posted February 12, 2013 12:05 AM            

I also think it's not necessarily just romantic, it can also be familial.

posted February 12, 2013 01:18 AM            

All we can do is try, but if someone were out to murder me, I'd allow them to.. only for them to see, there is more, at least I feel there is.

posted February 12, 2013 02:24 AM            

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Originally posted by SaturnineMoth:
unconditional love is a promise, that even if it takes a kick in the arse YOU are going to give that person a good, HARD, swift one(!) right there when they freaking need it! ~_~ I don't get why there's some distinction being made here that by being open to unconditional love towards other human beings it means you have to lower yourself in some way... in anyway... if you are lowering yourself to love anyone, that's a sign that you do not love yourself or them truly anyway... unconditional love should be forgiving, and accepting, BUT for the betterment of the person we love this way

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posted February 12, 2013 04:17 PM            

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Originally posted by FireMoon:
Sorry to just throw in some hippie sort of answer lol but this, to me, is the *idea* of unconditional love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD6Lo_7HCm0

Of course in reality loving someone this way when it's not reciprocated can lead to a lot of pain/anger.. But respecting yourself at the same time is acknowledging those feelings and realizing it's ok to walk away (or take whatever other actions necessary) but that you still love this person regardless of how they've affected you personally

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I love that song! Never heard it before.

One of my favorite quotes by Goethe, whose NN was conjunct my sun:

"If I love you, why is that any of your business?"

You can love a person the same way you love a song, right? The feeling's in you, that's what matters. And I think self-appreciation doesn't suffer for that...your own tastes, your loves, can be something you love yourself for.

posted February 12, 2013 04:31 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
But if someone has the patience to introduce the concept and make sure it's not confused with the common hypocrisy & rationalization then more power to them.

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I'm reading a book by Monty Roberts, "The Man Who Listens to Horses." He talks about how he learned to communicate with horses by watching mustangs out in the Nevada wilderness. The way that the mares disciplined their colts was a form of "tough love." The mares would drive misbehaving colts away from the herd, where they would be somewhat traumatized by being left vulnerable to predators. Then through body language, the mare would signal to the colt when it was okay to come back. The colt had to signal penance in order to get this invitation.

Not sure if any colts actually got attacked while in "time out" like this. The book doesn't mention any catastrophes. I'm guessing the mares wouldn't let it happen.

Anyway, applying this to people...

If you speak a common language with someone, to the point where very subtle cues mean a lot, you share something that I think often gets equated with love.

If you are willing to sacrifice having someone's high opinion of you, and put their affection for you on the line, in order to have them learn something for their own good...that's a kind of love, I think.

So without looking at all the abuses that can get shoveled under the umbrella of "tough love," and just looking at the basic intentions and relationship dynamic...I think that not only is tough love possible but it's also like the shadow side of all deep loves.

posted February 12, 2013 04:44 PM            

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Originally posted by SaturnineMoth:

My friends have been the greatest examples of unconditional love in my life~ I know it exists, because of their undying support and the many knocks on the head they've given me over the years, (to deter me from wrongs and warn me when I'm being foolish)

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I loved your post, just want to comment on this little part. I'm happy you have friends like that. I also have friends like that...I have no doubt we will be friends until the end. It's hard for me to put too fine of a point on it, but it's like we've reached a state of permanent mutual trust.

posted February 12, 2013 09:29 PM            

The Rose [3:28] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niszyg0cHsc

edit 2/14/2013

posted February 21, 2013 02:29 AM            

Ok, so my venus is in pisces so i'm a big ball of unconditional love mush, but....I think of love as being a one-sided thing, being "in love" is a very different kind of thing. There are many kinds of love, but when it comes down to it each kind is a very personal affair that may or may not be shared with the other party.

My point - hannaramaa - is that I have friends that I have had to (mostly) cut out of my life who I still love unconditionally. I have at least one family member that I feel that way about as well. Their involvement in my day-to-day life makes no difference to how I feel about them. Occasionally it has been better for my own personal well-being to not have a super close relationship with them, but that never dissipated that love I had for them from where it was when they were in my life.

posted February 21, 2013 02:32 AM            

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Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
Unconditional love...is to love and be loved with a drive towards the welfare of each other, and that you expect nothing in return. You can unconditionally love someone, but if it isn't returned, then you don't share unconditional love. I think. I think it's the simplest form of love - the most natural and most divine.

It's a paradox, and like all other paradoxes, it does exist. To me.

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posted February 21, 2013 04:42 PM            

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
What is it? I always thought it meant you had endless tolerance for someone, until a few people who told me they loved me unconditionally ended up cutting me out of their lives because I ****** them off. So what is it? How do you show unconditional love while still respecting yourself?

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The love your pet gives you. Seriously he/she never cares about your race, religion, looks, political ideology, education, career. You could be the biggest screw up in the world but your pet will return the love you give it. Your pet will also not betray you.

hehe. I love animals and if finding a man becomes to difficult Ill just buy a few birds. lol

posted May 14, 2013 04:13 AM            

When it comes to people; not too sure.
They say the love from a parent to child in unconditional - maybe not for all, but most.

posted May 15, 2013 06:39 PM            

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Originally posted by Dreaming111:
The love your pet gives you. Seriously he/she never cares about your race, religion, looks, political ideology, education, career. You could be the biggest screw up in the world but your pet will return the love you give it. Your pet will also not betray you.

hehe. I love animals and if finding a man becomes to difficult Ill just buy a few birds. lol

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