posted December 17, 2012 11:41 PM            

While most of this is pretty much common sense and we all know it, its best to revisit the topic ala cracked style.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person_p2/

My favourites snippits from the article:

- "There is a reason why surgeons get more respect than comedy writers. There is a reason mechanics get more respect than unemployed hipsters. There is a reason your job will become your label if your death makes the news ("NFL Linebacker Dies in Murder/Suicide"). Tyler said, "You are not your job," but he also founded and ran a successful soap company and became the head of an international social and political movement. He was totally his job."

- "What, so you're saying that I can't get girls like that unless I have a nice job and make lots of money?"

No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse to write off everyone who rejects you by thinking that they're just being shallow and selfish. I'm asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don't say that you're a nice guy -- that's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding in the street. Do you know how to operate or not?

"Well, I'm not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!"

I'm sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don't have, then back the **** away from the patient. There's a witty, handsome guy with a promising career ready to step in and operate."

- "Because that's the step that gets skipped -- it's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?" See, because that second one could very well require giving up many of your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You might even have to change your personality.

"But why can't I find someone who just likes me for me?" you ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that just fix themselves?"

- "You" are nothing but the fruit.

Nobody cares about your dirt. "Who you are inside" is meaningless aside from what it produces for other people.

Inside, you have great compassion for poor people. Great. Does that result in you doing anything about it? Do you hear about some terrible tragedy in your community and say, "Oh, those poor children. Let them know that they are in my thoughts"? Because **** you if so -- find out what they need and help provide it. A hundred million people watched that Kony video, virtually all of whom kept those poor African children "in their thoughts." What did the collective power of those good thoughts provide? Jack ****ing ****. Children die every day because millions of us tell ourselves that caring is just as good as doing. It's an internal mechanism controlled by the lazy part of your brain to keep you from actually doing work."

posted December 18, 2012 12:12 AM            

For example if you are what you do, but you hate what you do, you are very likely to burn out and be replaced by someone younger and cheaper.

INOW, find your passion and be paid for it, failing that at least find something you like doing or life will become rather miserable quickly.

posted December 18, 2012 12:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mockingbird:
LET'S GO SELL SOME REAL ESTATE!

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posted December 18, 2012 12:35 AM            

Reading the article will help with understanding Xodian's enthusiasm.

(That's not meant to be snarky - tone can be difficult to convey on message boards.)

posted December 18, 2012 12:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mockingbird:
Good eye.

Reading the article will help with understanding Xodian's enthusiasm.

(That's not meant to be snarky - tone can be difficult to convey on message boards.)

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No problem!

LOVED this part:

""But I'm not good at anything!" Well, I have good news -- throw enough hours of repetition at it and you can get sort of good at anything. I was the world's shittiest writer when I was an infant. I was only slightly better at 25. But while I was failing miserably at my career, I wrote in my spare time for eight straight years, an article a week, before I ever made real money off it. It took 13 years for me to get good enough to make the New York Times best-seller list. It took me probably 20,000 hours of practice to sand the edges off my sucking."

Big fan of Robert Greene's mastery concept, 10,000 hours to obtain basal mastery, 20,000 hours for mastery just to come naturally.

No real shortcuts either, and their criticism portion was also spot on, if you attempt something you get feedback, likely to be bad at first, take it as a challenge to improve and examine the criticism for nuggets of ways to improve.

I do find the whole "..they would only love me if.." bit tiresome beyond belief.

posted December 18, 2012 12:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
For example if you are what you do, but you hate what you do, you are very likely to burn out and be replaced by someone younger and cheaper.

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Not true. A job (as menial as it may be) is a way of providing means for society to live. However, that doesn't means that you stop improving on your own self. Avenues of self improvement are always open if the motivation is there. Don't get bogged down with the "I haz no skillz! I iz loserz" mentality and let that be your crutch that you lean on to justify your deficiencies.

quote:

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INOW, find your passion and be paid for it, failing that at least find something you like doing or life will become rather miserable quickly.

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That is exactly what the article is telling you to do. What its telling you not to do is to linger around and find excuses to NOT do something.

quote:

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Buying stuff you do not need on credit to fill the void or justify oneself to oneself.[/b]

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Again, you mis-read the article. The article is actually telling you the opposite message. Consumerables are part of the equation but if all you are doing is consuming and not contributing, then you have an issue. Being just a lazy-ass gamer, or a couch potato dosing down on junk food won't help you cope with anything. If that is "you" then "you" need to change quickly. Given the number of things we consume in our daily lives and look for ways to escape the reality we are living in (may it be through video games, movies, etc.) we should ask ourselves; What if we actually devoted all of that time towards learning something?

Practical thinking might not be "cool" in the eyes of the hipster world but it sure as hell makes you a more capable person.

posted December 18, 2012 12:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mockingbird:
Good eye.

Reading the article will help with understanding Xodian's enthusiasm.

(That's not meant to be snarky - tone can be difficult to convey on message boards.)

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Its the ENTJ in me .

posted December 18, 2012 01:04 AM            

quote:

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Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day

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wow 36 times.. you don't say.

well... maybe in some cultures ^

definitely not in aussie-land haha..

posted December 18, 2012 01:07 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xodian:
Its the ENTJ in me .

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posted December 18, 2012 01:16 AM            

To me, people do that b/c they are using retail therapy to cover up their deep unease with themselves.

posted December 18, 2012 04:57 AM            

What a great article. Not sure how you found it or who wrote it, (I really was overtaken by this article.) but thanks a lot for posting it. You did great work by just letting everyone else read it. Everything in this article made so much sense to me. I would really appreciate if you would give me a way to contact the author of this article just to provide a little gratitude toward them. If its in the article then I will find it later. I'm just a little but too high on life/my future to care about finding it right now haha. You'll see me on TV one day, and I will credit the person behind this post for unleashing the dormant volcano of talent I possess in myself into an erupting agro-crag of extravagance and wonder.

posted December 18, 2012 05:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

Xodian, the writer did not make that point which is why I brought up the happiness in job/less nonsense on credit purchases.

To me, people do that b/c they are using retail therapy to cover up their deep unease with themselves.

Which does go to the whole "..if the only knew..they'd love me.(but since they don't I'll buy this on credit further sapping my self will and self image".." line of thinking.

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Maybe the ppl buying POLO RALPH LAUREN clothing are just fishing for a response... A response that can give them hope that they too can become apart of an elite group of people that 'made it' off an idea they felt strongly about. Hearing just a simple compliment like "wow you're wearing POLO? Im proud of you haha' can go a LONG way. Just imagine if you did something BIG?

posted December 18, 2012 07:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xodian:
Its the ENTJ in me .

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lmfao that is like a steamroller/ bulldozer your choice of heavy machinery. i.e. steve jobs

posted December 18, 2012 08:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
the thing that really bothers me about this article is how it takes a stab at guys like me and insinuates we must be flawed if women dont like us. as you all know i have complained about women of my generation choices in men, i dont like the choices they make but its their choice and they are within their rights to choose whomever they wish. however i disagree that im messed up just because i am not popular with women... i work 2 jobs, im starting school back in august , im mature for my age,i value commitment and take relationships seriously, i love kids and would make a great father. the way i see it i have alot to offer a woman and if they cant appreciate me and what i bring to the table then so be it. i will continue to improve myself and achieve things in life regardless of womens opinions of me. i know guys who are immature, irresponsible,on drugs and with lots of issues who get pretty girls, so i have a hard time seeing how im the one with issues. heck i know a guy who is 20 and does nothing but sit at home and plays video games, he doesnt have a job (completely dependent on mommy) and doesnt have a car, heck he doesnt even have a drivers license or high school diploma and guess what? he gets women! tons of them! and cheats on them too...so is he a superior man to me because women would rather spend time with him? hardly...... but thats just my opinion.

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If you stopped complaining about women...SERIOUSLY...if you could just STOP...you would have more success.

You will not have success until you stop, because these comments you make are like giant red flags that chase women away.

You know those bitter feminists who like to throw in a jab at men every time they open their mouth? Who blame every guy they ever met for what some other dude did to them?

You're like that.

And no one has been able to get that through to you, and you get angry when we try.

posted December 18, 2012 08:07 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
If you stopped complaining about women...SERIOUSLY...if you could just STOP...you would have more success.

You will not have success until you stop, because these comments you make are like giant red flags that chase women away.

You know those bitter feminists who like to throw in a jab at men every time they open their mouth? Who blame every guy they ever met for what some other dude did to them?

You're like that.

And no one has been able to get that through to you, and you get angry when we try.

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posted December 18, 2012 08:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

lol im not complaining in that post, im actually pretty positive, i'm simply stating the fact that i havent been successful with women lol it is what it is. but i dont think that makes me a damaged person, how is that complaining?
,

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Your words, bold mine for emphasis:

1. the thing that really bothers me about this article is how it takes a stab at guys like me and insinuates we must be flawed if women dont like us.

2. as you all know i have complained about women of my generation choices in men, i dont like the choices they make

3. i am not popular with women

4. the way i see it i have alot to offer a woman and if they cant appreciate me

5. i will continue to improve myself and achieve things in life regardless of womens opinions of me.

6. i know guys who are immature, irresponsible,on drugs and with lots of issues who get pretty girls, so i have a hard time seeing how im the one with issues.

7. heck i know a guy who is 20 and does nothing ... and guess what? he gets women! tons of them! and cheats on them too...so is he a superior man to me because women would rather spend time with him? hardly...... but thats just my opinion.

All of that is complaining (and it's just ONE post! And you've written dozens like that.) Believe it or not, you have to option to NOT make bitter, negative comments about women. Those comments are red flags, reflecting a very sh*tty attitude, which is the MAIN REASON you don't get dates.

You degrade women by talking about us like we are fish for you to catch.

But you can turn this around. It's only a matter of taming your mouth.

posted December 18, 2012 09:14 AM            

So this ONE issue drives me bonkers!

I want you to be happy. I want to get it through to you that you *CAN* be happy. That's all.

posted December 18, 2012 09:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by AstroNewb69:
Maybe the ppl buying POLO RALPH LAUREN clothing are just fishing for a response... A response that can give them hope that they too can become apart of an elite group of people that 'made it' off an idea they felt strongly about. Hearing just a simple compliment like "wow you're wearing POLO? Im proud of you haha' can go a LONG way. Just imagine if you did something BIG?

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Hah!

If a POLO SHIRT means that much to someone's self image IDK what to tell them!

To be clear there is -0- wrong with dressing well, there is something amiss (imho) when that becomes a locus of self esteem instead of accomplishment.

Which is what the Writers' thrust is from my pov.