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Author
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Topic: Women Who Don't Want Marriage
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Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2562
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 03:24 PM
  
Lately I've been feeling more and more like permanent cohabitation should be the goal of a relationship rather than marriage.But I'm told this is an attitude more prevalent among men than women. Are there any women here who are leaning in this direction as well? IP: Logged |
11nahyt
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: the future
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 03:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Lately I've been feeling more and more like permanent cohabitation should be the goal of a relationship rather than marriage.But I'm told this is an attitude more prevalent among men than women. Are there any women here who are leaning in this direction as well?
Me. Ive never ever believed in marriage. I think I it's uneccesary. I just dont see the point.why not just live happily ever after with your partner, without the need of an expensive party (wedding), and a piece of paper that says you're together lol. Plus,marriage comes with certain expectations for many people. And I will not subject myself to that loll
IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 1517
From: Saturn
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 03:37 PM
Present!
------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 4033
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 25, 2013 04:09 PM
Actually, I see a lot of women who don't want to get married.A lot. Maybe even more than men. IP: Logged |
jellyfishtry
Knowflake Posts: 450
From: LaLa land
Registered: Apr 2013
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posted June 25, 2013 04:10 PM
now it is true that being in a 'monogamy' without the need for papers is the way you know you're in a loving relationship (how did they get 'married' a few thousand or even a few 100's of years ago without all the paper work)but sometimes people get 'married' officially for a whole slate of reasons, if they're mixed for easy quick access to an extra citizenship, in some places taxes are less for married couples, while some gov'ts subsidize some of the living expenses of people once they get married.... and many other things like that, that the couple won't get if they are simply in a loving relationship without the 'paper work'....
so hence why some people get married 'officially'.
IP: Logged |
7thGuardian
Knowflake Posts: 952
From: Transylvania
Registered: May 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 05:05 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0IEeMJy3VI ^^IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 2519
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 25, 2013 06:17 PM
What can happen is that one partner is injured, sick, etc, and you can't learn anything because you're not family in the eyes of the law, just roomies. If you want to learn anything you have to go through family. And if family doesn't like you they can cut you out completely, take anything considered belonging to your partner as it's not shared as you were never married, and erase all evidence that you'd even been together. Of course this is much more likely to happen in the case of gay partners than straight but nevertheless it would still be heartbreaking and added frustration and powerlessness on top of that. Then of course are the lesser things such as sharing in retirement, bennies, etc, and that's assuming there are no children involved. It can also complicated trying to get a lease or buying a house together. (However, I've heard just filing taxes together can accidentally marry you in the eyes of the law, that is if you're of opposite genders.  ) Of course I'm an air & fire sign so it makes sense I care more about what I just shared than the silly rituals involved.  IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 2519
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 25, 2013 06:21 PM
But I think if I actually had a marriage ceremony I'd want my silly rituals to be that of a Wiccan handfasting (despite that I'm not Wiccan) and would seem more like a hippie gathering with all involved (and if throwing in something extreme than a naked guy in an animal mask dancing around and clapping to represent the God as I saw helping celebrate one Wiccan handfasting). Hmph, I'm gonna bring up the topic of dream weddings with my Aquarian BFF, this should be good!  IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 1517
From: Saturn
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 06:34 PM
As far as I know there is another solution when it comes to access in case of a hospital stay but I don't remeber the details. You just need a lawyer and some cash I guess. I would totally go for if if I were in a long-term relationship.------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
11nahyt
Knowflake Posts: 818
From: the future
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 06:35 PM
LOL! Wow @pixie. A bizzare/weird wedding ceremony sounds awesome. I too wouldnt want a "normal" traditional ceremony either..They should make a show called something like "bizzare weddings" or "extreme weddings". I'd totally tune in.. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 2519
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 25, 2013 06:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
As far as I know there is another solution when it comes to access in case of a hospital stay but I don't remeber the details. You just need a lawyer and some cash I guess. I would totally go for if if I were in a long-term relationship.
Yeah, but sometimes hospitals ignore those, at least if you're gay. Of course they get sued after and probably settle out of court, but it's one hassle best avoided in the first place, and just one of the problems of not formalizing a partnership when 2 people get that close. IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 1517
From: Saturn
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 06:44 PM
Screw them  ------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 2519
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 25, 2013 07:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Screw them
You might be the one who felt screwed if this was you:
http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/jun/25/woman-sues-miami-hospital-after-being-denied- visit/ quote:
The family vacation cruise that Janice Langbehn, her partner Lisa Marie Pond and three of their four children set out to take in February 2007 was designed to be a celebration of the lesbian couple's 18 years together.But when Pond suffered a massive stroke onboard before the ship left port and was rushed to Jackson Memorial Hospital, administrators refused to let Langbehn into the Pond's hospital room. A social worker told them they were in an "anti-gay city and state." Langbehn filed a federal lawsuit Wednesday charging the hospital with negligence and "anti-gay animus" in refusing to recognize her and the children as Pond's family, even after a power of attorney was faxed to the hospital within an hour of their arrival
quote:
Pond, 39, was pronounced dead of a brain aneurysm about 18 hours after being admitted to Jackson's Ryder Trauma Center. Langbehn said she was allowed in to see her partner only for about five minutes, as a priest gave Pond the last rites."I never thought almost 20 years of love and family could be disregarded in an instant," said Langbehn, a social worker who lives with her children in Lacey, Wash
quote:
Jackson officials declined to comment, except to say that the hospital follows state and federal laws on patient privacy that can forbid releasing health information to those outside the patient's immediate family.
And it's even worse if the partner's family also doesn't want the other included. Of course these laws and such originally came about because of extreme racism and should just be scrapped, IMO, simply registering who is approved, conditions, etc, but too many people are control freaks and/or bigoted who wish to keep certain conditions in place to encourage/promote and discourage/demean certain living arrangements. And that means it's not going to change any time soon. IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 1517
From: Saturn
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 07:16 PM
This is just sick.------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
mockingbird
Knowflake Posts: 1801
From:
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted June 25, 2013 08:01 PM
The legal stuff detailed by Pixie, for me, is a good reason to get married to a life partner.But I'm coming to this as someone who had a $150 ceremony with just my husband and children, carried out by an old hippie couple that ran a bed and breakfast in the mountains.
We were the only people really impacted our marriage, so pooh on everyone else  More power to you if you don't want to, though.
Just be sure to have all your legal t's crossed and i's dotted, though, if you want to build a life with someone without that paper back-up.
------------------
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Please excuse all outrageous typos and confusing auto-corrects. IP: Logged |
mockingbird
Knowflake Posts: 1801
From:
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted June 25, 2013 08:03 PM
Re: the other posts: I cannot WAIT for the SCOTUS's ruling tomorrow or Thursday.I have a quite a few dear friends who need this to fall in their favor for the protection of their families. ------------------
If I've included this sig, it's because I'm posting from a mobile device.
Please excuse all outrageous typos and confusing auto-corrects. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 2735
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted June 26, 2013 02:41 AM
Marriage is a dead institution...I'm actually really shocked my aqua friend thinks about marriage often. She's always had strange and progressive political beliefs . She does have venus in pisces exactly on her Dsc. IP: Logged |
mockingbird
Knowflake Posts: 1801
From:
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted June 26, 2013 06:42 AM
I'm friends with quite a few lesbians with children who would disagree, at least on purely practical grounds.------------------
If I've included this sig, it's because I'm posting from a mobile device.
Please excuse all outrageous typos and confusing auto-corrects. IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2562
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted June 26, 2013 03:43 PM
I live in Canada and the government makes you file joint taxes after cohabitating for 3 years.The only benefits married couples have are property benefits and this can be handled with a will or changing around your life insurance benefactor. Still don't see the point of the $28,000 party. IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2562
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted June 26, 2013 03:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by jellyfishtry:
now it is true that being in a 'monogamy' without the need for papers is the way you know you're in a loving relationship (how did they get 'married' a few thousand or even a few 100's of years ago without all the paper work)but sometimes people get 'married' officially for a whole slate of reasons, if they're mixed for easy quick access to an extra citizenship, in some places taxes are less for married couples, while some gov'ts subsidize some of the living expenses of people once they get married.... and many other things like that, that the couple won't get if they are simply in a loving relationship without the 'paper work'....
so hence why some people get married 'officially'.
I agree, I feel like monogamy is the true commitment.
IP: Logged |
mockingbird
Knowflake Posts: 1801
From:
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted June 26, 2013 05:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
I live in Canada and the government makes you file joint taxes after cohabitating for 3 years.The only benefits married couples have are property benefits and this can be handled with a will or changing around your life insurance benefactor. Still don't see the point of the $28,000 party.
Totally.
The conversation changes by country. I have a Swedish friend and an American friend that have been together for years (in the US) but not married.
They joke that they're "Swedish married" because "back home" there's like no point. ------------------
If I've included this sig, it's because I'm posting from a mobile device.
Please excuse all outrageous typos and confusing auto-corrects. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2075
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted June 26, 2013 07:54 PM
I am not interested in either marriage or permanent cohabitation. The words "permanent cohabitation" are making me feel sick right now - just reading them lol IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2562
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted June 27, 2013 09:07 AM
The truth is that marriage just sucks for women.Our pay goes down: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2296375/Wome n-wait-thirties-married-earn-money-men-wed-YOUNGER-successful.html We gain weight: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/44226744/ns/health-behavior/ t/women-gain-weight-after-marriage-men-after-divorce/#.Ucw4QjusjTo and the men, comfortable and secure now that they've "put a ring on it" start doing less housework!: http://webcenters.netscape.compuserve.com/love/package.jsp?name=fte/boyfriend/boyfriend No wonder we are less happy being married than men and less likely to want to do it again: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/his-hers-marriage_b_3129269.html Women have been sold a pack of lies: that we need to have this big party in our names in order to be "special," "chosen," "fulfilled"...
The truth is, if you're not having kids, as a woman you should practically be allergic to marriage.
IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 1517
From: Saturn
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted June 27, 2013 09:16 AM
quote:
Women have been sold a pack of lies: that we need to have this big party in our names in order to be "special," "chosen," "fulfilled"...
 ------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2562
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted June 27, 2013 09:22 AM
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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