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Author Topic:   How do you deal with commitment phobia?
Doux Rêve
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Posts: 3147
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Registered: Dec 2010

posted April 26, 2013 04:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
For what it is worth, I am truly sorry.

Thank you..

quote:
I have experience with a fearful-avoidant partner. I freely admit that it makes me sad, that the major thing keeping her from me, is her. I know it is a long road, not well lit, and full of dangers and ghosts from the past. But if the day ever comes when she reaches the end, I will be happy that she has worked through it to the point where she can find someone to have a relationship with.

I'm sorry for your friend and what you've been through. I hope she'll be able to deal with her issues and have a happy life.

quote:
Apparently I am fearful-avoidant however, my childhood was not bad by any means. I would have thought I would fit in closer to Preoccupied and dismissive mix. The last 2 years I have made a lot of progress towards self healing. I wish you the best.

Glad to hear that you've been making progress, keep it up! And thank you very much, I wish you the best, too. I'm sure you're on the right path and will get there eventually. ~

quote:
Originally posted by freebrainstorms:
thank you for this thread! <3 This is something that I am 100% struggling with right now, and I'm going to keep this thread bookmarked and try to read it everyday to give myself courage with all your lovely words. I'm sooo there with you Doux Reve, minus some of the childhood stuff it seems but I am also terrified of intimacy/commitment. I feel way too strongly to let myself loose myself in someone else, I just can't be broken again.

much love and i'll be thinking of you as i try to work through my own stuff.


Oh, wow, that's encouraging!
Glad to see I'm not alone in my troubles. Sorry you're struggling too, though. It's hard.
Thank you for the kind words. I am here if you want to talk about it, just shoot me an email if you like (you can find it in the Astrology for Beginners Forum).
Keep the faith! ~ You'll get through this, just don't give up.


quote:
Originally posted by meissieri:
Glad you're trying to deal, despite the anxiety. I know the feeling of wanting security *sigh* It looks so easy for everyone else, right?

Thank you. And yes! That's exactly how it seems.

quote:
That's how it goes, doesn't it? You block it all out to make sure you can make it through...
(Interesting, Pluto is retrograde right now. Digs up anything repressed. Could be a good moment to deal with it.)

Yes. And, very good point.. it's time to look inside and deal with stuff. Or try to!

quote:
That just sucks. At first, it can be such a good way to cope, being all independent, but it's tough ending up alone when you don't want to be. It's like you have to learn how to take care of that other part of you. Stuff that other people got was what you had to fight for to get.

Exactly! You're very good with words. =)

quote:
But that's the beauty of astrology. You can work those issues out from a more detached point of view. The chart lays it out and you fill in the rest.

Just dealing and trying to grasp what happened to you is very strong alone!


Right. Takes courage to face early trauma, really. It's a bit irrational but seems legitimate when you're actually going through it. It's like you know they're just ghosts hiding in your subconsciousness, but still.. they seem so real. And scary. Sigh.

Thank you, for the support, again!
It makes me feel a bit better.

~

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meissieri
Knowflake

Posts: 184
From: The Netherlands
Registered: Feb 2013

posted May 03, 2013 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meissieri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It really does. Like ghosts, yes, exactly. It's like they're coming for you. *shudders*

Are you doing better right now (I know it's been a week already)? I'm glad it did make you feel better.

Maybe it feels that way, but that's only because it's such a change. You go from one extreme to the other. It's stuff that you don't deal with every day and suddenly you have to. That's tough. If it's any kind of comfort, at least you've chosen to work on it yourself. Gives you a little bit of control. It's better than keeping it repressed until you're forced to deal.

quote:
Exactly! You're very good with words. =)

Thanks. <3 After a recent argument, this is just what I needed.

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Doux Rêve
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Posts: 3147
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted May 03, 2013 05:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am feeling better, yes.
Thank you for your concern. <3

I can't really deal with it individually, though - someone has to trigger the feelings so I can work on them.. But I'm okay, for now! Taking it one day at a time. =)

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