posted February 11, 2013 03:25 PM            

If your husband openly cheats on your one dozen times with one dozen other women, and then blames you for being unattractive, would you still love him to death like no other?

posted February 11, 2013 03:48 PM            

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Originally posted by LunaNight:
Well, in my eyes, I think unconditional love is where you support someone regardless of their downfalls. It may not be easy for you, yourself, to continue being around them, but you are still accepting of them, and wish the best for them. You don't judge any one situation.. you hold true to knowing they aren't perfect. No one is. They need to see they are loved regardless... and you not putting them down via words, or any judegment where what they are doing is wrong....

It's a wholehearted acceptance. They are beautiful in your eyes.. perfect, in some shape or form.. and just right, exactly how they need to be to grow.

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posted February 11, 2013 03:58 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
It's not practical. Unrealistic.

If your husband openly cheats on your one dozen times with one dozen other women, and then blames you for being unattractive, would you still love him to death like no other?

This is fantasy stuff best reserved for fairy tales.

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posted February 11, 2013 04:04 PM            

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Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
That's not unconditional love. That's idiotic love. For it to be love in the first place it has to be equal, both people sharing and partaking equally. For the poster of the thread: unconditional love is when you first and foremost ACCEPT the individual for who they are as a human being, you ACCEPT their flaws, you do not WISH that they looked better/made more money/had a better job/bought you more gifts, you ACCEPT the limitations that their persona provides you with and you love them deeply because you simply want to, because you appreciate everything that they stand for.

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Good for you.

Not happenning with my wife or I. We didn't latch on to compromised situations. There is limit to the tolerance for flaws.

I'm sure if I didn't have the job I had, she would have said "hit the road jack." I wouldn't have blamed her. One of her favorite sayings is "my momma didn't raise some fool to live a life of poverty." Simple, she wouldn't have married me if I were broke or more overweight than I was or if I lacked etiquette or decorum. Alright, I speak for myself. I wouldn't have married her if she were not good looking, had a graduate education with top grades and were not a successful executive. First of all, we wouldn;t have dated each other if we didn't share the same moral values, religious ocnvictions and objectives in life.

In my household, we partake and contribute in different ways, and definitely not equal either in isolation or in aggregate. We don't start counting and squabbling about contribution. The whole is much larger than the sum of the parts. In my view, that stuff about equality as a condition precednt for love to occur is naivette.

posted February 11, 2013 04:14 PM            

I love Joni Mitchell's song A Case of You:

Part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time.

I think all true love has that effect, like a blood merger...it doesn't always make sense...it doesn't play by life's "rules" sometimes...it could be a synastry thing like planets locking together and never letting go no matter what.

As a Capricorn who thinks in terms of epochs and multiple lifetimes...the idea of eternal, indestructible love feels right to me. Though I admit that it's hard for me to justify the notion without feeling self-conscious. I probably sound naive...oh well.

posted February 11, 2013 05:09 PM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
^ No way, Ian. Her religion wouldn't allow it even if she stopped loving you.

But I have to say that love based on weight or wealth doesn't sound like love.

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You're right about the religion part.

You are free to opine on the other part, but I base my comments on reality. That's the way it is. Just *look* 5 pounds heavier and she freaks out to the wazoo. Why do you think I pound the gym constantly? For myself? Perhaps in a way, but most of it is to maintain the masculine performance that she demands. My weight now is the same weight I was 30 years ago.

posted February 11, 2013 05:46 PM            

I'll just assume you are feeling bad for now.

posted February 11, 2013 07:41 PM            

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
What is it? I always thought it meant you had endless tolerance for someone, until a few people who told me they loved me unconditionally ended up cutting me out of their lives because I ****** them off. So what is it? How do you show unconditional love while still respecting yourself?

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It can only be unconditional if you have zero love for yourself.

Otherwise the only way it might be possible is if you keep those you unconditionally love at a distance...which is possible, at least in theory, as loving someone doesn't mean being a doormat (granted, all too many people haven't figured that out yet).

posted February 11, 2013 08:04 PM            

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It's not practical. Unrealistic.

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It can only be unconditional if you have zero love for yourself.

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I agree.

I don't like the whole idea of it. Everything is a give&take.
It's a really negative thing for love to be unconditional - because then the object of your love falls under the impression they can do whatever the hell they want & they will still be loved.

It's kinda like when parents spoil their kids and turn them into selfish/self-centred adults.

posted February 11, 2013 08:09 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Good for you.

Not happenning with my wife or I. We didn't latch on to compromised situations. There is limit to the tolerance for flaws.

I'm sure if I didn't have the job I had, she would have said "hit the road jack." I wouldn't have blamed her. One of her favorite sayings is "my momma didn't raise some fool to live a life of poverty." Simple, she wouldn't have married me if I were broke or more overweight than I was or if I lacked etiquette or decorum. Alright, I speak for myself. I wouldn't have married her if she were not good looking, had a graduate education with top grades and were not a successful executive. First of all, we wouldn;t have dated each other if we didn't share the same moral values, religious ocnvictions and objectives in life.

In my household, we partake and contribute in different ways, and definitely not equal either in isolation or in aggregate. We don't start counting and squabbling about contribution. The whole is much larger than the sum of the parts. In my view, that stuff about equality as a condition precednt for love to occur is naivette.

All the same, my views haven't changed that it's for fantasy land.

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Good for you.

posted February 11, 2013 08:11 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Love for my children is different. I would give my physical heart or brain if one of my sons needs it. My wife and I would lay down my life without questions for our family.

I'm pretty sure my wife would leave me if I were to gain 50 pounds or become flat broke.

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posted February 11, 2013 08:50 PM            

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Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
Then it isn't unconditional love, that's material love. That's the whole point.

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posted February 11, 2013 08:52 PM            

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Originally posted by peregrine:
i think my dog loves me unconditionally even if i leave him every morning.

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posted February 11, 2013 09:10 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Which is precisely my point. I don't care for unconditional love. My view is that it is idealistic and utopian. It doesn't exist in my realm of reality.

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posted February 11, 2013 09:18 PM            

We don't ignore people's faults whom we unconditionally love, we don't turn into doormats... just because we "love" them... love should always feel empowering, if you are constantly playing an enabler role, or playing a blind "victim", it is no wonder when the greater love is so fleeting and elusive... distrust, and vain expectations (or vanities, for that matter) are not signs of love... in any capacity~ >.<;

hanna, if they squabble with you over petty things, and they find it so easy to dismiss a friendship, chances are they weren't firm or maybe even TRUE in their confessions of unconditional love. But, your heart and concern is surely the bigger here and you'll find many people who will appreciate this, and love you truly and unconditionally~ but be unconditionally loving too... forgive them, everyone comes to recognize the many kinds of love in different ways, you recognize it by being assertive and curious, and that will serve to inspire them, I would hope. <3

My friends have been the greatest examples of unconditional love in my life~ I know it exists, because of their undying support and the many knocks on the head they've given me over the years, (to deter me from wrongs and warn me when I'm being foolish), and... then having a child, surrendering to responsibility, having "love" evolve as a concept, a silly ideal, hopeless and passing emotion - into something physical, an incorruptible reality... that's really when it hits you... when you, yourself, become unconditionally loving of another...

I wouldn't sacrifice my self respect for anyone... I really don't know how you figure you'd be doing such anyway, in a dire circumstance... even the worst, most heinous and humiliating action, when done to protect someone you love, becomes something virtuous~

posted February 11, 2013 09:24 PM              

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
If I keep kicking my dogs, would I get unflinching devotion? No. They will eventually bite me. How is that unconditional?

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