posted August 12, 2013 12:36 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Hmm..perhaps men also do not want nice girls the same way woman do not want nice guys?

Which makes this all a sort of grand charade!

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posted August 12, 2013 12:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Padre - You mentioned beauty being an illusion.
I think it's important only in as much as it is connected to overall health and fitness.

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Thing is Odette, beauty is far more illusion then truth, that is still how relationships begin.

For example beauty in relation to health and fitness w/a view to relationships.

Say a man or woman winds up meeting the proverbial large person who is "beautiful inside and working on the outside"

Say said person has a relationship with someone who met them when they were quite heavy.

They work really hard, lose all of that extra weight and b/c quite attractive.

Hollywood script is "and they live happily ever after"

Real life script reads more like:

"after all the work I put in, why would I stay with you, I have far more options now"

When it comes to relationships, the "Law" of reciprocity is a myth..it's all about options.

posted August 12, 2013 12:42 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
Sure guys will have flings with bad girls as girls do with bad boys.

But most people won't marry a bad girl unless she's really not that bad to begin with it

We're talking about appearance, things that matter at first glance.
That girl can be a complete psycho but I'm sure people well until they get to know her personality

[b]Don't crucify me for being honest.

This not my opinion and I don't necessarily agree with it, but I'm just stating humans perception about appearance.

Do you catch my drift?[/B]

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i could marry someone covered in ink like kat von d. maybe i've just been with too many of these supposed "bad girls" but IME they are very loving. lol perhaps the opposite of bad boys/ nice guys. sometimes it's just expression or their taste. sometimes people just view them differently.

posted August 12, 2013 12:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
Sure guys will have flings with bad girls as girls do with bad boys.

But most people won't marry a bad girl unless she's really not that bad to begin with it

We're talking about appearance, things that matter at first glance.
That nice girl can be a complete psycho but I'm sure people treat her well until they get to know her personality

[b]Don't crucify me for being honest.

This not my opinion and I don't necessarily agree with it, but I'm just stating humans perception about appearance.

Do you catch my drift?[/B]

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Here I disagree, bad girls can and do marry, what happens is some fella who maybe is mildly successful with women hooks up and marries them.

She winds up being his "dream girl" never mind the tats will fade and she is certain to cheat on the poor schmuck.

From my experience, the "nice girl" is usually repressed, somewhat boring, and very materialistic in terms of large purchases.

What is worse, then one has to deal with a very milquetoast family as well.

This is one of the reasons why I'm still single..eegads seen both sides of the fence and it just does not appeal to me.

I crucify none, and I do get your drift, basically, things are different for attractive people.

posted August 12, 2013 12:52 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
^
Top tier bad girl- Effy

If you watch skins you'll know what i mean

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i watched a season of that but they made tony retarded the next season lmfao!!

she's a pornstar but there are many decent good girls with this look.

posted August 12, 2013 12:54 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Here I disagree, bad girls can and do marry, what happens is some fella who maybe is mildly successful with women hooks up and marries them.

She winds up being his "dream girl" never mind the tats will fade and she is certain to cheat on the poor schmuck.

From my experience, the "nice girl" is usually repressed, somewhat boring, and very materialistic in terms of large purchases.

What is worse, then one has to deal with a very milquetoast family as well.

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posted August 12, 2013 12:58 AM            

quote:

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i like nice girls.

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I like basically everyone lol

I don't even care anymore.

I only dislike people who are either nosy or try to interfere with my life in some way.. or act in a mean/disrespectful manner.

Padre -

quote:

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Real life script reads more like:

"after all the work I put in, why would I stay with you, I have far more options now"

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Well it depends. It's not everyone's script.

posted August 12, 2013 12:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
^
People who lack morals usually end up together..
there is a balance padre.
There are girls who just don't give a **** about either of those things lmfao.
but honestly I'm only interested in someone I've known for a long time...
The love and attached is all that really matters.
I don't really want to look for anyone else.. everyone is really f*ed up in their own way....

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hmm, sounds like Kero has someone lined up!

What I do believe is sexual history should be treated one of two ways:

-it does not come up (though it probably should, lesbian **** orgies may have been fun at time but....)
-it is dealt with on front street

posted August 12, 2013 01:00 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
That's reality tv lulz
She's probably normal irl?

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posted August 12, 2013 01:01 AM            

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sounds like Kero has someone lined up!

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Yes.. he has a very sweet 5-year-long, love story going

posted August 12, 2013 01:02 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Well it depends. It's not everyone's script.

I just think in general we should strive to be our best, because it makes life easier. When you are fit & healthy - things just seem easier and you feel more confident.
So I don't think personal beauty is meaningless.. in as much as it represents the quest to be the best version of yourself you can be.

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posted August 12, 2013 01:04 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Well it depends. It's not everyone's script.

I just think in general we should strive to be our best, because it makes life easier. When you are fit & healthy - things just seem easier and you feel more confident.
So I don't think personal beauty is meaningless.. in as much as it represents the quest to be the best version of yourself you can be.

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Indeed, confidence blooms so large the loyal person who stayed through all of it, at the end of the day..is not a part of the "new' you/them.

Beauty is meaningless in terms of relationships imo.

Beauty, or in a different turn of phrase, glamour, is initial attraction, when the dawn breaks, in the morn or two yrs from now, the reality of it all hits home.

What happens when Mr/Mrs Perfect does what humans do and it's disgusting?

posted August 12, 2013 01:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Yes.. he has a very sweet 5-year-long, love story going

I hope you do end up together Kero! You have several karmic connections in synastry

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As do I

posted August 12, 2013 01:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lulz:
who? i meant tony from skins. they made him retarded in the 2nd or 3rd season. must have ****** off a writer.

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posted August 12, 2013 01:08 AM            

I can be a bi*tch if someone seriously angers or upsets me. But I am generally caring towards people, so I am nice in that sense. I'm very affectionate!

I am definitely much too open and honest to be "bad" by cheating on someone though. I'm very upfront with those things that really matter - so I'm Aries-like in that sense!

Kero -

quote:

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Im good I sweaaaaar.

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pffffffffft That's what you all say!

posted August 12, 2013 01:10 AM            

quote:

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As do I

For all of the cynicism when actual Love comes to town..it's a beautiful thing!

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posted August 12, 2013 01:17 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
LOL @ sand.. That's so YOU! To ask me that...

I can be a bi*tch if someone seriously angers or upsets me. But I am generally caring towards people, so I am nice in that sense. I'm very affectionate!

I am definitely much too open and honest to be "bad" by cheating on someone though. I'm very upfront with those things that really matter - so I'm Aries-like in that sense!

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lol it is a very SAND question! i usually ask madonna or ***** tho but i've been told to b-have.

posted August 12, 2013 01:19 AM            

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Originally posted by SaturnineMoth:

So, again, while they do these studies, I believe they are incredibly inaccurate and only highlight certain percentages of the entire available pool of women (real women? I mean do they include women of other senses too or no??? who knows...) they also seem to neglect (as do the readers) exactly how many women are available in each age bracket...

early 20 somethings mean very little to the entire dating site phenomenon - those are were you are simply bound to find people just fooling around with what is before them instead of seeking serious relations. You have to know what you want - and know what you don't want - before you can really step foot into the big pond.

Most twenty-somethings and juniors don't qualify for their big girl panties. (on such sites)

Plus, looking at how women are judged by men... I mean there are two sides to this thing after all...

it may say that average looking women only mind men who are more attractive than them - but don't most (nearly all) men prefer the woman who is also the most attractive available as well? (kinda stands to reason... yes.)

Average or not the person wants - what is the best there is to offer, and if you have a choice - a choice - you go for what is best...

It's a bad analogy maybe - but just because I like old cars doesn't mean you can sell me a beater when there is an option for a very sexy classic thunderbird or new mazdda up for grabs... I'm not nuts... I know the beater isn't going to give me the same "feeling" that I would get in owning a f-g classic car or high end porch or what not!!! ~____~

women are complex - and this article/survey is obviously not...

sorry - but it doesn't really A) surprise me that they've come to this conclusion
or B) that they determined this based on very vague stats (using just their garden stock)

For the record - I thought all 4 of the images were rather handsome men.

I thought the first could use a comb, but otherwise he had a pleasant face and beautiful eyes, he looks like he has charm and charisma.

I thought the second fella with the guitar looked way too much like my first boyfriend - so yeah - young.... and again, bed head... but he obviously has some musical interest (or I would hope from the photo) - he also appears to have good posture (how he is holding the guitar).

the third -- this guy has a more reserved look and smile, but that makes him look all the mature and gentlemanly - he has dark and somewhat mysterious eyes and is well groomed. I liked his look best.

the fourth - the man with the glasses - he looks very young, but he has a great smile (did you notice his teeth) - and he seems the most cheerful (probably a bit shy about the camera) but this shows more openly (possibly honestly) how he would be in person...

there you have it my eye as a woman who has done the online scene and done it with success.

you guys are way more brutal in your opinions on the fellas...

geese and the article writers... average/decent looking??? really - they all look handsome. crazy people!!! *shakes fist* wake up!!!~ grrrr

(wont edit tonight but maybe tomorrow - I'm running on coffee here - sorry for so much - fragmented thought getting in)

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Though I didn't include the entire post I love your input, SM. I know this comment has nothing to do with the subject at hand, but I just felt the need to say so. I enjoy your in depth commentary!

There seems to be a huge focus on attractiveness ever since AG's contributions to this forum. As far as it goes, most younger folks tend to be shallow, and especially over the internet, where anonymity allows for more honesty... this is no surprise and I have just come to accept it as is. As far as women saying that those guys are "meh", I still think it has little bearing on who or what types women actually go for.
Women are complex in their needs, as SM has already said. They are not as simple as men tend to be, oh you look good/healthy so I'll ask you out on the spot. They have a lot less to lose, in terms of dating.

IMO... none of those men are unattractive, or even average. If I had to pick one myself, I'd pick the 4th guy. With the glasses. Same for the "medium-rated" women. Even if they do not look like Megan Fox or whoever is hot these days, there are still some other benefits they have. They still fit an (American) standard of beauty. That alone can uplift appeal more than symmetry can.