posted April 17, 2013 12:22 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by AcousticGod:
Aquaguy,

It's hard for me to abandon my idea that your views are based on where you live when you say the things you've said here. You've never seen a young women raised to respect men? That means that all of their fathers are d-bags or else absent...or do you think that girls that have fathers they respect still have no respect towards men?

I personally would see it as difficult to indoctrinate a girl with the idea that she's superior to men, and that all men are evil in some way when there's a man in the house that is a loved member of the family. If you've never seen a family with respected male in it, you certainly aren't seeing everything available.

---

posted April 17, 2013 12:51 PM            

quote:

---

its the fact that they never say anything on the matter.

---

Actions speak louder than words.

Here's what you're telling me about how girls are raised:

Men don't all act the same,

Therefore all men act exactly the same.

It doesn't work. There's no logic to it. Women can see that. They know that there are decent men, and that there are indecent men.

posted April 17, 2013 02:21 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Most boys are explicitly taught to respect women and how to act around them while girls are told to be wary of all men and think of them as nothing but horndogs.

---

It's good for men to mind women's personal boundaries and be sensitive to their fears.

It's good for women to understand men as well, and part of that understanding should entail the fact that men usually make sex a greater priority than women do.

Women who aren't taught this formally learn it through experience. Men who aren't taught also learn through experience, that if they want a woman, they have to allow that she has emotional needs.

posted April 17, 2013 02:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by AcousticGod:
The one constant is that a woman just doesn't know how a man will be until the man demonstrates his character over time.

---

posted April 17, 2013 07:35 PM            

quote:

---

I have literally seen guys go up to women they dont know
and grap their boobs, butts,and put their hands up their skirts and the women like
it because the guy is good looking.

---

After you talked about knowing how all these parents are coaching their children for a future of "feminista dominance" or whatever, which had to be entirely made up, I can't take this seriously. Especially since I never, ever saw anything like that happen.

posted April 17, 2013 08:36 PM            

I have read a lot of really educated and wise advise offered, but he is locked into his view because that is where his experiences have lead him. Aquarians are Fixed Air, nobody is going to magically change his mind. If he chooses to read into things in a specific way then life will either support that experience or teach him otherwise.

posted April 18, 2013 04:12 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Xiiro:
I wonder why most of these threads get derailed, obsessing about aquaguy's gender experiences? It's becoming so hot a topic it seems to bleed from thread to thread without ever coming to a head or healing over. Can we stop picking at this zit, move on to something else and let aquaguy just figure it out on his own (like everyone else in the world)?

I have read a lot of really educated and wise advise offered, but he is locked into his view because that is where his experiences have lead him. Aquarians are Fixed Air, nobody is going to magically change his mind. If he chooses to read into things in a specific way then life will either support that experience or teach him otherwise.

---

You are right.

Aquaguy, every girl and daughter in the world is taken on to her mother's knee, whereupon she is instructed that should she ever meet a man under the pseudonym of Aquaguy91, she should immediately and forthwith make her displeasure at his very existence known. Furthermore she is taught that she may behave in a manner countenance to how 'Aquaguy91' expects her to behave, because she is allowed to live her own life, and make her own choices, she isn't expected to follow a preset list of commands and do exactly as 'Aquaguy91' expects of her. Though she has not met 'Aquaguy91' yet, she will know him upon, sight, touch, hearing, or reading. Every woman in the world has been taught to dislike you.

Except that can't be true can it? You obviously have a women who do like you. They may not be interested in you romantically, but you do have women who like you.
*Shrug* Maybe a hundred people or so are wrong, compared to one person. Call me illogical, but if 100 people say 2+2 is 4, I am inclined to believe they may be on to something.

posted April 18, 2013 08:25 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Well its relates to what i'm talking about. I do not like the whole dynamic where parents raise their sons to respect girls while they raise their daughters to disrespect boys/men and think badly of them. I was raised to respect girls and do all kinds of crap for them and its been the same for all the guys I know. But these same parents tell their daughters to be suspicious of men and teach them that men are guilty until proven innocent Imo that is messed up.

---

Parents want their girl to find a guy, even today many believe her ultimate purpose is to breed, and for that she's to marry. Women who don't get the guilt trip (granted guys get hit with it, too, though usually not until they're in their 30s as they're expected to "sew their wild oats" first as well as see to other obligations). Even teens are supposed to date, especially girls, otherwise there's something "wrong" with them, because that's their purpose, to give themselves to a guy (and as even one fire and brimstone preacher who advocated beating kids who didn't conform to gender or might be gay said girls were required to dress up, be attractive, be beautiful, and he sounds typical of the South to me, at least the rural Bible Belt regions). Many women believe it and have since they were little, and many parents teach that lesson (though not always consciously, it's more absorbed and enforced by parents & peers without much lucid thought about it, “it's just the way it is”).

And it's HER fault how a guy acts, not the guy's fault. Just like the dress code that monitors what girls wear but not boys. Like how Stewart is a "Trampire" while a man who is older, married, and with children is held blameless for cheating, because he's a guy (that is, SHE is evil, not him). Just like how men say "she led me on" or "is a tease" and women don't hate a guy she wants because he chose someone else over her, she hates the female, it's all her fault, not his. Plenty of romances and chick flicks have that same message, too (and even many Disney shows like Hannah Montana where the primary villains are typically Amber & Ashley, or Wizards of Waverly Place where the truly villainous characters are almost always female). Females, especially in school, don't think guys are evil, they think other girls are, primarily because she's afraid the other girls will steal the guy she's into.

Here, an example is this award-winning song and was extremely popular among teen & tween girls and illustrates what I just said about females seeing other females as evil (rather than guys) so well:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuNIsY6JdUw

And even when he's cruel or predatory it's still her fault (says society, and women even more likely to say it than men) more often than not. Even here on LL we get gems of "wisdom" like this:

quote:

---

excerpt from a book written in 1928

""A woman came to me in deep distress. The man she loved had left her for other women, and said he never intended to marry her. She was torn with jealousy and resentment and said she hoped he would suffer as he had made her suffer: and added, "How could he leave me when l loved him so much?"

I replied "You are not loving that man, you are hating him, " and added "You can never receive what you have never given. Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love. Perfect yourself on this man. Give him a perfect, unselfish love, demanding nothing in return, do not criticise or condemn, and bless him wherever he is."

She replied, "No, l won't bless him unless l know where he is!!"

"Well" l said "that is not real love"

"When you send out real love, real love will return to you, either from this man or his equivalent, for if this man is not the divine selection, you will not want him. As you are one with God, you are one with the love which belongs to you by divine right".

"When you are no longer disturbed by his cruelty, he will cease to be cruel, as you are attracting it through your own emotions."

---

See, his actions, even when she's not with him, are STILL her fault, not his...just like most male abusers say, that she (or a child) "makes" him violent and crazy, that is it's his victims fault, he can't control himself, he's just a little baby emotionally who can't control his impulses and emotions so the oversized baby has to be protected from the woman rather than the woman protected from the man and anything he does is HER fault because SHE is the one with all the power (though why men are allowed any rights when they're so pathetic is beyond me, I mean if you THINK about it that's the implications, they're children when it comes to impulse control and so therefore need to be denied rights as if they were children, at least if the COMMON social theory is true that it's all HER fault). That drivel I just quoted goes so far as to say it's her very attitude that controls HIS behavior, so the message there is, once again, not that all men are evil, and that even the men who are evil are because the woman deserved it as she wasn't loving enough. (There are plenty of female abusers as well, many of whom say you deserved it, but I haven't heard of many who asked, "Why do you make me do this?")

When I was 13 I walked home alone with 2 boys and the town was in an uproar. I asked the boys if they got in trouble, and nope. If they admit to having sex it's not uncommon to hear of parents giving their sons rubbers (I dare say that is FAR more likely than the schools doing it, and even when the rare school do it the kids still have to ask), but girls don't get that reaction. Heck, plenty of jokes play on that idea, like the boy who tells his dad he had sex and the dad is all proud until the boy asks when does his butt stop hurting.