on time at a specified time - is considered AWOL in my book and an event of default under the partnership agreement, and the letter of intent to merge, should there be one, will be cross defaulted to other contractual obligations. To this day, almost 20 years after marriage, my wife and I report to each other accounting for time differentials in excess of 15 minutes. I have a valid explanation when I arrive home 15 minutes late from work. She has a valid explanation if any task is executed 15 minutes late. In a 12-hour work day, we still managed to spend 5 waking hours together, in addition to lunch everyday. Either you are committed or you are not. If you aren't my attitude is for you to just get lost.

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posted October 10, 2012 05:45 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
[b] just how often, though, is "regular basis" for you?

every day? a few times a day? every week? once a month?

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have you ever asked any of them what they expected/felt comfortable with?

my guess is that it's less frequent than that

posted October 10, 2012 05:51 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
have you ever asked any of them what they expected/felt comfortable with?

my guess is that it's less frequent than that

me, I can talk to people multiple times a day, but don't need to--I mainly get mad when they haven't responded in about a week, or if they've gotten back to others and not me

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posted October 10, 2012 07:01 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

do you tell them that you have lots of condiments to go with your shorts?

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posted October 10, 2012 07:13 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
In such cases, my shorts may be accompanied with materials more odiously fragrant.

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posted October 11, 2012 05:15 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
[b] have you ever asked any of them what they expected/felt comfortable with?

my guess is that it's less frequent than that

me, I can talk to people multiple times a day, but don't need to--I mainly get mad when they haven't responded in about a week, or if they've gotten back to others and not me

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well, if you're ignoring them and shutting them out, that IS being angry

I used to do the same thing. The only time I do that now is if I'm pretty sure that I'm being manipulated, or if I really do not like a person/something they said made me very uncomfortable. These days, I just sort of back away if I feel like I've been overwhelming and let the person come to me, but I don't completely ignore them--I just let them initiate.

It could be that they are perceiving you as trying too hard, coming on too strong, etc. Their standards of what is too much communication could be entirely different than yours. I've learned that the hard way myself, and I've had that problem before where I talked a lot and was intense and expressive. Toning it down has helped a lot.

As I said before, I make it like a game--trying to use the fewest words while saying as much as I can. And I make getting responses a little game, too. I try to figure out patterns that make people more likely to respond, and have found a few things that work with certain people. So, it's kind of like Tetris, people-and-words version. Making it like a game also helps me not get mad if someone isn't communicating.

posted October 12, 2012 03:59 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
that's what's odd to me randall because most chicks are extremely needy, but yet they hate attentive guys. its a contradiction.

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I'm the opposite. I'm very possessive and 'needy' sometimes and I prefer men who admit they need me, will really try to be there or talk to me a lot [but reasonably... obsession is not a good thing and I try to avoid it even on my part]. I have Scorpio Venus con. Jupiter, and Cancer Mars trine Pluto+ opposite Neptune-Uranus.