posted March 29, 2013 08:26 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
Also - any emotionally mature woman would like it if her SO had a good relationship with his family.
Only a person who has low self esteem and needs constant attention would feel threatened by your mother.

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posted March 29, 2013 08:57 PM            

That's an extreme case. About anything becomes absurd if taken to an extreme. As Stawr just shared:

posted March 30, 2013 02:11 AM            

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Whenever I miscarried his babies, including twins;
he ran off to his mommy.
I got absolutely no support or sympathy.

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posted March 30, 2013 02:12 AM            

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find it contradictory that so many people can talk about loving all mankind and not being selfish on one hand but then on the other talk about as if our significant other is the only one who really matters in the end (which is both selfish and contradictory to viewing others with love

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posted March 30, 2013 06:27 PM            

My Virgo I have been messing with for over 2 years now will be 46 in September, I just turned 51.

I am in Texas he in Ohio, he came down for a nursing contract, didnt last the 3 years he committed cause he missed home too much.

So, back he went.

We planned to keep a long distance relationship, but he has not honered what he has said.

It's been a year nearly since we have seen eachother, but communicate often.

I would not have asked him to stay and supported his decision entirely.

He told me recently his mom will always be no. 1.

This man has never had a mortgage, never been married, lived with his mom his whole life except a couple years in the Navy and a couple in Texas.

He has not worked as a nurse, or anything else since he has been home cept for a 10 week stint, what was at a hospital 6 minutes from his mom's house. If he doesnt get something in nursing soon, nobody will hire him for being out of the field too long...cause he has been taking care of "mom's" place. Now she has some minor health problems, another excuse.

He has two brothers who are fully capable of helping their mom, but my Virgo is always the one.

My point, is, I far, far more respect a man who has made his own way, outside of the nest.

I am finding his decisions less and less attractive.

A man with experience, seen things, had relatinships (I was his first in 20 years.)

A man definately treats his woman like he treats his mother, but it is often a love/hate thing, but a man cant be "married" to his mom still and have a woman in his life.

The mother is the frist woman in a man's life, his first attraction and he must grow and experience other woman to be a "whole" man.

The Virgo is a good man, but he just cant break away and she is beginning to drive him crazy.

In retrospect, I never would have gone there if I hadn't fell in love.

I agree, young women want a self sufficient man who is close to his family but has a life of his own.

aquaguy, what if you meet an astounding woman? Where will you take her when she wants to go to your place?

I get the vibe you, perpahs have not met anybody due to your mom's energy around you.

A very gifted Persian palm reader at work, looked at a pic of the Virgo and said he has another woman, there is someone else...

I was astounded then I almost screamed, "HIS MOTHER!"

Energetically it's just like having a woman already in your life, so you may come off as unavailable because there is truely another woman in your life.

I would look for a place with a mother in law cottage (what I am going to do with my 21yr old codependent daughter) and put her in there and take off and do travel nursing, just to get away.

If you could find such an arrangement, it would be good for you and your mom.

Comes a time when a man has to be a man, your mom wont be around for ever and by the time she is gone......

blessins!!!

posted March 30, 2013 11:30 PM            

I definitely wasn't thinking of you.

posted March 31, 2013 12:20 AM            

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I have more than one guess on the reason for why it's so common

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posted March 31, 2013 01:31 AM            

That's one guess. It would be similar to what religious children did when I was growing up, where they were supposed to love everyone so when they wanted to be cruel or bully someone they'd literally say something like, "I love you as a brother in Christ, but hate you as a person." (That's the boys anyway, girls just shunned so were less compelled to be forced to explain their obnoxious behavior when it just results in hurt feelings instead of a bloody nose.) Of course as they got older they learned to be sneakier about it, and perhaps something similar is going on here as well: that is, they've been trained to be "good" (as that makes them easy to control, though some have learned to exploit that themselves and "do good with a hidden price tag"), and so to please society and/or God/dess they make noises about loving everyone while hypocritically being supremely selfish (which includes spouses treating each other like property and loathe to share, even with the people who gave birth to said spouse), not all that different from people who preach the Golden Rule, we're all sinners, etc while persecuting & scapegoating a minority or someone of a nationality or race not liked, etc.

IOW, it would be like that joke of the woman who rudely rides a guy's bumper and then honks and yells when he slows for a yellow light instead of racing through it and then gets arrested for grand theft auto as the cop who saw it also saw the "What would Jesus Do?" and "Follow me to Sunday School" signs on her bumper and determined she must've stolen the car. This joke makes many laugh because it reminds many people of many other people (such as "Sunday morning Christians," aka, "Once-a-weekers" that leave plenty, Christian and otherwise, disgruntled). So in this case one makes meaningless noises about selflessness and loving all while practicing a very selfish love.

I certainly can't help but notice how many people who promote their own enlightenment and freedom from ego are some of the biggest egomaniacs ever (though perhaps that's not so much hypocrisy as delusions brought on by their egomania, but it's so ironic to see major egomaniacs brag about how they're free of ego!).