posted August 13, 2013 05:52 AM            

SO tell me what do YOU consider cheating?

Where do you draw the line?

Is it sex?

Is it a dinner date?

Would YOU go out on a dinner date with a guy you know has a gf? if not a dinner date, have a coffee perhaps? so where do you draw the line?

posted August 13, 2013 06:36 AM              

yes i would go out on a dinner date with a guy that has a gf! we can go dutch but the food has to be good otherwise he's not getting a 2nd date with me bromantically speaking.

yes i would ask a girl out with a bf. i used to respect that. i don't know y i don't now. i just don't.

posted August 13, 2013 07:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lunae:
For me, intimacy is the boundary that people committed to another shouldn't cross.

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what if your guy tells you 'I JUST had coffee with her' How would you react?

posted August 13, 2013 07:45 AM            

But seriously though, I can't really tell what my reaction to that would be. Never been in a relationship my whole life I think a friendly date won't hurt as long as they know their limits. (I sound naiive, I know )

posted August 13, 2013 09:04 AM            

Anything (with another person) that I wouldn't do in front of my husband that would sadden or hurt him if he found out is cheating.

I gather that he holds the same standard (but, not being him, I can't speak with authority).

We tend to be really open with each other, even telling one another about people who obviously flirt with or pursue us - not in a confessional way or something, but like, "Dude, when I was at Starbucks this lady *would not leave me alone*. She kept striking up conversation and making eyes at me *mimics flirty look*. I made sure she saw my ring *holds face with hands, ring side out* and everything. THEN she walked out to her car at the same time as me and kept looking over and trying to make eye contact. People are unreal."
[excerpted from an actual convo]

^ That, obviously, is not "cheating"
I also wouldn't remotely count when *others* think that you're flirting. You can't help what others think, and both my husband and I (though actually pretty antisocial) are animated and chatty in public, and many people interpret that as flirtation (or more) when it's just us being us.

Re: Coffee, etc: Nope, I trust him. Coffee's coffee, dinmer can even be "just dinner". When I was working (currently staying home with an army of crazy monkeys that I grew myself), I had plenty of coffees and meals with my overwhelmingly male coworkers and they were just coffees and meals.

He tells me about everything, anyway. I even know a slightly uncomfortable amount about his past relationships. He got upset the first time I (jokingly) called his Saggie Moon "the over sharing Moon" (it's also in the 8th conj Neptune...my 3rd House Aqua Moon sometimes unintentionally roughs him up), but he laughed, too, when I explained it to him.

posted August 13, 2013 09:06 AM            

So this colors my views on cheating, to me it's physical contact that is inappropriate.

posted August 13, 2013 09:28 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Also think the take a buddy of the opposite sex out for lunch or whatever is just something I'd never do, I think there is an underlying thing to it that it is better to not bother with as it ultimately is a WOT.

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c'mon bro!

what about a movie? quentin tarrantino does a black james bond starring idris elba. u being a movie buff want to catch first full show! that means around after lunch on a wednesday! only 1 guy responds your director friend that has no shoot on wednesdays! r u gonna be like... idk let's wait for another guy so it doesn't look like a date? or are you eff yeah let's do this!!

it's not a candle lit dinner with french food you have to eat slowly. manly meals! dudes on the quest for the best corned beef sandwich in the city! (but true people go on dates where the best corned beef sandwich in the city lies )

posted August 13, 2013 09:43 AM            

1.) Flirting with someone else on Facebook through comments, extended messages, picture commenting, inside joke commenting borderline relationship business like
saying "Oh where is Gloria tonight?! I miss her so much"
surely you would feel depressed if your significant other posted a status like that about another woman...

2.) Talking to someone wherever across the world they may be for hours on Skype, sharing details of your personal intimate life, emotional cheating, telling them things like "Wow I wish I could see you! You're so amazing! You make me forget blah blah blah!"

3.) Going out with them on coffee or dinner dates alone OR any type of let's go out and see each other in private or even with other friends but without the significant other present

4.) Intimate hugs, caresses, touchy feely business

(Believe me if you're in a committed relationship with someone you love then the thought of hugging another person intimately wouldn't even cross your mind let alone attract you to doing it, it would actually repulse you)

5.) SEX - the obvious factor

Bascially if you love your significant other and are in a conscious relationship with them, then you wouldn't ever even do any of the above things anyway...You just wouldn't want to.

Don't quote

posted August 13, 2013 09:54 AM            

He also likes the chicken wings at Hooters and likes to shoot pool at the neighborhood strip club. Kind of like the old days when guys liked reading Playboy for the articles.

My sister-in-law is at wits end, but the brother-in-law does not see that as cheating.

Another guy I know... not a friend!... frequents young ones and leases them by the hour. He doesn't believe its cheating because he says no emotions are involved in teh act. "Are you really going to allow a f to get in the way of our love?" lol

posted August 13, 2013 10:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lulz:
c'mon bro!

what about a movie? quentin tarrantino does a black james bond starring idris elba. u being a movie buff want to catch first full show! that means around after lunch on a wednesday! only 1 guy responds your director friend that has no shoot on wednesdays! r u gonna be like... idk let's wait for another guy so it doesn't look like a date? or are you eff yeah let's do this!!

it's not a candle lit dinner with french food you have to eat slowly. manly meals! dudes on the quest for the best corned beef sandwich in the city! (but true people go on dates where the best corned beef sandwich in the city lies )

oh oops i didn't read.

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Nope, BTDT, and tbh, if she has a BF then it is his job to do that stuff, not mine.

He can pull BF duty, it's not my job.

posted August 13, 2013 10:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
My brother-in-law has a porno hobby. He has a room other than his typical man-cave where he goes to town, complete with a full library and dedicated computer with extra storage. Plus a lingere collection that supposedly nobody has worn.

He also likes the chicken wings at Hooters and likes to shoot pool at the neighborhood strip club. Kind of like the old days when guys liked reading Playboy for the articles.

My sister-in-law is at wits end, but the brother-in-law does not see that as cheating.

Another guy I know... not a friend!... frequents young ones and leases them by the hour. He doesn't believe its cheating because he says no emotions are involved in teh act. "Are you really going to allow a f to get in the way of our love?" lol

I give up.

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Those two need to look in the mirror and turn the excuse machine to the "off" position.

posted August 13, 2013 10:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
If you feel the need to hide it from your significant other, it's cheating.

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This. I didn't mind my exes going out with female friends/coworkers. If they would have hidden this from me and I'd find out (and I always find out - Mercury/Pluto opposition), that would be cheating.

Apparently I am very rigid about staying away from guys who are already involved. Big no-no.

posted August 13, 2013 11:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lulz:
nope no boyfriends at the time. tho i do believe they are married now. i haven't kept in touch but i got an invite to their respective weddings.

i am greedy with my time when it's an errand for someone else but a night out on the town is hardly a chore for me.

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Which means, it would still have been a WOT lulz, clearly it would not have went anywhere, and time in this life is rather short.

INOW, I don't mind having female friends, I won't be put into the friendzone if I'm interested at all in them romantically.

posted August 13, 2013 11:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lulz:
avoiding is a good way to not cheat.

i also have a really cute dentist so i know the feeling. actually her dad is my dentist and she's learning the ropes. my gums r afraid of her but what the hell her hair smells so good!

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Anything to take your mind off the dentist

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