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Author
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Topic: How do you break the habit of liking a.holes?
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 44473
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 05, 2013 11:15 AM
  
What I am saying, in a word, is that once you beat your own hook-ins with the person, you can beat them down in 5 minutes, in a nice way, too.
It is your own resonance with them that makes the problem. If it is a truly evil person like the Mal Narc, they will go onto someone else. If it is just a normal person, you handled the situation well and told them you were not interested, in a nice way. Do you guys understand what I mean?
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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Jessica2407
Knowflake Posts: 3265
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 11:31 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Jessica2407:
[b]I don't believe a woman can control how a man perceives her. This is not within her control neither can a guy control how a woman perceives him.If this is the case,I only find one word to describe it - manipulation.Perception in itself is a very subjective thing,it is influenced by past experiences,parental upbringing,past references etc. Perception exists in the mind only. A woman can act very lady-like towards a guy and the latter believes she is the Virgin Mary,doesn't make it true. Acting lady-like doesn't make you a lady. A guy can act like a gentleman ,be very nice and considerate towards women but deep down is another pathetic jerk. Just saying.
I disagree in MOST cases. There are some guys who are pure animals but I think it is rare.I think that many woman have a hatred of men and when a guy approaches they act like they tasted gruel.
I like men and I am flattered if a man thinks I am attractive. I let him know I appreciate it and that I respect him as a person by what I say and my body language etc but I let it be known I am not interested if I am not. I think the woman is wrong if she goes"Ewwww, you are gross" in mannerisms or actions. I think that is disrespectful to the guy. I think a smart woman can send 95% of the guys away with their ego intact and think you are a cool person. If a person has a problem with a gender, the chart will show it. I have a very well aspected Sun. That is why I have this kind of wisdom in THIS area, not all areas. I have many areas where I have little wisdom  [/B][/QUOTE] Am sure you have wisdom in this area Ami, although my post wasn't about how wise women are or how wise men are towards women or about hatred and discrimination based on gender. So am not sure to what exactly you are disagreeing with. And guys ARE animals. We all are. Homo Sapiens, so we are called. Call it wise, social, evolved, whatever you want, we are still going to be primates with basic instincts. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 44473
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 05, 2013 11:34 AM
I think you CAN control most people to treat you respectfully IF you treat them respectfully and with dignity and honor.There are about 15% exceptions in both men and woman, I think. These people you have to beat down if they harass you. They are the truly evil people and it does exist. However, you can learn to beat them down in a way that you retain your own dignity but still get rid of them ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Jessica2407
Knowflake Posts: 3265
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 11:42 AM
Still not getting it.You don't have to CONTROL anything. Someone treats you like cr@p, you leave. Someone makes you feel like you are some dumb person born from yesterday's rain, you leave. You remain true to yourself that's it. Control is manipulation, control is wrong. That was my point. While trying to control how others are seeing you, you lose focus on who you really are. If being goofy is taken as a sign of ''am so into you'' by someone, does it mean that you should stop being goofy? IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 44473
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 05, 2013 11:50 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
Still not getting it.You don't have to CONTROL anything. Someone treats you like cr@p, you leave. Someone makes you feel like you are some dumb person born from yesterday's rain, you leave. You remain true to yourself that's it. Control is manipulation, control is wrong. That was my point. While trying to control how others are seeing you, you lose focus on who you really are. If being goofy is taken as a sign of ''am so into you'' by someone, does it mean that you should stop being goofy?
Well, take a guy who hits on me that I think is icky. I can treat him badly or I can treat him with dignity and it is a win/win. Take a woman who harasses me and won't stop, I have to beat her down so she knows not to bother me again. Maybe, we are talking about the same thing in different words, Jessica. ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 7016
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 11:51 AM
Ami,
I agree 100%. I have had some girls be extremely rude to me for making the mistake of simply saying hello. One was soo rude to me that it sent me into a rage and I told her exactly what I thought of her. I unleashed my 3rd house mars on her and she had the audacity to say " Ugh you are a pig just like the rest of your gender, you have no respect for women". She said this after ripping my feelings and ego to shreds and then expects me to respect her! Forget that, respect is a two way street.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 7016
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 12:07 PM
When I said a woman can control how guys perceive her she can control whether she is an easy lay or not. As kerosene said most guys categorize women into one of two groups, a potential serious relationship/marriage partner or F*** buddy. If a woman has a reputation for putting out easily and has slept with tons of guys she will automatically go into the 2nd category most of the time.IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Knowflake Posts: 3265
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 12:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Well, take a guy who hits on me that I think is icky. I can treat him badly or I can treat him with dignity and it is a win/win.Take a woman who harasses me and won't stop, I have to beat her down so she knows not to bother me again. Maybe, we are talking about the same thing in different words, Jessica.
No Ami, we are not talking about the same thing. You are talking about you. I was talking about perception. IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Knowflake Posts: 3265
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 12:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
When I said a woman can control how guys perceive her she can control whether she is an easy lay or not. As kerosene said most guys categorize women into one of two groups, a potential serious relationship/marriage partner or F*** buddy. If a woman has a reputation for putting out easily and has slept with tons of guys she will automatically go into the 2nd category most of the time.
still doesn't make your perception of that person something real. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 3833
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 12:36 PM
As long as someone is interesting I don't see what the number of sexual partners has to do with anything...
Unless you're talking about looks...IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 7016
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 12:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
still doesn't make your perception of that person something real.
I didn't say they are real. That's just the way people think. IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Knowflake Posts: 3265
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 01:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I didn't say they are real. That's just the way people think.
Nope, that's not how people think. That's how you think. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 3833
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 01:07 PM
I wouldn't treat a proper club girl like trash because she decides a dress certain way on the weekend.
That's why basing your judgement on perception is flawed
People who judge others on appearance are too narrow minded,superficial and not worth knowing imo. Unless someone is vile and rude I don't see a reason to change my attitude. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 5570
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 05, 2013 01:49 PM
Jessica2407Just sending greetings. You are awesome! IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 44473
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 05, 2013 03:11 PM
Jessica
I am talking about simple ways to walk through life so that you get treated with respect. This goes to guys who hit on you.You CAN control most people by treating them respectfully and with honor. They will treat you back, that way, except for the few evil people around. These people need to be made to regret they messed with you imo ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 1587
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 04:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
I don't believe a woman can control how a man perceives her. This is not within her control neither can a guy control how a woman perceives him.If this is the case,I only find one word to describe it - manipulation.Perception in itself is a very subjective thing,it is influenced by past experiences,parental upbringing,past references etc. Perception exists in the mind only. A woman can act very lady-like towards a guy and the latter believes she is the Virgin Mary,doesn't make it true. Acting lady-like doesn't make you a lady. A guy can act like a gentleman ,be very nice and considerate towards women but deep down is another pathetic jerk. Just saying.
Fantastic thread hanna! Everyone, great comments!..... AND, this is WHY I TOTALLY gave up on ever finding anyone... too old, and I DESPISE DECEIT!! I don't attract a.holes, as much as Pathological LIARS... hmmm? maybe it's the same difference! Pixie Jane.... your "cartoon" on "Negging"... OMG! I printed it out. With a.holes like THAT, I effing wouldn't want to go NEAR anyone again! Ami Anne... I appreciate your balancing. "Trust No One"   I'm scared!!!!
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 7016
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 04:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
Nope, that's not how people think. That's how you think.
HMM. no actually thats the way alot of guys tend to think. You just dont want us to think that way. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 5570
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 05, 2013 04:50 PM
Try dating a minority. Just one date.I'm sure there are some eligible, educated and well mannered ones around. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 44473
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 05, 2013 04:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
HMM. no actually thats the way alot of guys tend to think. You just dont want us to think that way.
I agree! ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 44473
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 05, 2013 04:57 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
When I said a woman can control how guys perceive her she can control whether she is an easy lay or not. As kerosene said most guys categorize women into one of two groups, a potential serious relationship/marriage partner or F*** buddy. If a woman has a reputation for putting out easily and has slept with tons of guys she will automatically go into the 2nd category most of the time.
I agree. This is just reality. You have to live in Realville because it exists, with you or without you  ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2141
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 05, 2013 05:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
still doesn't make your perception of that person something real.
Hmm, I tend to disagree, I do think people are trained to notice how someone presents themselves and make a snap judgment on them. This is why people buy expensive clothes and makeup etc, now taking that a step further and "they are wearing this that makes them that" is where you are correct. Foolish of people to do that really. IP: Logged |
geea
Knowflake Posts: 460
From: Feralas
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted August 05, 2013 05:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
They will treat you back, that way, except for the few evil people around.These people need to be made to regret they messed with you imo
if theres no real danger involved you need to rise above that^... IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 5118
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 05, 2013 08:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
HMM. no actually thats the way alot of guys tend to think. You just dont want us to think that way.
I think Jessica is just pointing out you can't speak for the entire male population. Odette made a good point in advising me to get to know a variety of guys on a personal level, and she's right. In doing so that would help expand my tastes and preferences. As I already have somewhat of an eclectic palette, it wouldn't be appropriate for me to speak for every female on perception. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 44473
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 05, 2013 08:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by geea:
if theres no real danger involved you need to rise above that^...
You do need to be able to stand up when someone is harassing you and make them regret it. I do think that is needed and if that makes me bad, so be it  ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Knowflake Posts: 3265
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted August 06, 2013 01:27 AM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Jessica2407Just sending greetings. You are awesome!
Greetings YTA  Thank you! muah! IP: Logged |
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