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Author
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Topic: I have a rant.
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4498
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 09, 2013 02:11 AM
  
I met a guy at my college some years ago. We were "talking" and it flopped. At the time I was kind of ****** because I was second choice. Years later we re-connected and it flopped again. I let it go, I didn't say anything, and then on impulse tonight thought "You know what? I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to ask why." I figured why the hell not? It's been YEARS since I've seen him in person, and months since we've spoken. I don't really care that I haven't heard from him. I'm not heartbroken, I'm not ****** , I don't care. There have been a lot more attractive guys who've crossed my path since then. I'm okay. And I said that. What do I get? Not a sincere answer. Not even a bull answer. I get BLOCKED! Why?! I didn't go apeshit on him....He's a Taurus with Pisces moon, Mercury and Venus in Aries, and Mars in Gemini. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 2022
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted March 09, 2013 03:01 AM
So your not hung up on him at all? Thats good
The worst thing is not getting closure, it just grinds at you..
Its better to feel anger than remorse.
but OMG I was dating guy a guy in high school with
Pisces sun(aries cusp) pisces moon venus and mercury in aries mars in gemini. Close to your guy...
He was was the most gorgeous person in my school haha..
I was so captivated and intrigued but he was totally hot and cold. Like not being able to hang out or never texting me back. Im not even clingy but I felt that way with him.
Some rare days he would be totally into me the next week he was too busy..
I know why he did it, which hurt even more.. He just could not be honest with himself lol
our synastry was off the chart lol... and I hate him for making me so... thirsty... Its just humiliating.
I even asked him for a direct answer when I broke it off with him but he was still as vague and nonchalant as a pisces can be.. Than he tried to get romantic and I was like NOPE and he stopped having any contact with me and pretended I did not exist, blocked my number, facebook...
That was just irritating, I didn't go apeshit either thou because I was over it.. I think its that dudes pisces moon, they can't face confrontation or their own actions. So they run... and avoid the situation. Thats why they will always be alone.. Poor fishes.. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4498
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 09, 2013 03:17 AM
LOL "That's why they will always be alone" as you look off yonder in the distance."So your not hung up on him at all? Thats good
The worst thing is not getting closure, it just grinds at you..Its better to feel anger than remorse." Not at all! I'll even copy and paste what I said: So, I haven't heard from you for long time. And that's honestly okay and not why I'm writing you at all. But I decided to be bold and ask if the reason you stopped getting to know me was because of me. Was it because I didn't think that titty forward was funny? I'm just wondering. I'm sure this comes off as "Oh, that crazy girl Hanna" or some ******** , but I'm asking person to person. I hope you understand and reply honestly, if you choose to reply." I really just wanted to know for once. I wasn't THAT pushy was I?
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Xiiro
Moderator Posts: 1550
From: San Diego CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted March 09, 2013 03:23 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I don't really care that I haven't heard from him. I'm not heartbroken, I'm not ****** , I don't care. There have been a lot more attractive guys who've crossed my path since then. I'm okay. And I said that.
If this is what you said, I would have probably blocked you too. The best responses to genuine questions come, when they are posed in a why which doesn't insult the person you are asking. Telling him you don't really care, but you want to know sounds contradictory. Telling him the reason you don't care is because there have been plenty of better guys since then sounds hurtful. As if you have been secretly stewing over this in the far reaches of your psyche and now have decided to lash out. If that wasn't the part you mentioned in your contact, perhaps he is happily seeing someone and just not interested in opening lines of communication. Perhaps you say or do things which offend him and he is too much of a wuss to mention it. Maybe each time you meet and fall flat, that is his way of hinting that he isn't interested in maintaining a friendship. The possibilities are endless really and it will remain a mystery until you hear it from his own mouth. It's a Godsend in my opinion. I would never want to interact with someone who is so socially mutated. Either face the situation and be honest or politely bow out and end it with closure. =P
EDIT: Just read your paste. I don;t think there is anything wrong with that, but I am a fairly blatant/aggressive communicator. >shrug<
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4498
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 09, 2013 03:43 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Xiiro:
If this is what you said, I would have probably blocked you too. The best responses to genuine questions come, when they are posed in a why which doesn't insult the person you are asking. Telling him you don't really care, but you want to know sounds contradictory. Telling him the reason you don't care is because there have been plenty of better guys since then sounds hurtful. As if you have been secretly stewing over this in the far reaches of your psyche and now have decided to lash out. If that wasn't the part you mentioned in your contact, perhaps he is happily seeing someone and just not interested in opening lines of communication. Perhaps you say or do things which offend him and he is too much of a wuss to mention it. Maybe each time you meet and fall flat, that is his way of hinting that he isn't interested in maintaining a friendship. The possibilities are endless really and it will remain a mystery until you hear it from his own mouth. It's a Godsend in my opinion. I would never want to interact with someone who is so socially mutated. Either face the situation and be honest or politely bow out and end it with closure. =P
EDIT: Just read your paste. I don;t think there is anything wrong with that, but I am a fairly blatant/aggressive communicator. >shrug<
Right! I agree with you and I would never say something like what you quoted to someone directly. I simply told him I didn't care because I was trying to get across my detachment. I should have explained myself more thoroughly maybe? Maybe told him "Hey I've never asked anyone before and am randomly asking you now?" The first time he bowed out he was seeing someone and I was more the one pursuing him. This second time, he was definitely the initiator (texting wise) and would carry on the conversation after I was tired. Either way, you're right. I already knew we had different temperaments but I was looking for a date. He was looking for who knows. We just aren't meant to be in one another's life, lol. Not now anyway. I was just surprised he blocked me from that. As if I was harassing him or something when I gave him the option of not replying. I didn't get deleted, just blocked. Like... ohO pulling out the big guns there... IP: Logged |
Xiiro
Moderator Posts: 1550
From: San Diego CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted March 09, 2013 03:59 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Right! I agree with you and I would never say something like what you quoted to someone directly. I simply told him I didn't care because I was trying to get across my detachment. I should have explained myself more thoroughly maybe? Maybe told him "Hey I've never asked anyone before and am randomly asking you now?" The first time he bowed out he was seeing someone and I was more the one pursuing him. This second time, he was definitely the initiator (texting wise) and would carry on the conversation after I was tired. Either way, you're right. I already knew we had different temperaments but I was looking for a date. He was looking for who knows. We just aren't meant to be in one another's life, lol. Not now anyway. I was just surprised he blocked me from that. As if I was harassing him or something when I gave him the option of not replying. I didn't get deleted, just blocked. Like... ohO pulling out the big guns there...
I actually had a similar experience with a former member of LL. We had developed some flirtatious feelings so we took our conversation into Facebook PMs. Things were going well for days and then I said something that he took COMPLETELY out of context. He went from 0 to 1000 degrees in about 3 seconds and by the time I realized what happened he was brushing me off. I liked the guy so I made an effort to explain my self despite his rudeness, but he responded by blocking me. LOL The misunderstanding was completely harmless, but he seemed so excited to be heated for "being heated's" sake, that the actual details didn't matter. Ah well some people just like the power trip I think. And you never really know when someone's crazy is gonna pop. IP: Logged |
peregrine
unregistered
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posted March 09, 2013 04:10 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I met a guy at my college some years ago. We were "talking" and it flopped. At the time I was kind of ****** because I was second choice. Years later we re-connected and it flopped again. I let it go, I didn't say anything, and then on impulse tonight thought "You know what? I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to ask why." I figured why the hell not? It's been YEARS since I've seen him in person, and months since we've spoken. I don't really care that I haven't heard from him. I'm not heartbroken, I'm not ****** , I don't care. There have been a lot more attractive guys who've crossed my path since then. I'm okay. And I said that. What do I get? Not a sincere answer. Not even a bull answer. I get BLOCKED! Why?! I didn't go apeshit on him....He's a Taurus with Pisces moon, Mercury and Venus in Aries, and Mars in Gemini.
taureans never give closure. for on we do not like to talk about things and rehash them. we are stupid. recently a friend broke up with me. i said i understand. i didn't lol! but that's that! IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4498
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 09, 2013 12:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by peregrine:
taureans never give closure. for on we do not like to talk about things and rehash them. we are stupid. recently a friend broke up with me. i said i understand. i didn't lol! but that's that!
Well I can understand you not asking why... Taureans don't like admitting they're hurt just like their opposite Scorpio. And @Xiiro - "You never know when someone's crazy is gonna pop."  it. I put that on Facebook, lol! He's just weird. Him and the other Taurean I used to like! The second one gives me back rubs and lingers too long whenever I have pizza where he works. He wants to stay and chit chat and I imagine he thinks he's a sort of God among men because he knows I used to like him at one point too. He's having a little girl soon but sure, give me back rubs..... o_0? IP: Logged |
Xiiro
Moderator Posts: 1550
From: San Diego CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted March 09, 2013 06:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
He's just weird. Him and the other Taurean I used to like! The second one gives me back rubs and lingers too long whenever I have pizza where he works. He wants to stay and chit chat and I imagine he thinks he's a sort of God among men because he knows I used to like him at one point too. He's having a little girl soon but sure, give me back rubs..... o_0?
Not cute. In an ideal world it's fine, because Taurus experiences through sensuality and the line between inappropriately sexual and just making your friend feel good is flexible. In an ideal world, his rubbing your back is a completely platonic act of friendly affection. Sadly I have yet to meet an ideal Taurus. =) Taurus is something my Venus in Scorpio is learning to be cautious of. My Venus and Moon think they're great, but the rest of my personality is strictly "Do Not Want". The back rubs ARE good though. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 9511
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 09, 2013 07:04 PM
It's the Mutable Moon and Mars and Cardinal Merc and Venus that's making him an unpredictable Taurus.At least you werent too emotionally attatched and it seemed more of an 'experiment". I'd not give it much more thought and move right along. Young guys are more flighty than a woman with Venus in Aquarius! lol ;P Learn what you can from it and move on totally and completely. There's a better guy out there for you. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 9511
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 09, 2013 07:10 PM
If you can look at everyone you meet as someone who is mirroring something within you, it can really help you grow as an individual. You can't always find truth in it (them), usually at least a small nugget that you can take and use to grow from yourself. When you get perceptive enough you often dont have to waste your time with most of them, because you can see the repetitive family patterns and don't even need to go there with them (if you've learned the lesson by then and are able to discern enough...)hope that didnt sound too froo-froo, new age and you get my meaning. Don't waste your time on the duds girl. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4498
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 09, 2013 10:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by T:
If you can look at everyone you meet as someone who is mirroring something within you, it can really help you grow as an individual. You can't always find truth in it (them), usually at least a small nugget that you can take and use to grow from yourself. When you get perceptive enough you often dont have to waste your time with most of them, because you can see the repetitive family patterns and don't even need to go there with them (if you've learned the lesson by then and are able to discern enough...)hope that didnt sound too froo-froo, new age and you get my meaning. Don't waste your time on the duds girl.
Ah, T you're speaking my language.  I do see patterns in my friendships. Today I sat here and I thought "Why do I keep attracting people who make me feel like I'm not good enough?" and then I realized a lot of my self-talk is telling myself I'm not good enough and it clicked. I'm now trying to believe as much that I'm good enough and put as much energy into that as I did for the opposing belief. However, it is hard at first. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1922
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2013 06:13 AM
I have a potentially offensive question.....but I have to ask. How educated are these men? Not just this guy but also Sag guy..
HS level? Diploma? A Degree? MA/MPhi/PhD?
What's the level? In my experience men who cannot explain themselves and have a reasonable conversation or give a reasonable response to a reasonable question - can sometimes be "the mentally dull" type - who works in a very practical/hands-on area and does not use his higher functions much..
Just sayin' Again ^ I realise this may be offensive but as person who is highly cerebral and likes to *talk* and debate things... it is highly unlikely that I could have a fulfilling relationship with the average construction worker, for instance.
Maybe this is part of the problem hannarama.... IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 2022
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted March 10, 2013 06:25 AM
You're kidding right?
Some of the most educated and intelligent men I know are quite and awkward. They're enable to carry a conversation unless a common interest is fond.I think they would be called nerds by most IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1922
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2013 08:13 AM
Ha! I think you're the one who is kidding there my darling..
Right?IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1922
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2013 08:19 AM
quote:
most educated and intelligent men I know are quite and awkward.
pfffffffffffffffffffft!!!! R O F L.
And how many do you know? first of all - that is a very typical misconception..... so i'm not convinced that you are speaking from experience, rather than restating things you've heard said previously.... secondly - I was not referring to sheldon-like geniuses in physics... who may indeed be quite awkward. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1922
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2013 08:24 AM
Hannarama - this is purely based on the things you have mentioned here about these guys. Obviously I do not know them personally or what your relationship with them was like overall. But from the back and forth messages between you (with the sag guy) - or in this case the lack of reply + blocking you... I am honestly wondering whether you are simply too intelligent and mentally active for them... or conversely - whether they are too dull and unable to *think* and have a proper conversation..?IP: Logged |
peregrine
unregistered
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posted March 10, 2013 08:24 AM
we taureans aren't exactly the most cerebral ya know! what say you it's the merc-venus conjunction making him more merc libra and wanting to keep the peace? i do not like peace.  but then i have merc conj venus too. bit wide. IP: Logged |
peregrine
unregistered
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posted March 10, 2013 08:26 AM
...IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1922
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted March 10, 2013 08:38 AM
quote:
taureans aren't exactly the most cerebral ya know!
Well that's totally boring ^^. But you're not boring or mentally-lazy. You were extra funny on that thread LOL Still in stitches over that haha IP: Logged |
peregrine
unregistered
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posted March 10, 2013 08:56 AM
do u own uggs??
IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 2022
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted March 10, 2013 12:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
pfffffffffffffffffffft!!!! R O F L.
And how many do you know?first of all - that is a very typical misconception..... so i'm not convinced that you are speaking from experience, rather than restating things you've heard said previously.... secondly - I was not referring to sheldon-like geniuses in physics... who may indeed be quite awkward.
This is not bs, is just common knowledge.
I've known a lot, these guys are pretty common amongst the scholarly.
Also My school is very close science institution, I see nerds... Everywhere..
Besides guys are not as talkative as women in general....
My point was just because someone is quite and reserved does not mean they're not cerebral.
You're literally speaking from what you find ideal in a guy, not reality.
This is even seen in astrology... lol
Caps are an example. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4498
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 10, 2013 02:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
I have a potentially offensive question.....but I have to ask. How educated are these men? Not just this guy but also Sag guy..
HS level? Diploma? A Degree? MA/MPhi/PhD?
What's the level? In my experience men who cannot explain themselves and have a reasonable conversation or give a reasonable response to a reasonable question - can sometimes be "the mentally dull" type - who works in a very practical/hands-on area and does not use his higher functions much..
Just sayin' Again ^ I realise this may be offensive but as person who is highly cerebral and likes to *talk* and debate things... it is highly unlikely that I could have a fulfilling relationship with the average construction worker, for instance.
Maybe this is part of the problem hannarama....
The Sag guy is getting his PhD in Cognitive Psychology, and the Taurus graduated with a Bachelor's in International Affairs I believe. I'm not sure if that's his exact major but he did graduate. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4498
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 10, 2013 02:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Hannarama - this is purely based on the things you have mentioned here about these guys. Obviously I do not know them personally or what your relationship with them was like overall. But from the back and forth messages between you (with the sag guy) - or in this case the lack of reply + blocking you... I am honestly wondering whether you are simply too intelligent and mentally active for them... or conversely - whether they are too dull and unable to *think* and have a proper conversation..?
I don't think it's a matter of intelligence as it is maturity. I'm not your light hearted, ditzy, normal 20-something really, but I'm not above average either. I just have a way different mindset about relationships than most guys my age in that I believe in communication, lol. Not games or avoidance. I'm not trying to sound all preachy or anything but the majority of my experience have been with those kind of guys. Yes, I've wondered "Well, there has to be something about me that attracts them into my life or that I recognize and am attracted to." I met a Gemini with an Aries moon and him and I get along quite well. He's 32, and has traveled the world, supports himself, so I'm sure that helps. Come to think of it my guy friend who always liked me (but treated me as a second choice) was an Aries with a Gemini moon. I quite like those Aries/Gemini people a lot better than my DSC sign Sags (no offense to Sags. They are just too intense for me, the ones I have met in person.) IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4498
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted March 10, 2013 02:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by peregrine:
we taureans aren't exactly the most cerebral ya know! what say you it's the merc-venus conjunction making him more merc libra and wanting to keep the peace? i do not like peace. but then i have merc conj venus too. bit wide.
I have Mercury/Venus conjunction and in the same signs. I can still be honest without being hurtful. Then again he's a wuss and can't respond so maybe he doesn't have that ability.
IP: Logged |
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